Hi everyone,

I was banded with a 14 ml band in April 2009 in the U.K. Only my family and a couple of very close friends knew about it. I had some weight loss - but not much - about 21lbs . To be honest I thought it would be miraculous.... it wasn't. I thought I knew what I was doing...I didn't.

From July 2009 through to February 2010, all four of my family, child, partner, mother and brother, had five surgeries between them and three acute illnessess. I was distracted and did nothing to support my band at that time.

I had a fill in February 2010 but from March 2010 an illness (unrelated to the band) kept me off work for over 9 months, .During this time in September 2010I became an empty nester as my daughter went to Uni. I thought that would give me more me time .... it didn't. She had a very difficult time and needed a lot of support again I didn't do things well or use the band properly

I returned to work in January 2011 in that time there had been major changes at work, new manager, new team, and a new role. I work in direct contact with the public in quite a stressful job. I wasn't ready to get back to banding.

Another fill in July 2011 took me to 9ml but didnt feel any difference, the doctor told me I would need two or three more fills, but I spent this year more absorbed in work than myself. I didn't do things well or use the band properly - ate on the run.

January 2012 brought a milestone birthday - 50 - I don't feel any different.. just as unfit and as unhealthy as I did at 47 when I had the band.

2012 brought another major restructure consultation at work, and new manager, team and role.... OMG.... here's a whole lot more stress.

Here we are in October 2012 - Im over three years banded and I weigh more now than when I started. I feel disillusioned and ashamed of myself, I feel I have let my family down.

I just want to get back on it if I can. I feel like I have forgotten everything and need to start totally afresh. I have come back onto the forum as you are all an inspiration and I really really need help with getting back on track and with discipline

So I'm beginning my journey again. Yesterday - 26/10/12 I had a fill of 1.5ml I'm now at 10.5ml in my 14ml band. It was under xray - the doctor said it all is fine with the band and the port and I am probably too loose.

Im following the liquids for 3 days, mushy for 3 days as per my fill advice.

I felt really hungry yesterday - nothing in the morning pre fill then Soup, a cup every 2 hours

Today soup again, a cup, 3 hourly and I made jelly so had a cup of that too.... and for the first time in a very long time I felt like I wasnt hungry! omg!!

So I don't know if Im in the green zone, sweet spot what ever you like to call it - I know there is a temporary effect.

This time I know I have to get organised, stick at it and pay attention to myself. Thanks for reading this and if you are just starting out, dont let this put you off the band is a tool you need to know how to use, there are lots of people on here who are so willing and able to help... I wish I had got on it properly and stuck to it. Instead of casually reading on this site, take the time to get involved SUPPORT IS SO IMPORTANT.

Thanks xx

Coming back is hard, none of us wants to fail and plenty of us got into this not fully understanding the commitment it would take. First and foremost you need to forget the past and just start fresh and move foreword. We all make mistakes this is not a contest but a life style change and change is hard and takes sometimes months, even years of undoing old habits and developing new behaviors. Getting back to the basics is the key to lap band and realizing that 95% of this journey is you and 5% is your band. It is hard, if anyone wants to disagree than I am happy for them. WLS does not fix our head hunger or our relationship with food and if we fail at it we only feel worse. There are many people on this site who are having success's and are changing their behaviors daily, hook up and follow them and you can learn from their successes and their mistakes (like I said we all make them) Learn to love yourself, positive affirmations and self esteem are key to successful weight loss. If you don't love you how do you expect others too. Any thing is possible with hard work, determination and believing in your self. Good luck and keep reading it gets better.

I loved your post it will inspire us who have had the post a short time. (5 months for me) it will also help teach the newbie’s that we have to work at this because the band is just a tool.

I have been stuck at the same weight for about a month and can’t seem to get past it, I was starting to feel sorry for myself but now after reading your post I will work harder and get past it. Hugs to you and good luck on your journey. I look forward to your future posts on how you are doing.

LovetheNewMe and lassie, thank you for your replies, and good advice. I'm going day by day and am trying to make time to pop in daily for support and tips even if it's for five minutes. It's so true that it's about developing new behaviours! I have forgotton all the things I'm supposed to do so I'm hunting down the advice.

lassie, I am so glad that you are going for an extra push... It looks like you have done brilliantly so far and in only five months! I'm inspired!

I would like there to be less of me to cuddle this Christmas xx