Alert the media. The fickle bitch I call my LapBand is back in business. Just when I thought that my restriction had tapered off and I was just dieting on my own, the bitch rears her ugly head with a surprise PB to remind me that she's still here. You know, God forbid I pride myself on losing a few pounds on my own without feeling any restriction. This bitch wants all the credit.

I can almost hear her laughing as I wait for this hot tea to gurgle on through.

Apparently 1 PB wasn't enough. I don't think she likes the way I'm talking about her, so she had to stick it to me and make me PB again.

Can I ask you a gross question -- when you PB, do you actually throw up? I think I PB'd last night for the first time, but I didn't actually throw up. I just felt really umcomfortable and ran to the bathroom thinking that I MIGHT throw up and after a few minutes, it passed.

That was just a golfball. See this post for a graphic description of my first PB:

http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=15400&highlight=pb%3F+worst+experience

Now THAT was funny!

Awww StrawartS, sorry the band is fighting back! Beat her down!

(Heh, notice I didn't ask what you PB'd on! You should be proud of me!)

Oh, it wasn't even crap food! I made a pretty healthy meal -

Emeril's chicken apple sausage

Cheesy garlic mashed potatoes from the box

Canned green with sauteed onions

And it was on the 1st bite...I hadn't needed any warm tea lately, so I figured I had just gotten used to my fill. And now I'm spitting my saliva into a cup because it creates a golf ball if I swallow. Pleasant, no? It'll go away in a few hours. Ahh...such is life with the LapBand.

The meal sounds great! Uh... umm.... since you didn't get to finish it, are there any leftovers???

Ugh. You take it so calmly! I whine & beg Mikey to hold my hair back... or rub my back...

Oh, the first time I couldn't swallow my own spit, I was NOT calm. It actually helps to loosen up if I sit still and don't get too excited.

Oh, another thing that makes me tighten up is any sort of traumatic, blood-pressure raising event. For instance, when I was driving to the DFW lunch at Jason's, there was a cop tucked away into this lovely little nook on the freeway just waiting for us to zoom by. He didn't get me, but I tried to take a sip of Water afterwards and found myself stuck! Very weird. It went away in a few minutes.

Mikey, the leftovers have been put away so as not to taunt me. But hold on, let me courier some over to you right now.

I just read your post on your graphic description of my first PB. I was laughin so hard I caught the eye of my boss. ROFLMAO!

I needed that today, ty

PBs suck monkey butts.

StrawartS:

I was reading this thread and of course had to read your PB description in the linked thread - ROFLMAO!!!

I am not banded yet and really had wondered what PB truly meant - I've hear of the golfball, but never heard the graphic description!!

I'm sorry that you had to go through it - but your accounting of it was priceless!! Thanks for the entertaining education!!!

Dont worry StrawartS, at this point, I welcome a good pb.

You know, Paula, I have to agree. I was beginning to think I'd never have one again! It's nice to know that my band is still in there somewhere doing it's job. And after the first couple, I know how to handle them, so they really ARE just small, non-terrifying, productive burps...no more 9 inch bubbles.

That is one of the strangest things about the band...she is fickle! I find I usually know when her presence is about, but other times she lurks in the mist.........and bam! Sneak attack! You're right though, once you can handle the PBs it's not so bad.........and that's what she's there for to stop us -- right?