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Drowning

I had my band out 8/27 and since then everyday is a constant struggle. I don't go in for a recheck to discuss the next surgery until the end of November. I am trying, struggling, succeeding, failing then repeating it all over on a weekly basis. I workout out but I am so tired of this battle with my weight, with my health.

My guess is I won't be able to revise to the bypass till early 2013. That is 3-5 months of dealing with this and I am unsure of how I can. I have never lost this much weight and then had to battle with not gaining it all back. If I could loose 20lbs and maintain I would be fine. If I could maintain without fear that everything I eat will end up on my midsection I'd be okay. I am hating food, hunger and the depression that goes with it.

Someone say it will be okay.

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Along with my weight, I've struggled with depression. I've had to come up with new ways of thinking and talking to myself. I started to think like this. It took me 25 years to put this weight on, it won't come off overnight. In a world where we expect instant gratification it can be really hard to wait for what we want. 3-5 months must seem like an eternity but think about it like this, in less than 6 months, you'll be on track again. You've lost 88 lbs so far and that is wonderful!! You've lost a 4th grader! You only have a 5th grader left to lose! :) Everything will be okay. We all have set backs but these kinds of experiences make us stronger!! You can do it and we are here to help you make it through.

It will be ok!!! It is so hard that's the reason we all got this to begin with, I had to have an unfill a few months back and it was so hard! I know exactly what you are going through, the hungry feeling is not fun at all!!! If I were you I would make sure to start and end every meal with fruits and veggies to help keep you feeling full longer. And just know even if you do gain you are going to get a revision soon and will lose it again!!! Hang in there! Sorry :(

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Thanks Ladies. And jups you are right. I havent actually used this site since getting my band 3 years ago. I have actually lost 160lbs though I have recently gained back 40. Thats a lot of weight and I am much happier now then in the past and yes I will loose again.

Thanks again this is a long wait and I needed to vent. Most days I can deal just fine but then some days I want to call up my surgeons office and beg and plead for them to do the surgery now lol I'd bribe them if I could. Thing is I waited 3 months for the band but I had never been thinner had no aspirations that it could happen so I didn't know how it felt to be almost there and then gaining. It's a weird roller coaster ride.

Yesterday was my 'oh crap how am I going to make it til then' day. It's hard, it sucks, but 1 day at a time. 138 to go (for me) one day at a time dear :)

  • 1 month later...

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