I was just reading another thread, and I didn't want to hijack from that thread, so I started my own.

My husband didn't want me to get the band because he was worried that I would lose weight and dump him. We had that conversation for the longest time before I was banded, and also after. I told him that I love him, and I was doing it for me. But, since I have had it done, and have lost weight, we really don't talk about it anymore. He has yet to say, Hey you look like you've lost weight, or you look great. It does hurt my feelings at times because we can be around friends and they will say it. I have asked him about it, and all he has said is you looked great before you had it done, so I don't feel the need to tell you anything.

Has anybody else had this happen, or had any other success stories?

My husband is 6'-4" and averages 315lbs. He is ALL muscle except for a little belly. Well, it is a big belly, but he is a SOLID guy. He didn't want me to have the band at first, because he thought I would have this surgery and fail like I failed all of my diets before. (he wasn't being rude, just realistic) In the end, he told me that it was my choice and he would support me any way he could...

Now with me 50 pounds lighter... I have more energy and I love to cook treats for him... he keeps saying that I am trying to fatten him up so I will look even smaller than him. It is the current running joke in the house.

He is SO excited about my weight loss and he just loves every minute of it.

He has always told me I am sexy and all that stuff... (even at 365lbs) but now I know it. He helps me reach my goals and treats me when I get there.

Right now, we are planning a night on the town when the scale says 275... only 4 pounds away!!! It gives me something to work for.

I will pretty soon be smaller than I was when we started dating and he said he is going to feel like he is having an affair since I am changing so much!

Good topic, I have wanted to talk about this.

I have a very loving husband who loves me just the way I am. He doesn't want me to have this surgery but won't stop me. I honestly don't know why he feels this negative about it. I think he just wishes I could do it on my own. You know, if you don't have the problem it is hard to understand kind of thing.

I feel really bad that he is not supportive, but not enough to cancell my surgery July 14th. I told him I also wished I was one of the 1% who could lose significant amount of weight and keep it off. That if it was as easy as eating a little less and exercising a little more, I'd have done it and kept it off YEARS ago.

I too wish I didn't need to have a device planted in my internal organs to achieve what has escaped me my whole life, but this is the best option out there. I am 42 years old now, if I don't do it now, when am I going to do it.

I told him that I feel I will be a healthier person down 90 pounds. I have heart disease and diabetes in the family.

But still, it hurts me that my life partner wishes I would cancel. I have been with him since I was 18 years old. Really, he has seen me struggle an gain, struggle and gain. That is what is hurting my health. I have just gotten progressively heavier with each child and now as I enter premenopause, it is getting even harder.

I hope he comes around.

PS, my dh 'fights' with about 10 - 20 pounds. He seems to lose it as easy as giving up a few beers and playing hockey a few more times. So I guess he thinks that if I took exercise more seriously, I could control my weight better.

Paula, I'm right there with you. My husband wanted me to do it myself. I'm 38 I told him, If I could do it myself, don't you think I would of done that 20 years ago.

Paula, I'm right there with you. My husband wanted me to do it myself. I'm 38 I told him, If I could do it myself, don't you think I would of done that 20 years ago.

This was my mom's hang up! And she should understand since she WAS overweight forever also. She did it on her own, so I should have been able to... lalalalala I think that is how my PCP feels, but he doesn't dare say a word. He is a BEAN POLE and obviously has never been fat or even chubby!

Heather my mom said the same thing also. I think it is just one of those things that everybody has to put there 2 cents into.

Heather my mom said the same thing also. I think it is just one of those things that everybody has to put there 2 cents into.

Which is why, I am not telling the world about my plans. I don't want to hear everybody's 2 cents :huytsao

My husband has been very supportive. We joined the gym together, we work out together, he's real good about what foods i can and can't eat.

He of course was worried that i might die on the operating table, that i would some how "change" but so far the surgery has brought us closer i think.

Which is why, I am not telling the world about my plans. I don't want to hear everybody's 2 cents :huytsao

If I could turn back time, I would have only told my hubby.

Some people just don't get it...

Oh, my favorite is ... "That is the easy way out" What is easy about not getting to eat whatever you want whenever you want?

My husband is the one that suggested that I get the band.

I'd thought about weight loss surgery, but never mentioned it to my fiancee, because I didn't have a means to even try and get it (no insurance, no money). My mom and I were talking about someone we knew who had the bypass, and I told her about the band. She said "you should do that, I'll pay for it". So I called my fiancee that night and told him I was having it done. The first words out of his mouth were "you should do whatever is going to make you happy".

I never did get him to tell me what he really thought, lol. But he never went back on that. We did have some issues with him being worried that I would lose weight and decide that I didn't need to 'settle' for him anymore. I told him that he talked to me when I was at my highest weight and I didn't need anyone who was only talking to me because I was thinner.

Initially I didn't even tell my DH that I was going to a WLS seminar because I was sure he would disapprove and try to talk me out of it. Surprise...!! The night I returned from the seminar and showed him the Inamed booklet and told him all the GOOD things the band had to offer his reply was: "I think it's a wonderful idea. If you want to do this, I'll support you 100%". **Wow! And he's been a sweetheart ever since. Even with all my weight gain over the last 27 years he's never once complained or told me I needed to lose weight. The two of us together are like Jack Sprat and his wife. He's 6'3" and weighs maybe 200 lbs soaking wet...while me on the other hand at 5'2" and ....well over 200 lbs - we're a sight. I'm so looking forward to becoming a much smaller wife for my 'long tall drink of water' husband. As husbands go... I'm blessed - he's wonderful and I know that he is concerned over my health - if he wasnt' he would't have agreed so easily. He's watched me struggle with this practically my whole life.

So anyway...that's my story.

When I first learned about the band at work, Mikey's reaction was, "I love you as you are. It's surgery. It's dangerous. Don't take the chance." He was of course thinking of gastric bypass.

After much research, praying, talking, laughing, crying & hugging, he had his done first!

He's beyond supportive, even when he had ZERO gas pain & I was whining worse then a 2-year-old. We're excited-scared of the changes that the band will bring... and totally psyched to see what they'll be, if that makes any sense.

At least we're changing together! Marriage rocks!

Yes it does!

Ya'll our so sweet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, let me give you some background on my husband and our relationship. When I met him, I was instantly captivated by this tall, dark handsome gorgeous guy in his cowboy hat. Wow, he was striking. Still is. Well, guess what- this good looking guy noticed me too. All through our relationship I always felt unworthy of him, I knew I wasn't ugly but I also knew I was fat and I felt so unsexy. I was always very proud of what a good looking guy I had and although I know all the good qualities that I have, I never felt pretty enough to be with such a good looking guy. And what made things worse some of his family members would gossip that the only reason he was with me was because I was rich. After being together for two years we decided to purchase a house for us to live in and around the same time he bought himself a new truck, so rumors started flying that I had paid for them (I didn't of course). Wow, little did they know that I was a divorced, broke student that had to work full time to support herself and her daughter. It really hurt me. I thought well I must look that bad that people are justifying a good looking guy being with a fat girl like me. Well anyways, like all relationships we had rough Patches and good times. We eventually got married and had two more children ( I have one daughter from my previous marriage). My husband is not a very affectionate person, especially in public. (never learned it from his parents). I know he loves me, but he rarely tells me he does, he does show me, but he is also not the type to offer a compliment or critisism for that matter. All the times that I complained about being fat he would just tell me "well if you don't feel comfortable with yourself then do something about it, don't just complain and not do anything to get to where you want to be." But he never complained about me being overweight. I was the one that didn't feel comfortable. My self esteem was so low that I was constantly terrified that this gorgeous good looking guy would find some skinny girl and leave me for her, so this made me an extremely jelouse and possessive person towards him. After yo yo ing with my weight for so long I decided the band was for me. I know I was a lower bmi than most here, but I was tired of being fat and wanted a different life. Slowly after two more pregnancies the pounds crept up more and more and that was it. I could not take control of my weight on my own, so I needed help. I talked to him and he was 100% supportive of my decision, not once did he question it, he gave me the money and said if this is what you want, then go for it. He was concerned for my safety but I reassured him and presented him with all the research I had done. Well, I thought for sure that once the pounds dropped he would be so much more into me, or would lavish me with compliments. But guess what he is still the same man, nothing has changed. He loves me the same and treats me the same. I question him and ask him, don't you think I look hot, cause others sure think I am. He hates when I say that. But as I said on another thread, while on vacation, he looked straight into my eyes and said I think you have lost enough weight and you don't need to lose anymore. I don't want you to get anorexic (As if that could ever happen, ha, ha..) but anyways, for a guy that doesn't know how to express his feelings, this was the biggest compliment anyone could have ever given me. I love him so much. And hey late last year he almost beat up some guy in the produce department at Wal-Mart that was staring at me.. I keep telling him, he is just going to have to get used to me being so damn fine, he, heeee.......No really, I know this is a long post, but what I'm really trying to say is that, losing weight will not change someone else's attitude or feelings towards you. You will change, because the self confidence that I know have makes me be a better person and a better wife to him. And yes, there will always be younger, prettier girls out there with better asses and breasts than me. But that is okay, because I finally feel good about myself and know that the love that he has for me is not messured by what I look like but for who I am inside. And I am still me, just better and with more confidence in myself ready to take on the WORLD!!!

P.S. In the last nine years since we have been together, he had gone from weighing 180 to 210 and he is not fat because he is so tall and so muscular, but I love teasing him about how much more he weighs than I do...