Don't get me wrong, I love my in-laws (well, future in laws I should say). They just can't really grasp that I can't eat big plates of pasta anymore (they are full blooded Italians). I would much rather serve myself at Sunday dinner , but one of them always grabs the spoon and starts doling out portions before I can say "Lap Band". When I say "Just a little bit for me please", it's still too much and I'm afraid of being rude or a pain in the ass. My fiance's aunt kind of gave me a dirty look once when I asked for some to be taken out of my plate so I keep my mouth shut now. I eat as much as the band will allow and quietly try to pass off the rest to my fiance. He will be banded in February so this won't really be an option anymore. I guess I should just stop being a wuss and speak up about it, but in such a food centered household I am so afraid of insulting them. What should I do?

I am a italian who was born and raised in brooklyn and my dad came over from italy in 1963 so he was as strict italian as they come. it was insulting for anyone to say to him no thank you i already ate. people who would have said they couldn't eat another bite came to visit my house and tried to say they were full, but ended up sitting down and eating a meal that could choke a pig. not sure why, but italians seem to think that food is life and sitting down and sharing a meal with a friend or family is what life is all about. Maybe that is why my entire family is overweight. i am sure it is difficult to look at a huge mound of food on your plate, but if you can stand it, just eat slowly and keep telling them how absolutely delicious it is and leave the rest on your plate. i really don't think you will ever get them to understand that you are eating less. it is drilled into their brains from children that you clean your plate. we had a full bowl, actually dish, a bowl would be too small, of pasta everynight as a first dish and then a second of steak or chops of cutlets. when i think of how much food i ate as a young kid, i get sick. here is a good idea, try to strike up most of the conversation, it is easy to not eat as much when you are doing all the talking. good luck

Eat what you want and leave the rest on your plate. If they comment then you can tell them why if you want to. Tell them it was delicious but that you CAN"T eat any more. If they have a problem with that then that is THEIR problem not yours.

Don't get me wrong, I love my in-laws (well, future in laws I should say). They just can't really grasp that I can't eat big plates of Pasta anymore (they are full blooded Italians). I would much rather serve myself at Sunday dinner , but one of them always grabs the spoon and starts doling out portions before I can say "Lap Band". When I say "Just a little bit for me please", it's still too much and I'm afraid of being rude or a pain in the ass. My fiance's aunt kind of gave me a dirty look once when I asked for some to be taken out of my plate so I keep my mouth shut now. I eat as much as the band will allow and quietly try to pass off the rest to my fiance. He will be banded in February so this won't really be an option anymore. I guess I should just stop being a wuss and speak up about it, but in such a food centered household I am so afraid of insulting them. What should I do?

Jenn, you have done so well so far! Your in-laws must see that. I'm assuming that they know about your surgery. (If not, you need to tell them.) This is your journey, not their's. Whether they understand or not, they need to respect it. You are facing your issues and taking care of them. If that is insulting to them, that is THEIR issue and they need to deal with it themselves. Once your fiance is banded, his parents will probably become much more understanding. If I were you, I would sit his mother down and explain to her that you can no longer eat the way you did in the past and it is nothing personal against her or her cooking. Tell her that you and her son are trying to get healthy for your future together and for the well being of her future grandchildren.

they will just have to get over it and you don't owe anyone anything. I know it is an insult to Italians if you turn down food, my step grandma was full blood Italian and I sweari gained 10 lbs every tim I stayed the weekend at her house. that is how they are, you won't change them. they will just have to get over it. eat what you can and take the rest home.

ive been craving italian food for sooo long :0)