I had this problem the three times before when I lost a ton of weight on diet pills and chemo.

Everyone said how great I looked (so I imagine I look real bad now) but inside I felt like I was cheating a fraud a failure inside

….so far I have lost 11 pounds (still eating too much but have another fill on oct 17)

and while it was been hard (the pain and gas after the surgery) the Protein drinks and the mushy baby like food…it still has been easier than before much less hungry not always thinking about food.

I did talk about this with the psychiatrist and he told me I wasn’t cheating it was a tool and while I Agreed mental I still feel quilty (catholic and my dad’s mom was jewish so I know all about quilt)

When I am eating my small meals around people who don’t know about the band I feel like a fake

Last week we had the yummiest Cookies and I didn’t have one

Was very proud of myself till someone (everyone knows I am on a diet again but will surprise them when I make it this time) mentioned what great will power I had and felt sad like I was cheating

Wonder if this feeling will ever go away..in the past it never did and every time someone complemented me I felt like a fake

How is taking steps to improve your health cheating. I guess me, taking meds to improve

my diabetes, is cheating? I recently read that over 90% of people that lose weight by dieting,

gain that weight and more, back. I don't think it's lack of will power, it seems people are hard

wired to gain weight to hold us over in lean times. When I eat with others, I feel righteous

with my little bit of food while they eat their huge plates. Why not enjoy your weight

loss and the hell with any detractors and forget the guilt?

Sure you are cheating. You are cheating early death. You are cheating diabetes. You are cheating high blood pressure. You are cheating the people who think because our clothes are twice as large we should pay 5 times as much for them. You are cheating back pain, breathlessness, and feeling bad about your self image.

You know what - none of those things play fair - so you darn well ought to cheat them.

The surgery isn't cheating. You made a choice to change your life. You overcame fear. You paid for the band or jumped through your insurance hoops. You took steps necessary to deal with this problem. You did what you needed to do, to make yourself healthy - and who is anyone to judge that.

We all tried willpower alone. We denied ourselves. It didn't work. So now you are dealing with the problem rather than accepting it. Anyone who loves you will see you as smart and brave and be so glad that you are taking steps to be in their lives longer.

I had this problem the three times before when I lost a ton of weight on diet pills and chemo.

Everyone said how great I looked (so I imagine I look real bad now) but inside I felt like I was cheating a fraud a failure inside

….so far I have lost 11 pounds (still eating too much but have another fill on oct 17)

and while it was been hard (the pain and gas after the surgery) the Protein drinks and the mushy baby like food…it still has been easier than before much less hungry not always thinking about food.

I did talk about this with the psychiatrist and he told me I wasn't cheating it was a tool and while I Agreed mental I still feel quilty (catholic and my dad's mom was jewish so I know all about quilt)

When I am eating my small meals around people who don't know about the band I feel like a fake

Last week we had the yummiest Cookies and I didn't have one

Was very proud of myself till someone (everyone knows I am on a diet again but will surprise them when I make it this time) mentioned what great will power I had and felt sad like I was cheating

Wonder if this feeling will ever go away..in the past it never did and every time someone complemented me I felt like a fake

Nope. Dont feel like im cheating at all. Not many ppl know about my band. Hey, i am doing what i need to do for myself. The only thing i felt guilty about was when i asked my dad to watch my kids for surgery but lied bc he didnt know about it. But ehhh, i got over it. Lol.

J

Banded 9/22

I never feel like i'm cheating and neither should you. It was will power that stopped you from having that cookie. You are physically able to eat a cookie with the lap band. It wasn't the lap band that prevented you from having that cookie, It was you who prevented you from having that cookie. You should feel awesome!

Absolutely not! This is a tool to help me get healthier. We use tools in all aspects of our life, why should I feel bad about using one that will improve the quality of my life? No one has yet said to me that I am cheating or taking the easy way out, and if they do they will get an earful. LOL

I wrote about this awhile back on my blog

http://aleadsinger.blogspot.com/2011/08/come-onbe-honest.html

Do u feel like having a gym membership, personal trainer, meals mailed to u, etc are cheating? These r all tools to help u! There is no shame, I feel ne ways, in having the band. I had to work hard to get it, survive the pain of sugery, & have work hard with diet & exercise to allow it to work properly! I'm guessing in about 50 lbs that guilt will start to subside

"Wonder if this feeling will ever go away..in the past it never did and every time someone complemented me I felt like a fake"

This feeling won't go away until you LET IT GO. I have never worked harder to lose weight than I have since getting the band. I love the work, but it has been hard ... that's a good thing ... builds character. And yes, even at my age, there's room for personal growth. LOL

I'm sure your psychiatrist has made you aware that this has nothing to do with what others may think of you and the band, only what YOU think of you and your band. So I ask you: How does it serve you to feel 'guilty' about using a "tool" to assist you in your weight loss? Are you uncomfortable with the idea that you are on the road to better health, more confidence, smaller clothing sizes, more attention from people of both sexes (people (strangers really) treat you better when you are slim - both men and women - sad, but true)?

Often extreme weight loss will take us out of our comfort zone. In the beginning it can be uncomfortable, but in time we adjust -- and it feels GOOD! You'll be alright. Work on changing your thinking and in time things will come into focus. And as betheboo said ... 50lbs down and the guilt will subside.

All the best to you on your journey.

~Fran