A little update on me
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Hmm, there's no lapband lounge anymore, so here seemed as good a place as any. This isnt lapband related, but so many have offered me messages of support in the past few months, I thought I'd let you all know that treatment is finished!
I've been in hosptial this week with another suspected bowel obstruction, which cleared without any problems, just a very sore tummy for a day or two. I've had about five of these episodes, and we've never been able to find any physical obstruction such as an adhesion or stricure, nor any food obstruction blocking my stoma so we're fairly sure now that these painful episodes are a side effect of chemo for me. As we all know, chemo does affect your digestive system quite badly and I've had all the nausea etc. If you ever want to SEE what it does to your body, its fascinating to have a stoma, which afterall is simply the inside of your intestines sticking out of your abdominal wall. Mine went purple, grotesquely lumpy and swollen and had ulcers all over it on Sunday and sure enough, by Sunday night, i'm doubled over and heading into emergency to be admitted for bowel rest. As my oncologist pointed out, this was no doubt what the entire inside of my digestive tract looked like at this point in time, so this time, given I have only four chemo sessions to go he decided we'd just finish up early - afterall they got ALL the cancer at surgery, there was no lymph node involvement and this last six months of chemo has been precuationary only. I am beyond thrilled that I can finally end this awful cycle of nausea, depression and heading back every week, just as I'm starting to feel better, to poison myself all over again. Wine and coffee will finally taste good again! I will not have to head out for my run feeling like I'm moving through thigh deep water! I can train for another 10K event. I dont have to baby myself, take it easy, apologise to my DH for not feeling up to helping in the garden, with the painting or even heading out to a movie on a Friday night.
So I now have about 10 glorious weeks to myself, my body is mine again for the time being. I intend to pick up the exercise beyond maintenance levels, I've gotten a wonderful casual job (since I wasnt able to teach this year) working with a company that does incursions into primary schools teaching gynastics to the junior grades, and I'll be able to do some casual relief teaching, get of the house and no longer have a trip to the shops for a coffee as the most exciting point of my day! Thankfully I've gotten through this with a headful of healthy hair, I look well and although the doctors have been very concerned at my low weight a few times, its held fairly steady and i'm a little bit too thin but not gaunt or emaciated or sick looking. Its actually been great to have an unfilled band and to learn that I have changed, that I'm not the overeater I was and that my motivation to look after myself is not all coming from that little bit of silicone but that I can actually proudly claim a lot of credit for it.
I'll have my ileostomy closed in about 10 weeks time and it will be a bit of a challenge, it can be difficult to get a predictable and manageable bowel function going again and I'm very apprehensive about possible incontinence for a while, dietary issues, whether I'l be able to go out for a run without wearing a damn diaper, all sorts of scary stuff, but its also entirely possible that I'll be right as rain within a month or two and I have resolved to stay OFF the internet searching out horror stories. I'm blessed that financially I can work when I want to and dont have to return until I'm confident that my bowels wont be a worry to me every day.
So all in all, I've nearly got my life back, thanks for listening, it felt really good to write that down. Telling others kind of makes it real!