I went to a bariatric support group meeting a few months ago. I've been determined to let go of an incident that happened but another thread just brought all my feelings to the surface again. Please forgive me for using this forum to vent.

I'm a band patient who didn't get restriction right away from fills. It took over a year of working with my surgeon to get me to the right place. Needless to say, I didn't lose weight like some others have reported. At times I've been discouraged but somehow, I've managed to stay mostly optimistic and keep working at it, which is finally paying off.

At the support group meeting, two women asked me when I was banded and how much weight I had lost. The way they looked me up and down with obvious disgust/disapproval made me feel like a failure and want to crawl into a hole. When I thought about it later it just made me mad.

This was not my first experience with judgement and comparison. In the surgeon's waiting room I met another woman who'd had surgery around the same time as me. We talked about our weight loss and she'd lost a whole lot more than me. The smug, judgemental air that came off her really hurt.

Of all the people in the world who should be supporting another heavy person I would think it would be other people who have actually walked in fat shoes. I don't understand the competition and the judgement.

Oh my! I wasn't able to read the forums for a few days. Your posts to this thread are so thoughtful and thought provoking. Thank you everyone! Great points all. Thanks for the hugs and well wishes.

Claudia, I would love to buddy up. I'm not real consistent about being on the forum, but when I'm here, I'll be here for you!

Fran, your point-by-point insight into the positives of losing slowly .. wow! Love it!

Dave, I questioned myself about exactly what you pointed out thinking maybe I was reading it wrong. I wish I was, but there was no denying the attitude. It was that obvious. Kudos to you for being in tune to somebody else and their feelings. This is a crazy emotional ride .. sorry your positive turned into something not so positive. HUGE congrats on your weight loss!

Thank you to all of you who are in the Slow Motion Boat with me and offered your empathy! Maybe we need a new group for us? I think any forward, stalled or even backward motion is valuable as long as we can remain encouraged and encouraging. It's so easy to get discouraged and feel left behind. I try to keep believing and stay optimistic.