Hey everyone! I apologize in advance if my post sounds any bit confusing, but I am ranting and am so confused! I really need some feedback on this.. it's really important to me! My surgery is set for April,4 and this is my second time around trying to get lap band.

So, last night I was wide awake, nearly panicking after having an hour long discussion last night about health with one of my best friends. My friend is training to be a surgical tech right now - a newly turned "vegan" (another phase of hers) - and on her "going to the gym" spurt. Medical term wise, at the moment she thinks she pretty much knows everything. Health wise - her entire life has consisted of every different diet known to man & she's still overweight & always ends up falling off the bandwagon. She also has a tendency to feel high and mighty when she goes on her rampants about her current beliefs (and Lord knows they change frequently). Don't get me wrong.. I pray that she sticks with this and am super glad that she's being proactive about getting healthy! Anyways, given those two facts about her, she pretty much lectured me our whole conversation. Now, I am having second thoughts about getting lapband. AGAIN. She did this to me back in November. I felt guilty & got cold feet. I thought, why am I doing this? I can do this on my own & I halted the process. After that, I stopped talking to the girl as much. January rolls around and my mind is back to being focused on lap band.

Here I am now - date set for April 4 - fearing the rest of my life being banded.... and it's all for dumb reasons. Like for one - my skin! I am terrified of having a wrinkley, funky looking stomach, thighs and arms from losing weight too fast! I will be active with the lap band by incorporating mostly cardio, but to my understanding I will still be flappy, given that I do lose the weight. I don't have a husband I can just feel comfortable around in my skin for the rest of my life. I have a supporting boyfriend, but I do not see a long-term future with him. I can be a very insecure person sometimes and I feel like skin will hold me back. I know this is superficial and ridiculous, but I just can't help think of these things.

Another thing - giving up the foods I love. I am a carbohydrate girl! I love bread. I love beer. I can give up beer and will give up most breads if I have to. I love to eat, and so now I'm worried about this too!

I am worried about having this contraption in my body, wrapped around my stomach and a port traveling up to my skin. Having to maintain this band for the rest of my life.

I'm worried about scars even though I have a road map of stretch marks from pregnancies. I've never had any surgeries. I have had 2 babies naturally.

I have had sucess in the past couple of years by going to the gym and doing cardio for an hour and a half 4x per week and sticking to weight watchers. I was also using Phentermine at the time, which doesn't work for me anymore. I then injured my back and my weight has since ballooned, reaching the 300 mark just a couple of weeks ago. I believe I can do this without the band, but I can't find motivation anywhere.

I feel like I need this lap band to get healthy. I want to be healthy. I know having the surgery is not an easy, quick fix, but it will help me in sooo many ways. Except..... all of the above is giving me 2nd thoughts and I am getting anxiety now thinking about it. I was so excited. Now I want to cry.

Should I proceed with the surgery?

Please give me some advice. No sugar coating.

I've lost 50 pounds so far and actually my saggy skin isn't that bad at all. While that may not be the case for everyone you can't let that stop you. Being healthy is much more important than saggy skin.

Also as for being a carb addict I find it different with the band. Here's what I mean:

Before the band if I was dieting but I really really wanted some rolls, biscuits whatever then I would just eat them anyway and feel badly about it the next day.

With the band however, I know that if I eat too much bread I will be sick and in pain and I will throw up. That has kept me from even wanting bread anymore.

Now that I'm banded I've had to give up a few things because they get stuck and make me sick but you know what? I don't miss them. Seeing the weight come off is much more important than having a roll.

I had a lot of friends that were against this but now that they see how well I'm doing they are actually happy for me.

You have to do what's right for you.

I could relate to sooo much of what you are saying. I've struggled for over 20 years with every diet known to man. I lose, I gain and I lose and I gain more. I'm done, I'm exhausted and I'm ready. I've quit the process myself out of fear. BUT, what has changed me....my son. He is going to be 3 and I want to be here to raise him and I want to be healthy and have some fun doing it. Right now, if I stay like this...I won't be able to ride with him at the amusement park. I wont' be able to chase him at the park etc., etc. I don't want to be an embarrassment to him when he starts school....I"m already going to be the "old" mom, I don't want to be the "old, fat mom." My husband doesn't think I need it but I KNOW I need it. I'm terrified of flabby skin but it is a price I'll pay to have a healthy heart and body. Someday, I'll get surgery for it but until then, I'm going to be here for my kid. I chose the band because I didn't want to lose it super fast like you can with a sleeve or bypass. I'm willing to make that sacrifice to lose it slower. I too have the willpower and ability to lose it on my own....I've done it...quite a few times as a matter of fact, but yet, here I am. I'm not doing this anymore and no one understand but me. My husband tells me that I'm "not that big".....if he only knew my weight he would be shocked. Only you can make this decision because you are still going to have to diet and work at the band. I'm scheduled to be banded on April 18th (one month sooner than originally scheduled) and I'm scared, but I'm not looking back. I have a future and I'm going to love living it.

Here's the deal...you've done the research and made the decision that the band is right for you. I'd go with that. I too worried about saggy skin...which I think was pretty stupid of me since what's saggy skin compared to being so fat I couldn't walk across the living room without being out of breath, diabetes, a shorter life span and most likely not being around to see my grandchildren. I also am a carb girl and wasn't sure I wanted to give that up. The reality is that, unless you have a metabolic disorder that has difficulty dealing with carbs, you probably don't have to. There are a number of people here who still eat carbs...just less of them. You'll have to find what works for you in that respect.

As for your 'friend'...the next time she starts on one of her expert lectures, I'd calmly look her up and down and say "so how's that working for you?" You can't talk the talk unless you walk the walk.

I've used that "So how's that working for you?" on my friend who is trying to tell me that I can do this on my own and do it "naturally." She continues to tell me about a family member who had a band done 8 or 10 years ago and has regained most of her weight. Weightloss advice from my friend who is overweight and can't get a knee replacement unless she loses weight??? Theres the pot calling the kettle. I do like the "You can't talk the talk unless you walk the walk." Perfect! I keep getting told if I just set my mind to it I can do it w/o surgery.....get your mind set and get out of mine! I have just learned to plug my ears and say "lalalalalalala" when someone who is overweight and not doing anything about it tries to give me weightloss advice....I even do that to skinny people who try to lecture me. They act like "poof" one day I was fat and I've NEVER done anything about it before resorting to surgery. Anyone that knows me, knows what I've done and anyone that knows you .... should respect your decision and know the attempts you have made. Support me or shut up, that's my opinion anymore

Kayla, when I came to the decision to have my lap band surgery, it was because I finally decided "for me" that it was my best option. I did it for myself, first and foremost, and for my family and friends after the fact. But "I" was first in line. And I have never been so glad I did something so good for me. My family and friends are thrilled with the changes so far, but nobody is more pleased than I am. My only regret was that I didn't have this done years ago. At 57 years of age, I've lost my 30s and 40s and most of my 50s decades to being overweight. It was progressively getting worse, it negatively affected everything I did every day, and I finally decided I'd had enough. Ask yourself where you'll be in 20 or 30 years if you don't have the surgery you know you want to have.

Changes come from all sides, and it's way more than just weight loss. Since my surgeon and I started monitoring my weight five and a half months ago, I've lost 65 pounds. I've lost almost 50 pounds since my surgery in December. I still have a lot more to lose, but I'm well on my way. I've had three fills, and am still learning how to balance what I eat against what it means to live with a band. But I'm getting things sorted out, and I'm absolutely delighted. Every day is filled with little victories: I can bend over and tie my shoes. I can cross my legs without it hurting my hip joints. I can stand up for more than a few minutes without my outer thighs going to sleep from pinched nerves. I've gone down several pants and shirt sizes, and I'm like a kid in a candy store when I walk through a normal-sized clothing store, and know I can find something on the regular racks that fits me properly. No more mail-ordering fat guy clothes, or shopping at stores that make tents for Omar. I fit in a restaurant seat without crushing my stomach against the table top. I can drive my friend's sports car and actually fit in the seat! I'm excited about being able to do my job these days without the side effects of obesity. My doctor is happy, my family and friends are happy, and I'm beyond happy that I did this.

If you do decide to have surgery, ask your good friend to be there for you, and not work against you. Tell her you value her friendship, but that this is a decision you need to make for yourself. She no doubt wants to help you, and thinks her "weight loss method of the day" is the right thing to do. Tell her this is something you want to try doing for yourself, and let's see how it goes. If she is truly a friend, she'll close her mouth and support you. And who knows - once the surgery proves successful for you, maybe she'll find a new way to lose weight, too.

Best of luck with whatever you decide!

Dave

I've used that "So how's that working for you?" on my friend who is trying to tell me that I can do this on my own and do it "naturally." She continues to tell me about a family member who had a band done 8 or 10 years ago and has regained most of her weight. Weight Loss advice from my friend who is overweight and can't get a knee replacement unless she loses weight??? Theres the pot calling the kettle. I do like the "You can't talk the talk unless you walk the walk." Perfect! I keep getting told if I just set my mind to it I can do it w/o surgery.....get your mind set and get out of mine! I have just learned to plug my ears and say "lalalalalalala" when someone who is overweight and not doing anything about it tries to give me weightloss advice....I even do that to skinny people who try to lecture me. They act like "poof" one day I was fat and I've NEVER done anything about it before resorting to surgery. Anyone that knows me, knows what I've done and anyone that knows you .... should respect your decision and know the attempts you have made. Support me or shut up, that's my opinion anymore

Let me give you some strait upright advice. I have 2 artificial knees, a old version of the Lap Band , (4cc) and I had some problems with a surgeon for 3 years I couldn't get it fixed. Well I got Ins., and the truth was that there was no problem at all, and I am glad to be starting all over again. I was 306, today at my PCF, I was 287 after a couple of weeks. I'll take that for starts..... Get a good surgeon, and one that is good in follow up care, that's very important. I was filled a little snug, but that's o.k. (NOT IN THE RED ZONE) so I have no appetite driving me crazy, and 4 oz. rite to the T and I am full.

My knee Doc told me, when you lose 100 lbs. then come see me. He never thought I would do it. Now this spring,, I will be out doing some walking. Can't go to far, Don't want to where these knees out. But I still will walk.

Your friend is wright, they won't touch her unless she loses weight. ..... So you should tell her to jump on the band wagon. That's the Lap Band Wagon.

Take Care, Shirley.

I haven't told anyone except my husband, one co-worker, and parents of my decision to have the band. I am nervous and excited at the same time but I feel like I just have to do it. I don't think about what I will miss eating. I think that I can eat a bite of anything. It's about the portion size and control. That's that way that I am looking at it. No one that I have ever talked to that has had the band has regretted it. So I am going for it.

All of these responses are everything that I need to hear. I have read & re-read all of them lol! So, since the day that I wrote the original post I have actually talked to my friend about how I feel! I'm not the confronting type, so I just gave her a general idea of how I felt after the convo. She was upset, but got over it. She says she supports me 100% and is glad that I'm doing this for myself. I feel better to get it out & that we understand each other, but I'm still limiting our talk time for awhile lol!!!

There were a lot of things that stuck out to me in your responses; some things that may even stick with me for a looong time. One of them being that bread is an addicition! I never really thought about it, but I'm thinking that it really is!! If it really is an addiction, then I cannot wait to break the habit. I can't wait to not crave bread. LOL!!!

It makes me really happy to read about everyones success. While I don't have diabetes or anything, my last blood test did show my thyroid to be just a little bit off. My pcp didn't want to put me on any meds yet since it's a life long thing, so he's just monitoring it for now. My first and foremost goal is to get that under control, hopefully.

Thanks again for all of your help I am confident that I'm making the right decision. No regrets!!!

All of these responses are everything that I need to hear. I have read & re-read all of them lol! So, since the day that I wrote the original post I have actually talked to my friend about how I feel! I'm not the confronting type, so I just gave her a general idea of how I felt after the convo. She was upset, but got over it. She says she supports me 100% and is glad that I'm doing this for myself. I feel better to get it out & that we understand each other, but I'm still limiting our talk time for awhile lol!!!

There were a lot of things that stuck out to me in your responses; some things that may even stick with me for a looong time. One of them being that bread is an addicition! I never really thought about it, but I'm thinking that it really is!! If it really is an addiction, then I cannot wait to break the habit. I can't wait to not crave bread. LOL!!!

It makes me really happy to read about everyones success. While I don't have diabetes or anything, my last blood test did show my thyroid to be just a little bit off. My pcp didn't want to put me on any meds yet since it's a life long thing, so he's just monitoring it for now. My first and foremost goal is to get that under control, hopefully.

Thanks again for all of your help I am confident that I'm making the right decision. No regrets!!!

Dr. Marsden and the surgical staff will take very good care of you! Just as long as you are doing this for you, you are making the right decision.

I'm scheduled for April fools day, 2011. Scary. I really like the "support me or shut up". I have a friend that does not support me. I was shocked to learn she was so opposed to it. It is a decision I made because I want help, not because I am weak. I have lost plenty of lbs, but they always found their way back with buddies. I am determined to take control and get my healthy life back. I used to roller blade and run....I am so looking forward to being able to do those things again.

It takes nerve to change your life and get banded, but I think anyone who had the determination to take this step will be able to make it. I'm still a little scared, but I know I can do it.

I've used that "So how's that working for you?" on my friend who is trying to tell me that I can do this on my own and do it "naturally." She continues to tell me about a family member who had a band done 8 or 10 years ago and has regained most of her weight. Weightloss advice from my friend who is overweight and can't get a knee replacement unless she loses weight??? Theres the pot calling the kettle. I do like the "You can't talk the talk unless you walk the walk." Perfect! I keep getting told if I just set my mind to it I can do it w/o surgery.....get your mind set and get out of mine! I have just learned to plug my ears and say "lalalalalalala" when someone who is overweight and not doing anything about it tries to give me weightloss advice....I even do that to skinny people who try to lecture me. They act like "poof" one day I was fat and I've NEVER done anything about it before resorting to surgery. Anyone that knows me, knows what I've done and anyone that knows you .... should respect your decision and know the attempts you have made. Support me or shut up, that's my opinion anymore

All these posts are great! I too was going through "cold feet" with my surgery date scheduled 3/28/11. HOWEVER, reading the posts really reaffirmed what I already knew...I need this for me! I've done so much research and put so much work into the process to turn back now. And I can't forget that my daughter is the main reason why I'm doing this. She is my motivation, and I will not allow myself to back down now! So there! Take that anxiety and fear!

Now, time for some zzzz's. Sometimes we read too much...lol

You go for it ! You will find it only helps. I went to my Family Doc, and got weighed, and dropped 19lbs. for starts. looked at that scale and thought YES ! ! ! I'LL TAKE THAT FOR STARTS... Of course I expect to see more come of. But ! ! ! All in time, that's the key.

Good Health to you, Shirley.

Awesome Shirley! Glad to see that turtle is taking off!

Kayla, when I came to the decision to have my lap band surgery, it was because I finally decided "for me" that it was my best option. I did it for myself, first and foremost, and for my family and friends after the fact. But "I" was first in line. And I have never been so glad I did something so good for me. My family and friends are thrilled with the changes so far, but nobody is more pleased than I am. My only regret was that I didn't have this done years ago. At 57 years of age, I've lost my 30s and 40s and most of my 50s decades to being overweight. It was progressively getting worse, it negatively affected everything I did every day, and I finally decided I'd had enough. Ask yourself where you'll be in 20 or 30 years if you don't have the surgery you know you want to have.

Changes come from all sides, and it's way more than just weight loss. Since my surgeon and I started monitoring my weight five and a half months ago, I've lost 65 pounds. I've lost almost 50 pounds since my surgery in December. I still have a lot more to lose, but I'm well on my way. I've had three fills, and am still learning how to balance what I eat against what it means to live with a band. But I'm getting things sorted out, and I'm absolutely delighted. Every day is filled with little victories: I can bend over and tie my shoes. I can cross my legs without it hurting my hip joints. I can stand up for more than a few minutes without my outer thighs going to sleep from pinched nerves. I've gone down several pants and shirt sizes, and I'm like a kid in a candy store when I walk through a normal-sized clothing store, and know I can find something on the regular racks that fits me properly. No more mail-ordering fat guy clothes, or shopping at stores that make tents for Omar. I fit in a restaurant seat without crushing my stomach against the table top. I can drive my friend's sports car and actually fit in the seat! I'm excited about being able to do my job these days without the side effects of obesity. My doctor is happy, my family and friends are happy, and I'm beyond happy that I did this.

If you do decide to have surgery, ask your good friend to be there for you, and not work against you. Tell her you value her friendship, but that this is a decision you need to make for yourself. She no doubt wants to help you, and thinks her "weight loss method of the day" is the right thing to do. Tell her this is something you want to try doing for yourself, and let's see how it goes. If she is truly a friend, she'll close her mouth and support you. And who knows - once the surgery proves successful for you, maybe she'll find a new way to lose weight, too.

Best of luck with whatever you decide!

Dave

WOW ! ! ! All of what he said and more..... I'm 56, and Heavy all my life. I have shot both knees do to this fat "weight" is to kind of a word for my situation..So both knees are TITANIUM. I have to start all over for weight loss do to a Dr. paperwork mistake??????? Anyway there id nothing wrong with my band, it's in great shape. Even though I lost over 120lbs. I gained most of it back, got a fill 3 weeks ago today, and to my knowledge I lost 19 lbs already. I am glad to be doing this 1lb at a time, I know it will come off.

Do yourself a favor, don't ruin your knees, or any part of your body because of the weight. Let it come off, and just take it one day at a time.

There are all kinds of people that will help you on this site, some are better then the Dr.'s staff... Were living it, and to them it's a job. Give this some thought.

Awesome Shirley! Glad to see that turtle is taking off!

YEAGH ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

After doing ALOT of research, I have found that reading all of the various opinions in this forum can be very helpful! You definately need to look at both the "problem" posts and the "success" posts. I am definately with one of the earlier posters that said that the band makes them not want bread because it is painful to eat too much! EVERYTHING IN MODERATION! My doctor also suggested working with Overeaters Anonymous or a Psychologist to really be able to cope with the food addictions......the addiction will still be there, even after the band!

Good luck to you! I can say that, even after only 2 weeks, it was definately worth the pain, trouble and all the money (self pay patient!) Don't fall into the trap of weighing yourself every day...that will only discourage you with daily fluctuations! I only weigh monthly.