Hi,

How has someone dealt with no support at home before, during and after their lap band?? I'm in a very unsupportive spot!! 2nd guessing my decision. Please shed some insight!!

-Kim

My boyfriend doesn't want me to have any surgery he's not for it or against it. My sister is the only other person I told. I'm doing this for me and that's all that matters. Maybe in selfish but oh well!

Hi,

How has someone dealt with no support at home before, during and after their lap band?? I'm in a very unsupportive spot!! 2nd guessing my decision. Please shed some insight!!

-Kim

My boyfriend doesn't want me to have any surgery he's not for it or against it. My sister is the only other person I told. I'm doing this for me and that's all that matters. Maybe in selfish but oh well!

I can relate. Hubby is ok with the surgery but my mom and dad are not. I have not told anyone else. I know nobody matters but me but support would be nice.

-Kim

Please don't give in do this for your self. You do got support .from people like me. Im getting banded On Jan 20th. And yes my husband is there for me. But the people on this sight give me hope.And I hope that I m help them. My prayers are with you.

Hi,

How has someone dealt with no support at home before, during and after their lap band?? I'm in a very unsupportive spot!! 2nd guessing my decision. Please shed some insight!!

-Kim

Hi Kim,

I'm sorry you do not have support at home , to get through this process and new lifestyle support is a necessity. That's the main reason this website is here, we are all in the same shoes, although some of us have more support than others. Remember, the decision to change Yourself and Your life, is Yours and Yours alone, nobody elses. I know it's difficult to do this, or anything when you are getting negative comments or energy from the ones you love and trust the most.

I find most people that have said negative things to me are either uneducated about what exactly the lap band does, or they were my "enablers", and my "fat buddies" that don't want to be left behind. It's mostly because they aren't ready for change, we are creatures of habit, and some of us get a wake up call before others. And sometimes the negative things come from people who see being 20 pounds over their ideal weight as the end of the world and really have no idea what it's like to REALLY be fat, so they judge us for not being able to do it ourselves. Most people have no clue what it's like to feel hopeless and trapped in a big body every single day.

If this is something you want, I'd suggest educating them on the positive things the band can bring. Take them to a seminar or your doctor appointments.. Get them involed, let them know this is something You want. If they are your friends or family and love you, they will take the time to put what ever pre conceived notions about it aside and open their minds a little. But if not, it's still ultimately your choice to do it or not to.

Good luck to you, and remember this is about You, not them.

Kim, I hope you can continue to find your support here and know that it is important to do this for you! Victoria has sound advice about educating your friends and family.

I have been fortunate to have the support of family and closest friend. I have not felt comfortable telling anyone else about this though, because of how judgemental people can be that really don't know how it feels to have this problem. I am watching this topic for any others with sage words of advise....

Hi,

How has someone dealt with no support at home before, during and after their lap band?? I'm in a very unsupportive spot!! 2nd guessing my decision. Please shed some insight!!

-Kim

Hi Kim,

I am so sorry about your situation. I applaud you for taking a major step to better yourself. This will make you a better wife, mom, sister, daughter, and/or friend. As others have said, some people are just unwilling to accept change...and let's face it, WLS is a major life change. It is a change that affects your family, your friends, and co-workers. Your family, in particular, get to see the ins and outs of the changes that you're making. You are changing the way you eat, perhaps changing the way they eat. And they may not like it or be ready for it.

To help your family understand, like Victoria said, educate them. Maybe leave some of the brochures around, or try to find out what their objections are.

The most important thing is to stay plugged into this site. I have made some wonderful friends through this site--people I still keep in contact with. When you are down and discouraged, trust and believe that someone on this site has been there or is there at the moment. Just reach out and keep posting. Someone is always on here to help out. And make sure you post your victories and positive stories, too. You never know who you may be encouraging!

I am getting banded 1/28 but the road to this point was not easy so I understand completely....

when I first told my mom she yelled at me saying I was being selfish by doing this and that I just need to try again on my own, well if I had been successful in the past I would not have come to this decision would I.She even went to her own doctor trying to get info from him on why I shouldn't have this surgery and well that backfired b/c he was all for it.... I told her if she thought I was being selfish then so was she by not realizing i have a problem and need help and that either way I am doing it for myself not her.

Then there was my husband....lol.... who also needs to lose at least 50 or so as well. I told him that there can't be anymore ice cream, Cookies etc. in the house after wards until I get things under control.... his answer....lol.... why?? I am not the one getting the surgery.... NICE Right! So I took him to a support seminar and let him listen to the experts and all the ppl who have already had success. He got to see for himself what a positive influence this was going to be for MY life and has kinda come around but I still am not expecting a lot from him in the beginning. I am hoping that once I start losing weight that he will get that macho man feeling of " I am not going to let her out do me" and maybe start losing weight himself.

Then there is my bff across the street, we have both struggled with our weight for over 16 years, in the past 3 yrs she successfully lost over 70 lbs. on her own but recently has had an issue with starting to gain some back again. She will not talk to me about my surgery, when I try to bring it up she is quick to change the subject.... I can hear the resentment in her voice.

The ppl around you don't want you to change b/c they are scared they might get left behind or you will not be the same person anymore. Its like someone said in a previous post.... think about what made you get to the point of making this decision and how unhappy you are in your current situation....do it for yourself, once they see the changes and how happy you are they will get on board. I AM NOT GOING TO LET OTHERS CHOOSE MY FUTURE FOR ME.

I know deep down in my heart this is my only chance to lose the weight I need to be happy and healthy. And yes this site helps tremendously..... the support is amazing!!!! We are hear for you!!!!

I agree with what everyone else has said. I think over time you will get better support from those close to you. When they see 50, 60, 70 pounds come off and see you looking and feeling better they will think, "hey, I guess that thing really does work."

I know over the years I have done what many women do ........ always put other people's needs first. From kids and spouses to even our own parents. We put off doing things for ourselves to save money. Well, at some point in life you need to do something for yourself. This surgery was all about me! Me Me Me!

I am so happy I did it!!!! Best wishes to you. The support just may be a little delayed. Hang in there and do something for you! You You You!

Hi Kim,

Thankfully I do have support at home and this is something I have done for myself not everyone else. My parents were not supportive when I first mentioned it, however after seeing the results my 2 cousins got from this surgery they were more open to it. If you cant get any support at home then you can always come here to lapbandtalk, there are so many supportive people in here that can help. Good luck and maybe you will get more support as you get closer to your goal and they all see how much happier you are.

Hi Kim my husband was not onboard at 1st however he went to the surgeon's office with me and got all his questions answered. He's better now, but still unsure. The bottom line is I had to do this for me so wether he was ok with it or not, if was not done for him and he was not paying for it. Try your best to answer any questions that your family has invite them to a seminar or to the consult with you. But at the end of the day make the desicion for you!!!