I haven't posted here in weeks because I've been alternately ill and trying to get set up for the surgery.

I don't know why I'm actually surprised, but I've been denied surgery because ... get this "you're depressed." Duh! Ya think?

The surgeon I met with, well, it's part of his process to send you for psychological testing before surgery. I *knew* how to beat the test, but didn't know if that would be a good thing to do and so I was honest -- all the way around.

I took the testing last week, then saw the therapist directly after. She was concerned, so I had to go back today and she told me I'm too depressed and have too many issues, and, as a result, she says "people like you" never truly succeeded.

So I'm sh*t out of luck, stuck with this damned body with all its illnesses, and, -- oh yeah -- on the way out of her office, she smiled and said "I hope you have a VERY Merry Christmas!" I just stared at her and left.

I've lost my last chance. My doctors have told me I'm going to die without this surgery. I guess I'd better get my things in order.

Anyway, I wanted to thank everyone for their kind words of advice snd support, and wish I everyone Merry Christmas or Happy Chanukah and Happy New Year .

To all of you approved for the surgery and waiting, or those who have had it done, I wish the very best for you.

Sincerely,

Laura

My doc didn't require a phscy eval - you should try him. www.drwbarker.com

Well honey, we are in the same boat. Found out yesterday that I was denied, but this was my first try. I will just keep trying, but until then I am officially on Low carb again today. I have put a new sign on my fridge. "Face it, your Screwed." No one is out there to help us, so we might as well start helping ourselves. My previous sign may prove to be a bit more helpful. "Adapt and adjust with all the willpower you possess. Precious."

Now I am a #1 LOTR geek. I have a gold ring that I had engraved with a message that is very personal to me (my hubby doesn't even know what it says... 'cause it is in elvish), and everytime I have a problem, I spin that ring until I find a solution. Work, play, food, hubby, kid, whatever it seems to help. (Kind of my own "spin ring"). I have put that on again to help me now too. That may be a wonderful Christmas present to yourself (www.e-weddingbands.com has great prices for a plain band with engraving). It may seem weird, but it works for me.

Low carb seems to cure most everything for me. Acid Reflux, joint pain, PCOS, and roseacea, to name a few. The only thing it does not do is take the weight off. You might think about it. Better than just giving up totally. Misery loves company, so if you want to be pretend bandsters and go high Protein low carb with me put down those Christmas Cookies and join me. Protein first, veggies second, and carbs last.

Don't look to anyone else to pick you up honey. You can do it yourself. My mantra is "Be bold true stouthearted and brave." No one can do that for you, you have to find it within your heart.

I hope you have a very Merry Christmas. Take some time to look into your heart and find the strength you possess. You can do it. Baby steps. Pick yourself up. Get another test. And if it was meant to be get the band.

What?! I can't believe that! That therapist needs a therapist! Maybe weight contributes to depression??? Maybe if you lost weight it would lessen your depression?!?!? I am shocked and appalled! That is truly an outrage. Who is she to judge that you couldn't succeed? It seem rather difficult to fail on the band unless one would purposely try to drink tons of milkshakes and eat tons of chocolate on purpose! That lady is a screwball in my opinion. Please don't give up! Try to find a different physician or try to appeal the decision. That is absolutely rediculous!

Oh My Goodness!! I have to join the 'shocked and amazed' crowd here!!!! One of the reasons I was approved for band surgery is due to DEPRESSION! Depression causes me to eat, eating causes me to gain, gaining causes all kinds of health issues which cause depression which causes me to eat.....Vicious Circle!!! PLEASE go for another opinion! And never ever give up! Even after all the emotional drama I've been through on this journey, I won't give up! There is strength in numbers! You have lots of buddies in band land!

Hugs! And a very Merry Christmas!

I truly appreciate everyone's concerns, but, to be honest, as Mel Gibson and Danny Glover said in the "Lethal Weapon" movies, "I'm gettin' too old for this sh*t." And I really am. I'm guessing I'm a WHOLE lot older than most of you, and given what I've seen in those who have been lapbanded and have their ... I don't know what you call them ... "scales" at the bottom of their messages, tracking their original weight and their goal weight, I've got a LOT more to lose than anyone else I've seen.

I'm just very tired of this. I'm tired of being CONSTANTLY told "did you know you're FAT??" by every doctor around. NO, YOU THINK???

I'm just plain tired. The only thing I wish is that that therapist had waited until AFTER Christmas to give me this news. Great way to screw up a holiday, thank you very much.

The reality is, I *am* depressed -- more than I'd like to be -- and I've tried just about every depression med out there and most of them have severe side-effects my body simply cannot tolerate. My internist is a psychiatrically trained M.D., too, so he knows his depression meds and I TRUST him. We've tried everything and they either don't work or make me even sicker. The only one that doesn't is Prozac and I'm on the highest dosage of that possible.

Also, and no matter WHAT I'd said to that therapist, she didn't truly HEAR me ... I have a number of GENETIC arthritises, NOT remotely related to weight (even though I'm SURE if I were able to get the weight off, it would ease up on the joints and the vetebrae somewhat). However, my rheumatologist has told me for decades that the depression is PART OF the arthritic process.

Beyond that, there are situations in my family life that have NO hope of being "fixed" (because the other people involved do NOT want to get along and never have) and *that* will never change. It hasn't in over 50 years, so I simply do *not* believe that *they* will change now. If anything, in the past year, specifically, they've gotten considerably worse and a HUGE rift has happened in what's left of my family. No one's talking to each other, and *I* am tired of the b.s. from all of them.

What irritates me the most is that in the therapist's waiting room today, there were several people taking the test and discussing the questions, and they ALL were outright saying they were going to LIE about their answers because they realized that by being honest they would NOT be allowed to have the surgery.

I guess I should've lied. My problem? I'm *not* a liar. Karma bites me in the butt every time I lie, so I didn't.

Another mark in the therapist's book against me was when I told her I'd ALWAYS been overweight and some of my earliest memories are of being made fun of because of my weight. WHY that should go *against* me is beyond my understanding.

As to the diets suggested, I appreciate them, but I have a bunch of rather severe food allergies which include wheat Protein, egg protein, milk protein, peanuts, chocolate and fish of all kinds. There's another I'm forgetting at the moment, but all of those combined make eating very difficult for me without becoming violently sick at my stomach. I'd seriously rather have a hand cut off than to have an upset stomach. Been living with *that* all my life - and *it* is part of the arthritic processes from which I suffer as well.

Frankly, I don't get it either -- at least PART of the reason for the depression is BECAUSE of the extra weight. Go figure.

I'm just overwhelmed and stumped at the moment. :::shrug:::

Laura

Depression was one of the comorbidities on the list my surgeon gave me that would make having the surgery even more reasonable and easier to have approved. Her decision makes no sense...is there any way you can see another therapist? I can't believe her attitude, and I'm SO sorry. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers that you can find some way to get your band.

Emily

Hi Firewheel,

No, I have no way of borrowing money and I barely make ends meet with disability payments. I have a house payment and all that goes with it (utilities, taxes, upkeep -- I have to pay someone to come mow and cut the bushes during the summer because I physically can't do it).

The only GOOD thing about working for lawyers all those years was the amount of money they paid me -- they *do* pay you to mentally/emotionally abuse you (I'm *not* joking about that). And they DO pay QUITE well, not to mention the OT rate that I made.

Because of that, when I bought my house in '92, I was able to make triple payments each month and I've managed to get the house paid down by roughly 4/5ths of the original cost on a 40 year mortgage. Still, I owe that 1/5th. I *refuse* to lose my house. I'd have nowhere else to go and no money to pay for anything else anyway. I've got too much invested in this house to give it up.

I had to buy a new car in 2000 (I drove my 11 year old car into the ground driving to work in downtown Dallas -- where I live has no mass transit -- and it was at the point of giving up the ghost), just before I got so sick and my doctor took me off of work. Fortunately, I'd been planning to get OUT of the law field, and so I'd worked a LOT of OT, saved up and paid cash for the car, so I never had car payments.

I don't have prescription drug coverage so ALL my many RXs -- and there are a LOT of 'em -- are out-of-pocket expenses, to the tune of nearly $800/mo. My internist gives me as many samples as he can each month and without those, if and when I have to pay for ALL of my Rxs out-of-pocket, I'll likely have to declare bankruptcy. I do NOT want to do that.

I'd checked into lapbanding *and* gastric bypass WHEN I was working, but my insurance wouldn't pay for it. Period. Not even with many doctors' letters stating that it was medically neccesary to save my life.

The law firm I worked for is paying my disability and they are trying to DENY me the disability, but my doctors, fortunately, have proved, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I *am* disabled, and it's NOT because of my weight. It's because of all my chronic illnesses which I've had since childhood. Weight is actually only a SMALL component of it.

Now Medicare WILL pay for the lapbanding *because* I qualfiy with high blood pressure *and* sleep apnea, but ONLY if approved by doctors/therapists. Since I'm *not* approved, and have been blatantly denied, there's no way.

IF the law firm EVER manages to legally deny my disability, I'll lose those payments *and* Medicare. ONE Procrit shot (and I get them 2-3 weeks out of the month) costs TWICE the amount of ONE of my monthly disability payments. ONE Remicade infusion costs slightly more than ONE-HALF of what my YEARLY pay was when I worked for the last law firm.

Obviously, there's NO way I could continue with those treatments without the disability and Medicare. And without them, I'll die. It's a vicious circle.

I hate to be so negative, but I just don't have the fight in me any longer.

Laura

Depression was one of the comorbidities on the list my surgeon gave me that would make having the surgery even more reasonable and easier to have approved. Her decision makes no sense...is there any way you can see another therapist? I can't believe her attitude, and I'm SO sorry. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers that you can find some way to get your band.

Emily

Emily,

I don't get this either, to be honest. I was told repeatedly by *many* people who had been referred to him that this doctor felt that "even depressed people deserve to have the surgery and be happy." So, I'm just stumped.

Thank you for your prayers. I appreciate them very much.

At this point, I am BEYOND depressed. Gee, I wonder why?

I just wish she'd waited until NEXT week to tell me. Helluva Christmas present, if you ask me. This time last year I was in the hospital with pneumonia all the way through and including New Year's day and a few days after. Christmas year before I was in the hospital with pneumonia.

Christmas, for me, isn't an inspiring or fun time of the year anymore.

NOW I have to go to a Christmas gathering of what's left of my family and PRETEND to be happy.

BAH! HUMBUG!!

Laura

Now I am a #1 LOTR geek. I have a gold ring that I had engraved with a message that is very personal to me (my hubby doesn't even know what it says... 'cause it is in elvish), and everytime I have a problem, I spin that ring until I find a solution. Work, play, food, hubby, kid, whatever it seems to help. (Kind of my own "spin ring"). I have put that on again to help me now too. That may be a wonderful Christmas present to yourself (www.e-weddingbands.com has great prices for a plain band with engraving). It may seem weird, but it works for me.

Poodles,

Thanks for the idea, but I was never into LOTR. On the other hand, I *am* an X-Files fan. Big time.

And that pretty much describes my life -- it *is* an X-File, and this is only another chapter in it.

I'm glad your elvish ring helps you. I *am* passing along that link to a friend who is a BIG LOTR fan, however. She and her hubby might enjoy having one of those rings.

Laura

See anther doctor.

Have you checked the internet for prescription drug assistance? I know that Pfizer and other companies have programs to offer their drugs at an extremely reduced rate, or even free in some cases, depending on your income.

Firewheel,

Geez, I sound like a big ol' "Negative" machine here, but, yes, I've tried that. Even though I'm at "poverty level" of income, I do *not* qualify for any of these programs because I "make too much money". Go figure.

Laura

Hi Laura! Don't give up!!! I agree with ladysplenda - find yourself another doctor. I know you're feeling pretty defeated right now, but I sincerely hope you can find it in yourself to try again. Good luck!

<p>I'm willing to bet I'm probably one of the older people on here getting banded at 60+ and I'm certainly depressed, but I have had my psych eval and was told that depression is a very good reason to have the surgery. It usually turns people's lives around.</p> <p> </p> <p>If you have equity in your home and don't ever want payments think about a reverse mortgage. There are no payments and you never ever have to move. There are a lot of legal and legit ways to obtain money and this is one of them. Talk with people at Wells Fargo or contact them on line. They also will do financing.</p> <p> </p> <p>I'm retired also and certainly not in good health, but I'm hoping this surgery will turn my depression and arthritis around. I would ask to see another shrink. This one doesn't even sound half legit. I was upfront and honest about being depressed and they said that if I wasn't they would have been far more concerned about me. The truth is most heavy people are not happy with themselves or their self-image.</p>

I'm spending Christmas with my dogs and cat. How is that for lonliness. I've lost my mom, dad, husband in an accident, almost lost my daughter, have serious health issues, and hey I'm going to get through this holiday season with the help of this board and a very good friend. There is nothing can stop me from pursuing the band even though right now I'm at a standstill clearing up an ulcer. It WILL come to pass. Don't ever give up on your dreams.

Feel free to PM me anytime if you want to talk. I think we have a lot in common.

You know, reading your further posts is making me even more upset and appalled! (Not at you; at the system!!!) I am floored about this. It's really making me think about my own phsych eval which will be coming up soon (I've already done the cardiologist, the pulmonologist, and the endoscopy. The endoscopy had bad results, with diagnosis of a hiatal hernia and some weird stomach bacteria that causes ulcers, so I am already very unhappy about the fact I have to be on antibiotics for two weeks to get rid of it!).

I am very worried that maybe I too will be denied. I have been depressed in the past, although I'm not now, and am currently on Wellbutrin. I have also had anxiety disorder and obsessive worry in the past. Through medication I am much, much, much better to the point where I would consider myself a happy person. I wonder though if my past will count against me like what if they say "well you have a history of depression and anxiety so it could happen again." What is wrong with these people?

Everyone I know has depression and/or anxiety or has had it in the past!!! It's just part of being human. I am so angry about the fact of how backwards and rediculous it is to be denied a life saving surgery because of depression. And a surgery that could make depression alot better, no less! Sometimes I really wonder what is wrong with our medical system, and with people. It's really scary.

Finally, I wanted to suggest holistic therapy for your depression. Maybe more natural medicines would work better for you. Also, accupuncture works wonders for many if you're willing to persue alternative methods of healing.

Again, I don't think you should give up. I know what you mean about feeling tired and not having the energy for it, but think about the wonderful ways in which your life would change if you get the surgery and let that be your motivator. There is a doctor out there that will do your surgery, I just know it. Maybe one that doesn't require a phsych eval?

Good luck!

The reverse mortgage is a GREAT idea, Dody. That's where you take out a loan against your house and after you die the loan is repaid out of the sale of the house -- or something like that, right? I keep forgetting about that. Thanks!

Yes, you can take out the equity in your home. You never turn over the deed or lose control of your house and you can live in it till the day you die. You and your spouse if you have one. The loan is repaid when the house is sold, and if you leave most of the loan in a line of credit and just use what you need for your surgery you are only paying on that minimal amount. Absolutely no payments for you to add to your already stretched income. It's a great way for older people who have dental and eye glass bills that are not even covered by Medicare. For me it was a wonderful answer and I would suggest it to anyone. I talked it over with the kids and they were absolutely all for it. They want me to be as well as I can be while I am here, and although they all live all around the country and have their own lives, I will now have the resources to visit them and heck once I'm banded maybe visit other places I've only dreamed of going. Since getting this loan the world looks like a much different place to me. My home will keep gaining equity so there will still be money left in it for the kids, but right now I have to do what is best for me and this is it.

There are solutions out there for all problems. If you need to find another shrink then go for it. Depression should be an excellent reason for having the banding. People feel better immediately because they now have a tool to help them and they are not on their own. No wonder they call it "their best friend".

Don't give up your dreams on one denial. Heck so many here have been fighting for the rights for the band forever. You just don't take no for an answer until you have tried everything. Some psychiatrists merely give written exams where you answer questions for about 2 hours (that is what mine did).

Good luck to you and don't give up.