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To date or to wait

Hi - I was just curious if anyone could give me some input.

I am Pre-Band and haven't dated ANYONE for over 5 years. (I have been focusing on raising my daughters who are all in college now)

I've been thinking about dating lately (no one specific in mind) but I am concerned if I date someone before the band and then have the surgery would would be like changing the rules? Also, is it fair to drag someone into that baggage?

Anyhow, just looking for input and different views from other singles.

Thanks!

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If you feel that you are ready to date than I would say go for it. As long as you are upfront (If the relationship gets serious) about the Lapband I don't see how that would be changing the rules. I am kind of in the same boat you are. I am a single mom of a 2 1/2 year old boy. I have not dated since his father and that was before I even knew I was pregnant, so about 3 years.I know I am not ready but that is what's right for you.

  • 1 month later...

JoMi:

I say do what makes you comfortable. I was dating people pre-surgery, but was not seeing anyone seriously. I have decided to put dating aside for a little while to focus on me right now. I will start dating again when I feel I'm ready for that, but that's me. If you feel you are ready now I say go for it.

I never let anything stop me so the band was no different. I had plans for dates around the time I was banded and had to wait until I could est solids to go out.

Before the solids period coffee dates, movies etc were fine.

As for me I never told the guy about my band. It is something I am not comfortable doing.

Just go where the wind takes you. If someone comes along go for it! The band is supposed to help you get healthy, have a good life etc not stop you from doing things :thumbup:

  • 6 months later...

I have not been banded yet but will be here in a few months. I am 24 and have no kids and have not dated in over a year and a half. My feelings are that I do not want to date until I have a handle on my weight situation and understand my band. I do believe that if someone comes along and they seem like the right person I would give it a go but I really don't want to date right now. I feel like there are a lot of stereotypes for bigger girls the worst of which is "bigger girls are easy" and that is an awful horrible thing to say about anyone but it seems like a lot of men believe it. I would rather avoid all that junk altogether if possible. I also feel that in my situation particulary it is unfair to bring all of my problems and struggles into a relationship. But that is just me.

  • 3 months later...

An old thread I know, but hey why not. I agree that if something that if the right person just happens upon you, then yes I'd pursue it. But I'm not actively seeking out a girlfriend or anything like that. I have my eating and exercising down to such a routine that I'd be afraid that adding another person in my life might upset that. I'm waiting until I get myself under control first.

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