I have been fat for over 10 years now. Nowhere near what I was when I had surgery almost a year ago. I have been stuck between 45-50 lbs since Jan. I am very frustrated with myself and thinking that maybe this was a mistake. Although I don't think I would have lost this weight without it. It seems that I sabotage myself from being happy. I have a great day of following eating and calories guidelines and then I pig out on candy before I go to bed. (I don't buy the candy I live with my family.) Or I am doing great with working out and then I stop or fade out. I think the real problem is that I have been this way for so long that it is safe and comfortable even though I hate the way I look. It is a security blanket and I don't know what to do in order to get over that feeling and move on with my weight loss. Anyone out there have any advice? I hope I am not the only one that has done this and hopefully you can get me over this hump.

Alison

You are not alone. It isn't so much as a security blanket for me as I have not always been overweight, but more a fear of failing. If I fail at this then what else is there? How bad must I be to fail with the band? But if I know I cheated or did this or that then I can justify it and say it wasn't really me that failed.

I have been successful at almost everything I have ever tried. I was inthe top of my class in high school, managed to get a bachelors and masters degree while being married with two young kids and working full time. I am the "smart" one in the family. But if I fail at something that seems so easy as losing weight, then what am I?

Thin Ali, you are NOT alone!

That night eating thing is truly my nemesis!

A lot of the time for those of us carrying extra pounds it is about emotions. I know this is certainly true in my case. Eight months before I had my surgery I started seeing an therapist - an obesity specialist - and I continue to see her to this day (although not as frequently as before). She has been invaluable in giving me tools to cope with eating compulsively (i.e., over a feeling, emotion). Now I "think" before I eat something that is not conducive to aiding in my weight loss. Am I always able to stop myself from eating the wrong thing? NO. But, I no longer beat myself up or get depressed over what I've done (and find myself in a cycle of eating more because I am sad/depressed/angry). For a while I did, and my therapist told me to write about it. So, I did. It helped. In essence, I recommend that you see a therapist for a short while. I know that some people don't believe in therapy, but for me it's about getting tools for living my life in a different way. It's about learning how to use tools that I never would have thought of on my own. In the beginning it was even about learning how to "pick up" the tools that I needed to change my life. Think about it, maybe it could help you get on track and stay there.

All the best to you!

~F

Good Morning;

Many motivational speakers speak of sabatage or "Losers Limp". I'll not try any "Pop Psych" here. Probably the best thing for you to do is see your Psych. who you saw originally. You/we all need a boost along the way and the shrink is the best one to assist you. He/she may put you into a support group.

Stay with it and don't be afraid of the New You. :Dancing_biggrin:

Regards

Hal