I know that the band is a tool to lose the weight. I know that we've all lost weight a zillion time and gained it back.

Here's what I want to know. Once we lose the weight, how do you go about being thin? Seriously? Not the eating part. Its the mentality of it. Not the "I feel a void right now but I'm going to go do something else other than eat." I'm talking about, after years of being overweight, how do you think like a thin person? There's a certain invisibility that comes with being overweight. People tend to look through you or avoid you. You think of yourself differently. But how do you hold on to the mentality of a thin, healthy person?

I'm trying to work through that one myself. I'm the lowest I've been since 9th or 10th grade (30 years ago) and I still feel like I'm overweight. It takes looking at a picture to fully realize what I look like - the mirror is a distorted image of me in my mind.

I'm not sure I know how I'm going to feel when I get to the point where I don't want to lose any more weight, because I've NEVER been there. I've never not been on a diet, or wishing I could lose weight, or thinking about going on a diet. Never got to the point that - okay - I'm happy where I'm at and this is where I want to stay. It's hard to imagine not wanting or needing to lose any more weight. So the mental aspect of it is something I need to work on.

That being said, I think I'm doing better now than I was 20 lbs ago. I feel like my mind is starting to catch up with my body. But I don't know if those feelings will ever be resolved.

I'm not thin, but still working through living as a normal sized person. Like you, I took some time to really examine how other people---without eating issues---function. They eat when they're hungry, not on schedule. They eat until they're no longer hungry, not until the food is gone or until they're full. They look forward to visiting friends, not the foods they'll eat. It's a total lifestyle we've created that you need to examine. Until you really spend a lot of time considering behaviors you've spent a life time cultivating, you will never really change your habits. I've spent a lot of time reflecting on how I affect my own life---from owning my issues, acknowledging not only my love for food, but my unnatural compulsive eating behaviors, and working on myself from the inside out. It isn't just the foods we eat....

Hi, I agree with Emjay above. It is a process. Not to be feared but enjoyed. Think of all the time and energy we have spent doing just what you describe: dieting, failing, hating ourselves, thinking of food, etc... Now you have the opportunity to leave that behind and take all that time and energy that are being freed up and make your dreams come true! Write a book, paint a masterpiece, do whatever is on your "if I were thin I would..." list and add some new things. Life is opening up, don't waste a moment!

...take all that time and energy that are being freed up and make your dreams come true! Write a book, paint a masterpiece, do whatever is on your "if I were thin I would..." list and add some new things. Life is opening up, don't waste a moment!

That is wonderful advice. I want to go hiking with my husband without joint pain or being out of breath. I want to ride a horse! I want to play with my nieces. I want to go out in public without constantly being self-conscious about my body. I want to have fun with family and friends. I want to LIVE!!!

I must say even fat I was never invisible that's just me and the way I've always been, But I do understand where your coming from because I was talking with my PCP a couple of weeks ago and he told me that I still have fat mentality when I inquired about this he went on to explain that when talking about myself I still talk about myself as an overweight person and he didn't think I see myself as average. Of coarse I just made a joke out of it and told him I just don't like the sound of average I'll settle for extraordinary. But truth be told when I got home I thought a lot about that and decided it takes a long time to change your mind set. I mean it took me a long time to really except that I was really obese so I'm hoping one day soon I see myself through others eyes and stop defining myself by my weight.

I never felt invisible and I dont really feel any different about myself now than I did before. There's more confidence there before, but whilst I totally defined myself by my weight before, I actually still do now. I can have a fat day over 1 lb.

I guess what I'm saying is there's thin and there's thin. Naturally thin people, you ASSUME, never think about food, dont obsess about their weight, dont define themselves by what the scale says. That aint necessarily the case.

For me personally, I tend to view myself more as "in recovery". I will always have head issues over my weight, I will never be able to eat exactly what I want when I want and not feel some anxiety over it - although I've worked really really hard towards that end which is why I've always refused to diet, do Protein shakes, count protein, fat or carbs, avoid any food etc with the band. Its really helped me to become more normal, but I dont think I'll ever be a "thin" person in the sense you mean. I view my running and exercise and the band as the two tools that allow me a bit of normality because they mean I can pretty much eat as I like. But that doesnt mean I dont plan every day to be better than the last, berate myself for "failures" etc. I wish I could get over that but I dont think I ever will.

And .... over time you get used to your normal thin body and forget what your fat one was like, so you start to get dissatisfied with every little lump and bump, same as you were before.

Sorry, that's not the most positive post, its a bit tiresome to think life will always be like that. But I really view obesity as a disease with many facets and if people suffering other diseases get on and make the most of life, then we can too. Its just one part of us.

but on a more positive note, a lot of the anxiety has left me. I know I can wear whatever I want to any event, when I think of the pain I used to go through when somethign dressy cropped up, I had to go looking about 50, it was just so depressing. I can participate in any event, not that I couldnt, but I can run around in public for example, without rolls of belly flopping out. I'm happy to go to the beach, I'm really looking forward to an upcoming holiday etc.

Edited May 19, 201016 yr by Jachut