Back in January I was diagnosed with sleep apnea after falling asleep at the wheel and having a mini wreck in my car. Doctor had me do two nights of sleep test, anyway I had an apneaic event 90 times an hour!

I am 25 year old guy, 5'10'', 400lb. I was referred to a lap band specialist. Tuesday I start my first of three visits with the nutritionist. If all goes well, should have the lap band done in June/July.

I am going through the motions of wanting this done and not wanting it done. I had success with Weight Watchers 4-5 years ago and lost over 75lbs, but gained 150 in its place. Lot of frustration that I didn't keep the weight off. I definitely think it was emotional related.

I want to loose my weight naturally again, but I am having hard time motivating myself to go back to Weight Watchers or try something else. I know the band is a tool, but I don't want to do it and gain weight back. Is that even possible?

What finally decided me to get banded was that I watched a documentary on obesity and heard the statistic that less than 4% of obese people who lose weight will keep it off. After all my yo-yo-ing I just knew that I would never be in that small percent.

Once I made the decision, one of the biggest things I had to deal with was a certain amount of mourning for the change in my relationship to food that I was going to encounter. Once I was banded, however, I was so occupied with working the thing that I lost that sense of "loss".

Welcome and good luck with your decision.

Devana,

So...how did you deal with the mourning of food and your relationship with it? I am getting very close to my banding, and I am really struggling with the mental aspect of the surgery. I am so scared of failing with yet another weight loss "tool".

I can't say there was any one thing I did. I think maybe acknowleging it was a big help. I mean, I really had no idea how attached I was to overeating until I was faced with not being able to do it. Once I had the band, I had the sense of excitement and challenge of eating differently, so I think my mourning happened before the fact.

I think it's really important to get into some kind of support group. I don't have that and I think I would benefit from having a contrast to the "Why don't you just eat less" crowd.

When's your date?

I remember before I had the band I went through all of the same emotions, and the same yo-yo dieting as you did. I lost over 100lbs with the Phen/Fen craze in the 90's, and gained it all back and then some. Numerous other attempts were futal. Earlier last year I said to myself "I am going to try once again and if I can't do it, I am going for the band". Of course, it didn't happen.

I remember counting down the days until I got the band, feeling that "I'll never be able to eat this or that again", many last suppers. All the anticipation of the band and its limitations were so much greater than the actual band, in my experience anyway!

Sure, there are things that I can't eat, lots of bread for example, but since I don't get the same positive feelings from it that I used to it doesn't appeal to me as much. I can have "a little" bread, and that is fine and I don't desire more. I find that I can have "a little" of everything!

The greatest change for me is that I feel in control. I am no longer eating what the diet says I could eat and feel like "ok, I ate that, I'm still hungry, now what can I eat?". I don't gorge myself on salads trying to feel full. In fact, I rarely eat salads, lettuce doesn't go down that well. BUT I can eat other vegetables just fine. The good part of that is I liked a lot of salad dressing on my BIG salad, now I don't get those calories!!

By far, it was the best thing I've ever done.. I am now able to exercise more and those endorphins make me feel good and give me energy. I used to get SO TIRED, now I am wide awake and can get so much more done. I can only imagine how good I will feel when I get close to goal. I still have more than half way to go!

I wish they had this surgery when I was 25... if I knew then what I know now and it was available I would do it in a heartbeat.

As Devana said, only 4-5% of the morbidly obese can ever keep the weight off, those odds are definitely against us.

Good luck.. you will find a lot of support and information here for your entire journey!!

Heres what to remember, we've all been where your at. Its surgery and the thought of surgery is very scary. You say you have sleep apnea(and it sounds like you have a serious case of sleep apnea like I do), this isnt something to be overlooked. I thought of reasons to back out of surgery(I had the same feelings you do)but I posted on here about my second thoughts because I thought I was fairly healthy, only having high blood pressure and serious sleep apnea which where both controlled. Btrieger gave me a wakeup call by telling me "If youre obese, high BP, and sleep apnea, your not fairly healthy(not sure if Im spelling fairly correctly, nothing is looking right to me today). I thought about what he said and it made sense. The thing you have on your side is age, Im 38. I had my surgery on March 10th and as of this past Friday Ive lost 43# and am off my bp meds and aspirin(the only meds I was on). I feel so much healthier. I used to live(if you can call it that)my life wondering when I was going to have a heart attack, or become diabetic etc. I can tell you, I wish I had this opportunity when I was 25, I always thought in my mind,"Im going to join a gym and exercise and lose weight". I always made excuses as to why "I will start tomorrow". And when I did start, It lasted maybe a week or 2. Your 25 and you weigh 400#, think about why, Im sure youve tried "diets"and evidently they havent worked for you(just like the rest of us). This lapband thing has been working very well for me, I finally feel healthy for the first time since Ive been married(30 years, 20, I cant remember, just kidding, 10 years). Take my advice for what its worth, do it now so your not going through the same thing in 5 or ten years. The surgery was a breeze, it was actually the easy part, there really hasnt been any real difficulty so far(keep in mind Im very new at this). Im not trying to sway you either way, you have to be ready for whatever decision you make. All Im saying is I would do it again in a heartbeat!!!

Just another bit of info. While doing my 6 month preop, my surgeon told the group that alot of obese people cant lose weight, or can lose but not keep it off because your body is so used to you at this weight that it basically fights against weightloss, basically sabotageing you. It has something to do with the chemical makeup of the body.