I'm really thinking of keeping things private. Of course my husband would know, but I don't want anyone else to know. I don't even want to tell my kids. Well my youngest would be too young anyway, but my oldest would tell the world. I don't know if I could really pull that off (because I'm really an open book). But did anyone keep things private? If so, how?

For those who decided to tell. How did you go about stating things? I just don't want to deal with people just telling me to stop eating, or try such and such a diet.

i told and really i guess i wish i hadnt. people ask me all the time how much i have lost and i get sick of it! when i lose a chunk i'll tell ya (if i think you should know) the band sometimes has a slower start with the loss and having people eyeing you and monitoring your food is not fun.

you could tell your oldest you are having gallbladder removed. (???)

i would have still told my friends and family but not my co0workers (although my bosses wife is who got me looking into WLS she lost 200 lbs with gastric bypass)

do what you feel is right- you will be the one dealing with it!

I've told everyone/anyone (big surprise! lol)

At 42, I don't think I know anyone among my friends, family or acquaintances who hasn't experienced my dieting, so I'm sure it would never occur to any of them to recommend that to me.

For those who don't understand I try to explain to them that I think some people are just built differently - some people can't tolerate sugar (diabetes), some people never feel full (obesity). Of course, I always admit to the emotional part of it for me, as well. I have not encountered any negative responses, and I do not feel as though I am being "watched" - for once in my life! lol

This is a very personal thing, though, and I read many, many posts from people who do not intend to tell anyone, and many, many people who never have told anyone.

Just my little thoughts on the subject... I told only my family and best friends. And I'm so glad I didn't tell any others because I haven't been doing to well and I hate having to explain "why" after lots of money and 4months I still have not lost anything. It's hard for them to understand that fills play a big part in my success. I haven't had a good fill yet -- I've had 2 fills. I really think the 3rd one is going to be it though and I will get that one in December. I know it's a slow process but geez...

People at work would be the worst so I told no one there. They love to gossip and scrutinize. When I went for my surgery some knew I was going to Mexico, but it was just for 'Fun.' The recovery time is so fast that I was back at work after a week. I took the whole week off only because I was with my sister who had a hysterectomy and the lapband surgery at once and couldn't leave the city for at least 4-5 days. I could have been back 3 days after.

So, I guess the bottom line is, if you can trust people or feel comfortable and don't care if they ask you why or when then talk away. I might say something when I reach my goal... but then again.

Semi-private. Wish I had told fewer. Family knew, no one else did. Really, the people who know and love me, drive me nuts. "Well, we want to eat out, but where can Sue go?" And, "What about Thanksgiving! What can Sue eat?" And it never stops.

But you know, until you learn what to eat and how to eat, you're going to look weird to others. (Like when the saliva-thing starts.) So...you may have a few people thinking you're pregnant or something.

I vote to tell almost nobody.

Sue

I am happy so far with who I have told, my family, best friends, and co-workers (I have a very small work group and they all knew I had my gallbladder out last November).

I have experienced nothing but support from all of them. Co-workers have called to check up on me and see how I'm recovering and not once have they asked how much I've lost, although I gleefully told them I'm down 21lbs at two weeks out no fill!

My family has been great. My sister and I did some shopping the other day and went out to lunch for some fab chicken dumpling Soup.

I do not regret telling those I have, for friends I haven't chose to tell I'm glad as well as they would be critical of me.

It is such a personal decision, my best friend is trying to get approved and only I, her husband, and my family know. She hasn't even told her family.

To each their own. That is the beauty of this marvelous little buddy. We all choose how to eat, how much fill we need to find our sweet spot, and who we want to know. It is truly adjustible!

I went semi-private as well. Told my family and very close friends. I did not tell my co-workers....I am a nurse. Those in the medical profession are no different in their opinions regarding WLS. I told everyone I was having an abdominal hernia repair...just in case I eventually need to have my gallbladder out... to explain my 2 weeks away from work. I needed all of those two weeks to be ready to go back to work as well. If I had a desk job, I could have been back much sooner. Everyone at work just thinks I have made diet changes and started going to the gym.... Oh....if it were only that easy!

Joann

Dr. Valin 07/18/03

307/248/170

I told family only, and a few of my closest friends. It is frusterating for people to ask you "how much have you lost" or "why haven't you lost anything in a month?". People aren't educated about the band and think it should be a quick loss. Also, people have said to me "Well I'd just stop eating before I'd let them cut me open". They think it's as easy as that.....just stop eating! Most people don't understand, so my opinion would be to tell as few as possible.

Joann,

I am a nurse also. I was going to tell the people at work that I was having gall bladder surgery but after reading your post (you make a good point about maybe needing it done later)I'm going to use the hernia excuse also!

I don't plan to tell anyone except my husband, mother and sister (my sister just had rny). My inlaws are all thin and already judge me because I have trouble loosing weight. I don't need them thinking "can you believe she had to have surgery to loose weight". I'm also not going to tell my best friend of 25 years! I tried to feel her out first...to find out where she stood on the WLS issue (she's obese too) and her opinion is "I cant believe people do that to themsleves"! So, I won't tell her either. I hate keeping secrets, but I have to do what's best for me!

I too am a person that is an "open book" so keeping this secret isn't going to be easy. The hardest part will be when I will be on the liquid phase...I guess I'll just say it's a new diet I'm trying!

Marsha

Only my immediate family and two of my best friends know so far.

However, I intend to come "out of the closet" to just about everyone after I lose at least 50% of my excess weight (so that I don't feel scrutinized). There is nothing to be ashamed about with WLS, and maybe others can be helped by my experiences.

I would never go up to someone and say, "YOU need to consider the lap-band" because that would be really rude...but I would like to be able to talk about my experiences so that people might be inspired to do their own research on the band. The band is a great choice that isn't used as much as it should be, so I want to spread the word.

Quarkergirl. That is my thinking exactly. Once I reach a point I'd likely spill the Beans, but beforehand I'd rather not. Of course minds change but my thoughts are similar to yours.

Thank you everyone for your responses.

I wish I hadn't told anyone except close family and friends. I did wait until AFTER surgery to tell a few select co-workers, but now that word has "gotten out" I just assume people know and if they act surprised, I fill them in. I wish I hadn't told anyone because my weight loss has been insiginificant and I am afraid I am being judged about what I eat and what I "haven't lost" considering that I went through risky surgery and paid some good dollars. I think I am being overly paranoid about this, because there are some sincere people at work who really do care.

I told a few people at work, now i dont know who they have told, but i feel people looking at me and wondering....also the ones i have told ask me everytime i see them "how much now?"....it is kind of a nusissance. I didnt tell my inlaws yet, because they were against it when i brought it up, but i may tell them in about 1 year. If an overweight person REALLY wanted to know then i would confide in them(to offer hope to others), but the thin ones, no way. They want to talk about their latest "southbeach diet" or something. I have never been happy to have someone tell me that i am looking thinner, because in the past, it was always temporary...and i always had SO much more to go, and never got there.

I told and still do tell everyone. People are not stupid and most these days know about the surgery and know that once you've lost a signigicant amount of weight that something had to happen. Especially those people you are close to and know that for years you've not been able to do anything about your weight and now all the sudden your 50-75-100lbs lighter. I am sure you know best how the people you are around will react. I knew I could depend on family and friends to support me. And they do just that and are very excited for me. I do get the, "How much have you lost so far?" all the time but I love to tell people that I have lost 75lbs and I am still losing. I never get tired of saying it. If someone I haven't seen for a while asks how I am losing it I tell the truth. Lap-Band, eating right, exercise and a lot of hard work. I know there are sceptics and people who think you have taken the easy way out but do you really care what those people think???? I don't! Anyway, I think you have to decide what is right for you. I don't have an opinion either way. I respect everupme. those who decide not to tell and those who do tell, just for doing something about their weight problem. Good luck with your decision and I am sure whatever you decide to do will be the right thing. Just be careful about who you chose to tell if you don't want anyone knowing. Some people can't keep secrets.

Best Wishes!

Once I decided to have surgery, I told everyone. I made my decision with the help of my mom, dad, brother, and sister. They came to the seminars and meetings with me (well, at least two of them at a time!). EVERYONE I have talked to has been nothing but supportive. There hasn't been a negative word spoken about lapband surgery. Everyone was so glad to hear I wasn't having the bypass and that the band seemed like such a better option.

I decided to tell people for a few reasons. Everyone can see that I struggle with my weight, and I know they are concerned. I figured- why not tell them so they can be happy that I'm being proactive and taking care of myself. I also told people because I was tired of pretending I wasn't fat. I don't want to be in denial anymore- about my weight or anything else in life. I also told people because I'm tired of being alone in this battle. I've been amazed at how many people have asked how I'm feeling, etc. and have not asked how much weight I've lost. I have needed that on a few really bad days.

One thing that has surprised me is that it seems that everyone battles their weight. I've told skinny people, and they are envious I've got something to help me... I also am surprised by some people's reaction to my loosing weight now. I feel bad telling anyone with a problem with their weight how much I've lost (it's only 14 pounds in a month, but heck, it took me three months on WW to do that!!). I have so much more sympathy for the weight struggle than I did before- which is interesting. I guess I feel like I have a secret weapon and I wish I could hand them out to everyone who battles their weight.

If you do tell someone and they are negative, remember that it's about them- and not you.

That's my story...

megan

I used vacation time at work so I did not have to tell them and only told my husband and two teenage children. I asked my children to only say I had surgery if they felt the need to say anything at all and that it was a private thing if anyone pushed. I knew I would be watched and talked about at work if they knew and I did not feel my family (mother and siblings as well as extended family) would be very supportive. I knew that my husband would be supportive and my children though they had reservations have been very supportive as well. I think I would only tell those who I knew would respect your privacy and those who you feel would be supportive. For me I quit telling people when I was dieting a long time ago because I kept failing I think that was also a factor. I was afraid that if it did not work, I would be judged for my decision. Those who knew I had surgery were just told I was having female problems.