I am just curious as to how many of us became single/divorced after being banded. Im also curious as to why.... Was it a bad relationship and you just got the courage to get out? Was it that your self asteem was higher than normal and you were able to say see ya? Was it you wanted to broaden your horizons...see the "greener" grass on the other side of the fence? If anyone would like to share their experience with me, I would appreciate it. If you dont want to post on a public board thats understandable too, so feel free to PM me....

Thank you in advance....

Thanks Vines and Kare for the nice words.

I will put much thought into all this. It is interesting to hear that this is not a situation that I alone have been through.

GADS, I love this board.

I deleted it, so I can't put it back up, but your responses make the point for me very well.

Geez, I can't have you all thinking I'm nice, now. I'll lose my reputation as a Jack A$$.

I will put much thought into all this. It is interesting to hear that this is not a situation that I alone have been through.

I deleted it, so I can't put it back up, but your responses make the point for me very well.

Geez, I can't have you all thinking I'm nice, now. I'll lose my reputation as a Jack A$$.

Well, I don't know about "nice", but it was extremely impressive to see a man be brave enough to talk about these issues. (IMHO) AND if you're going to PM Vines you have to promise to make it a conference PM with me too.

Of course some things are too private to put up-- but I don't draw the line at much because I think the more we share our hearts and guts (and hey we've seen a lot of guts here LITERALLY!) the more we all learn and grow.

Impressive is good. I'll take that!

Well I to am going through a painful divorce. Mine actually started before I had my surg. I did not even tell him I was having this done and was not going to but the anes. called the house when he was here and that is how he found out. I was not happy about that!!

I found out a couple of years ago that he had been cheating on me for almost our entire marriage. We were working things out, (or at least that was what I thought we were doing) I was working on it he was working on a new girlfriend....

My december of last year:

Dec 4th- turned 40

Dec 9th he told me he was leaving

Dec 12 told kids

Dec 18 rented an aparment taht we shared- 1 week there, one at the house so the kids never had to leave home

Dec 24- our 18th anniversary

Dec25-Christmas

Dec 31 got fired from my job

Jan 1 he moved out

And Look!!! I'm alive and kickin 1 year later!! And 53 pounds lighter!!

Porc my band sister, it is hard, I wont lie but it will eventually get better, that is what everyone keeps telling me. Some days I still cry, I can't sleep in our bed so I have been sleeping on the floor of the play room for the past 3 months.

We shared an apartment for 6 months where we would stay 1 week with the kids and then switch, but we no longer do that. and I am glad that is over!!

I will keep you in my prayers and I hope all goes well for you guys, I know this time of year will be difficult also. Just keep hugging your little man and him haow much you love him. I have also found out that the days that I pray for my husband are easier days for me.

Keep smiling!! Someone is bound to smile back

I have also found out that the days that I pray for my husband are easier days for me.

You betcha. Having peace in your heart is the best healer. Ugly words, feelings, plans, pay backs, meanness always leads to more of the same. It's hard to be mad at someone you are praying for. Being mad isn't good for anyone, and certainly not the kids. Kudos to you Christina. You survived quite a December and quite a year since then, I'm suspecting. Hang in there. Thanks for your words of wisdom for our Porclndoll, here.

Well, it seems as though I missed the scoop on Big Paul. Shucks. What about "The Five Love Languages" by Smalley? I think. BP, if you could figure out her "Love Language" you could speak to her better. How does she like to be loved? What speaks love to her? What speaks love to YOU? Just an idea out of the blue since I missed what you deleted

Well, it seems as though I missed the scoop on Big Paul. Shucks. . . . How does she like to be loved? What speaks love to her? What speaks love to YOU? Just an idea out of the blue since I missed what you deleted

Oh, he had a LOT to say, but the jist was that he likes to dress up in a magenta thong with black stilletos and undulate with a rose in his teeth to "Burn Baby Burn" for foreplay but his wife doesn't get off on it. And THEN he said...

Well, I'll let you imagine the rest.

(THAT'LL teach 'em to delete such a gem)

poor Paul!!!

See here's the thing about us girls Pul, you better leave your actual words up next time or we make up our own and call them yours....Right Kare?? You forgot the fish net hose and wonder bra...

Yeah, I heard on another thread there was a leather bustierre with a matching whip involved? For HIM, not her, and there's a link to some company in San Francisco who makes them for big guys. Yeah, when you don't have the whole truth...those rumors run rampant...I can't keep up!! LOL

There is a better life waiting for you on the other end of a bad relationship! I got divorced a few years ago and was devastated to be going through it with small children, big bills, etc....like so many of you. It was a very lonely time. HOWEVER, when I least expected it, I met a wondeful man. No one can describe the difference between a relationship that works and one that doesn't until you have experienced it-but we ALL deserve to be happy!

Oh the pain, the pain...

I'm so damaged. Unfortunately, until I lose this weight, I probably could fill up a bustierre.

What I really wanna know, is who told you all about the whip?

Has my wife been on here? Hell, I give her a safety word. Sure it's hard to say with the gag, but...

I'm just so naughty! I think I need a good spanking.

Oh, No... did I go too far again?

I know how you feel I have a special child also and I get told some of the same things you are describing. My husband tells me I am only worried about myself and he tries to tell me I am neglecting my children (I also have a 17 year old). He is constantly telling me I have changed and I am not the same person he married and nothing I do seems to be the right thing in his eyes. He is my second husband and not the father of my children. My husband is disabled since he had a major heart attack 2 years ago so I work every day, I work at least 50 hours a week if not more and I was working out 5 days a week after work getting home between 6:30 and 7 every evening.(since Hurricane Rita I was working 7 days a week 12 hours a day and didnt have the time to workout anymore but am fixing to start back) Anyway reading your story just hit home alot for me. But I am trying to hang in there because I know that some of his frustrations is that he cannot work and to add more to it we cant live in our house due to the Hurricane so our stress level here lately is up 100%.

Anyway I am glad you are getting out on your own and I know it will work out for you and you will be much happier. Life is too short to live miserable and i say that to my husband all the time and of course that just starts another whole discussion about how I have changed.

Hope you are doing better Doll.

BP - Why did you delete your post??? I have been thinking about it.

It sounded like my husband asking that question.

My Husband is always looking for attention and anytime he gets near me I pull away. It is not that I do not want to get romantic with him I day dream sometimes about all the things we could do but when it comes time I always say I am not in the mood or I am tired (you know the excuses) And here is the reason - I do not feel attractive in my body and I do not want him touching this lump or that roll. How sad Huh

Just maybe that is what she is feeling and with a little help from you she could get past it.. Now I for one feel if my Dh is going to touch me start by holding my hand and not going for other parts of my body too fast. Make believe it is the first date.

Well anyway too find a guy that is sincere is too good to be true and there were alot of good post from you men.

Yeah, I heard on another thread there was a leather bustierre with a matching whip involved? For HIM, not her, and there's a link to some company in San Francisco who makes them for big guys. Yeah, when you don't have the whole truth...those rumors run rampant...I can't keep up!! LOL

Well, my big big DH ordered a custome set of motorcycle chaps... and we are going to San Fransisco in January, I suppose I could almost convince him to wear them buttless. You know, we could stroll the Castro District... You know, I almost posted something that was TMI, and something that only 3 guys on this board could relate to... So I'll just stop

But there is a very stong likely hood that we will not do this. But we could.... but we won't.

Now I for one feel if my Dh is going to touch me start by holding my hand and not going for other parts of my body too fast. Make believe it is the first date.

Yes, yes, yes!

Hey hey hey guys....when did we start talking about leather, whips and gags??? I missed out~~ What the hell!!! I do a character at the Haunted House...her name is Temptress...Got her name off a XXX movie....shes a WITCH with a captl B!! She carries a BIG WHIP...and yes, she wears the happy boots. I tell the customers the rules of the place, no touching the actors, no touching the props, no smoking inside...blah blah blah and if they dont follow the rules, they get sent back to ME! I say IS THAT CLEAR...and they all whisper back, yeaaa.. I scream at them I CAN'T HEAR YOU! YOU NEED TO ANSWER ME YESS TEMPTRESS...and they all scream it back~ I also have a friend splatter fake blood on me, so they see the beating that the last customer got that fell out of line ehehehehehehehehehehe, sick woman I am...but I have fun!

This being out on my own is actually getting easier. I could sit here all day and list the things that aren't right, that aren't fair....but why? I just know what I have to do and where its all going. My son is acting out a bit, but I just gotta be persistant and patient with him....and I know this is the right thing in my heart. I dont deserve to be unhappy. I dont deserve to hear Im a bad mother, when I know I have dedicated my LIFE to my son. And yes I have changed since we got married even since we met, but we met when I was 17....no 33 year old adult woman should feel or act or have the same attitude as a 17 year old! So yea, I did change...but all for the better. He didn't realize that because I was not under his rule any more...I know when the time is right I will be with someone who appreciates me for who I am now!!

Okay guys, the next time we talk bondage, would you please lemme know sooner?

TTYL