BayougirlMrsS

It's wasnt till fill 6 I think before I re felt it.

@@McButterpants I think most of us have falling off the wagon. Im so glad you have a good support system. I would so love to join a Yoga class... I know you can do it... and im glad the pills are helping you get back on track. I say, what ever it takes to achieve your goals. I have found myself at a stand still. I have to lose it slow as to now draw attention from my husband. if i lose it too fast he starts griping that im too skinny.... funny because when we met i was not even 100lbs.... So i lose a pound here and there. My 8's can now come off with out button or zipping... whoop. i have resolved to make 2016 a better happier year. few things i did: Set small goals and when i achieved them..I rewarded myself not with food, but other things like.. going to the salon and getting my toes polished. I also wrote on my mirror with a dry erase marker positive thoughts and quotes. Remember:.... Today your not as thin as you want to be, but your not as fat as you were....

So i read all the post, some positive some not... But, none the less... we are all here and for our on personal reasons we had some type of WLS. I would venture to say that we ALL used diet pills at one time or the other... So you won't hear me judging you on that. If your dr says this may be what you need and you take as prescribed... then do what your gut tells you. The past few years have been hard. I got my band in 2009. Ups and downs.. of course. My lowest weight was 143, today 145... but i had gotten back to 160 for a while and was miserable. So I... Me... sat down and thought... what the hell was wrong with me... Was i going to be one of "those" people that have WLS and gain the weight back? Are was i going to take my life back again... so i did... I looked at the things i had done over the years that helped me get to the 143... I worked out, i watched my diet, i had a positive outlook. I became an inspiration to other that made me what to do better...... What led to my gain.... I stopped working out, started eating things i should not be eating... and i let my husband dictate too much in my life. He stopped paying for gym, criticizing me, telling me i was too thin... Etc. So this past August...i said.... NO MORE. i'm going to make me happy again.... and i did i put aside the bad foods again and started taking the stairs... walking more (he still won't pay for gym, but im rejoining anyway)... and just having a more positive outlook about me (so im not 130.. but, im not 230 either). I can't change others.. Just me. @@McButterpants Observation: your profile says you started at 255 and are around 180ish now... ok that's 75ish pounds lost. That is amazing. I also saw that in you past post you were running and exercising, but the last yearish post has nothing.... Are you still exercising? Are you still watching your food and what KIND of food? How are you feeling about your self? What can you do today, one thing, to make a more positive change? Not saying that what i did was the end all be all... but, sometimes we all need to look at ourselves and take inventory... weed out the bad.. and take in the good. Wishing you all the luck....

Thank you all....

Just wanted to share a little something the happened last Monday..... My husband has a friend Juan... grew up together, went to school together and if we would happen to meet up with him, say in a store or night club... he would hang around and party with us.... He would comment on my FB post.. never anything inappropriate.. but he was a frequent poster. My husband made a comment a few time... I see Juan liked you pic again...I think he wants you. OMG.. Here we go again. fast forward... Monday Juan (54, same as my husband) died of a massive heart attack. Now this guy was in shape, gym guy... So i called my husband and said... OMG Juan passed away today....... He said..... Hummmm Sorry you lost one of your admirers.... I said... are you f**king kidding me. You lost a childhood friend and thats all you can say. I told him... ill talk to you when you get home... and hung up...

Excellent advice. Would a lawyer be able to Help me?

@@Sharon1964 WOW Sharon, you have done an amazing job in just 4 short months. can you picture yourself in a year.... can we say HOTTTT MAMA... I hope you are documenting your progress with pictures. Keep up the great work

@@glitter eyes thank you... i appreciate your kind words..... It's a matter of pulling the trigger

@@More than this OMG... i was just on the phone with a friend and was telling him that exact statement..... that it's like i don't exist. We hardly interact at all.... Normally one text in the am, a call at 11, and a text at 4 letting me know he is on his way home. Yesterdays interaction: he woke up, played on computer, showered, dressed, came told me bye... Worked from 7-4, then went shoot pictures at a locale high school (basketball), home, a Peck hello, into his office to send in pictures, he set in his chair with supper, watched tv till he fell asleep... The end. On night he has no shoot: all the same except, comes home after work, grabs his airgun, sit in back yard till dark, sits in chair with supper till he falls asleep.... I get a peck in the am, and one when he gets home.... that's it.

I read every post and i must say..... Thanks to you all, you have give some great advice and i will be using some of it. He and i have had talks about our situation multiple times.... I know he is waiting on me to pull the trigger so he can say... See, she left me. and it's about money too... Louisiana is a No fault state also. I have looked it my rights. He and i started off together with nothing so everything we have would have to be split 50/50. On some positive note: we only our our mortgage, living expenses and a few credit cards... I am better off than a lot of people. I have one child from my 1st marriage and we have one that's 24 years old. so no worries there. I have started doing more without him. In the past i would have been invited to go with girl friends places and would have said NO.... But, no more. Yesterday i went to the Saints game with a GF .... He pouted, but he's a big boy, he'll get over it. You guys are great.... thanks for taking the time to reply and all but one... (you know who you are)... has been very helpful.

@@RyansGirl89 You know i have thought of that. He knows i would do most anything... but its getting to the point of no return. I know i don't have the same feelings... how can i. I really want to leave to get his attention, but im kinda stuck. We went on a cruise for the weekend on the 13th.... of course he bitched the whole time... but nothing.. we had a very nice room with a balcony... we live in Louisiana... so it departed from NOLA and as we watched the sun go down over the Mississippi... and the Greater new Orleans bridge... he never once touched me or attempted to come near me... i said.. it's cold.. he said... it sure is. i said want to come stand by me.. he said... nahhh im good.

I have said that too him... i put it on me saying .. i want to know what im doing wrong... but he still won't go. When i said i would get a partime job to pay for it... he said... You don't really want to do that... I feel like im beating my head against a wall. @@journeymeh how are things now?

I do... but the more time goes on the less i feel for him... Hell the 16th will be 25 years we have been married. I do work... 7-4 m-f. and his money and my money goes into the same account. He has a "side job" taking pic and that's His money that he puts in His account.

I think so too.... he will only do counseling if i pay for half.... Im tired of being a room mate and not a wife.

@@BigViffer Spot on..... i had tons of confidence when we met... hell i was all of 100lbs size 0. Your right the more i gained the less confidence i had the more control he had.... He and i have had this conversation many times i told him that very thing. I know i have changed... I own up to that... I guess i was just naive to think that our issue was all about the weight...

@@WLSResources/ClothingExch I didn't have to look at your profile to tell your from NY... its a lot harder typing then talking and yes i do communicate with him... i tell him how i feel. Now does he hear me.... who the F knows. He knows im a very affectionate person... I love kissing, holding, touching and of course all this mostly leads to sex... I get none of that. That was my point... @@BigViffer He has never supported my choice to have the band done. He had made ugly comments to me, like.... you are to thin... you look like a bag of bones, your face was prettier when you were fat because you couldn't see the wrinkles.... you losing weight was the worse thing ever. But im not going to gain weight to make him happy... I like where i am right now.

I don't think so... Im a very good spotter of gay and Lesbian. In fact most of my closest friends are.... and he mentioned that the other day.... My personality is very outgoing, happy, free, funny, snippy, in your face, sarcastic and i tell the truth to a fault. if you want to know the truth... just ask... lol This part will prob. be TMI... But....many people here have said.... Be aggressive or direct..... I can get out of the shower walk naked in front of him and Nothing.... i sleep naked every night and nothing.... i can pleasure myself with him in the bed next to me and NOTHING... Sad part is.... I have men and woman hit on me daily and the one person i want to ...Wont.

I know that i have changed... that is a fact. I own that and he knows that i do. Like i said... very direct and clear. Counseling... i begged for it.. he said and i quote.. Get a part time job and pay for half and i will go.

The sex before when i was thin.... was good. Never "earth" shattering. But it happened at least every saturday am. Then as the weight crept up the sex went down... it was not all him at this point. I had little desire, but i still put out and gave it my all... even when i was not in the mood. As far as it being a deal breaker.... im not sure if it is or not just yet. It's more the lack of intimacy on other levels that bothers me. no kissing, no hugging... very little physical contact. Trust when i say, i can handle things on my own.

and he takes cialis 5mg everyday.... I have talked to him. I make myself known when i want sex...

So yes.... i have been on this forum for the past 6 years and have posted on a many of things. I have a question.... How many of you have lost the weight, got in shape only to have your spouse now not be interested in you...?? We have been married for almost 25 years. The first 5 i was thin.... then gained weight gradually through out the years. The last 5 have been what i would call "normal" size. Years before the weight loss we didn't have sex maybe a few times a year. I was kind of ok with that.... I blamed my weight and my lack of interest on my size. He assured me that it was not my size. He got tested for Low T and sure nuff... he now takes Testosterone shots every other week (gives himself RX). This was about the time i started losing weight and things got better. We were having sex a few times a month. At this time he also started working out, tanning, eating right, "grooming".... lol. It was great. I also, happen to think he may have started an affair with an ex GF. I intercepted a text message between them that he would not let me see.... plus i just had the gut feeling. anyway, she and her husband got divorced and she moved..... low and behold he stop EVERY thing... and our sex life went back into the crapper. Now, im 47 and something clicked in my hormones that has made me a raging Nympho... I wake up thinking about sex.... during the day im thinking about it and at night.... it has to be how a 18 year old boy feels. But i can't get him to have sex with me.... on the 8th it will be 4 months since the last time and that only lasted 10 min... if that. anyone else experience this?

@@itstimealready Most of us vets have TT pic's on here... Lost of hard work and great surgeries...

@@Sophie74656 Have things gotten better? I hope you stand your ground and don't let them push you around. My friends say i have a huge set (balls) ... They just so happen to sit on my chest... It's funny how i can stand my ground with most anyone except my husband..... But that is changing....

@@Sophie74656 Ok... so my 2 cents for what it's worth.... which is 2 cents.... Bahahahaha..... If im getting this right, your husband and this "girl" were friends before and you came along and yall got married. YALL (you and he) got married. NOT the three of you. Your husband need to choose which female he is going to be loyal too.... you or her. Looks to me like he is choosing her over you already. My husband pulled a stunt on me like that ONCE... and when we got home i handed him his balls on a plate and said if you ever disrespect me like that again i will leave you right there. Did they have a sexual relationship before? If not, i bet she wants one... I would tell your husband to have a conversation with her about her behavior... and if he doesn't.... then you should. Lay it all out on the table... Just an FYI: the girl that my husband did this with was an ex GF.... and six months after i caught them texting and he refused to show me what she sent him.... My gut says... they were either hooking up or fixing too. Just keep your eyes open and watch for the red flags.....

@@Subie66 i still have it... i drink one a day.... i can't stop