coltonwade

I dont think i said that its EVERYONE"S Experiences ! Not to mention I wasnt speaking about YOU . I was speaking about other people i know Mindy

hey girl , how are ya ? Will you love again ? YES . Will you always love him ? Probably . I still love my first love (the one I told you about ) but there are some ppl who can love each other all they want , but not live together. If he doesnt love you back he's not worthy of you . dont compare other men to HIM compare them to the standards you set for YOURSELF for the man YOU want. you will get over this and when you do you will look back and think " WHAT was I thinking LOL " Mindy

LMAO That's the point im trying to make , I know my son and I KNOW He's not telling me everything.is that a major deal to me ? NO . Even what he tells between myself and my DH . If MY mom knew everything I did she would ground me NOW and im 31 LOL I crack up at my friends who have kids who are 5 , 6, 7, 8 yr old kids that say " My kids are open with me they wont do that they are going to blah blah blah because I know them " I just laugh and tell them , yeah call me in 5 more years. My son is a good kid, But he's also a kid, he's going to go get into mischief and screw around I know that. Does the police bring him home at night ( like they did me a few times lol ) NO , does he say yes sir, no sir ect. Is he polite ? YES . But he's not perfect nor do i want him to be. he's good, he gives me lip sometimes but he's 14 ! I think i did a DAMN good job for raising him on my own , working and going to school the first 6 yrs of his life. But I dont think he tells me everything he does, or thinks. Im the "cool mom" too . The whole football team is basically at my house on the weekends. ONE Of the reasons im about to have to get a suburbanlol. I cant wait until next yr when he's in high school and the HS FOOTBALL team is at my house. I'll have to shop at SAMS more often and open a resturant lol But i dont mind, they are at my house, i know what they are doing and they are behaving . Mindy

My friend was driving around today ( we live in Austin ) and someone had written all over their minvan " PERRY KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OUR KIDS LET US DECIDE FOR HPV " I thought it was kind of funny . Im curious if there will be more investigating into this with Perry ? Mindy

I agree , if you tell a child to not do anything you need to explain to them why . Which is why I do that. I was a SINGLE TEEN MOTHER for 6 yrs and I was not nor was my child in PAIN . I take issue with that statment. Infact my son's life was MUCH BETTER becasue his "Sperm donor" as i call it walked out . He was a drug addict (i didnt know that at the time) who later died in a car accident. Sometimes its not matter of WANTING To get married sometimes you make a mistake and you decide its a better option to NOT get married. I have done work with teen mom's and pregnant mothers. I tell them their lives can be FULL and filled with JOY . Not pain . I think its best I end this conversation . Mindy

I think you are not misreading my "approach " on parenting. I by NO MEANS EXPECT my child to be " The lowest common denominator " In ANYTHING. I have fought for my son for 6 yrs in a school system that thought he WAS the lowest common denominator due to his dyslexia . Who NOW Is reading at grade level thanks to a new school and HIS hard work. So if anyones kid can do anything its MINE . I agree with you , if you establish communication early you can get to know how they think. But I dont think you can antisipate when they will stumble. You can know how they think, you get a feel if they are leaders or followers, bullies or protectors...ect... I can speak to my son about most subjects and what he doesnt feel comfortable talking about with me he goes to his dad. It was myself and my son for 6 yrs alone. We are very close. But I do not claim to know how he feels all the time . Nor will I . But I DO NOT Belive or expect him to FAIL AT ANYTHING. Mindy

I think that if someone can wait until marriage it is great. however I do not think its realisitic in this day and age . ( same thing I said on the HPV thread) I was very young when i lost my virginity . Do i regret it ? yes, but I regret to who it was with . I wish I had waited a bit longer. I also think that if your a parent THE MOST important thing you can do for your child is sure teach them about waiting BUT Teach them to PROTECT THEMSELVES. JUST BECAUSE you do not belive in pre marital sex does not mean you should not teach them about protecting themselves IF they decide to have sex. Because realistically the data shows They WILL have sex before they get married. I also would not marry anyone I did not live with FIRST . How do you know if you can live with someon if you dont LIVE With them first? I lived with someone before that i thought was the love of my life , i thought we were going to get married , after 3 months guess what ? He BEAT THE HELL OUT OF ME . What would have happened if i had married him FIRST ? It takes time for peoples TRUE personalities to come out even after dating, it takes time for you to know someone when you live with them . There is my 2 cents lol Mindy

I respect anyone's opinions and values on what they want to teach their kids , I really do . But being a young mother , who was NOT a great kid and got into alot of trouble i see things some parents dont. ( Not that im perfect as a mother by any means) . we all do the best we can . I assume my son can make good choices . My best friend told me once during a convo about the pill that she fears her 15 yr old dd would NOT make the right choice given the chance ( they are a very conservative christian family , we have some " Debates as you can imgaineLol ) I told her that if she feels that deep down her dd would chose to have sex even after everything she has taught her that I belive its irriespoinsible for her to NOT put her on the pill and protect her. She however will not talk to her daughter about protecting herself IF She decides to have sex. The mistake my parents made was to only tell me to NOT have sex, it was a sin to have sex before marriage and how wrong it was. DonT DONT DONT DONT DONT DO IT. their mistake I think , was to NOT tell me how to protect myself and to NOT drill that into my head as much as they did the NOT to have sex. I hope your dd's do have an open relationship with you , I hope they make the right choices. that's what we all hope for our kids. I know I was NOT easy for my parents lol Mindy

My whole point that im trying to make , given not well. is this . Until someone has children of the age they are speaking about ( what ever that maybe) in the situations they speak of you have NO IDEA what will happen. I KNOW someone can sit there and swear up and down they would do this becasue of this or that but really , no one knows what will happen . I try not to speak of things until they happen or unless they have happened to me because of this . I personally have found the parents who say they KNOW their kids , really are the one's that DONT . I talk to my son about things but I am almost positive he does not tell me or my husband everything. Because frankly im his parent not his friend . We have an open relationship , we talk about things, does he tell me things sure . Does he tell me EVERYTHING ? No and I know that and realize that. I see 1 of 2 things, that i consider mistakes, happen with my friend and their teen kids : 1 they try to be their friends and they DO Tell their parents everything and its the most unhealthy realtionships , they "parent child" lines are blurry and not well formed there for boundries are stepped on . 2 the parents who THINK their kids are telling them everything and know their kids and those kids are having sex , drinking or just doing things that their parents do NOT want them to do . I guess my point , dont have your head in the sand , when you do and you think you know your kids , your going to be disappointed. Maybe its the wrong way to be but i would rather be safe and make SURE they are being honest with me than sorry and THINK they are being honest with me . Mindy

Do you REALLY think that because you homeschool your kids that they are NOT going to have conversations about sex, drugs ect with their friends ? I know A LOT Of people who home school their children of all ages , those conversations DO take place. you are wrong , I DO teach my son to abstaine HOW EVER unlike my parents , I teach my son how to protect himself IF he chooses to have sex. NOT doing so is irresponsible in my opinon. I belive anyone can do anything they want to do . But im also realistic. I find people who live in a false sense of security are the one's most likely to be the ones that are set up for the most dissapointment . Mindy

I think you have the right mind set, dont get me wrong. I am not saying either that kids DONT abstane. I am however saying that those kids are few and far between . Things are so different now than it was in the time Ive been out of school. (about 15 yrs ) My friend and I were talking the other day . Sex, abortions ect now for teens are lunch room topics. My sister tells me the things her friends talk about , granted it is the things my friends and I were doing but we did not talk about it to everyone. Its scary . Personally I do think it is unrealiastic for kids to be virgins until marriage . Its just not the way things are now. If a child can manage to do it that's great and I say the child because no matter what a parent does or says to them its up to the kid . I just hate it when i see the parents (Not you others parents I know) who do not even have teens in school say " MY Kids wont do that I know my kids " and they have no clue what high school and middle scholl is like. Make sense ?? I hope your dd does abstane , I wish myssiter would have , i wish I would have. Mindy

Im not jumping on you but from my experience and as a former "teen Mom " its parents with that "Thinking" and contiue to think that way that have the kids who are having sex and refuse to see it or beilve it. That line of thinking although "Hopeful" is frankly not realistic. I have an open realtionship with my son , he talks to my husband more than myself about "things" but I do NOT think for ONE Second that he's NOT going to have sex before he gets married. This day and age its not realiistic , Its just not . You might home school but you cant not confine them to their homes forever. Mindy

Thank you Carlene . I actually see my sister learning by my mistake. She asked me for the pill. She was protected before she did it. SO She's one step up on me for that. My parents did not make it easy for me to talk to them about sex. They said " DONT DO IT DONT DO IT , its WRONG " Then every now and then would say ' Do you need to be on the pill ? " Why in the HELL would i tell you yes when you made it CLEAR that its TOTALLY wrong in ur eyes. They have not changed the way they do things, they told my sister the SAME THING . THAT Makes me angry . and i will NOT Sit back and allow it to happen if it doesnt have to. Im sure i'll catch flack but like i said I dont really care. Logically how can A mom get mad for someone basically trying to protect their daughter. I just hope she see's it that way . I did tell my sister if your old enough to have sex your old enough to tell mom that your on the pill at least. She agreed. She's going to tell her son and I agreed to be there with her. now telling my DAD that might not happen LOL You are right too Carlene, anyone that thinks " my dd wont do it " its nuts. From what my sister tells me they ALL are doing it and let me tell you they ALL Talk about it . Thinking " I raised them right they will make the right decision " as my mom thinks , its a dangerous mistake . Mindy

I get alot of " You dont look like you weight THAT much " . Im 5'4 and i weight 240 . Apparantly I carry my weight well according to everyone . I DONT See it. I have had a few people tell me " You dont need the surgery it you dont look like you weight that much " That gets frustrating . As for your DH . My dh went through alot of the same things, with me. A LOT OF his issues were lack of awareness about the band. Has he gone to a seminar with you ? Have you showed him info on how diets fail and end up putitng on MORE WEight than before the diet ? I also explained to him that the band was something I felt I could DO and succeed with . Diets were not "Doable" for me and That even exercise at this weight was painful. Eventually he came around . He's supportive now . Good luck . I have known for 2 yrs this is 100% what i wanted. Dont do it unless you know . Sure I still have doubts ( Im not banded yet ) But it passes and I get my determination back to get the surgery done NOW . LOL Good luck , I hope you figure things out Mindy

I use to work for docs offices and hospitals. When i worked for a family practice office we had lunch catered EVERYDAY by the drug reps . Im talking expensive resturants too . For over 50 people. They woudl give the docs trips to Dallas Cowboy games, San Antonio Spurs, NASCAR ect... its CRAP. that is one of the reasons why the drugs are so expensive. Its ridicoulous the way the drug reps "Hussle" Themselves for the docs. That the only way i describe it . Mindy

I agree with you. I too have mixed feelings. The way Perry went about things seems kind of shady to me and I think that is going to cloud the good in this . I have a feeling more shadiness might come out about this in the long run. I personally do not care for Perry myself. I took my 15 yr old sister to get the Vaccine and get on the pill and my parents do NOT KNOW YET ! however, I was a single teen mom ( age 16 when i had my son ) and when my 15 yr old sister comes to me and says " I want to get one the pill because I am thinking about having sex with my boyfriend " I was not about to tell her no . She said she could not approach the subject with my parents and shame on them for not changing their "approach" on sex with my sister. I also got my sister the HPV Vax. She was the first one at the PP clinic I took her to to get it. I personally shelled out the $175 x3 of my own money to get it for her. NOW Since all this has come up ( She's over the age) But my mom wants her to get the shot. I Told my sister she's going to have to tell my mom about the shot and the pill . I have MULITIPLE Friends who have had LEEP Procedures, one friend who is infertile and and basically was told by her doc to sit and wait for cervical cancer ( She's got family history on both sides) . I wasnt about to let my sister become sexually active and NOT get the shot . I Have conservative friends who ripped me a new one for doing it but I do not care. I would do it again . MIndy

I see what your saying. The Flu shot is a great thing too though . for SOME not all . For kids like mine who have asthma , the flu shot is a must . If he doenst get it and gets the flu it could be dangerous. So im glad its there. BUT I also realize that's not the case for everyone. My whole family gets the flu shot to help avoid my son getting it. Mindy

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070203/ap_on_he_me/cervical_cancer;_ylt=Ap4wedf9lZQrDW_o_eMnFGas0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTA3OTB1amhuBHNlYwNtdHM- This was all over the news today here in Austin . Perry has made the Gargasal Vax Mandatory . I see a few issues with this ( as it states in the article) #1 He issued an executive order ie Bypassed the legislature. I would NOT have such an issue with THAT SO much except for the fact that his former chief of staff is a lobbiest for Mereck . Now I know this is an important issue . But was it THAT important that it warranted an executive order ? I think not ? Why not do something like that for more important things ? I see shadiness all over this and unfortatly the message of the vax is goign ot get lost behind all that. Now I have to admit im on the fence about it being mandatory . I see and have issues with both sides of it. I see the "religion factor" coming in on this . People are going to opt out of it. So im on the fence about it. Even though if I had dd she would be getting it and im glad my sister got it . IF they had one for boys my boys would get it. Mindy

Georgia , you crack me up lol . You remind me of a friend of mine I use to go out with all the time when i was single lol. I use to have a "Rule" when I was single . When guys came up to me and wanted to exchange #'s I would NEVER Take their number , I would only give them mine , that way if they called I knew they were interested . I wouldnt have to wonder " should i call , should i not , what should I do " . I also never had to wonder if they were drunk and wouldnt remeber me LOL When I met my husband I gave him my # and he never called me I thought " OH well no biggie " the next weekend I saw him at the same club ( My girlfriends and I went there every Saturday dancing) he came up to me when i was on the dance floor and BEGGED me ( He says he didnt but he DID LOL) for my # again , I told him " Unless you have a pretty good excuse for losing my # to begin with Im not going to give it to you a second time , it must not have been that important to you to keep the first time " He tells me " OH My your # was in my shirt pocket and my mom came over and did my laundry and washed it " I told him it was inventive so I would give it to him again , He called me before i got home that night lol HAD I known then what I know now about his mother, That was the FIRST sign of things to come LOL . The rest is history as they say . Mindy

I think i agree w/it not being mandatory . I kind of have mixed feelings about it I guess. I can see how it would help to have it mandatory and why it shouldnt be too . Mindy

When the chicken pox vax first came out they didnt know how long it would last, hell they STILL DO not know how long it will last for sure, but they tell you you dont need to get your kid a booster. There is no 100% sure thing. how do you think the chicken pox vaccine became part of the vaccine regimine ? From the drug company lobbying. How do you think EVERY OTHER Vax became manatory ? The SAME WAY . Its too important not to get it in my opinon. mindy

I have sister who is 15 ( im 31) She came to me to be put on birth control because my parents are NOT so bright and did not learn ANYTHING from myself OR MY MOM getting pregnant at 15 and 16 and do not tell her anything different from what they told me . SO that being said, I also got my sister the shot. Since I was paying out of pocket its a series of 3 shots at $175 Each out of pocket for myself. BUT its worth it for me to get it for my sister. I'll deal with my parents later w/all of it. I have a friend who can not have children now due to HPV . Its worth it for me to get it for my sister on both counts. Both are protecting her from very seroius consequences.

Well here it is the end of Jan and still no money for surgery . The job that we are getting the money from is delayed due to the weather here in Texas. So im a bit frustrated. Trying to be patient but that doenst work out too well sometime. I met Dr Rincon last week and he's awesome. Very nice, Very Caring doc . I am hoping to have the money now but the end of Feb. Hopefully that works out . I still do not want to have surgery when the kids are out of school. I think it will be too difficult to do with the boys home . That's all for now .

Well here it is the end of Jan and still no money for surgery . The job that we are getting the money from is delayed due to the weather here in Texas. So im a bit frustrated. Trying to be patient but that doenst work out too well sometime. I met Dr Rincon last week and he's awesome. Very nice, Very Caring doc . I am hoping to have the money now but the end of Feb. Hopefully that works out . I still do not want to have surgery when the kids are out of school. I think it will be too difficult to do with the boys home . That's all for now .

Mexico was not an option for me either. My surgeon charges $12,000 with a yrs worth of fills and after care. If you want Flouro its $100 extra ( I THINK ) He's in San Antonio,TX Im S of Austin so its less than an hours drive for me to see him. Im self pay as well and its cash all the way no financing , i couldnt get financed even if i tried. Email me or pm me if you want more info on my surgeon . HTH Mindy