hi there... i know what u going thru.. im sorry for everything tht has happened with u!!! keep strong... well i kind of relaxed on my band after almost 3 years being banded.. wht i needed to realize was that the band is just a tool that will help us to where we want to be, a health place.... so after gainin almost 15 lbs i deceded to join weight watchers,, it helped me a lot.. it made me focus on me, and seeing results made me feel awesome.. my lowest was when i got married in 2010 (I Was banded in 2008), i weighted 158.. n slowly crawled to 175lbs. i felt like a failure.. but now being in weight watchers since march, iam now weighting 145!. so do it. if its not weight watchers, i am sure u will find something that will make u focus on u, n see that u deserve this.. good lucky!!! dont ever forget the long way u came, dont give up "