stateofzen

Head hunger is nurture rather than nature-- habit and learning, not biology. It's the rough equivalent of the psychological cravings that people with drug addiction get even when their bodies are no longer physically addicted to a substance. No surgery is going to touch that-- only after a significant relearning and practicing of new habits is head hunger going to go away.

The problem is not with weighing oneself every day-- the problem is with freaking out over normal weight fluctuations I weigh daily and track my weight on a dry erase calendar I have hanging in my bathroom closet. This is my general pattern of loss-- up and down in a 1-1.5lb range for a week, then a day where I see a new low number. Then bounce back up slightly for a couple days (but the bounce up is to a lower number now), then a new lower number. I consider the "down bounces" a weight loss but I only count full lbs down (so I've been weighing at 193.4, but I count that as 194 until I see 193.0 or below). I do not consider up bounces within the 1-1.5 lb range gain-- because I know after tracking like this for 6 months that they aren't really. This is my pattern and I have steadily lost 70 lbs like this in 6 months. I'm averaging about 10 lbs a month, with many more "bounce up" days than bounce down days. That's just normal. If you expect it, it isn't upsetting. I know with others it absolutely drives them crazy to see that bouncing up and down, so they don't weigh more than once a week. If weighing every day is bothering you, give that a try.

I eat a Zone Perfect bar almost every day for breakfast-- 210 calories, 14g Protein. If I were doing it for a snack, I'd probably stick to the the Fiber One 90calorie bars, but that's only because 200 calories is about twice the amount I want to spend on a snack. For you, that might be the perfect amount.

I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time, Phran. That's a lot of stress to have to deal with, not to mention the grief. I wish you the best, and I hope your swelling goes down quickly-- don't forget the liquid tylenol to help with the pain.

I know, right? She just said what I was trying to say, only with less off-putting sarcasm.

I have had 3 weight-related goals since surgery. First, I said that getting under 200 would mean I was significantly healthier and at lower risk for weight-related health conditions than I was at 293, so if my loss stopped there I wouldn't be thrilled but I'd be satisfied (not to mention, that would put me at over 60% of excess weight lost, which is the stated goal of my surgeon). Second, I said that I'd like to weigh less than my husband, for vanity's sake. That means weighing 170-175. Third, I set the goal of 150 which would put me (barely) in the "healthy" BMI range for my height. When I started this, I have to admit that 150 seemed like a pipe dream-- an aspirational goal that would be psychologically unhealthy for me to get really attached to because I wasn't ever going to really be able to get there. Today is my six month bandiversary and I have already achieved goal 1: I weighed in at 194 this morning, which puts me 99 lbs down from my high and in so much better physical condition than I used to be, even though I am still obese. I am also clearly not done losing. I'm now thinking that 150 might be doable after all, though we'll have to see. My next goal is on my ticker-- it is being in the overweight BMI category instead of obese and it roughly coincides with my "less than my husband" goal. Sometimes this journey has been unbelievable-- case in point-- I am now in a size 12 in pants. I can't imagine wearing lower than a size 12, yet it will be inevitable if I really do reach my goals. I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around that. Even when I was an athlete in college I was wearing a size 12.

Cheri, you're right-- different strokes for different folks. What I should have said is that I, personally, am in the "treats in moderation" camp since I know that is what will sustain me for a lifetime. I can't speak for others.

Oh Spartan. Tell me again in a super long preachy post about how you never said XYZ and then follow it up by preaching about XYZ. You certainly proved me wrong! Yes, I'm saying alcoholics can have just one drink and be fine. That's exactly what I'm saying. The OP and others were sharing their own experiences with the band. Yes, many people who are obese have an "addiction" to food and just one bite could be problematic for staying on track. That is absolutely not my experience. It is also not everyone's experience on this site. So me posting that I would occasionally eat a french fry if I could is not the equivalent of telling a room fool of alcoholics to drink in moderation. Nice try, though. I love hyperbolic strawman arguments. Care to call me a Nazi next? Each person must take a good look at their own behaviors and the self-talk behind those behaviors to understand what's happening for them personally. If obesity were a one cause-one size fits all problem, then we'd have cured it by now. For the rest of us folks reading, here is what I'm saying: Learning is learning. Period. Learning through positivity is more pleasant and better in the long run, but learning through a negative consequence can still be effective in the end. I'm sure just about everyone has had at least one painful experience in life that they have no wish to repeat because of the memory of the pain. If this were a post about how the OP wanted to learn how to eat around the band so she could keep eating the wraps every day, well first, I'd look at the nutrition info and see that it actually isn't as horrible a choice as it could be at 280calories and 14g Protein, and then maybe we'd have an in-your-face tough love conversation about trying to sabotage one's lifestyle change. But since the OP started a thread to say, hey, guess I learned my lesson with that one-- then the preaching is just a bit much in my opinion. If you're perfect-- well, ok. Good for you! But I'm not and neither are the rest of us and I can't imagine why you'd be trolling a message board in your perfection when everyone knows sitting on your butt in front of a computer screen is a very unhealthy decision! You could be exercising, and you have a moral obligation to your loved ones to be 100% healthy, 100% of the time doncha know

Good work! I am firmly in the "treats in moderation" camp, and I applaud you for your success in maintaining and then getting back to losing. This is for life. The more we are able to train ourselves to indulge in moderation and then get right back to healthy eating without the shame and guilt, the better we will succeed.

Thanks for sharing what you're eating, Lisa! I too limit carbs (most of the time). Today I had more carbs than usual because of the fruit and crackers. Today I had a banana for breakfast, a wedge of 35cal laughing cow cheese with 35cal whole wheat crackers for a snack, a beef bratwurst (no bun) for lunch with 4 cubes of colby-jack cheese, and summer sausage slices for dinner. It has been a weird day-- I normally get more veggies and don't eat this much cheese! But that is about 800 calories. I may go ahead and eat a salad later if I get hungry to get in more veggies. ETA: It's also a strange day because of the processed meat. But I'm trying to clean out my freezer, so I'm eating some interesting things in the protein department. At least I have turkey burgers on tap for today

Sure, yes. But that's part of what the band does-- helps people learn and makes it easier to make healthy choices. Why does it ultimately matter why she isn't eating the wraps anymore? In the end, the band helped her learn a better choice. Eating unhealthy food-- enjoying it on occasion-- is not a moral failure. I think we all need to take a moment for a self-reality check before we get on that very high horse and judge other people's reasons for deciding not to eat something. I will straight up say-- if I could still eat french fries without getting a stuck feeling, I would. *Gasp* Every once in a while, I would eat 1 or 2 fries (that's all my appetite would ever allow after my protein) just for the shear enjoyment of the taste. That does not make me a bad person or a band failure.

Good to hear it went well-- and it sounds like you have the right attitude for keeping up your success in the future.

Maxi- Your lower rate of loss is because you started at a lower BMI (at least, you started 10 BMI points lower than I did). I think you're doing great. Just try to remember it's not a race (I'm telling myself this too, as I know I'm going to see my losses slow down soon since I'm approaching a lower BMI). As long as the scale is moving, even if it is at a glacier slow rate, the band is working. Sure, I'd like to be at goal tomorrow, but if I count on it I'm just setting myself up for feelings of failure and disappointment-- which is crazy, since I haven't seen my current weight (195) in over 10 years. Ask yourself this-- when was the last time you lost this much weight and kept it off/kept losing in 6 months? If you're like most of us, it has been a very very long time.

Banded in September and I've lost a total of 73 lbs since surgery, 98 lbs since pre-op diet. I have about 50 more lbs to lose before I make my goal. I have gone from a tight 3x, 22/24 to a large in tops and a 12 in pants. More importantly, I have lost all of the pain I had associated with weight-- back and foot. I am also off of my cholesterol meds (actually, that happened just because of my pre-op diet). Today, when discussing joining a private mutual fund with a broker, he made a passing comment about how if we were "fat and taking up the whole chair" then he'd have concerns about us joining this "very healthy group" but that we were exactly the type of healthy that they look for.

Hahaha-- Spartan, you're absolutely precious. Let me give you your official "food police" badge that you can wear attached firmly to your chest. You go, you born again food and fitness evangelist! Thank you for preaching to us sinners.

Extraonme-- you've lost 10 BMI points!!!!! That's amazing I have lost a lot, but I lost almost 30 lbs of it before surgery during the pre-op period. So really, I'm much more in line with everyone than it may look from looking at my ticker. In any case, don't let the comparisons get you down. I've seen people on this site, at goal, who said they took 3 years to get there because they were slow losers. 3 years is nothing in the scheme of things. You will succeed. I think the worst thing about these support sites is the comparison factor and if we could all stop that we'd honestly and logically look at our progress and be happy. When's the last time you lost 10 BMI points in six months? Keep up the good work-- you are right on track. ETA: LisaA, you are awesome too. You have the best attitude and are a great support for the rest of us.

I thought giving up soda (Diet Dr. Pepper in my case) was going to be horrible. I drank it like it was Water. It was easy in the end, so easy that I'm surprised I ever worried about it. I truly don't miss it at all. I'll tell you, I weaned myself off it with Diet Sweet Tea (made with splenda), so it was super sweet but no calorie and no carbonation. Then I got sort of tired of the tea and just stopped drinking that too. I have no regrets. I have had to give up a total of 3 things that I loved before-- soda, beer, and french fries. That's it. Everything else I can still eat in moderation. And all of the things I can do now that I couldn't do before-- I'd give up those 3 things a million times over for everything I've gained. It's not even close.

That's fantastic!

NUT is nutritionist (dietician)

Congratulations! i just tell people I limit carbs and eat less-- which is completely the truth

Thank you both so much!

I've finally started exercising a bit after about 6 months. I've been doing Zumba twice a week for about a month, then added belly dancing once a week about three weeks ago and on Friday, went to my first yoga class. Well, the yoga on Friday followed by Zumba on Saturday kicked my abs butt. I am super sore, and have some twingy pain around my port. The problem with Zumba is that with all of the jumping around, my belly moves in sometimes painful ways (I need to wear a compression shirt under my t-shirt to do it to hold everything tight). So with all of the ab work I did in Yoga, followed by the belly jostling with Zumba, I'm feeling it two days later. I guess I'm anxious about doing something bad to my port. It feels fine (meaning normal) when I press on it. I skipped Zumba yesterday and just went on a walk instead, but now I'm wondering about my belly dancing class tonight since it obviously is all ab work. Is this something I should be worried about or am I being a bit of a freak?

I haven't been on Depo in about 10 years. I too took it for six months and it took a year for my periods to return, so it's good you're going off now if you want to conceive in 2 years, just in case it takes you as long as it took me. I take BCP now (Apri is the brand name) and I have had no problems losing on it. In fact, one of the weird things about me compared to the other ladies is that where some people gain or stall around their period, I can count on losing 4-5 lbs when I start (and it's a permanent loss). I have no idea why it works that way, but I'm not complaining. Knowing what I know about the Depo side effects (and how it works by storing in your fat), I would not be at all surprised if you see weight loss after it cycles out of your system (though again, because it is stored in fat, the more you have, the longer it seems to take to disappear). I don't think this was probably helpful, but it's all I can offer!

I 100% believe that the 6-month diet was what put me on the path to success (so far). It seems like I did the biggest bulk of retraining myself how to eat during that period so that by the time surgery came, I was in the groove. My doctor put me on Atkins for the 6-month loss and for me, it worked wonders. The first week or so was a bear, but after that the carb cravings really did disappear and I found myself eating healthier and smaller amounts of food. In fact, the only weight-related medication I was taking before the surgery was for cholesterol-- and my pre-op diet alone got me off of those meds. You will absolutely not be perfect. Don't even bother trying For me, I set in my mind that I was going to try to learn to eat in moderation-- the way I wanted to eat for the rest of my life. So even though I was generally low-carbing it, I wasn't insane about it (and I am still not). I asked myself-- am I going to go the rest of my life and never eat dessert again? The answer is no-- but I certainly didn't need dessert every day and even now it isn't really what I'm interested in. I've had dessert (like pie, or a cupcake) maybe a handful of times since surgery because it isn't what has been hard to give up. Pasta, on the other hand, was hard for me so I still have it about once a month or so. How about a hamburger, which really only tastes the way it is supposed to on a bun? Yep-- I've had a hamburger about 3x since surgery with the bun intact. And pizza-- again, about once a month (for several days actually, since a medium thin crust gets me a LOT of meals these days). No matter what your 6-month diet is, to me, it is most successful when you treat it as an opportunity to start learning new things and not like a hurdle you have to jump to get to the surgery. Treat it sensibly, and think about it as setting the stage for a path you can follow for the rest of your life. I wish you luck!

You've gotten great advice here, and I would just reiterate the point that the surgery will be here when you are ready for it-- so make sure you're ready and it's the right decision for you. I think we've all been where you are, to varying degrees. I'll tell you, the thought of giving up Diet Dr. Pepper and beer forever seemed like a huge deal to me before surgery and I had a bit of a pity party over it. But it is seriously no big thing to me now. It was easier than I thought to give up both and I really don't miss it, especially when I consider all of the things I've gained in return. And I have gained a lot. I feel like I'm fully living my life now in ways I didn't even realize I was missing before. Just being able to comfortably move my body is amazing-- right now I am feeling some major abdominal soreness after belly dancing followed by yoga followed by Zumba-- but it feels awesome, especially compared to the real lower back pain and foot pain (plantar facitis) that I had before-- both of which are gone now after a 98 lb weight loss. The skin saggy-ness isn't great, I'm not going to lie. I will be having plastic surgery next summer if I'm at my goal by then to fix my stomach. But let's really be honest here-- how is saggy skin any less physically appealing than a big old fat filled belly of skin? If any of us are going into this merely for vanity reasons then it's probably not the right time to have the surgery. Vanity is part of it-- yes-- but it probably shouldn't be the primary driving force or the results may be somewhat disappointing. That said, I look soooo much better at 195 than I did at 293. Not perfect by any means, but pretty darn good and my husband definitely agrees. I totally understand worrying about the "new person" as opposed to the already-loves-you person, but there are new men who will be just as unconcerned with some saggy skin as there are new men who were just fine with the obesity. It's scary, but it doesn't have to be the thing that holds you back if you don't let it. As for being a successful dieter: Your story is the story of countless women who have been banded, and it's my story too. I am great at losing weight. I have been able to successfully exercise and diet my way down several times in my life. The thing I suck at, and the reason I got the band, is keeping the weight off. I had reached the point where I just gave up trying to lose weight-- what was the point if it just came back in no time and brought 20 more lbs along with it? The band is my "one last shot" and I got it because I truly wanted to have something that would help me really make a lifestyle change and stick with it forever, even when I was finished losing. We'll see if it works that way or not, but for me, that possibility was worth the try. With all of that said, if you still aren't ready by April-- that is ok. You don't have to rush into anything you're not sure about. For this surgery to be effective, it DOES require major life changes when it comes to food choices and it's hard to make the correct choices if your head isn't 100% in the game. So take more time to yourself to weigh the pros and cons (make a list- it will help) and maybe stop talking to this friend about it-- let her politely know you're not looking for outside opinions at this stage in the game. I'm sure whatever you decide will be the right choice for you.