findingme2

I've been gone for a whole after being told in December that "this surgery doesn't work for everyone and you are probably one of those". Hmmm.....have been in shock/anger/depression/more shock/more anger and just resolve that it was a waste of time. At least the surgeon was honest. What I believe needs tweaking is after care for those patients who do not do well and to assist them while their window is still open. Ooops...did you guys shelve the unhappy patient link??? Disgruntled I think it was called??? It's a reality. If anyone reads this please know I did things by the book except go to support groups because they meet at night and I have an ill spouse I cannot leave (his caregiver goes home at 5:00 PM). I have my one year anniversary coming up this week. What a tremendous and devastating experience this has been. Good luck to the others of you.

Man, oh man, oh man.......I am with you on this. I studied so long, and pondered doing this surgery for so long and lost so fast at first and then a ten ton brick dropped. I have found no motivation in my soul to do what I call my four corners (portions/choices, Proteins, liquids and exercise). Proteins and liquids- easy. Exercise- yech. Portions/choices- I feel like I am crazy sometimes...eating junk that makes me feel miserable but I eat it anyway. I made it back on the right path today so hurray for one day....right???? This stuff is hard but I will NOT give up!!!!! Thanks for the post...I shall return!!!

:phanvan Hi Muggle and I am so with you....disheartened. I knew I needed more restriction and it took six weeks to get an appointment. I was so depressed throughout the six weeks and ate. Put some weight back on. Got a huge fill (I am now at 9cc out of a 11cc band) and I am doing okay...not great. As my surgeon is about to go into the port he says "you know the lap-band doesn't work for some people". Great. I didn't need to hear that. Why don't we discourage me. :cry Bypass is not an option for me b/c of other life circumstances. So my heart is with you!!!! Motivation?? Ha!! Hang in there!!! :help: :help: :help: :help: Ruthie

Hi Marcy....I grew up in Georgia and now live in Morris county..lol. Guess we switched southern/northern places. Hi everyone in NJ...hope all are doing well. My life has settled a little bit. I saw cute Dr. Bertha this week and will get another fill. First opening though was last day of the month- yikes!!!! I have zero restriction so I feel like I am flying solo. Have a great October!! Ruthie

Hey all you Georgians!!! I am a true blue Georgian :clap2: (born and raised) but was love-jacked (as opposed to hi-jacked) by my precious Yankee DH to New Jersey:kiss2: . My family is in the Stone Mountain/Snellville area with family ties in Milledgeville as well as beginning my teaching career in the Vidalia area. I also went to college in the Rome area AND additional work at UGA! So I have been all over our great state (anddddd a piece of my heart will always be in Savannah and the Golden Isles). I LOVE my Georgia and miss it terribly. It feels like home reading this thread though so hope you guys don't mind me lurking!!! I was banded up here in Jersey 7-11-06 and have been a slow loser but would do it all again in a heartbeat. Peace to all of my fellow Georgians!!! Ruthie

Hi Seppi and Connersmom: Dr. Bertha did my surgery and I adore him though I wish he would smile more. BUT, that's okay too. I needed an excellent surgeon not an entertainer. Anyway, you will do fine. Their practice is so good about pre and post op stuff. Listen to Alexandra, she's the expert!!!!! Just look at her loss #s!!!! Lynn, the surgeon's office manager is a doll and Josephine is amazing. Nino is also great and positive. Seppi, again in my opinion, tell you GYN how you felt about her negativity and hey, there's always the option of finding another. My PCP knows not to send me to any specialist who is not pro-patient. I especially expect a GYN to be positive. I am so lucky to use the most incredible GYN in Morris County. He is an excellent doctor plus a caring person. I broke my foot years ago and was sitting in ER waiting to be seen. He walked through after a false alarm labor, saw me, and sat with my DH and I until the ER people had me settled into a room. THAT's a nice and supportive doctor. Again, just my opinion and my personal feelings about things. You are about to begin one of the most wonderful and life-changing journeys you could take. Diet and exercise are great and they will be an important key to your weight loss, HOWEVER, there are those of us who need a bridge to get there. Too bad your GYN is blind to that. Good luck all!!! Ruthie

RitaAnn: How very dear of you to offer. I will certainly keep that in mind!! Wow!!! How nice you are!!! DH stands for dear husband. It took me 2 months to learn a few of those abbreviations. Just ask....that's what we are all here for....even the newbies like me....2 months and 7 days out. Ruthie

Atta boy Chris......you go college boy!!!! You are too cute!!! Thanks though....good info. (I'm one of the July girlie girls so that's how I know you are the college boy)

I haven't been to a support group because my DH is disabled and I am at home with him at night. Our caregiver of 4 and 1/2 years stayed with us until after my surgery and then basically retired. THAT was July and finding someone reliable, trustworthy and wouldn't freak because my husband wanted to take his meds at 10:15 instead of 10:00 (I am not kidding) has been a challenge. Today, Monday, I took the day off (I teach in Bergen County) to orient a new caregiver which I pray might be a good match. Whew this stuff is tough. ANYWAY.....IF this person works out maybe I can (hope, hope, hope) attend a support group meeting. One day at a time. Rita Ann....there is another Bertha/Abkins patient in Vernon because we were in the same pre-op class together. He and I also ended up having our first fills at the same time. He was banded a week after me. I have absolutely no memory of his name though. Did this surgery take our brain cells away??? LOL Alexandra....that is great you do the pre-op seminars. What a fine example you are too!!! Wish us luck with out new caregiver!! Ruthie

RitaAnn: as Fran said it really is a quick and fairly easy thing. I have had one fill. The hardest part for me was waiting for the surgeon to get to Radiology. He had a problem in surgery and we (the 4 people getting fills) had to wait for him to finish. Well, they told us we had an option to reschedule but none of us wanted to do that. Anyway- they take you in, lay down, he numbs the area of the port, inserts port syringe and saline and then let's you test how it feels. You watch the whole thing on a TV type monitor. I was chicken and didn't get enough of a fill. I need another!! Wow Fran you have done great!!!! What an inspiration. I had heard Dr. Pupkova had left and wondered why???? She was at my seminar in March. Hmmmm....who knows. I love Dr. Bertha though he is all business. He's so cute he can be forgiven for that...lol. Glad you guys said hi. I live in Morris County in Rockaway Township. Nice to have others in the area to chat with!! Ruthie

I noticed the metallic taste for like the first couple weeks and after my first fill. It comes and goes but not as strong.

Hi...my insulin need has been cut in half post banding plus I am off of Glucophage. Yes, the band will help with your diabetes because ANY weight loss will help!!! My primary has told me I will probably be able to eventually discontinue insulin all together and maybe just be on a low dose of one of the meds. The biggest question is what is right for your life. The band was the only answer for me and after 2 months and 3 days post banding I am convinced more and more every day how right I was with my decision. Good luck!! Banded 7-11-06 Dr. N. Bertha Dover-St. Clare's Hospital, NJ

Hi Tigger: In my opinion Morristown is the better known and more respected hospital, which it deserves. It has a wonderful reputation and has been well-managed. Again, this is my opinion. When I first became acquainted with area hospitals (too acquainted via my DH's heart attack, heart by-pass, heart transplant at Col-Presb in NYC, etc) I was so impressed with Morristown. Now, all this being said, Morristown is also one of the area's largest. I had out-patient knee surgery there. I woke up in extreme pain with stuff all over my knee (huge ice bags and stuff) in a recovery area of about 50 people in one large room. One guy was yelling because he had tried to pull out his catheter and generally it was so noisey I felt a panic attack coming on. I chose Dover St. Clare's purely on that experience. Their recovery room is cozy and only holds like maybe 10-20 people. There are fabric dividers between each patient and you don't feel like you are in a cattle yard. The nurses are incredibly attentive checking on you every few minutes it seemed. It was so quiet and calming. It was much more to my liking. St. Clare's was mismanaged for many years and their reputation has suffered. MY DH has told me to let him die before ever going back to their ER. However, they have spent a lot of money creating the new bariatric surgery center and have hired great people. The director of the center has called/e-mailed me every 2 weeks to check on me. The nutritionist came to see me in recovery to check on me. Dover-St. Clare's is small and the parking is literally right at the door. For me, I definitely made the right decision. Again, just my opinion. Ruthie

Hi Tigger! Yes, there are lap-band support groups at Dover/St. Clare's Hospital. I know it meets twice a month but am not sure when or what part of the hospital. Call the main # and ask for the Bariatric Surgical Center and ask them. I too researched it for a long time but knew me well enough if I kept putting it off I would keep putting it off longer. So, as the saying goes, fish or cut bait, I signed up for the consults and met with the surgeon and set a date. I wanted to wait until school was out for the summer so I had from April to July to think about it. It was way too long. I almost backed out but am SO glad I did not. The closer I got to surgery date the more nervous I was but again.....I am soooooo glad I did it. I am out 8 weeks and have more energy than I have had in years. Personally, it took me a few weeks to adjust to whole thing but I admit I don't do change easily. And it is change. You still have to make food choices and make yourself get off your duff and move!!!! You don't have to adjust overnight just inch by inch. Good luck! Ruthie banded 7-11-06 Dr. Bertha/St. Clare's-Dover

Hi Guys and thanks for the encouraging words about my first fill. I am actually excited about having it because I eat and then could eat again. I am ready for that "full feel" I had when first banded. I hope Dr. Bertha will be doing the fill--- really don't know who is scheduled. He has those little perfect "surgeon hands" so I am sure he does a superb job (okay I confess- I think he's too cute and stared at his hands during the pre-surgery conference...lol). Their office hasn't given me any direction as far as preparing for the fill so I am thinking maybe only liquids after midnight and nothing to eat or drink (except sips of water) at all 5 or 6 hours prior. I also understand from reading other people's post that I should be prepared to stay for an hour to drink Water. NJ Chick I teach close to Hackensack (Fair Lawn) so I am familiar with Bergen Co. I totally hear what you are saying about someone taking over a support group. I too have had that experience and I get "squirmy" and bored. And thanks for the invite to the chat....I will check it out. And no Seppi, I haven't been to any support groups. DH had a stroke a while back (yes, it sucks) and his former caregiver didn't work at night. We have a new caregiver starting Tuesday who will be living here during the week so maybe I can get out and check out the groups. Do you go to the one at their office, at Dover or at Olde Mill?? And hello Alexandra and thanks for saying hi. Wow you've done great on your weight loss journey. Congrats!!!! What an inspiration. Haven't checked out trails at Split Rock. I take DH with me and push him in his wheelchair so he can get some fresh air too so I look for paved trails. But that is a beautiful part of the county. Have a great week....with the fill, the new caregiver (especially a live-in) and starting back to school on Thursday it's a rather crazy week. Yikes. Ruthie

Hi Dezadoo....I did the exact same thing and it was making me mental!!! I decided to stay away from scale-obsession. Lo and behold when I went for my 7-week check-up I had lost 7 more pounds. Surgeon said muscle weight weighs more than fat and when your body is adjusting to weight loss you are shifting weight. He said throw the scales out and rely on clothes, movement and hunger. When you feel hungry after eating you need a fill. May not help but thought I'd share. School this week??? Good luck. Ruthie

Hi NJChick and Seppi: Yes Dr. Bertha also works out of Morristown NJChick and no, St. Clare's Dover just opened their bariatric surgery unit in January Seppi. I chose St. Clare's because I had out-patient knee surgery at Morristown and woke up to about 50 people recovering and the grumbling horrified me. Call me odd but I have that in my head so decided to try St. Clare's. My primary insisted I go with Bertha because he has done so many surgeries. I personally thought Dr. Abkin was a bit more friendly at the seminar but anyway. I trust our primary. And Seppi- that's cool we share the same band-date though different year. I hope to do as well as you have!!!! Hey, it's GREAT to hear from "youse Jersey girls"!!! We go out to eat usually once a week and I have found Quiet Man Pub in Dover is so nice about accomodating my needs as well as two chains Lone Star in Whippany (they actually drained their Soup for me while I was still on liquids) and Red Lobster in Roxbury. I contacted Morris Co Parks (we live in Morris co) and they have about 5 parks with paved trails if you are interested in walking. Also in Rockaway, there is paved path around Parks Lake which is just lovely, again if you are in to walking. I have my first fill on Tuesday....am so ready for it. My port can be easily felt so I am hoping for a non-nightmare. How have you guys done with fills??? Again, thanks for responding. Any ideas about stuff us northern NJ folk can do please share. Ruthie Banded 7-11-06 Dr. Bertha/St. Clare's Dover Bariatric Center

Hi: Just thought I would throw this out and see if there are any other bandsters from northern New Jersey who would be interested in sharing great food finds, great grocery stores, restaurants that are accomodating, great walking paths or fat-friendly gyms, or just chat. I KNOW there must be some because there were 8 people in my pre-surgery conference alone!!! And there were 100's at the seminar!!! Come on you New Jersey folk. Say hi!! Ruthie Banded 7-11-06 First Fill scheduled 9/5/06 Dr. N. Bertha/St. Clare's Dover Bariatric Center I'd quote our state slogan but wasn't the last one a bust because it was borrowed from another state?? LOL You HAVE to love New Jersey!

KIM. you've lost 23 pounds!!! Lap band patients only lose 1-2 pounds a week so you are doing good and don't listen to the negatives even if it is your Mom and doctor. I can't believe your surgeon told you were not doing well....that's odd. My surgeon told me to stay away from the scales because it will make you crazed. Pay attention to your body, clothes, what you can do now that you couldn't before, etc. HANG IN THERE!!! Ruthie

Hi: WOW Tonya....you've lost almost 60 in a month??? Go girl times ten!!! I had a 7-week check-up with my surgeon yesterday and am down 38 and am happy. Last 3 weeks I felt like I had lost nothing but I felt the clothes were getting a little roomier so I was hopeful. I also am most excited that I have my first fill next week!!!! Can't wait to feel that full feeling again!!!!!! Ruthie Banded 7-11-06 38 down, seemingly zillions to go

Goal to measure portions- thumbs down Goal to spread drinking liquids out through day- thumbs up So I'm 50/50. Tomorrow- no Weight Watchers Sherbert and Ice Cream bars (I can't stop at one) and measure portions! Ruthie Banded 7-11-06 New Jersey (but Georgian by birth)

I will measure my portions and not wait until 2 hours before bed to finish my liquids (usually half of them!!!!!....bad!!!!) Ruthie

Hi all: As I have started the journey of re-gaining my life (and me) I am struck by the little things about losing. Please share your thoughts about the great things about being a loser!!! *I can bend over to put on or take off my disabled husband's shoes without feeling like I will suffocate. *I can roll over in bed with much greater ease (this one's for my band-buddy who said this to me the other day) *I walked by the mirror and swore I saw a waist trying to appear!!!! What are your little things that are great?? Ruthie Banded 7-11-06 (oh thank heaven for 7-11!!!) Dr. N. Bertha/St. Clare's Hospital Dover, New Jersey

I am a month out. First couple weeks the weight was falling off. I lost 31 pounds!!!! I lost a little more during week 3. Granted I was on liquids but when I started soft foods during week 4 the weight came to a scrunching halt!!!:faint: Has this happened to anyone??? I am doing the 64 ounces of liquids, doing my Protein shakes and watching portions. I am walking when I can which is only about twice a week. Maybe the body is adjusting???? Urgh. :Banane27: Thanks for any hints for a jump-start!!! Ruthie

Hi Kiana: I too add my words of encouragement. I was SO depressed post-op I would lie in bed crying wondering what in the world did I do to myself. I called the clinic director of the hospital where I was banded and she was wonderful. I called with the purpose of getting a referral for a therapist but she ended up talking to me instead. We talked twice the first week and she e-mails regularly to see how I am doing. I thought I had lost my mind. I am convinced the pain meds made me delusional (my surgeon said some people see "things" on the wall with the pain med). The next two weeks post-op I had a series of crisis type situations with my family and that certainly did not help my mental state. I have now been post-op a month and while I still have those feelings of "why did I do this" here and there, I am mostly feeling up and positive. Prayer helps as well as this website. I had studied this, researched it, and really overdid the preparing for the surgery that when I ended up feeling miserable the first week it truly blindsided me!!!! I never saw the depression, nausea or delusional drugged feeling coming. So my advice is to hang in there....miserable or not....be honest about how you feel on these pages and know you are not alone. That is a comfort!!!! People have been so nice!!! Let them be nice to you too!!!:biggrin1: