debbieperez55

Glad to see everyone is doing great, Teri, hang in there. Sounds like you are on an emotional roller coaster. I am doing physically great, except right this minute I have chest pain, gas I think - who knows. I just had some cottage cheese and pomagranite applesause and have felt yuck and nauseaus ever since. Maybe I ate too fast. I hate when that happens. Personally life sucks. Hubby lost his job after 15 years and the creap boss didn't give him his final check or his vacation pay. We thought maybe they mailed it, but we have waited long enough. Everyone else got their final checks, but he begged hubby to stay to close up and now nothing. I hate creaps. My Sister-In-Law has Metastatic Lung Cancer, yes it has spread. I am a "care taker" personality. I cannot help myself. I don't think she realizes how bad it is. I think I am more upset than she is. And I am finally loosing again, now that I have my referral and appointment for my fill. Wouldn't you know it, I was at a stand still for over two weeks again, and then I got my referral and the weight is coming off again. I can't figure this out. The good news, I saw my regular Dr. He is so happy. I lost 31 pounds since I saw him two months ago. Now that is putting everything in perspective. He told me my Liver Function is back to normal - The dreaded liver. Remember back before our surgeries and we were so afraid of our livers not shrinking. And now mine has healed. I can't believe it! I really thought it was going to kill me, if my heart didn't. He also told me my cholestrol is normal - NORMAL what a wonderful word, and my blood sugar AC1 or what ever it is called dropped a point and is in the normal range also. The bad thing we discovered - My blood pressure was too low and my pulse was too slow. 94/60 and my pulse 50 ish, I have never heard that! I remember when it was 170/110 and my Dr told me he was afraid I would have a stroke. Now - I have to cut my blood pressure meds in half now. At least I will save money. I did ask for, and he gave me, some "happy pills" - Ativan. I am so afraid the "emotional" will get the best of me. I am not going back to what I was. Hubby keeps sending out resume's, but with thousands loosing their jobs, who wants to hire a 50 year old Traffic Manager. :thumbup: So now my life is upside down. My health is great but the other stuff is falling apart. I am just feeling so down. And to top it off my computer quit sending me email notifications when people post. Does anyone know why it is doing that????? Debbie

What is it that makes us view our bodies in such a distortion. Everytime I have lost significant weight I have always considered myself still fat. And when I was at my highest weight I didn't realize I looked so bloated and large. I mean, it is stupid things. Like before I lost I would only look at myself from the chest up, like my huge butt and stomache wasn't really there. I actually thought those long loose tops hid the bulk of my body. Swollen legs and ankles, only look at your feet in the mornings and then they didn't exist. Health concerns, no problem, they have a pill for that. High blood pressure, they have a pill for that. Except for me it was three pills. Diabetis, they have a pill for that too. Except the pills were not working and my sugar kept creaping up. Cholestrol, no big deal, I am still young and THEY HAVE A PILL FOR THAT. Heart Attack, they do bypass for that. Fatty Liver - okay now that made me stop and think. Liver transplants. Maybe I need to rethink. No one tells you or maybe they did and I didn't listen, okay I know they did and I didn't listen, about what is going to happen a few years down the road if you continue at that weight. I thought I was young and I still had plently of time. Plenty of time to loose weight, plenty of time to start walking. Plenty of time left to get healthy. Bad things only happened to other people, I was fine. Now what was it that ex husband said, repulsed, disgusting. New Hubby, accepted me fat, kind of like it was okay to be me. Okay to be fat, okay to be thin, okay to eat, okay to over eat or under eat. Never belittled me, sneak eating was a thing of the past. If I wanted it, I could finally sit in front of someone and enjoy it. Sneak eating lost it's hold. So maybe it would be okay, okay to change, okay to discover a new way. And now, here I am. I have worked my butt off to loose what I have and I still have more to loose. How did it get this far? How heavy was heavy enough? How much time did I loose? I try to look at myself different now. Try to acknowledge my progress and accept my body as it is. I know I can't go back in time, tell that stupid person that they would end up with saggy hanging skin. But this time I can be different. I can look, really look at me and see progress. Any progress is better than before. Now, if I sit just right and look down at my thighs I see slimness. I cannot believe how much thinner they look. But then if I look at them from another angle I see all the hanging skin and they look quite large. I can look in the mirror and see the difference in my waist, in my arms, are there less dimples in my elbows? Where I end up I don't know, but I'm in it for the long run. I know I will have hanging skin. But, at least there is less. Less stomach, less face, less neck and arms and don't forget the tush. But also, most important, I mean the MOST IMPORTANT, my health is better. When I think that I could have died from a heart attack or complications of diabetis. The band gave me time. And since I will be around longer I think I will accept my body this time, for the first time in my entire life. I may have a hanging stomach and varicose veins, but I now have a strong heart and liver. I think I will dance at my Grandson's wedding in twenty years.

What is it that makes us view our bodies in such a distortion. Everytime I have lost significant weight I have always considered myself still fat. And when I was at my highest weight I didn't realize I looked so bloated and large. I mean, it is stupid things. Like before I lost I would only look at myself from the chest up, like my huge butt and stomache wasn't really there. I actually thought those long loose tops hid the bulk of my body. Swollen legs and ankles, only look at your feet in the mornings and then they didn't exist. Health concerns, no problem, they have a pill for that. High blood pressure, they have a pill for that. Except for me it was three pills. Diabetis, they have a pill for that too. Except the pills were not working and my sugar kept creaping up. Cholestrol, no big deal, I am still young and THEY HAVE A PILL FOR THAT. Heart Attack, they do bypass for that. Fatty Liver - okay now that made me stop and think. Liver transplants. Maybe I need to rethink. No one tells you or maybe they did and I didn't listen, okay I know they did and I didn't listen, about what is going to happen a few years down the road if you continue at that weight. I thought I was young and I still had plently of time. Plenty of time to loose weight, plenty of time to start walking. Plenty of time left to get healthy. Bad things only happened to other people, I was fine. Now what was it that ex husband said, repulsed, disgusting. New Hubby, accepted me fat, kind of like it was okay to be me. Okay to be fat, okay to be thin, okay to eat, okay to over eat or under eat. Never belittled me, sneak eating was a thing of the past. If I wanted it, I could finally sit in front of someone and enjoy it. Sneak eating lost it's hold. So maybe it would be okay, okay to change, okay to discover a new way. And now, here I am. I have worked my butt off to loose what I have and I still have more to loose. How did it get this far? How heavy was heavy enough? How much time did I loose? I try to look at myself different now. Try to acknowledge my progress and accept my body as it is. I know I can't go back in time, tell that stupid person that they would end up with saggy hanging skin. But this time I can be different. I can look, really look at me and see progress. Any progress is better than before. Now, if I sit just right and look down at my thighs I see slimness. I cannot believe how much thinner they look. But then if I look at them from another angle I see all the hanging skin and they look quite large. I can look in the mirror and see the difference in my waist, in my arms, are there less dimples in my elbows? Where I end up I don't know, but I'm in it for the long run. I know I will have hanging skin. But, at least there is less. Less stomach, less face, less neck and arms and don't forget the tush. But also, most important, I mean the MOST IMPORTANT, my health is better. When I think that I could have died from a heart attack or complications of diabetis. The band gave me time. And since I will be around longer I think I will accept my body this time, for the first time in my entire life. I may have a hanging stomach and varicose veins, but I now have a strong heart and liver. I think I will dance at my Grandson's wedding in twenty years.

:tt2: I officially hate my scale! :cool2: I think it has it out for me! :mad: I don't know why, haven't I always avoided it at all costs over the years to prevent it from experiencing damage? After all, for years I went to great lengths to stay off of it, preventing it a lot of needless pain that might have been caused by my increasing size. :eek: Shouldn't it be a little gratefull! Maybe it got lonely :crying:, or maybe it isn't use to all the attention I have shown it lately . Wouldn't you think it would be grateful that I weigh a whole lot less and it doesn't cry everytime I step on it?!?!? I mean really, why can't we just be friends. Well, it it is going to treat me that way, I think I shall just make friends with my mirror :rose:. We have been strangers far too long. :wub: And for the first time in my life I kind of like what I have been seeing lately.... A little tonge in cheek :ciappa: to brighten your day. Hope it brought a smile to your face. :grouphug: I have lost over 60 pounds! I cannot believe the change in me! Take care Debbie

Teri, just keep going. You are doing fantastic! I was finally approved for my 2nd fill. I was told by the person in the Drs office that my IPA Group questioned the need for a fill so soon. EXCUSE ME! I had my last fill on 10-23, over two months ago. I asked if they had any idea how this band really works and why did they approve me for the band if they are not going to allow me the tools to make it work. I them her that a lot of people in our group have had 3 or 4 fills! She agrees, once every 6 weeks should not be a problem. I will have to call my insurance co. So much for HMOs. But I am stuck, it is all I have. I am down 61 pounds, 80 all total, but I am now loosing about a pound a week. I know that is what we were promised and what we expect, BUT, you know in our hearts we enjoyed the quick loses we experienced at first. I know, slow and steady is nice, but 4 pounds a month can drive you crazy too! Is anyone else having trouble with their insurance about their fills???? Just wondered. Take Care Debbie

I used baby food for my fruit and veggies, but for the meat, I ground up my own chicken. Added a little chicken broth and made chicken salad. Same with Tuna. I remember the baby food meat from 30 years ago and there was no way that was going to touch my lips. I still keep baby food veggies for emergencies. Never know when it will come in handy. Debbie:blush:

After a full year without soda, I don't miss it most the time, but occasionally, I want some. The Crystal Light lemonade is awfully tart for me, I started using Wyler brand fruit punch, raspberry flavor, etc... It's a little of a softer flavor. I Water it down a little. The Special K Protein mixers are a decent way to get protein in too. You mentioned the Wyler Brand. I too prefer it. I use to get it at my Walgrens. They no longer carry it. Where do you find yours. AND I water mine down too. I am now up to 1 single packet to 32 ounces of water, double the water. Kind of feel it might be a little more healthy, and more water! And yes, I miss the diet soda too. The other day I watched someone open one and I missed the first sip. JUST LIKE A DRUG ADDICT. But my band means more to me than anything and I will NEVER have SODA again. My personal choice, one well worth it. Besides I don't miss the chronic accute gastritis and constant belching.

Yesterday was the worse New Year's Eve I have ever experienced. My Sister-In-Law was just told by her Doctor that she has Lung Cancer. It is in her lungs, bronchi, trachea, esophagus, on her adrenal glads, in her lymph nodes and she has something on her liver. She also suffers from headaches, so now I wonder, is it there too? She goes for a biopsy next week. So there I was, wrapped up in my own life, my husband's company just moved and he lost his job. At 50 and in this job market prospects are not that great. Sister-In-Law was sick, complained about a cough and headache. Said it was her sinuses. I even took her to the ER once. They gave her more meds than you would believe. Vicodine and cough syrup up the gazoo. And what did I do, I thought she was exaggerating to get attention and out of work. A drama queen, a princess. And now I feel like crap. I went over to her house yesterday, swallowed my pride, and became the real person I know I am. I became compassionate, understanding, and took control. I read the report and tried to the best of my ability to explain all the "medical speak" and put it into terms she could understand while still giving hope. I told her today is the start of her new life, the past is the past. She was scared, who wouldn't be, and thought she was going to die. I saw my duty to give her hope, encouragement, but also to tell it to her straight. She has the fight of her life in front of her and she needs to be strong. How could I have been so wrapped up in me to allow myself to become so bitter and uncaring? Where was my compassion before this? I am ashamed of myself. Here I have lost all this weight, but I need to keep the authentic self I fought so hard to find. I need to count my blessings. I had a heart attack, but it was small and now that I have lost weight and my cholesterol is down, I am only going to get better. I am exercising and eating right. Pat on the other hand is looking at chemo, radiation or even death. How horrible, to know that cancer is raging through your entire body. How scared she must be. At least I have my family, my husband, mother and daughter. Pat only has us. I need to find balance. I need to do for me, but I also need to be there for Pat. Somehow I think helping her will help me. 2008 - 59 pounds, who knows what 2009 will bring.

Yesterday was the worse New Year's Eve I have ever experienced. My Sister-In-Law was just told by her Doctor that she has Lung Cancer. It is in her lungs, bronchi, trachea, esophagus, on her adrenal glads, in her lymph nodes and she has something on her liver. She also suffers from headaches, so now I wonder, is it there too? She goes for a biopsy next week. So there I was, wrapped up in my own life, my husband's company just moved and he lost his job. At 50 and in this job market prospects are not that great. Sister-In-Law was sick, complained about a cough and headache. Said it was her sinuses. I even took her to the ER once. They gave her more meds than you would believe. Vicodine and cough syrup up the gazoo. And what did I do, I thought she was exaggerating to get attention and out of work. A drama queen, a princess. And now I feel like crap. I went over to her house yesterday, swallowed my pride, and became the real person I know I am. I became compassionate, understanding, and took control. I read the report and tried to the best of my ability to explain all the "medical speak" and put it into terms she could understand while still giving hope. I told her today is the start of her new life, the past is the past. She was scared, who wouldn't be, and thought she was going to die. I saw my duty to give her hope, encouragement, but also to tell it to her straight. She has the fight of her life in front of her and she needs to be strong. How could I have been so wrapped up in me to allow myself to become so bitter and uncaring? Where was my compassion before this? I am ashamed of myself. Here I have lost all this weight, but I need to keep the authentic self I fought so hard to find. I need to count my blessings. I had a heart attack, but it was small and now that I have lost weight and my cholesterol is down, I am only going to get better. I am exercising and eating right. Pat on the other hand is looking at chemo, radiation or even death. How horrible, to know that cancer is raging through your entire body. How scared she must be. At least I have my family, my husband, mother and daughter. Pat only has us. I need to find balance. I need to do for me, but I also need to be there for Pat. Somehow I think helping her will help me. 2008 - 59 pounds, who knows what 2009 will bring.

Happy New Year to all September Samurai. Just waiting for the 5th so the Dr Office can finish the paper work requesting my second fill. Doing okay, but am stalled. But my even my "skinny" pants are falling off and I can really see and feel the difference. I am changing in other ways too. For the first time I handled a "stressfull" situation very differently. In fact, I am going to walk when I am finished posting this. Last night my Sister-In-Law told us that she just found out that she has metastatic lung cancer, yeah on New Years Eve. :Yawn: I read the report, there is cancer every where. For some weird reason my band gets very "tight" when I am stressed and while I was there I felt it. I was strong for her, assured her we would fight, gave her as much a pep talk as you can and then went home and had a protien drink. For the first time in my life I didn't comfort myself with food. No binge, no thoughtless eating. Just later a SF Dark Chocolate Pudding. I guess I am really relearning after all. Well, off to relieve some stress. Debbie

You might want to try some Agave Syrup. It has a high glycemic index and is sweeter than sugar so you need less. Our chef at work uses it all the time as a sugar subsitute. Check our www.melissas.com And yes, I work there, but my Dietician approves of this sweetner. Also, trust me. Try this. Make a pitcher of Crystal Lite Lemonaide. Cut two lemons in half and slice some off. Put the slices in the pitcher. Juice the lemons. Add the juice to the pitcher. I use the bottled stuff and it worked. Add the lemon juice to taste. The tartness of the lemons masks the sweetner. This is how I got off of Diet Pepsi (40 year habbit) and started drinking Crystal Lite. Also, I add more water for weaker lemonaide. But try the Lemons. They will work for other related flavors too. And there is a little pulp in the drink so it looks real, it has fooled a lot of people around here. Please try this, it does work. I promise. :frown: Debbie

Funny, just when you think you don't need this site, you have a bad weekend and you realize you need the support of people who understand. Thanks so much Simone. It is really hard right now. I am not eating things I shouldn't, but I am eating ALL my allowed Snacks. Well I wanted slow, I have it now. :frown: Debbie

Riley, Hey we are almost neighbors :tt1: Well, you are North and I am South :sad: No, I found out after that there was no restriction at surgery. I did ask for a fill immediately so believe it or not my first fill was on my one month anniversary. I was just so determined to make this work and you know, you have swelling in the beginning. I had thought that 5.5 cc would last a long time, but now three months later I realize I needed a fill about 6 weeks later. I think the later fills are just minor tweeks and adjustments. I am hopping for that in January. I am HMO so I need authorization. But I can't be too down on the HMO, they did authorize my Band. :crying: I was on liquids, clear for 5 days and then three weeks of full liquids. Then it was mushies for a few weeks. Next came more softer foods and at 5 months I get a full diet. I definately want my fill before I go there. I have found that dry is bad for me. I have had steak, cut it in tiny pieces and chewed a lot. I got stuck on Soy Sausage, on the day I went to the Dr. He told me this will happen. Had to go back on clear, then full liquids then mushies then back to regular. You have to let your tummy rest after being stuck, it gets pissed off. The weight loss, actually, I got nervous, very very nervous about getting the band and got bad IBS. So I actually lost weight before I saw the Surgeon. Trust me I didn't try to loose weight, I just did. When you have diarreah every day several times a day you tend to loose weight. Once I saw the Dr I didn't do anything to loose weight until I got closer to my surgery date, then I freaked out. About a month before surgery I went to my regular Dr and had gained two pounds :sad:. I went on a personally induced diet. Two protien drinks and a meal a day. I asked my Dietician and she said it was okay. Of course she didn't tell me that they make you do this two weeks before your surgery anyway. Then of course I was on the liquid diet for about a few days before surgery. I was freaked about my liver and that helped me stick to the liquid part. I never ate anything that was not authorized by the Surgeon. :frown: By the time I got further into the process I was actually looking forward to the restrictive part of the band. I was so tired of overeating. I felt like I could eat half a cow and still be hungry and eat more. Not anymore! The band was the best thing I have ever done. No regrets, no looking back. I now love to walk and find it very relaxing and stress relieving. I have gone from a complete couch potato to a "mover and shaker" Okay, I walk funny. But I am down from a 26/28 to a 18. Not bad for an old lady. :thumbup: Debbie

I cannot believe all of you have had so many fills. I have an HMO and need approval. I knew something was wrong around Thanksgiving but didn't say anything. I didn't want the hassel, thought it must be me. Finally I knew, I felt no restriction except when I was upset. Go Figure, maybe I should stay pissed off all the time. Anyway I decided to email my dr and ask for a fill, to tell the truth I was afraid. HE SAID YES. So I called his assistant immediately. Seems he emailed her too. She said she had to request approval from the HMO, call back in a couple days. So I did, she told me there was nothing. CAlled back in a few more, nothing. Finally, right before Christmas she tells me, Oh they need more information and I am out until the 5th of January so if I don't get approval before then you are out of luck. Guess what, no approval. So I call the HMO. Talked to a real sweet person. Asked them why they approved me for the band if they are not going to let me get it adjusted/fills. She told me they received the initial request a week after I was told it was submitted and yes they did ask for more info, but never received it. AND YES, THEY DO WANT ME TO SUCCEED. They will approve the fills, they just need the paperwork. So now I find out it is the STUPID ASSISTANT! :Banane20: Guess who is going to get a call on January 5 beginning at 8am. So my fill is on hold. I will be fine, it is just so hard :sad:. It feels like I have no restriction at all, even though I know that is not true. Thanks for all your support. I couldn't do it without you. Debbie

I hit a GOAL - I am officially under 210!:hurray: 209 this morning. I cannot believe it, three weeks at 215 and I dropped it in a few days. 209 Next stop under 200. I cannot believe it. I am lower than I have been since 1987. I am down to a size 18 and I am taking some of my nice larger clothes to our gathering tonight. If larger relatives want them, they may have them. I cannot believe it. I love my band. It is hard work, but it is worth it. And my blood sugar is hovering around 101-105. I stop taking my meds at 99. That is a big goal for me too. I see my regular Dr in two weeks. I know he will be shocked. I can only hope that he allows me to cut back on my blood pressure meds. My Dr said he would be happy if I could just get under 200. That has been one of my goals for quite a while. I do want to say that I am not embarrassed to tell people what I weigh now. Telling people you almost weight 300 pounds is different than saying you weight 200. I feel better, I can breath when I go upstairs. I can walk and not die. I don't get chest pains all the time. I am just so blown away. I am speachless Debbie :laugh:

Teri, WAY TO GO!!! There is serious space between you and the door. I didn't think of taking my photos like that. That was a FANTASTIC IDEA. Look, this is a SLOW process. I swear my scale is basically standing still now too. Funny thing is I wear a smaller size, a lot smaller. So even though the scale is barely moving, I am shifting. I too posted some pictures. I hate pics of myself, but it is what I HAVE to do. I found a pic of my face at my top and I wanted to VOMIT. You are making good choices, you ARE LOOSING, I can see that door, and a lot of it. You can see that changes. Keep your chin up, you are doing a fantastic job. And the ney sayers, we all know why they are so negitative. Take care, I am so sorry to hear your boys are ill again. Hang in there. Huggs Debbie

Funny, if one more person had tried to "feel bad for me for not eating all the goodies" I was going to scream. Why can't they just understand that I am happy not eating holiday junk. I finally told them I choose not to eat this or that. Was I tempted - YES - but the memories of Holidays past and the amount of food I put away, HUGE AMOUNTS, and the loss of control were still strong memories. It's not one cookie, or one tamale, or one piece of fudge. I did however allow myself extra SF Dark chocolate pudding this holiday.:tongue2: Better choices all around.

Thanks Kiz, I know I was long winded. I liked the feeling so muh after my first fill and it lasted well over a month. See and I was right, TRUST YOUR BODY. You knew how you felt. I will be patient and just keep exercising. I think I just need a little more. I appreciate your help so much. Debbie And the scale finally moved this morning. :tounge_smile:

I agree, I don't have as much time as I use to and usually only look at the top few threads anyway and I know I am missing so much, but it is hard to keep up

Kiz, you have a Realize Band also. When I asked the size I was told they don't have sizes. I had 5.5 cc the first fill and felt great for a while. Then I noticed I was hungry. I didn't trust my body and it got worse and I am at a plateau. I have been stuck for two weeks. I finally emailed my Dr and he authorized a fill, thank goodness. I am waiting for the insurance to give me authorization then I will make my appointment. My Dr makes me do the Floura type of fill and only two Radiologists at USC University Hospital do fills. I am hanging in there but I don't think I will ever make it under 210. Did they have trouble getting the needle for your fills? Anyway, I was just shocked that you knew your size and have had so many fills. I could kick myself for not listening to what I knew was wrong. I didn't assert myself and the Dr Office people who answer the phones are asses and told me I have to see the Dr before I could ask for a fill. Because I am HMO I assumed have to get my Dr, need a visit, to get an authorization for the Surgeon. Then visit the Surgeon, then ask for a fill, then they have to authorize the fill. Now I find out I can email my request. At least I was able to skip a couple steps. But of course the insurance company is dragging their feet and now with Christmas I won't get in to for my fill until after the first of the year. I am so bummed. OH did I mention, The Hospital won't make the appointment with the Radiologist without authorization first. YUCK :tongue_smilie:

Thank you so much. I know the PBing is bad, but I occasionally still burp and I hiccup a lot. Some are very strong hiccups, but nothing life threatening. I just try to relax and wait for the spasm to pass. I thought I was alone. Thank you for makeing me feel normal. Debbie

Double click your ticker. It will take you to the web site. Put in your pin, secret code and hit the update weight data button. (You know I am having to do this while I write so I give the proper instructions) Scroll down to current weight. Enter your weight and the date - I have no idea why we put in the date but I do. Click on next. You are done, you can exit. Next time you go into Lapbandtalk.com your new data will appear. Hope this helps. Debbie

I have to share. I went to my Hubby, amazed at the total. He told me, Wow, that's 5 people. I didn't think of it in those terms, but he lumped all that fat into something he knows. Remember - September Samurai's Kick Butt Debbie

Trust me, once you get a fill, you will notice a difference. Right about now, the swelling of your stomach has gone down and your band is loosing it's zing. Once that fill happens you will get the restriction you need. I know that all Drs are different, but mine allowed Snacks. Also, soft food seems to last longer. Remember, don't drink for 30-60 minutes after meals. Hang in there, welcome to the roller coaster ride. Personally, I love it. I have never been happier. Good Luck and take care. Debbie