Who'sThere

I can't even fathom sex not being worth the effort. I do understand the pain thing a little. I have an arthritic knee and arthritis and limited range of movement in my hips. My bf and I tinker with positions to help maximize the fun and minimize the pain. I'm really sorry things aren't better for you in that area. However, having been on the other side of your situation, I want to ask if the wife is satisfied with no sex? If not, and if you still want to have intimacy and a healthy relationship, please try to do things to please her even if you aren't interested in sex. I told my husband to even fake it if he needed to. At the risk of sounding vulgar, I'll say my lady parts would not know his mouth or hand wasn't in the mood had he just tried. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G890A using the BariatricPal App Oh, and also married 17 years...only one child, but that's enough to complicate things. Lol Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G890A using the BariatricPal App

Poor paramedic, you don't want it??? You don't have the urge at all or issues in your relationship make you not want it with her? Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G890A using the BariatricPal App

Well, if I get any more hyper sexual, I'd be a nympho. Haha. I could tell you how we met, but only in a PM. Haha. Yes, he's over 40, but I'm not quite there. I will say confidence and fun and never absent in our bedroom situations. Haha. I just want to keep turning him on like I do now. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G890A using the BariatricPal App

Loopylulu, we joke all the time about being the couple in the nursing home that gets in trouble for pda. Lol Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G890A using the BariatricPal App

He has an insanely high sex drive. I'm hoping that will help override any possible qualms about skin. Hopefully. That and the fact that we go weeks at a time with only "self-love" and phone sex, so hopefully he will also be so desperate for the real thing that it will be ok. Lol Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G890A using the BariatricPal App

Thank you. Ironing...haha I told him lingerie might help, and he had just eaten a super big meal. He told me if he didn't stop eating, he might need lingerie. I love his sense of humor. He will like the ironing comment. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G890A using the BariatricPal App

Thanks for responding! I am scared to have a revison, but my labs are BAD. My endo doesn't usually recommend surgery, so for him to recommend it to me, I think he feels its the only way to get my levels in check. He actually showed me some studies and graphs and such to support his reasoning to me that with my issues, i will not achieve enough "sustained" weightloss with diet and exercise alone to keep me healthy. I have a family friend who can no longer drive due to diabetes complications. I have a beautiful daughter who I fought to grow for 32 weeks and who fought for her life for 58 days in nicu. I feel I owe it to her to do whatever it takes to be healthy enough to see her grow up. In short, I'm scared to do it, but I'm more scared not to.

So, I am seeing the surgeon tomorrow about a revision to either sleeve or bypass. I think with either I will likely lose a lot of weight, and I'm worried already about the excess skin. I didn't worry before my first surgery because hubs and I didn't have sex very often at all. I figured if I looked ok in clothes, it would all be okay. I didn't plan on being with anyone else. Long story short, hubs and I had sex exactly twice since my lapband in 2009. However, I'm in a different relationship now. I have asked my boyfriend of 2.5 years to give me his serious opinions on how he will feel about the excess skin I will probably have. I even sent him some pics to consider. Our relationship is long distance and we never see each other any less than 6 weeks between visits. So, he will not have the chance to gradually get used to the skin. It will be a big transition between visits. He admits the visual might be tough to get used to, but he says he loves me for me and it will be okay. My question is have any of you had any issues with skin affecting your sex life. Also, do you have any lingerie tips or anything like that for concealing the skin? I've not had a revision, and I'm already worried about feeling sexy in my skin. I'm accustomed to feeling sexy even in my large body. I'm just no so sure about a thin but saggy body.

I cheated on my husband after my band, but I don't know if I would blame the weightloss exactly. I was seduced, but it was easy for him to do so because of issues that were present in my marriage already, before the band and after. I don't think this particular man would have hit on me had I been at my heaviest, though. That affair ended badly, but others followed. My husband found out. Once I had cheated, I found it so much easier on my conscience to continue to do so. We did counseling, but infedelity was off the table as a therapy topic along with all our real issues (per husband) so therapy was really a waste of time and money. Long story short, I am in a long term relationship now with someone other than my husband. My husband found out about this relationship a little over a year into it. We talked about it, and I asked for a divorce. He doesn't want one. My current boyfriend lives 800 miles away and because of his job and children, he can't move here for another 5 years. Husband said he is relieved to find out about this relationship. He wants to wait until bf moves here to do the divorce because he doesn't want to share custody of our daughter. Although he doesn't really want me in a marraige sense anymore and knows about bf he still acts resentful at times. (Other times, he is perfectly fine with everything.) It's not a situation I would recommend for anyone. Most of my friends know, but we don't really advertise our arrangement because his mother already treated me badly and it would be terrible if she knew. If I had it to do all over again, I would have divorced my husband years ago. However, then I wouldn't have my daughter. So... bf and I call our long distance arrangement our marathon, and we know it takes work. One day, though, we plan to be together both in geography and romance. This guy, for what it's worth, would have been interested in me no matter my size. That is one of the reasons I love him. He loves me for who I am, not what I look like.

I understand your frustration. Here's my story. My pregnancy was complicated too, but in a different way than yours. I was banded July 7, 2009. I started at 283 and got down to 218 by March. I held steady between 223-228 until I got pregnant in 2012. I had a very tough (but so welcomed!) pregnancy and got up to 244. I was hospitalized Dec 20 and she was born Dec 28. I was discharged Dec 31, but we didn't go home until Feb 23. By then, I was back at 228. Fast forward until today, and I'm sitting here at 267. Apparently, the stress of her birth sent me into a Hashimoto's tail spin. My thyroid was decimated, but I didn't know that until this March. My levels were all over the place but because of staff changes at my primary care office, no single person was really keeping track. Thankfully, my neighbor who is now a FNP working in that office took a look at saw that something was fishy. She referred me to an endocrinologist. Despite being prediabetic and having PCOS and thyroid issues, I had never been referred. I have tried to get back on track several times, and nothing seems to work. I used a trained for months, I did weightwatchers, phentermine and Topamax, myfitnesspal, you name it. It was the old me again... I had to have my band completely unfilled while I was pregnant due to hyperemesis. I was at 5cc in a 10cc band. Since then, I have not been able to tolerate a fill over 2.5cc. Still about 3 days a week and sometimes more, I can't eat anything except sliders stuff until later afternoon or early evening. By then I have either eaten a ton of garbage or am starving. When I can eat, I don't get full any faster than before surgery. It's like the only thing my band does for me now is cause me trouble. My endo wants me to have a revision to sleeve or bypass. I see the surgeon tomorrow. I don't know how I feel about this. I chose band for many reasons, and I'm sad to now think I made the wrong choice and have to essentially start over.

Is anyone still around? How is everyone? I started at 283 and got down to 218 by March. I held steady between 223-228 until I got pregnant in 2012. I had a very tough (but so welcomed!) pregnancy and got up to 244. I was hospitalized Dec 20 and she was born Dec 28. I was discharged Dec 31, but we didn't go home until Feb 23. By then, I was back at 228. Fast forward until today, and I'm sitting here at 267. Apparently, the stress of her birth sent me into a Hashimoto's tail spin. My thyroid was decimated, but I didn't know that until this March. My levels were all over the place but because of staff changes at my primary care office, no single person was really keeping track. Thankfully, my neighbor who is now a FNP working in that office took a look at saw that something was fishy. She referred me to an endocrinologist. Despite being prediabetic and having PCOS and thyroid issues, I had never been referred. I have tried to get back on track several times, and nothing seems to work. I used a trained for months, I did weightwatchers, phentermine and Topamax, myfitnesspal, you name it. It was the old me again... I had to have my band completely unfilled while I was pregnant due to hyperemesis. Since then, I have not been able to tolerate a fill over 2.5cc. Still about 3 days a week and sometimes more, I can't eat anything except sliders stuff until later afternoon or early evening. By then I have either eaten a ton of garbage or am starving. When I can eat, I don't get full any faster than before surgery. It's like the only thing my band does for me now is cause me trouble. My endo wants me to have a revision to sleeve or bypass. I see the surgeon tomorrow. I don't know how I feel about this. I chose band for many reasons, and I'm sad to now think I made the wrong choice and have to essentially start over. I'd love to hear from others how your band has held up for you. I want to hear successes and failures. Anyone here?

I'm thinking this may be my situation. Probably 3-4 days a week, I can't eat things I should because of my band. I'm thinking the issues with it may make it so that I can get it done sooner as long as I'm a candidate for having the revision in one surgery.

My endo suggests I have a revision to sleeve or bypass from my band. I am pretty sure insurance will approve a revision pretty easily as I have regained almost all my weight. My question is this: My insurance requires a 6 month preop diet. (I did that with the band.) Will that requirement stand for a revision, or does the fact that I have a band serve as my medically supervised weightloss attempt?

Can I butt in here? I had Lapband in 2009, but my endo thinks I need a revision. I lost 65 pounds initially and kept off 60 of those until I had my daughter. I had a complicated pregnancy, and lost weight through most of it. Thanks to preeclampsia, I did manage to gain 16 pounds. All of that was gone before my preemie came home from the hospital. Since then, I have gained back all but 15 pounds of my highest weight. My insurance required a 6 month diet before my first surgery. Do you think this will be required again, or will the fact that I have a band negate that requirement this time? Also, anything else you want to throw in there will be welcome.

I had LapBand in 2009, but my endo. thinks I should have a revision to sleeve or bypass. Insurance required 6 month supervised diet before my initial surgery. Will they require this again before a revision surgery or does having the band itself negate that requirement?

Me, Me, Me! I was banded in July 2009 and lost 65 pounds. I have kept off (depending on the time of the month) between 50-55 of those pounds for three years. (Lost all of these pounds in about 8 months.) After a miscarraige 8 years ago and unsuccessful fertility treatments 6 years ago, hubs and I were about to adopt when BAM! I got a BFP!!! We have stopped even thinking about ttc, and then it happened. Three years out from surgery, but I will be 12 weeks in two days. So far, so good! Best of luck to you. It can happen!

AMEN!

Here is my quick version... Basically, I scheduled my first appt. in October 2008. I couldn't see the doctor until Dec, and it was July 7, 2009 that I had surgery. You can do the math, but it was a long process. I'm glad it was, though. During that time, I did a lot of research reading threads on here, reading on the Internet, talking to others who had the surgery,etc. I also did a lot of praying and planning. My doctor and my insurance required a 6 month diet before my surgery. During that time, I didn't lose much weight, but to be completely honest with myself, I didn't try all that hard. I didn't have a certain goal I had to reach (which is required with some ins. companies), and I had kind of the last supper syndrome. Basically, I thought I'd better eat it now... Well, I wish I had tried more dilligently pre-op, but what's done is done. My first five months are when I lost virtually all my weight. I was at this weight by Christmas last year. I have lost just at 60 pounds. The goal weight in my signature is my personal mini goal, but my surgeon wanls me to get 59 pounds lighter than that. I am now at what my gyn calls my body's "happy weight." I have PCOS and this is the weight that I have found to be easiest to maintain over my adult years as well as the weight at which I have been most healthy. WIth that being said, when I was smaller than this, I was sick most likely because of the route I had taken to lose the weight and the speed at which I lost it. (Another long story for another time.) I have to admit that I haven't exercised much, so I know I haven't used my tool to its full advantage. I know I am still not at a healthy weight, but if I never lost another pound, I am still glad I had the surgery. I would never have lost 60 pounds on my own, and I have NEVER maintained a weight for a year. Just that makes it worth it for me. Right now, I have a good amount of restriction, but maybe even too much. I find it hard to eat anything at all until after lunch time and that is not a good thing. I may actually go in for a small unfill in a few weeks. Getting your fill level just right is probably the hardest part and a major key in success. This is definitely not the easy road some people think it is, but it really isn't that bad either. Just read as much as you can (like a previous poster said) and pray about it. If you think it is right for you...go for it!

HILARIOUS! I had mine fall off once, but luckily I was alone in my room at work, not in public. Feels good, though, doesn't it? Way to go!

Hey, ladies! It's me AGAIN. I sure didn't stick to my checking in once a week. LOL! However, I am still hoping to do better! I am that optimisic one that never gives up...at least I try to be. So, here is my update. I am staying between 223-226. That is where I've been for basically a year. I'm not making a resolution per-say to lose more weight, but I am hoping to exercise more this year. I think I have found the motivation. My husband bought me Just Dance 2 today for the Wii after a friend brought it over last night for our NYE party. It was so much fun, but definitely a work out. I have already played up a sweat today, and I have a "play date" with a friend for Tuesday. (Hubs and I will "play" tomorrow and Monday, but he works Tuesday.) If I have to do it alone, I will, but doing it with a friend seems so much more fun! So, how are the rest of you? Also, while I may not check in here every day, I am on Facebook every day even if it's just my phone....so if you want to look me up, I am Amy Thompson Ivey. If you request me, you might need to send a message telling me you are from here because I don't accept random requests. Best of luck to all of you for 2011!

Hey, gals! It's me ringing in. I also have lost virtually nothing since Christmas. I was down to 218 in March, but since then I'm usually back up to 224 which is where I was at Christmas, I think. Some days I'm up there, and some days I'm down as far as 219, but mostly I sit around 221-223. I don't know really which came first, the chicken or the egg. I don't know if I have slacked since I'm not here for the support, or if I haven't been here for the support because I've slacked. Know what I mean? All I know is when I was checking in here more often, I was doing better. Reading this has helped me to realize that I'm NOT alone. The rest of this weight will not fall off on it's own. SO...I am now resolved to check in at least once a week. Hopefully, you ladies can help me hold my feet to the fire and vice versa! No matter where we are today, every pound lost forever is one pound healtier. Some may lose less and some may lose more, but this is a personal journey each of us must take. Ladies, this won't be easy, but we can do it! Whether that be lose or maintain, we can!

You are so right about needing that cloth napkin! Shoot, I may need a collapsable cup! I was eating with my family at Logan's last weekend, and I got that stuck feeling. Well, before I could get to the bathroom, I PBed in my mouth. I walked into the ladies' room and all the stalls were full and there were three women in line. I had to spit it out in the sink because I couldn't even get close enough to the trashcan! When a lady walked up, I politely did my best to obscure the sink and told her she needed to use the other one. Of course, I piqued her curiosity, so she had to look. She asked, "What is that, Honey?" I told her I got a little sick, and she was happy to look away. I got a glob of those brown bathroom papertowels and cleaned out the sink. Now, that is an experience I hope I never have to repeat!!!:smile2:

Thanks, folks. Actually, the goal in my ticker is my first goal which is to get under 200. I actually have 79 pounds to be at my final goal. I think I will keep my appointment and talk to him. I just want to make SURE everything is okay... Also, I have been PBing a lot...almost every day...another reason to talk to him, I suppose! Thanks...sometimes I just need reassurance. I don't have anyone else to talk to about it since no one close to me has had the band.

I agree with HiMow...this diet is to heal. Don't fret. Give it a while. And remember, as hard as it is, this too shall pass. It sounds like you are doing great to me. Chin up!

So here is my story: I had my last fill about a month ago. Immediately, the amount I could eat was greatly restricted. That's a good thing. However, I soon started PBing quite often--like almost every day. In the morning, I usually can't handle anything, even liquid. By about ten or so, I am starving. At this time I can handle yogurt usually. My lunch is at 11:25. At lunch I can usually eat a few bites of solid food. Then I am starving again by like 3:30. At supper (which is about 4:30 at my house) I can eat a little more solid food, between a 1/2 a cup and a cup. If I were to eat later than that, say 9 or 10, I could eat substantially more. I usually don't though. What I eat at 4:30 usually keeps me from being hungry for the rest of the night. It doesn't keep me from wanted to eat, but it does keep me from being hungry. I do have to try really hard to get all my Protein in, but I usually do. Now, if this were all of the story, I wouldn't be worried. I also have a hard time drinking throughout the day. When I can drink (not too soon before or after meals), I have to sip which makes it hard to get all my fluids in. Well, today, I woke up with a fever of 101.6 and very bad pain in my lower back. My mother-in-law who is a nurse said I am probably dehydrated. So, I have stayed home, rested, and tried to drink today. Since 7 AM I have drunk 32 ounces of tea. At about 1 PM, I drank a Protein Drink (about 12 ounces). I had a hard time getting that down. So, I called and made an appointment to see my doctor on Monday. At about 6 PM, I ate the inside of a frozen burrito (I know it's not the greatest choice, but it was the softest protein source other than a shake I have at home) and got that down. It amounted to probably less than a quarter of a cup of meat and Beans. So, here is my question: Is this normal? Do others have days like this or do you think something is wrong? I had been at a plateau for quite some time, and I am just now breaking that. Now, I am wavering on whether I should keep my appointment or not. I have lost five pounds since my last fill and prior to that I had lost five pounds in about three months. I hesitate to get an unfill, but I definitely want to be healthy. Any opinions, comment, and personal experience would be appreciated. Thank you in advance!!!