BoredFatGirl

I feel like something always goes wrong when things seem to be going in the right direction for me. I turned 30 this year. My husband planned a romantic trip to Paris together for my birthday weekend to celebrate. That was mid-March, so it ended up being postponed due to the coronavirus pandemic and our country closing the borders. I was honestly looking forward to it -- a weekend where we didn't have to worry about the kids, where we could just enjoy each other, be intimate, go on an adventure, and be able to forget about everything else going on in our lives right now (which is honestly a lot of ****). I figured that we didn't need to leave our country to do that, though. We could figure out something at home since we would still have the weekend alone, and I got comfortable with that idea. That is, until our babysitter canceled on us completely, refusing to watch them for even a few hours. Great. It didn't turn out to be a bad weekend, but it wasn't what I had wished or even planned for. ? Anyways, I still had my surgery at the end of April to look forward to, so forget my birthday. No big deal. I've managed to keep my weight below where it needed to be in order to get surgery (down roughly 50lbs). I have stopped smoking completely & picked up nicotine-free vaping. I was really excited that this next chapter was getting started for me.. And I really hoped that it wasn't going to get canceled with how soon it was, that maybe things wouldn't have escalated as much as they have by now, and I would be okay.. But no, I got the email.. The email from the hospital telling me that my surgery is going to be postponed, that they would let me know by July 1st when I can expect my next date for surgery.. Another two months before I even hear back on when my next surgery date is, and even that isn't promised.. We don't know how far or how long this COVID-19 pandemic is going to take to be over with, or even to just where it can be managed to a point where hospitals can return to a normal routine. It's really getting me down and it's been hard to stay positive. I've stopped posting on here.. I am not sure why. Maybe I was ashamed or felt like I had no reason to be posting here.. These forums and having a set date was what was keeping me on track and motivated to keep going. Instead, I've turned back to food as a source of comfort. My diet has done a complete 180 and I am over-eating all the **** I shouldn't be eating in the first place. I've gained 8lbs back already. I hate how easy it is to put on weight. I hate how weak I am, how easy I can cave and give in to bad habits. I hate seeing myself sabotage all the work I've put into losing the weight I have. It's so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel sometimes.. My head is not where I need it to be.. I feel stuck and I am just overall unhappy.

I am attending my patient seminar tomorrow, which is going to be a 1 on 1 session due to me not knowing the primary language used in my country. I assume that this is just going to explain the surgery and how I will expected to live afterwards.. I am curious as to what questions I should be asking in the event that they 'miss' something? What were common questions asked during your meetings (whether from you or someone else)? I just want to be ready, but I've completely blanked and feel like I am just going to check off another requirement on the list, ya know?

I'd like to know the same thing!

First appointment was December 9th, 2019 and my surgery is scheduled for April 27th, 2020.

Absolutely! It's not easy, but most things worth something aren't, right? You got this!

I have a hell of a time trying to go to sleep when my stomach is growling at me. Water will help, but also timing your meals can be really helpful as well! I am not sure what your pre-op diet consists of, but I currently eat roughly 600 calories a day, focusing on protein. For instance, when I get up, I go as long as possible without eating, then I have a protein shake. Roughly 4-5 hours later, I have a can of tuna with mayo & sriracha. After that is highly dependent on when I plan on going to sleep. If my husband and I decide to stay up and watch our shows, I like to snack, so I've pushed my last meal towards that time (which is roughly 200g of fat-free yogurt) so I don't feel like I am going without and so that I don't feel hungry before bed.

I think it would be a good thing for you to be able combat the real world by staying with your night shifts, honestly. Day shift co-workers can be just as bad and you will find food almost anywhere you go (going out with friends, celebrating with family, etc..) and those are the moments you have to practice sheer will-power (and come prepared). I am not sure what the current issue for you is, but first thing first, make sure you are tracking your calories and macros. I use MyFitnessPal and plan for what I am going to eat the day prior, so I don't find myself in a situation where I have to come up with something on the spot (since it's rare that I ever do that successfully). If your weight loss efforts aren't going well during night shifts and its because you are used to snacking all night, replace those snacks with healthy alternatives in portioned amounts. Make sure you are packing your own lunch. Be mindful of what you are eating. If a co-worker asks if you want something from McDonalds, you'll be able to say "no thanks, I brought something from home". It's a new way of living for us, where we have to be able to handle what's gonna be thrown at us.

I haven't lost as much weight as you, but I can definitely understand what you are feeling. I have lost roughly 30lbs and on some days, if I'm not bloated, I feel like maybe there is a bit of a difference. I squeezed myself into something the other day that I hadn't been able to put on prior and still feel like I could breath.. My husband told me later that he could see the changes at that point (and probably because I am so used to dressing in baggy clothes when at home normally). I agree with you and others, though, about reaching out to a therapist. It's a big change to go through and you don't want to feel like you've done all this hard work, see a smaller number, but still think you look exactly the same. I am worried myself about still feeling like the 'fat girl' once I have lost the weight, and I think a lot of other people struggle with the same issue as well.

That makes a lot of sense actually. I started at roughly 320lbs and am down to 277lbs.. I still need to lose at least 100lbs more. I hoped that it would magically disappear once I had surgery, but I do know that it slows down and then its back to being up to the person and their will power to keep it going from there. Thanks for the heads up!

I had my first appointment about getting the surgery in December 2019. It was just starting a medical journal for me. I was offered surgery during my second meeting in January 2019. During my first appointment with my dietitian (yesterday), I was given a date for surgery, which is April 27th. I live in Denmark, meet the state's requirements of having it done for free, so I am only on my surgeon's program, I assume. The jumping through hoops part for me was simply getting blood work done, an EKG taken, a stool sample given and some weight loss. I also still have to do my 1-on-1 patient seminar thing in March, but I've got the date regardless for surgery. I think I got my date so soon because I was pretty confident in my meeting about what I needed to do before and after surgery since I had researched a lot, had my current diet habits ready to be shared, and talked about what my support systems through out this are and would be.

Is there a reason for wishing you lost more pre-op? I am just curious. I don't plan on slowing down, but my mother did just send me some girl scout cookies, so I am definitely going to have another stall for a bit if I eat any. ?

Despite how many of us that exist these days, we are still the minority. I imagine that a waiter/waitress just makes the automatic assumption that everyone will be getting a full meal and any appetizers are meant for before the main dishes come out. I get them feeling... perhaps confused? Though, I have gone out with my mom who hasn't had surgery and will order just a plate of fries or something similar as her meal and I don't *think* I've heard anyone question it. Either way, I can understand it from both sides of the coin. I guess we just need to practice the script of 'I would like this appetizer as my meal, so please wait to bring it out until x gets their meal delivered!' xD

I keep yogurt packed in my fridge. It's really the easiest grab-and-go that I have. Tuna is also a staple for me. I just add a little mayo, sriracha, and lemon juice when I'm ready to eat! Yum!

You all look amazing. I love seeing the progress! I can't wait to have progress pictures worthy of sharing! ?

Ayy, that's the dream! Thanks, y'all! ♥

I saw my dietitian for the first time today. She was really impressed with how much weight I've lost (and the fact that I had already met my goal weight to be eligible for surgery prior to our meeting). We talked for a bit, told her how I had been doing a lot of research on the surgery, using these forums for support, and showed her my MyFitnessPal app, so she could see how/what I was eating. She told me she'd like me to try breaking up my meals from being 3 daily to 6, so that I'd be more comfortable after surgery with the frequency of how I would need to be eating then. Good advice! She also mentioned that I would need to get an appointment with the nurse before she could schedule me for the surgery, but when she went to talk to her and explained how confident I was and how much I progressed, she went ahead and set up my surgery date, anyways!! April 27th! ♥ The only appointment I have left is a 1-on-1 patient seminar, which is March 6th. I'm so excited, you guys!

I have personally been using the keto diet to lose weight and it's been pretty 'easy' on most days. Low carb means I can't enjoy the pasta and bread, but high protein and fat means I can still have a ton of other things. My normal daily diet, as of late, is usually a vanilla protein shake for breakfast, tuna with some mayo, sriracha, and lemon juice for lunch, and low-fat yogurt for dinner. Though, there are a ton of options -- these are just work for me and lets me hit my macros that I need. I have slipped up, but it's realizing that its one mistake and that isn't going to define your success in weight loss, is huge. You can take that mistake and continue making more, eating bad for the rest of the day, week, month, etc.. and then you will be right back where you start. The other option? Realize that you had a weak moment, don't get down on yourself too much, and move on with the RIGHT foods. You can do this!

If we say no, do we get our money back or a voucher for another meal because if so.. ? ? I'm awful! LOL

I caved today. I'm being visited by Aunt Flo by the first time in months, am experiencing horrible cramps, and my cravings are through the roof. I asked my husband to grab me a chocolate bar. He even gave me a chance to back out, asking if I was sure it was a good idea. I told him it probably wasn't, but I still wanted it and sent him on his way. It was good, but I feel guilty. I'm already going through a stall with my weight loss. ?

That's fantastic! I am so happy for you! Keep up the hard work! ?

Thanks for the responses, ladies! I had been basically begging to finally have my period and now that it's here.. I wish I could take it back. ? As @MsMocie said, it's what you'd normally go through, but 1000x worse. Time to ride this one out..

My periods have always been irregular. Before today, I hadn't had my period in over 150 days. I was diagnosed with PCOS around August last year. I was told weight loss and exercise were my only hopes of salvation. I get pretty bad back pain, so I don't exercise very much, but I try to here and there. I've been really working on my weight loss since December through dieting. This past week, I have not lost ANYTHING. My diet is all the same **** I normally eat and I may even be moving more now than previously. Went to the bathroom today and found out I had a surprise visit from Aunt Flo (on Valentine's Day, no less - perfect timing, as usual). Now I am sitting here, having cramps from hell, wondering if maybe the weight loss stall has to do with my menstrual cycle starting back up. Anyone else experience this? Here's to hoping my body will figure this out soon and get back to making progress. ?

I’m happy to hear that it was a smooth operation this time around! Did you go for bypass?

It is a bit different here in Denmark since we don't have insurance requirements, but the program itself still has prerequisites. I can share what I have needed to do this far. Keep in mind that I am still pre-op, though! First thing I needed to do was get my starting weight logged. After that, I needed to get an EKG, blood work, and give a stool sample. I am expected to lose 8-12% of my starting weight or more and maintain that up to the date of surgery. I still have to meet with my dietitian and have a 1 on 1 patient seminar (due to me not being a native and not being fluent in the language). I was told to just call in once I met the weight requirements and they would schedule a surgery. I did call and get weighed at the clinic, but have not got a date yet. I assume this is because I still need to meet with my dietitian and have my 1 on 1 meeting, though. However, they may want my dietitian to monitor my weight for a while prior. I can certainly keep you updated! My meeting with the dietitian is on the 18th. Wish me luck!

I think the main thing that helps me is remembering that what I've been eating and how I have been eating all this time obviously hasn't been in my best interest. I feel like this is the fresh start that I need to 'fix' myself (my body and eating habits) before it messes up anymore aspects of my life.