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How do you psychologically deal?



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I really thought once I got my date that I would be over the moon with excitement. However, it has set in today that this is really going to happen. That being said, I am the regular amount of nervous about the surgery - but moreso I'm trying to deal with the mental health aspect of this.

I know this is going to be life altering and I won't be able to eat what I once could or like I have in the past. Has anyone else struggled with this thought? If so, how did you overcome it or how are you coping?

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I think the main thing that helps me is remembering that what I've been eating and how I have been eating all this time obviously hasn't been in my best interest. I feel like this is the fresh start that I need to 'fix' myself (my body and eating habits) before it messes up anymore aspects of my life.

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I think all of us felt that way. It took me three years to make the decision to have the surgery and I almost didn't go through with it because I was afraid that I would never be able to eat "normally" again. I was still unsure whether I was doing the right thing even as I was being wheeled into surgery--no kidding!

All I can tell you is that I'm now on the other side and I could not be happier that I did this. No, I don't eat like I used to--and I'm thrilled that I don't. I no longer crave unhealthy stuff and don't miss eating as much as I used to. Also, the payoff in terms of improved health and energy is more than worth it.

Hang in there!

Edited by Recidivist

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I over prepared psychologically and the first 6 months were an a breeze. For me its been tough psychologically dealing with the end of the honeymoon period but being short of my goal but still very happy with the results. As you will see from this community everyone is so much happier post surgery and often you hear the biggest regret was not doing it sooner.

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Instead of thinking about the food you will miss, instead think about all the things you won't miss!

For me, I will never miss:

Not fitting in an airplane seat

Hiding from cameras and not posting an pics of myself on Facebook

Avoiding social situations (high school reunions!) where I might run into someone who didn't know I was fat.

Not being able to cross my legs

Huffing and puffing after climbing 1 flight of stairs

Wearing stretch pants that looked horrible b/c they were the only thing that fit

Eating obnoxious amounts of food....yeah, I'll never miss that!

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1 hour ago, Brent701 said:

I over prepared psychologically and the first 6 months were an a breeze. For me its been tough psychologically dealing with the end of the honeymoon period but being short of my goal but still very happy with the results. As you will see from this community everyone is so much happier post surgery and often you hear the biggest regret was not doing it sooner.

@Brent701 I'm sorry the last part of the "so called honeymoon" period has been stressful to you. Think back on WHY this is. My theory: In the first 6 months you were gung-ho and super compliant about your diet, and the weight was falling off you and the scale was MOVING.

Fast forward to the last 6 months: We ALL begin experimenting with the things that got us MO in the first place. Weight loss slows to a crawl. The scale is NOT moving much and can move up. It isn't offering the motivational reward of seeing the constant down tick. The cravings increase as dietary latitude increases. Diet fatigue sets in. Life begins again for many of us cuz we feel so much butter.

And we lose focus of the end goal.

That is the end of the honeymoon period. But it doesn't have to be. The honeymoon ends when WE say it ends by what we put in our mouths and how much we put in our mouths. Any one of us 18+ months out can STILL lose weight--all the weight we CHOOSE to lose. It's not some magic bell you ring...welp, your 18 months are up kid, sorry, you didn't finish. Wah. Wah. Wahhhhhh. Nope. Weight loss can and WILL continue as long as you are focusing on your food plan and working it. And doing the physical side of it too. I know that's a dirty word for you.

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I used to think eating 3000-3500 calories a day was normal. It's not. I now eat 1500-1700 to maintain, and I can OCCASIONALLY go over that and still maintain my weight. If I go over too often in a given week, my weight starts creeping up. That's actually a lot more normal.

before I had surgery, there were a couple of days when I paid a lot of attention to what my female co-workers ate for lunch. There were a couple of them who ate what I considered "normal" lunches. A sandwich, a bag of chips, a couple of Cookies, maybe an apple. Of course that might have been less than what they would have eaten had they gone to a restaurant for lunch - which might have been something like a burger, fries, and Coke. But MOST of the women I observed ate these ridiculously small lunches (or I would have considered them so at the time). A thing of yogurt with half a bagel. Or half a sandwich and an apple. Maybe some raw vegetables. I was actually pretty surprised by that.

I think the women who ate the "normal" (e.g., heavy) lunches were probably super active - or were blessed with really strong metabolism. Most of the women ate really lightly, though - pretty much the way I have to eat NOW to maintain my weight (and none of these women are WLS patients - they're just "normal" people...)

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1 hour ago, catwoman7 said:

I think the women who ate the "normal" (e.g., heavy) lunches were probably super active - or were blessed with really strong metabolism. Most of the women ate really lightly, though - pretty much the way I have to eat NOW to maintain my weight (and none of these women are WLS patients - they're just "normal" people...)

I was just thinking about this yesterday! My BIL is super thin ectomorph. Never carried an extra pound. The assumption has always been that he was metabolically and genetically blessed with those genes. That he could eat as much as he wants, whatever he wants. But the reality is, if you watch him, he takes very small (girly) portions of food. And takes bigger portions of low calorie foods like salads and veggies. And some days he eats very little during the day (IF anyone?) or asks for super healthy meal days. And when I asked him about this at Christmas, he replied that he has to watch his weight.

Insert jaw drop here.

So I DO think that naturally thin "normal" people worry and adjust their foods (but they do it almost invisibly, cuz our filters just auto-assume they get to eat anything they want without consequence). But I think we are the same. Especially once we get surgery and our bodies allow us to defend a lower set point. :)

And every skinny girl I've met personally? ALWAYS serves themselves miniscule portions of things. :)

Edited by FluffyChix

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8 hours ago, TheAngryMeow said:

I really thought once I got my date that I would be over the moon with excitement. However, it has set in today that this is really going to happen. That being said, I am the regular amount of nervous about the surgery - but moreso I'm trying to deal with the mental health aspect of this.

I know this is going to be life altering and I won't be able to eat what I once could or like I have in the past. Has anyone else struggled with this thought? If so, how did you overcome it or how are you coping?

^^^^This right here:

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All i can add is the Head games are tough!, but you have a choice

1. Stay fat and unhealthy and die early missing out on your kids and the future

or

Plow thru it deal with the head games and just stay focused -

I decided to get healthy and live vs be burnt and put in a Urn Young - so whatever mental issues came at me after my crash i just stayed focused on that goal of getting healthy!

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It's definitely an adjustment, but you can do this, you've got this.

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