TessieLoo

And they delete and ban you in their FB (marketing) group if you post anything unfavorable about their products. Their Pork “Puffs” are inedible. I will never give them another dime. Outrageous.

Thank you, Candy! And think between you and FluffyChix, the aisle-rolling is going to be frequent around here! About my mom....she died in 2001 or 02 (I don't even remember)....and she died bitter, angry, unforgiving and alone. It was her choice, many people wanted to love her - she just wouldn't have any of it. She had issues that I will never know about, and I'm still angry. Still angry. And it's so unhealthy to carry around with me. So I try to understand that there were probably many reasons she was as broken as she was. And I hope that she's somewhere now where she is finally at peace. Thank you for welcoming me here.

Paddleboarding! I want to paddleboard SO BAD! And kayaking...I did kayaking about 50 lbs ago...it was SO.MUCH.FUN. But I want to do it when I don't have to worry about fitting in the damn thing, and if I flip it in deep water, I want to be able to get back in it without looking (and sounding) like a freaking sea lion. Yeah, I did that.

Oh man. I am so so sorry that this is so rough for you! I hope that you will be past this soon. Keep walking, keep sipping. You WILL get through it. I am going to predict that we'll see you posting soon that you have no regrets and you'd do it all again! *gentle hugs*

One of the things my surgeon asked me during our first consultation is "What do you most look forward to when you've lost the weight? My list is so long, but here are just a few: No need for meds for high blood pressure (I currently take TWO) Being able to wear ALL the clothes I own (I currently have a FULL-WARDROBE in at least 4 different sizes, much of it brand-new) Not being embarrassed to have a picture taken of myself - being in the picture instead of behind the camera I'll be able to wear that little black dress that has been in my closet for years - tags still on it! I'll be able to cross my legs I won't always be the biggest person in the room I'll fit comfortably and confidently in any chair or seat I'll be able to wrap a standard bath towel around my body I won’t have to shop at plus size stores I'll be able to easily sit in booths at restaurants My joints won’t hurt at the end (or beginning!) of the day I won't be the only obese one in my group of friends Career opportunities may open up I'm curious to see what's on other people's list.

OK, I've gotta be a part of this cool club! Some of you are literally making me laugh out loud at your posts! I'm Tess, and I'm on the path to a sleeve. I just turned 59, and the weight is really affecting my quality of life. I hurt. My knees, ankles, feet, back...I just hurt all over. Chronically. My blood pressure is horrible. My cholesterol is high and my triglycerides are high. I'm hypothyroid, I've got metabolic syndrome and I'm insulin resistant, and just a few creme puffs away from full-blown diabetes. Physically, I'm just so damn uncomfortable in this fat suit I've been wearing most of my life. I'm also one medium binge away from 300 lbs. Oh man, I cringe just typing that. How / Why did I get here??? I have issues with food...serious issues. My mother put my sister and I on diets pre-puberty (neither one of us were overweight) and all of my memories of food as a child are of being shamed for eating. Mostly by my mother, who had issues of her own, but by my grandmother and extended family members to some extent as well. Later as a pre-adolescent and into my teens, my mother basically just checked out as a parent and I fended for myself mostly. The most exciting thing for me about going to a friend's home or to my grandparents: THEY HAD FOOD IN THE HOUSE! The most memorable part of my pre-teen and teen years living at home with my mother was that there was very rarely food in the house. My sister and I would raid the trunk of her car when she was sleeping, because she would usually have a cooler with delicious food in it...grapes, deli meats and cheeses, crackers, etc. that she would buy to share with one of her boyfriends. But she wouldn't buy groceries for my sister and I. Anyway, I got married (at barely 16) to escape the wretched home life. Talk about jumping from the frying pan into the fire...but that's a whole 'nother story. The first time I went grocery shopping as a married girl I bought 2 big boxes of Captain Crunch cereal and ate it until the roof of my mouth was shredded. I wasn't the best cook at that age, but I made a mean hamburger helper. There are so many more stories I could tell, all which led me to where I am today. I really should write a book. I have and will continue to work through my myriad issues with a therapist, because I KNOW that bariatric surgery isn't the magical answer to my problems...but I also know that it's a VERY powerful tool that can help me finally reach my goals of being a normal weight and being able to wear EVERYTHING in my closet. I've spent 5 decades of my life fighting this dragon. My physiology and metabolism is so messed up now that no matter what I do, my body fights to hold on to every ounce. I can lose some weight but I very quickly hit a standstill and no matter what I do, no more pounds will come off. I'm tired of living like this. So so tired. It's not living - it's just existing. I feel like I'm trapped inside this morbidly obese body and I want to be FREE of it and enjoy LIVING, before my life is over. So I'm pulling out the big guns...a tool that I've considered using before, but then told myself I could succeed without it. Obviously, I was wrong. I don't want to waste any more of my time fighting this on my own. I'm going to have the sleeve. I haven't come to this decision lightly. Again, I know that it's NOT a magic, effortless solution to morbid obesity and that I will be eating mindfully and carefully for the rest of my life...but I will finally have the tool I need to be successful and wake up from this nightmare of being morbidly obese and not being able to fix it. The procedure has come a very long ways, and there are actual physiological changes the the surgery causes that will cause my body to quit fighting me and allow me to lose the excess weight and finally know what it is to be 'normal'. I've gone to the initial seminar, had my one-on-one consultation with the surgeon (actually, it was a "two-fer", as my best friend is doing this with me!), I've done my psych-eval, found a new therapist who specializes in eating disorders and will be meeting with her the first time on the 27th, meeting with the nutritionist on the 27th....I'm hoping if all goes well, that I'll be getting the surgery in May or June. Sorry for the long-winded epistle...I had to edit myself! LOL