Wheetsin

This is tricky because it's also one of those things that, online, is taken under a totally different assumption than how it's meant. Even in arguments/debates/whatever. We had a thread going a while ago where one of the posters would post things that I literally could not understand. I mean - it would "say" one thing, but that would make zero sense... so you'd assume the poster meant to say something else, but for the life of you, you had no idea what. Once, when I asked the poster to clarify what was being said, I got a backlash of "you know what I meant you're just splitting hairs" (paraphrasing). But that wasn't the case at all. I couldn't for the life of me figure out what the person was trying to say. Unfortunately, no matter how many times I stated this - or others stated they had read the messages the exact same way that I had and had the same problems - the person insisted that it was being done to ridicule. Their mind was already made up, so what can you do? This seems to happen a lot online. Often I see people saying they're a "looser." MOST of the time I don't say a thing. I mean - being able to type has nothing to do with being able to spell - we all know that! But if I see someone repeatedly saying "I'm a looser," "I want to loose weight," how much weight did you loose" -- then I begin to assume that maybe the person really doesn't know the difference, and I might point it out in as nice of a way as I can. A lot of this probably boils down the personality. If I repeatedly make the same mistake, I don't mind someone pointing it out to me. IMO, I'd much rather someone point out the mistake so I can stop making it, then continue making it. It wouldn't hurt my feelings in the least. I can't even imagine why it would hurt my feelings. And as such, I wouldn't necessarily stop to think about doing it for someone else. My gut level reaction is that, if anything, they'll appreciate that someone told them. I have to stop and think beyond that. I see it kind of like walking around with broccoli in your teeth. Yeah, maybe it's a little embarassing for someone to point it out to you, but would you rather have someone tell you, or would you rather walk around all day and have no idea until you see it in the mirror? (or don't see it, and never know)

I tend to think of it in pounds because that's the "in your face" way the scale reads it. But - when I stop and take the time to think of it in terms of percentage, or measurements, it has a lot more impact. I've lost about 165 lbs, give or take. Yeah, that's a lot. But it doesn't have that *oomph* to it. I've lost more than 75% of my excess weight. I've lost something like 6 or 7 feet off of my measurements. That has a little more *oomph*!

If the belly hanging bothers you, just bend over a couple of pillows. Hmm, I think I've suggested pillows - in the context of sex - a few times today. Seems they're a cure-all. Anyway - that will take the hanging pressure off of your belly, while still giving you a soft way to support it.

Hmm... I think I waited like 2 weeks or so. DH was a little afraid to touch me before that, and although I recovered quickly, my port (in the middle of my abdomen) stayed sore for a while. It's been a while since I was banded, but I do remember sticking to either "doggy style" (I hate calling it that) , where we're laying on our sides, or me on top backwards. These seemed like the least likely to irritate my port area.

I gurgle a LOT. In a few different ways. There is my band gurgle, which is around the band area. Usually happens when I'm eating or stuck. Then there's the burp gurgle, which is in my throat and sounds very much like a burp, only I'm not burping, it's just a noise I'm mkaing in my throat. Pre-op I would get this if I drank quickly/chugged, but now I get it all the time, and regardless of what I'm doing. I also have a similar gurgle that's like a 2 stage burp. Hard to explain.

beau, I hear (or heard, to be technically accurate) this all the time, and it's sooo not reality! What you've basically just told us is that you stay with this soppy little penis wrinkle because, what -- he's better than nothing. Umm - hello! You can't go it alone? YOU'RE ALREADY GOING IT ALONE, hon! Actually, no - alone would be better, because then you aren't being constantly beaten down along the way. Women who put up with abusive relationships, 99.99% of the time do it for one reason -- because it gives them something it needs. (That's true for all behaviors, not just relationships). That probably sounds wierd, how could you need to be abused -- but that's taking it too literally. Take someone who is physically abused. Why are they still in the relationship? Because, chances are, the negative attention of being punched in the face is, to them, better than no attention at all. (Think of it in terms of obesity -- none of us want to be fat or like being fat, but we're still fat... we're still getting something out of being fat. Normally that something is "control" or "safety" or "presence" or what have you, but it's really the same premise). I'm hearing you say the exact same thing in slightly different words. The negative companionship you're getting from your husband is still better to you than no companionship at all. Which, again, equates to "better than nothing" and that's really not true. Nothing never dragged you through the dirt or buried your self esteem in a pile of warm poop, did it? You can move past this, if you can change the way you're perceiving your relationship. So let me ask... What does being alone mean to you, that it's such a bad thing? If you're alone, what happens? Why does it bother you to be or feel alone? Do you have someone else you can count on being there for you, whom you aren't married to? Good friends? Family?

This is hard to answer. DH and I have always been very amorous, with good quality and quantity. So since it never was much of an issue, there wasn't anything to fix. However... What has changed is our spontaneity. I had no problems turning DH on before, but I couldn't do it with looks. I could do it by saying something, touching him, etc. -- but I couldn't walk into a room wearing something sexy and expect him to be turned on just by seeing me. Self esteem is what it is, but for most guys, the looks of a 400lb woman just isn't going to turn him on, love or no love. That's not him being selfish or shallow, that's him being human. Now he is turned on visually. The other day I was laying in bed and had my leg stuck up in the air putting lotion on, he walked past the door, looked in, and that was all it took. 170 lbs ago, there's no way in hell that would have turned him on (hell, 170 lbs ago, there's no way I could have gotten my leg straight up in the air!). Perhaps spontaneity isn't the right word, but it's not completely wrong, either. There's a different level of impetuousness that comes when just looking at you can turn a guy on. He says it reminds him of when we were first together (I wasn't fat then), and he would catch a glimpse of me naked and feel like lightning had struck him. There's no way 400lbs is going to do that (unless you're talking fettish). Our options have also improved. Before I lost weight, I physically could not be on top "normal." I could be on top, but I could not be on top AND sit up, and move while sitting up. You know, the way it should be! I would have to crouch or sort of lay on him. My legs and stomach were just too fat. It's so nice to not have that be an issue any more!

I correct people, sometimes, depending on the situation. Grammar and pronunciation are different, so I can't say yes or no concretely. I don't correct the way a stranger pronounces something, unless it's unintentional. For example, if someone says something, and I really don't understand what they're saying... I think about it, it dawns on me, and I might say, "Oh, you mean blahblah! I wasn't sure what you meant at first." I guess technically it's a correction, but it's not intended for that purpose. But when the southern gentleman at our car shop etlls me he "changed the Earl" - I wouldn't correct that. I will correct my husband's grammar, mainly because English is not has native language and I assume that mistakes are unintentional. Sometimes he will use poor grammar to irritate me, and I will correct him to irritate him right back. When my in-laws, who can be VERY hard to understand, use poor grammar -- I wouldn't even think about correcting them. Unless they specifically ask me what it should be, out of their own efforts to learn. I correct my parents, etc. but it's understood to be of good nature. Now to add a third level - people online. I do not correct people online to be mean (even though it's often taken that way), but when someone has repeatedly used poor grammar or spelling, I tend to assume the really don't know any better, and will try and correct it politely as a way to say "hey, just in case you didn't know, it's this not that." There have been times where I've literally not understood what someone has types, and the best I can do is ignore it, ask them to clarify, or try to "guess" what they've said and hope I'm right. It's kidn of like talking to someone with a very thich accent you can't decipher... what do you do?

Wasa, I need to try that. I see lot items all the time, but never thought about doing it myself. Not sure why. But it would be easy enough to do, most of my clothes are along the same fashion & colors of each other. I very rarely sell on ebay but when I do, I take advantage of the free shipping arrangements you can get through USPS. They're pretty awesome, actually - and IMO much more reliable than the other options. If I was in touch with more local bandsters I could save a ton of people a ton of money, but I gave up on support groups (never really my thing) about a year ago. For a while there were a few ladies I would still meet up with - all smaller sizes than me, go figure. :heh:

My answer has a few layers. First would be the things I used to look forward to, and can now do. Second would be the things that are still beyond me. So first, the ones I've already done: Being able to go to a new restaurant without worrying about whether or not the chairs have arms, or if the booths have enough space between the bench and the table. MAN, it is nice to have this freedom! Same for things like theater seats, seatbelts in cars, etc. Being able to shop in the MISSES department. Woohoo!! I did this the other day. Granted, it was a misses XXL, and is a little snug around my big huge flabby scrotum-looking upper arms, but HEY, it still came from the MISSES department! I can cross my legs girl style. I can do stairs without thinking twice - the other day I even ran to the far end of the parking lot b/c it was pouring down rain, and my breathing didn't get heavy at all. I can get down on the floor without having to kind of bend my legs and fall, and I can get back up without having to crawl over to a chair or table I can climb up. I can sit in a chair without my hips overflowing off the sides. I can eat in the outdoor section and don't need to worry about 1) fitting or 2) breaking the plastic furniture. I can do things like ride my bike without looking like a big lard lollipop. I CAN SIT UP, WALK, BEND, STAND, AND MOVE IN VARIOUS WAYS WITHOUT HAVING TO CONSTANTLY BE WORRIED ABOUT PULLING MY SHIRT OUT FROM BETWEEN MY ROLLS. C'mon ladies, you know what I'm talking about here. And I ALWAYS hated hated hated it. I never even realized I'd stopped doing this until someone else pointed it out. Regain my girlishness. It's hard to feel feminine when you weigh almost 400 lbs and have the profile of a rubber duck. And I'm sorry, but "cute" clothes just tend to look ridiculous. And it's hard to carry 400 lbs in a pair of heels. I'm officially "girly" again! :heh:3 Fly on a plane and 1) fit into the seat and 2) have the seatbelt fit. I can proudly say that on my last trip I flew Southwest, and even then I could not only fasten the seatbelt, but had to tighten it a good foot or so. Things I'm still waiting to do: Have an annual physical without my doctor telling me she'd like to see my BMI a little lower. Last year when she told me this I could tell her, "Well, I'm down around 18 BMI points from last year..." and she said, "Well I'll just shut up then!" But then she forgets, and I hear it all over again... Be able to shop anywhere. I've made a lot of progress, but I still can't walk into, say, Anne Taylor and buy whatever I want off the shelf. I still have to look for at least 1 "X" on the size, usually 2. DH's "man goal" (as he calls it) for me is that when I bend over (e.g. to pick something up from the floor), he can see my pooty. My thighs are still too fat for this - I bend over and he sees the back of my fat thighs. How sexy. I can't wait to scuba without having to wear so much weight that it's a burden to walk while geared up. I would like to be able to exercise without feeling self-conscious. Fatties in the gym always get the weird looks. Like - hello - I'm the one who needs to be here! I can ignore the looks. What really gets to me is the wall o' mirrors. I REALLY don't need to see myself jiggle! I would really, really like to feel comfortable wearing a bathing suit other than a very modest tankini. I love swimming, and while I don't live near any beaches, I do love taking vacations to places that have them. But this is going to require PS. My skin is a mess.

Thich? Muchy? What were my fingers doing?? I should add - I weighed 382 the day I had surgery, and weighed in Monday at 235. I've gone from a 30/32+ (as in, I could go to Avenue and try on a 30/32 and MAYBE it fit), to a reliable 18/20 with the occasional 14/16, and occasional 22 in bottoms. That's because my hips are refusing to budge. I started looking into the lapband when I was 25. Oh, how I wish I hadn't procrastinated.

Comments below in blue. I currently weight 360lbs and am sick of it. I really need help in what to eat thats the biggest part that scares me. I attended 6 months of mandatory nutrition classes but i still would really like to hear it from someone who has had the surgery and knows exactly what i am up against. I have questions if anyone is still out there to answer please respond. How long is recovery. I weighed 382 the day I had surgery. So I know what you're up against. I think it's great you're doing it while you're young. I wish the band had been available when I was 19 (though I was only like 15# overweight then... still wish!) I work as a cashier at GFS Marketplace and i do heavy lifting from time to time will that be a complication? I had surgery on a Wednesday. I pretty much slept off the rest of that day and the first part of Thursday. When I wasn't sleeping, I was chilling in a recliner or walking around the house. Friday I started to feel better. Friday evening I went to Target (leaned on the shopping cart) and walked a few laps around the store because I was restless. Saturday we took a car trip out of town and while I did take it easy, I also felt fine. Just barely sore at this point. By Monday (4 days post-op) I was ready to return to work, but my staples hit in the same place as my waistband, which was not so comfy. I have a job where I can telecommute, so I just worked from home until Wed - staples were taken out that evening. Thursday I returned to work and was just fine. You will (likely) be given a lifting restriction for 4 - 6 weeks. This should not interfere with your job, just show them the surgeon's documentation that restricts the weight you can lift. I need quick and easy meals b/c im a college student and worker i dont have much time to set aside to cook a 45 min meal please help i dont know if im doing the right thing. There are so many quick meals out there, this won't be a problem. First of all, you're diet will PROBABLY be graduated. Meaning for a while you're only going to take in liquids. Then thich liquids, then muchy foods, then semisolids, then solids, etc. This sounds complicated but it's really simple. Each eating stage has its own "staples" than you will come to know & love. I know that if i dont go through with this mai weight will only continue to increase as it has since i was 6. i need support and dont know where to look. This is a pretty good place, lots of experience and information. It's overwhelming - I know - I've been there, but it's always worse to stand there looking at it, than to actually be doing it.

Losingjustme, we're in similar places - mentally and physically. My goal is 180 and I'm around 235. Although nicely enough today my scale plinged out a 252. Damn periods. It is what it is. I eat well, I believe. I know where I'm at in terms of portion and calories. 99% of the time I avoid white carbs. My Protein percentage is about 85%. I pay attention to fat, but do still eat full fat cottage cheese and other dairy - except milk (I drink soy milk). When I eat, which is pretty much not until the evening, I balance my meals and my groups. If I want something, I have a very controlled amount of it. I'm happy with my eating. But I seem to have reached a point where changing the eating habits has done what it can do. I can no longer look at my diet and say "This is what I need to adjust to lose weight." I don't have much room to adjust it! So I know that I need to look to bodyworks for the rest - metabolism, output, etc. But I hate exercise. I have 0 fun when doing it, and find it VERY hard to push that aside and do it anyway. I've realized that the "go the gym" thing doesn't work for me. I'm going to need to find a class in something, with a set time to be there. Otherwise it's too easy to excuse myself out of it. I'm still fat, but I'm "normal" fat. Does that make sense? I was almost 400# pre-op. I was the fat person who got the second looks because I was so fat. I was the freakishly fat person. Now I'm fat, but really not much fatter than any other average fat person out there. This has given me an unwanted sense of complacency. Not to be confused with satisfaction. I'm NOT where I want to be. I WANT to lose about 50 - 70 more lbs. I WANT to lose 2 - 4 more sizes. What kills me are my plateaus. I can go three months without any changes to scale, measurements, etc. -- and then lose 15 lbs in 3 days. Or I can not lose. I went almost 7 months of the same 4 lbs back and forth, even though I was doing things right and (then) exercising on a reliable schedule. NOTHING kills your morale faster than to be doing things right, and not seeing anything for it. My overall average weightloss kicks ass, but my average for the last year barely registers. My overall average is so high because I was literally losing a size every 2 weeks for a while. Hahaha, I can barely remember those days.

Right now I can drink a 12 oz protein drink made with water and ice no problem. It fills me up. I am happy and full. I drink a lot of protein; it is my main staple. It will help get me through these last 2 days of liquids without going nuts and eating the cat. (I am just joking I would eat the dog first he has more meat on him.) Is anyone else drinking a lot or am I the only one? Not sure my input here is good since we're at such different stages... but didn't want you to think your post was going ignored. I also find that I feel more hungry with each passing day. I am not sure I could sit down and eat a full meal, but I am snacking on low cal yogurt and pudding here and there. Or I am adding an extra protein drink when needed. I have a very limited diet plan, but I am finding very hard to stick to now that I am hungry. I am sticking to the items and most of the time the quainties, but I am eating more frequently, snacking, and adding additional meals. Right now I am consuming about 1200 calories. Ouch! 1200 is a good range for a bandster to be in. Getting hungrier each day is normal - you're healing, your body is more and more ready for food, etc. Do what you can to follow the diet, but my perosnal advice - if you're hungry, eat. Not "if you're not full, eat" but if you're truly hungry. Stop eating when you're no longer hungry, not when you're full. Is anyone else experiencing these issues? Or should I just give up and start chowing down on the pets?I lost my appetite a few days before surgery, and it's yet to really return. I am by far one of the exceptions with this. What you're describing sounds pretty much like what we see every day here, so I'd say it's normal.<!-- google_ad_section_end --><!-- / message --><!-- sig -->

Get banded ASAP. The holidays will just bring that much more weight you have to lose. Since we're already banded we are going to have slightly different takes than you are, but seriously -- it's just food. I know that when you're on the other side that isn't so easy to say, but start changing your mindset now. I've never really been an advocate for "waiting". Haven't you waited long enough?

I could exercise moderately at 6 weeks. Was told to wait until 8 weeks for any weights or anything that targetted my abdominal area.

"Lucky" is probably not what you think of when you tell your story, but in a way, you are very, very lucky. Perhaps it's your silver lining. There's no way I could ever have a PB come without my knowing it, because of the 20+ minutes I'm in significant pain before the PB even thinks about happening. And about 5 mins before it comes, the pain intensifies. I think it sounds heavenly to just "oops" and have a PB.

My parents both want to be banded. They're trying to figure out the insurance ordeal. At first my mom was not really pro-banding when I was having my surgery, but seeing me changed her mind. They're in their lower 50s. My mother has been overweight... as long as I can remember. I remember one time when I was about 10 she joined Weight Watchers and got down to a sz 18. She has probably been around a sz 24 most of my life. Now she's in a... well... I'm not sure. Not much at LB fits her, and she's wearing my pre-op clothes, which means she's around a 30/32, but about 7" shorter than me. She's prbably wearing a 5x or 6x now. My father has great success with weightloss but no success with maintenance. He used to be in the military and never had much of a weight problem until he retired. He was overweight, probably wearing pants in the 40s, and now he wears like a 52. I think they've both reached the point where they've given up, and see surgical intervention as their only hope. But it's sad, because they've given up -- they aren't trying. We visited them Saturday. They had just eaten lunch (buffet) when we got there. Miscommunication, we thought we were all eating together, so DH and I had not eaten yet. They said they would go with us and just get a drink. So we get to a restaurant, DH & I order, and then my mother orders a large bowl of the cheesey Soup and a (quite large) appetizer, and dad orders a separate appetizer. This is no more than an hour after they've gotten home from a lunch buffet. I said nothing, because I've been there. But I was thinking how sad it was, and how glad I am to not be there anymore. I felt disgusted. Not with my parents, but with their behavior. I hope they figure out their insurance soon.

I say "like" WAY too much. I have since I was in elementary school. I grew up in southern California and everyone said it there. Here, the only other person I've found who has a problem with it is my co-worker, also from California. We try to remind each other about it. DH says "yeah... no" instead of just "no." That drives me nuts. I'm always like, so which is it? Yeah or no? (see...the "like"...)

That position kills me. But it is so worth it. I brought this question up at a support group meeting. The nurse said it was just the movement of the muscle and that as long as it wasn't severe/prolonged, it wouldn't hurt anything. Next time try lifting your butt up a butt. Either have DH put his hands under and lift for you, or swquish a pillow or two under you. I ca't guarantee it will make any difference, but it works for me. You can do everything else the same, but having the body as a slight incline seems to make a huge difference in the pain.

<p>Diane, that's so awesome and I'm so happy for you. I plan to be there myself someday (after kid). As for the drains - wish I could advise but I've never had them. I have asked, though, because even though my TT is at least a year or two away, I'm already anxious about it. Just kinda gives me the creeps, you know? So I asked Puddin on here to pay attention to what it felt like and she said she didn't really feel anything. I've asked others I know IRL and I've heard a mix of "didn't feel a thing," and "hurt like hell," and "felt... weird." Nothing in between. Just invest in a plastic dental tray, like they give to people who grind their teeth. For DH's sake. :Banane35:

Don't believe that TriCare has approved the band unless you hear it from a TriCare person (more than two or three times at that.) If someone tells you it is approved, get their name. My mother is trying to get banded through TriCare. She calls every Monday. As of about 9:15am CST this morning, it was still excluded. She has found somewhere between 4 and 6 MTFs that do the band. I don't know how long the waiting lists are but they're through part of next year already (from what she has told me, I have not called them myself).

Oh, they also won't (usually) count things like Weight Watchers as a supervised weightloss attempt, even though it's supervised, because it isn't medically supervised. For this to count, you would have had to go to your doctor's in conjunction with the weightloss plan, because the insurance company is still looking for those obesity procedure codes...

Probably not. I can't speak specifically to BCBS, but most insurance companies are looking for 6 months of supervised doctor's visits for the sole purpose of monitoring weightloss. This means you go, and your diagnosis is obesity - not back pain or flu or what have you, and you happened to get weighed while you were there. The insurance companies will check the treatment codes. There's not really a way around this one.

Of course you can eat as much, you aren't filled yet. The band can't do its job until you have some restriction. For some people this happens pre-fill. For the majority, it does not. Yes, you still have a "pouch" (we don't really have pouches, we have a compartmentalized esophagus).