Wheetsin

I used to go by a goal weight. I quit that about 16 mos ago. My goal weight was 180, which was the weight I was last happy with my body. Understanding of course that my body this time around is going to look nothing like my body that time around. By most BMI charts, this has me in the overweight category by 0.05 pts. After weighing almost 400 lbs for the last 8 years, I would consider myself at goal if I could get to that weight, even though it's still technically classified as overweight. Because I believe I will be happy there. And for me a goal is a goal, not a rule. If I get to 180 and am not happy, then we'll go more. Simple as that. I absolutely believe there's a fear of failure. That's why so many of us never maintained any loss ever. But there's also an element of compromise. Think of it this way: I was once talking to a plastic surgeon who commented that he LOVED doing surgeries for WLS patients. In fact, he said he would like to be an exclusive WLS provider, if it could support the business. His reasoning was that when you take someone who has been morbidly obese or beyond for the better part of their lives, they're THRILLED with anything you can do for them. They will GLADLY take the surgical scar over the wrecked skin. He said that's not the case with non-WLS patients - they're nit-picky, finding fault in everything, and generally not grateful for their results. So maybe your surgery results aren't perfect, and we know they could be better, but damn - compared to where we were, it's GREAT to be there, and we'll take it.

And without context we must also have a satanist in office. Or at least a Mediterranean curse monger.

I'm a behavioral eater with poor portion control.

I'm way too anal for a tattoo. I'm not opposed to them by any means, I'm just too much of a perfectionist. It would never be perfect enough. THere would always be a line that glitched or a color that didn't look the way I wanted. I can't even commit to a wall color for my living room, let alone something that I have to trust someone else to put on my body.

I think OH also has a list by state, with user reviews. Or did at one point.

I'm not yet convinced that clothes now are that much more horrible than when I was growing up. Girls now wear skin tight jeans, but we wore "biker shorts" and a wide concoction of lycra/spandex leggings. You don't get much tighter than those. Girls now wear belly shirts, we used to wear those elastic tube tops or 4-strap halters. Girls now wear daisy dukes, and we used to wear the equally short gym ("ball hugger") shorts. I never wore platforms, but I did wear clogs. I had a bikini (cactii, sunsets and cowboys) in elementary school, as did all my friends. It seems like we're just seeing the updated versions of the same old things. What I think has changed, is the intention behind the clothing. Why I wore those things, and why a girl today wears her versions, are probably very different OTHER than the basic "it's what people wear" that grabs at ALL kids. I know that when my 10ish y/o cousin was showing me her new school clothes, she asked, "Do I look sexy?" Clothing companies will only produce what people will buy. There's a much larger issue than what's on the shelves.

I can't see the pics, but - good for you! Nothing makes us feel quite as good as reversible impetuousness! I used to have many more piercings than I do now. Now it's just the ears double, but I used to also have the cartilage, eyebrow, lip, and nose. I wouldn't mind having the nose redone some day, with the teeniest tiniest little gold ball. Nothing like the hook I used to wear. I just have to convince myself that the pain is worth it.

<p> I grew up in a neighborhood called Tierrasanta, and we could see the stadium from our backyard. Of course, back then it was called the Jack Murphy stadium, and people were still angry that it had been named after him. Obviously Starbucks wasn't around then, but we brought our trendy little sushi sets for lunch. Damn straight we have our priorities. :heh:

I write, and I always have to assign everything I can to my characters, make them as close to "real people" as I possibly can, so that I can get into their heads. I have to do this in order to try and be realistic about how they would react to situations, what they would say, what they value, etc. And just like every other aspect of what makes us us, from our hair color to our nightmares to our favorite foods to our sexual orientation, it all plays a role in making "us." But I can understand why people burn these books. I mean, gays threaten the American way of life. See?

Oh, all of that is MHO, yada yada.

Our dreams protect us from realities we don't want to deal with, aren't ready to deal with, etc. Ever have that "faceless stranger" that you still somehow know? Ever have someone you haven't thought of in 10 years show up in your dreams? That distances the immediate "threat" (in the psychological sense, not physical) of whatever the function is in your dream. Symbols in dreams - symbols schmymbols. It doesn't matter WHAT is in your dream - let's say a chocolate bar. The fact that it's a chocolate bar doesn't mean anything compared to how you feel about the chocolate bar, or what the chocolate bar means in your dream (yes, dream dictionaries are a waste of money, unless we all share a single brain, there's no way one object can have a single meaning to all of us). So you talk about what's happening in your dreams, but not your emotions, senses, etc. during them. How did having a chocolate bar penis feel in your dream? Did it seem unusual to you? Was it a surprise, or something you already knew? Did it scare you? Etc. I have extremely vivid dreams. I dream in color. I have all 5 senses in my dreams. I can be myself, I can be another character, or I can be the "director" -- this sort of third party observer watching myself and others in my dream. So I get a lot of input on what I'm perceiving in the dream. Pay attention to your inputs.

Mmmm jicama. You can cook jicama in some sugar free cider mix, weetner and cinnamon and make a crunchy, but not horrible, low carb substitute for country-style fried apples. But it's much better just sliced & chilled.

I'll be totally honest here. I have a really hard time cleaning my bellybutton. It has become bottomless. With weightloss, my stomach has kind of collapsed, and my bellybutton went with it. I'm a visual person, so see graphic below. I try to pry it open in the shower, but it's like trying to pry open the business end of a water-weenie. Seriously. Think of a Water weenie, and trying to get down into its... hole. The minute anything gets down in there, the water weenie is closing in on it. That's exactly what my bellybutton does. I try to push the shower head against it, on massage mode, to jet water down into it but I have no way of knowing if it's successful. So now it's a combination of shower head, qtips, and trying to work some peroxide down in there. I seriously don't even want to think about what's in the deepest, darkest reaches of my bellybutton. At least some loose change and probably my missing cell phone, for starters. Here's what my bellybutton has done. I mean - how do you really clean that? (on a brighter note, I'm going to have my primary doc start recording this stuff, and see her every time the skin gets irritated instead of just piping some neosporin in... may help my TT case with the ins co):

You know what? I wish I could work out on an elliptical because it kicks my ass and I know it would be an awesome routine. But there's just something about it. I can't straighten my legs. Well, I shouldn't say "I can't"... maybe I could with enough practice, but even after the guy adjusted it for my height, I still felt like I couldn't do it. That makes me feel like I'm just doing these uncoordinated one-legged hops the entire time, and my thighs last for about 3 mins and then I'm d-u-n.

Yeah and ladies - remember that good haircare doesn't stop at the waist. :whoo:

Oh well hell, if that were taken into account my info would look like this:

Did you meet with a psychologist as part of your pre-op work? What techniques did she/he advise, and are they not working, or...?

I'm fond of Asics for athletic shoes. I've tried a lot of different kinds/brands and I've found them to be the most comfortable. I like it when you step down in a shoe and it kind of springs you effortlessly forward. These do that. I think I have the "Gel Kayano" but I'm not sure.

Ok I'll tell my style if you tell yours! Trying to redo my living room, which is hard because the focal point of the room is the raised hearth fireplace. And IMO it's an eyesore. First, when we built this house, they wrote down the wrong wood stain (umm... and wood too). Everything was supposed to be done in clearcoat, and instead they did it in Fruitwood, which is a bit garrish orange, if you aren't familiar with the color. So the mantle & surround color screams "I have jaundice... and diarrhea!" Then the surround tiles we selected, based on the assumption that they would be up against clearcoat hickory, look horrible next to fruitwood pine. *sigh* My style is a bit hard to describe. Ecclectic, but not gypsy ecclectic. Rustic, but not "lodge" rustic with moose and plaid all over the place. Maybe a little country, but nothing like anitque douche cans for flower vases and pig-themed kitchens. More like a Spanish rustic, but not santa Fe. I lurve handcrafted things, but not the primitive dolls with barbed wire hair stuff. My house has a lot of Spanish style recycled hand-blown glass, lots of wrought Iron, several pieces of Mexican rustic (chunky pine & iron style) furniture, distressed leather, I love apothecary style pieces. A touch of arts & crafts, but I'm not a true devotee. Lots of Pottery Barn older style, like the Madison line of occasional tables, pub mirror, etc. I don't do a lick of modern. I dont' like really light wood. I don't like really dark wood. I don't like formal lines or finishes. Yeah, I'm pretty picky. We had new sofas delivered this week and I was hoping to have a painter in to get the family room painted before they arrived, but I didn't make it. On two counts. One was the painter was already booked, and two was that after a year I still haven't picked a color (I'm currently torn between benjamin Moore Yorkshire Tan or Lenox Tan. I have Olive Branch sampled on the walls, and it's a beautiful color, but the room doesn't get enough light to pull it off). BTW, can I say that fabric is $^% expensive? I ordered some Covington linen for new bedroom panels. 11 yards. At 40% off, I still paid over $400. I'm still trying to convince myself they'll be so perfect I won't mind... I'm not winning so far... :faint:

Along the same lines as the scars bad stretchmarks good... Morbid obesity bad, not being able to wear underwear in the OR worse? Here's my take on it... No undies here. And I didn't care in the least. Underwear was the farthest thing from my mind. I mean - if I didn't mind laying there with no bra on, and my flab hanging all over the table, a naked pooty in the room with medical professionals certainly wasn't going to phase me. I mean - I have paps, and there the person is trying to look... during the surgery, any sight would be incidental.

I regret not doing it sooner. I regret not capitalizing more on the first 6 months, when is when the weight was really flying off. I tell people who ask - even when I'm at my worst, which has to be somewhere around hunched over the kitchen sink wishing that the PB would just come so the pain will stop, I would do it again in a heartbeat.

My periods stayed the same in all regards but one. During the last 6 - 7 months, my period has shifted to a full week later than it used to be. Each month, I'd be 1 - 2 days late starting, and the next month I would be that late + another few days. This sucks because I've always been regular to within a day, maybe two. And I used to be able to schedule vacation so that I wouldn't be on it... but now, who has a friggin clue... :phanvan Your sex drive is probably 90% hormonal and 10% psychological. Give or take, that's just a guess. Don't let your decreased libido affect your weightloss journey. Have you ever had your hormone levels checked?

You're not starving, not eating large portions, and losing weight. At least that's what I read from your message. Because I don't know what they cost, let's say fills are $100. Here are two scenarios. Certainly they're not the only scenarios, but each is quite likely. Scenario 1: You go to the appointment and tell the truth. The doctor gives you little to no fill. So you pay $0 - $100. You go home, and continue to enjoy your current level of restriction, which seems to be working (that's a guess based on the above information). Perhaps in a few weeks your restriction changes and you're "for sure" ready for a fill. At that time, you go again, and pay $100. Result is that you're comfortably restricted and have paid $100 - $200. Scenario 2: You go to the appointment and lie. The doctor gives you a fill, possibly more fill than you can tolerate if you're already at a good level of restriction. $100. You go home, and cannot get any food down. This irritates the esophagus, you swell, and soon you cannot even get your own saliva down, so you're yakking up saliva that looks like a combination of egg whites and soap lather for 10 hours. You call for an unfill, and the surgeon takes out more than he put it. $100. Then, a few weeks later, you've recovered and want to get back to your original level of restriction, or perhaps a hair more. $100. Result is that you're comfortably restricted now, but have been very uncomfortable for some point, and have paid $300 to maybe get back your original level of restriction, or maybe still need additional fills to get there.

Hon, if you don't need the fill, cancel the appointment. Then you're neither out the money nor overfilled.

Since you don't yet have any fills I'm going to guess you don't have much restriction. If it tastes/smells like vomit, it isn't a "PB." So, chances are that you had what you might call a "wet burp," and actually did bring up some of what you had eaten. A "PB" refers to clearing things that are stuck in the pouch, or at least the thick saliva that your body produces. Yes, true, it doesn't make it to the stomach. It's unable to clear the restricted area of the esophagus (stoma). So, when you "PB" you're only bringing up whatever got stuck and anything you swallowed since. This won't have the typical vomit taste or smell because there is no stomach acid or digested food in it. Usually, if it has any taste at all, it tastes like what got stuck. I'd also wager you had a little but of actual puke vs. a PB because normally there's a fair amount of discomfort, or downright pain, involved in the whole being stuck/having to PB process. Our bodies try to unstick what's stuck, and this doesn't feel good at all! A lot of us have agreed that the term "PB" sucks and is generally not accurate... I sure as hell never had a burp that took an hour and hurt like hell. Perhaps I should host a "rename the PB" contest.