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@@Ashlegal Thank you so much for posting. I'm so very sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine the grief you must feel, and at a time, like you said, when you needed the most support. I hope you're finding the comfort and support you need during this difficult time. *big hugs back*

@@lealor Thank you so much for the encouragement. I'm really sorry to hear of your and your husband's troubles. Illness and financial strains can put such pressure on a relationship. Just as you've told me, take care of you! I hope things get better soon.

Oh, I know. I have to feel the feels and trust me, I am. And I don't feel bad about feeling sad, cause hell, most people would! I know I have to push myself and keep doing healthy things too. Being five weeks out probably makes it easier, but I'm really glad I haven't had a single thought of comforting myself with food. Before surgery, there's no question that I would be.

Wait. You mean waking up in the middle of the night, crying a little bit and posting a sad message to a bunch of strangers on a web forum is pathetic?? Seriously though, your post helped. Most of me knows I'm going to be ok. A little part of me is scared I won't be. But I know that little part is wrong and should STFU. It's probably impossible to spend nearly three years with someone and not have some magical moments. Somehow those seem to come to mind first when you lose someone. But relationships take work and I can't be the one doing all the work. If all he's got is "I just can't get that feeling back" and "I need to work on myself" derp derp, that's on him. I just had some fish and it was delicious. This is going to be hard, but I have to push myself. I just wish I knew how long this is going to suck for.

Thank you everyone for your kind words. I've been thinking too that it's a great time to focus on myself and my health fully. My fear of not being able to handle it is probably unfounded, but it can be hard to realize that. I've been through other hard times and come out strong on the other end. I've needed continuous nausea medicine since it happened yesterday evening. I'd been trying to wean off of taking one nausea pill a day before that. I was also trying to wean off shakes, but now it's hard to eat. Still met my Protein and Fluid goals yesterday, barely. Stress like this does a number on my stomach. It worries me some, but I think I should take it one day at a time and call my bariatric team if I feel like I need to.

I'm five weeks post-op and tonight my boyfriend of nearly three years broke up with me. This is my first very serious, long-term relationship like this, so I'm hurting a lot. We'd been having some problems, but I didn't think they were that bad and wasn't expecting this. It's a huge blow to my support system. I'm trying my best to keep it together and not break down cause I'm scared of how it will feel if I do. Has anyone dealt with something like this soon after surgery?

I'm so terribly sorry for what you're going through. We're all thinking of you here. Please keep us updated.

@@bellabloom I am so sorry to hear you're having such a difficult time. I admire your courage both in posting and seeking help. You're doing the right thing and I'll be thinking of you. I completely relate to what you said about learning early on that your worth depends on your weight. I learned the same thing when I was very young and I struggled with bulimia during my senior year of college ten years ago. I sought help rather quickly (after a couple months) so I was able to recover with outpatient therapy. I gained more than 100 pounds during a very stressful time in my life a couple years later and have been obese ever since. I tell you this to know that even on this forum you're not alone. Deep down there's a part of you that knows you're worth so much more than your weight or clothing size. Put your faith in that voice. You don't deserve for anorexia to disable you physically and mentally any more than you deserved obesity to. And keep working at therapy! Uncovering the underlying issues that contributed to my eating disorder has made all the difference for me. Still, I understand how persistent the thoughts are and how they always seem to stay with you. Keep fighting and with help, I hope you can develop tools to overcome that way of thinking. Sending warm and healing thoughts your way!

@@winklie I figured that's why you started the thread and I like it! It's nice to look back and see how my headspace has changed, even if it's just been five weeks. I'm really starting to feel what others have said, that nothing tastes as good as thin feels. Right now in the honeymoon phase I am trying to "record" how good it feels to break out of unhealthy habits, so I'll remember it later. I never want to go back!

From what I've read in various post here, what we call the "three week stall" generally happens sometime between two and four weeks out. This also seems to be the only stall we don't need to do anything to get out of. Just wait it out.

Oh, jeez. I spread mine out over a month, including: *turkey cheeseburger with caramelized onions, mayo and cheese and a salted caramel milkshake *Papa Johns Tuscan six cheese pizza, cinnamon and sugar dessert knots, and plenty of regular Coke *a honking huge bowl of sugary Cereal *a box of Kraft macaroni and cheese The mac and cheese was the last thing I had before pre-op Clear liquids. It gave me indigestion and reminded me of how I used to eat stuff even knowing it was going to upset my stomach. It was madness. I was so ready to be done with that lifestyle. I can't say what a relief it is for food not to have that hold over me.

That's nuts. I agree with taking some of the things you read on forums with a grain of salt, but you have enough people here saying that being able to eat 2200 calories a day two weeks after surgery is so abnormal it's unbelievable. I can't understand how anyone who is part of a bariatric care team could hear that and not think something is REALLY wrong. Only your nut seemed to have the right reaction at first when she said she hoped she misheard you. Also, your surgeon saying he had a hard time with your surgery and then your gf's surgery because of "her build" sounds weird. Logically, is it more likely these two random cases both happen to be difficult or that your surgeon isn't very skilled? Plus if you're a bariatric surgeon, many patients' builds are going to be part of the challenge is the surgery. Duh. I think it's good you're documenting. I'd be scared for you to allow him to perform surgery on you again though. I think seeking a second opinion at an academic medical center, where you'll find the most skilled and knowledgable surgeons in the country, might be a good move. I don't know if Wake Forest is an AMA, but UVA or Duke would be good choices.

@@Dallas Powell Based on what you're telling us, your surgeon sounds like a fucknut. You have two academic medical centers in Virginia with incredible programs -- UVA and VCU. Are either of those a possibility for you?

Ah, the bpa issue is tough. Do you have a Whole Foods or similar type store nearby? That might be your best bet for finding things in cans without bpa.

Two additional tips: 1. Try organic dairy. I don't know why, but they seem to have much longer expiration dates sometimes. 2. Train yourself to look at expiration dates as you shop. Ask yourself whether you really think you can finish it by the date listed. For example, if you find yogurt with an expiration date a month away, stock up. If it's a week away, just grab a couple. Good luck!

Don't worry @@winklie, it's all part of figuring this process out! You're doing great!

Oh yeah, sorry, forgot to say the deli cheese I eat is low fat! My nut tells me to keep everything under 5g fat per serving.

Congrats on moving to purée foods! Sounds like you did the right thing by stopping when you felt satiated. Keep up the good work!

After three weeks, my nut allowed soft foods and deli meat and cheese qualified. I ate them plain and didn't roll them up. I tore off very small bites and chewed really well. I tolerated these just fine and still eat them. It helps a lot if you're hydrated for it not to feel dry. I sometimes take a tiny sip of water as needed if food gets stuck. My nut said that's ok.

Trust me, you guys definitely aren't the only cereal killers here. I've had a special relationship with cereal my entire life. It started with fruit loops. In fact, my mom tells me my first ever punishment (for coloring on the wall when I was just old enough to know better) was having my fruit loops taken away for a few days when I was 3 yrs old. Over the years I grew to love cereal even more. Corn Pops. Life. Lucky Charms. Fruity freaking Pebbles! And any time of day was fine - breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack, 3 am after the bars closed in college. I definitely miss it. But not enough to trade in the 25 lbs I've lost to get it back.

@@Daisee68 That's really good info! Thanks very much for sharing!

My post-op instructions included calling the clinic if I was throwing up. I'd definitely call, especially since it's been multiple times. It could be nothing, but it's a good idea to check just in case! Btw, I'm surprised you're already home from the hospital! I didn't eat anything the day after surgery and was still getting IV fluids.

At two weeks, it was taking me that long too, if not longer. Now at four weeks I can sometimes finish one in 45 min. It will get better with time!

Woohoo! Congrats!! ????

And gut bacteria! I'm fascinated by that area as well Me too! And not just how it relates to obesity, but overall health. It seems we've just scratched the surface and have so much more to learn.