I'm five weeks post-op and tonight my boyfriend of nearly three years broke up with me. This is my first very serious, long-term relationship like this, so I'm hurting a lot. We'd been having some problems, but I didn't think they were that bad and wasn't expecting this. It's a huge blow to my support system. I'm trying my best to keep it together and not break down cause I'm scared of how it will feel if I do. Has anyone dealt with something like this soon after surgery?

I'm sorry that you're hurting. Keep strong -- you've been through so much and it's your turn to take care of yourself!! You'll realize how strong you are through this.

Edited October 30, 201510 yr by Mom26

I'm sorry you're hurting this will pass

I just want to send you some support as well. I filed for divorce four months post op. Not the same, I know, but you can come through this stronger and healthy. Take care.

I'd typed a lng response but it was lost due to the stupid way this site interfaces with iPads.

Short version: The next few months are yours to get to your goal weight. Be singular of purpose and get there. No distractions.

Get there and then reap the rewards of your new health.

Be your own coach.

Now's the perfect time to be single and get yourself sorted out.....redefined.....and come out with a winning attitude.

Edited October 30, 201510 yr by Dub

I agree with Dub. I know this hurts and you have every right to feel bad and sad. While feeling this way though, focus on yourself. Not just related to the weight loss, but to improving other areas of your life. Do something you want to do and didn't because he didn't want to. Make some new friends. Go out for coffee after the gym with some of the girls you've said hi to. Meet new people, do new things. I'm telling you...take advantage of this opportunity. And yes...it's fine to think of it as an opportunity to be totally selfish and into yourself.

I am so sorry you are going through this. Like the others have said already, focus on you, you deserve a slimmer healthier you...be your own champion and coach in one! I know it sucks...but you will get through this.

I imagine he was not too supportive of the big decision you made to get the surgery. There are no room for people like that in your life. You will need time to heal, and you cannot let it get in the way of your mission here, but a guy who would pick up and leave at a time like this wasn't worth one day of your time in the first place. One day you may come to thank him (somewhat sardonically) for your weight loss success.

You will come out the other side a new person. It's scary right now, but in the blink of an eye, you will no longer remember this feeling of despair. You will feel accomplished, strong and ready for a new serious relationship. Good luck to you. It's always easier from an outside perspective. We are not invested in that relationship so it is easy for us to say it will be fine, while harder for you to believe it. Work on you, the rest will fall into place.

Thank you everyone for your kind words. I've been thinking too that it's a great time to focus on myself and my health fully.

My fear of not being able to handle it is probably unfounded, but it can be hard to realize that. I've been through other hard times and come out strong on the other end.

I've needed continuous nausea medicine since it happened yesterday evening. I'd been trying to wean off of taking one nausea pill a day before that. I was also trying to wean off shakes, but now it's hard to eat. Still met my Protein and Fluid goals yesterday, barely. Stress like this does a number on my stomach. It worries me some, but I think I should take it one day at a time and call my bariatric team if I feel like I need to.

I am so sorry...heartbreak right on top of WLS is so not fun. I don't really have words to add except it sucks and you are gonna be on top of the world in the future - just have to remind ourselves of that

@@gpmed --

Easy to say, but true. You are the only person who will be with you no matter what. You're just started out on an amazing, life-changing trip and it's mandatory that you be present for yourself. How else will you enjoy the view?

Nausea meds? Would he feel ill for you?

Can't eat? Would he go hungry and unnourished for you?

Posting at 3:45 a.m.? Would he lose sleep for you? Your screen name suggests that you may live a wacky schedule, but, still, would he lose sleep for you?

Fie on him. You have other things to do.

Laurie

So very sorry. If it helps I have gone through this on my own and honestly find it much easier to deal with my own feelings than to have to deal with someone else's too. And PS - just think of that day of revenge you will have when you "accidentally" bump in to him a your goal weight. Just sayin'.....

Hugs!!

so sorry to hear this...use this time to take all that anger and sadness into eating right and going to the gym...like the person above me said, revenge is one day running into him or someone he knows and you look so good he would wish he never left...dude was no good for you and he didn't sound very supportive. you don't need that negativity in your life so it's probably for the best. just continue to love yourself and one day you'll find your ace, someone who will love and support you.

Edited October 30, 201510 yr by Lexigurl82

@@gpmed --

Easy to say, but true. You are the only person who will be with you no matter what. You're just started out on an amazing, life-changing trip and it's mandatory that you be present for yourself. How else will you enjoy the view?

Nausea meds? Would he feel ill for you?

Can't eat? Would he go hungry and unnourished for you?

Posting at 3:45 a.m.? Would he lose sleep for you? Your screen name suggests that you may live a wacky schedule, but, still, would he lose sleep for you?

Fie on him. You have other things to do.

Laurie

Wait. You mean waking up in the middle of the night, crying a little bit and posting a sad message to a bunch of strangers on a web forum is pathetic??

Seriously though, your post helped. Most of me knows I'm going to be ok. A little part of me is scared I won't be. But I know that little part is wrong and should STFU. It's probably impossible to spend nearly three years with someone and not have some magical moments. Somehow those seem to come to mind first when you lose someone. But relationships take work and I can't be the one doing all the work. If all he's got is "I just can't get that feeling back" and "I need to work on myself" derp derp, that's on him. I just had some fish and it was delicious. This is going to be hard, but I have to push myself. I just wish I knew how long this is going to suck for.

Wait. You mean waking up in the middle of the night, crying a little bit and posting a sad message to a bunch of strangers on a web forum is pathetic??

Seriously though, your post helped. Most of me knows I'm going to be ok. A little part of me is scared I won't be. But I know that little part is wrong and should STFU. It's probably impossible to spend nearly three years with someone and not have some magical moments. Somehow those seem to come to mind first when you lose someone. But relationships take work and I can't be the one doing all the work. If all he's got is "I just can't get that feeling back" and "I need to work on myself" derp derp, that's on him. I just had some fish and it was delicious. This is going to be hard, but I have to push myself. I just wish I knew how long this is going to suck for.

Hey, hey, hey, what's this about "...that little part is wrong...?" You're allowed to feel it, but not to give him all the power. The jerk just broke up with you, so screw him. @@Daisee68 is correct. When he sees you later on, he'll eat his kishkes out. You're reminding me of a song, the pronouns of which I must change:

Got along without 'im before I met 'im,

Gonna get along without 'im now.

Good girl. chocolate used to be the cure-all and, now, all on you're own, you've discovered the fish cure. You can't know how long you'll feel this way, but you'll do the sane things anyway. Fish is forever.