Sajijoma

I really like these ideas! I haven't really thought about the idea of rewards along the way, but I DEFINITELY like the sound of it.....I could see maybe starting a charm bracelet or something and maybe getting a new charm for each milestone. Like maybe a shoe charm if I start running, a tennis charm if I take up tennis again, a bicycle for the first bike ride, or other things relative to the journey. That would be fun. I think when I finally reach my goal weight and after I've gotten rid of the excess skin, I think my big thing will be to have a real full body nude photo taken. I never take a full body pic even with clothes on, so I think that would be a cool thing to do.....maybe like one of those boudoire photos or something for the hubby....I keep telling him that his investment in this process will be like he gets a brand new wife.

Oh gosh I hope I have that problem when it's my turn! LOL Is it miserable or is this just one of those side effects that has a pleasant outcome like it sounds? If it isn't a bad thing, I wouldn't mind having that extra help for sure. Of course I've got 7 built in reminders to eat(my kids) so I in theory can't forget to eat all day because I have to fix them meals. I could always send them to your house if you get too skinny!

You see, you say you "lack the willpower" but it's not the willpower that's the problem. It's the disconnect in the body. Like you, I KNOW what I'm suppose to eat and how much to the point, I actually corrected my nutritionist when I had gestational diabetes about portion sizes when she misspoke the portion sizes I was allowed and she stopped and looked at me blank faced and then said "oh, you're right!" I guess she didn't expect big old heavy me to know anything about nutrition! We know the score, it's our bodies that don't seem to understand. Willpower has almost nothing to do with it....maybe a little, but for the most part I don't think it's fair to yourself to say it's your lack of willpower to make it happen when your body is screaming "WE'RE STARVING! EAT OR WE'LL DIE!!!"

Oh god, I've got a list..... broccoli salad. It's basically blanched broccoli, cauliflower, in some mayo/cream sauce with a ranch seasoning mixed in. We used to sell this at the grocery store deli I worked at(schnucks if you are a midwesterner in the St. Louis area) I thought it was healthy so I'd buy that, but OMG the facts on that one I would have been better off and probably less hungry if I had eaten a whole rotisserie chicken! In that same vein is 7 layer salad. lettuce, mayo, peas, cheese, spinach, and some other stuff I can't even remember layered up like a big giant lasagna. I thought "hey it's salad it has to be good for me" but I easily put on 10lbs eating it. It's all the yummy fat and mayo and cheese that sink that one, but makes you want to eat it. Also melba toasts. I convinced myself that by putting ham and cheese on melba toasts that I wasn't eating that much, but would blow through literally a pound of meat n cheese combined before I was done, when if I had just made a regular 4oz meat and 1 slice of cheese sandwich I would have been full and done. On the subject of what mom fed us that turned us the way we are....my mom has and always been mentally ill. She's schizophrenic and hears voices in her head that tell her to do things that she wouldn't normally do if she were in her right mind. She's a loving mom when she's well, but when she's off her meds it's a whole nothing creature. I've come to a place where I understand that now and have forgiven her, but the damage was and is still something I suffer from her illness. When I was 4yrs old the voices in her head told her I was going to be fat! HUGE! Just like my brothers. They were all well over 300lbs by freshman year in high school that I can remember. So she put me on a diet that the voices in her head gave her which consisted on 1/2c cottage cheese and one half of a cling peach from a can. That's all I was allowed to eat once a day. If I snuck food and got caught I was given a punishment of several days with no food at all while they ate infront of me big giant meals and taunted me with how delicious it is and how I couldn't have it. I went from being able to eat whatever I wanted and never gain a pound and never hungry to a stark raving starving hungry person who gained weight at the snap of a fingers who went to my grandparents houses and first would hide from food and then shoveled food non stop. I went from being slighly under weight and taking up to a few days to eat a package of M&M's to severely overweight and ravenously ripping the package open and swallowing them all at once literally overnight. In essence, her illness started me on the road to a life long battle with weight and the inability to get the starvation mode turned off. Then when I was taken away by CPS from time to time when they bothered to follow up, the fostercare people would feel sorry for me and stuff me with yummy stuff I never had before like oreos and ice cream and potato chips and brownies and cakes for your birthday just for being alive(who knew about these things!) and it was the first time I had froot loops or Burger king or deep dish pizza! I fell in love with that stuff and as I got older and bounced between home and fostercare, those special treats became my comfort and it's amazing how our parents or even well meaning people can really screw us the hell up with food! I still want the comfort of stuffed crust pizza after a bad day and I still want a bowl of ice cream when I really need a hug instead. It's a process to break those associations for sure! I'm struggling now with the help of a good shrink to undo the damage, but cottage cheese to me always equals punishment. I've struggled with that my whole life and even though I bought some this week to try to develop a new association with it, I can't bring myself to open it. It's just sitting in the fridge taunting me! I know this is one I have to get past because I've read the post op diets and cottage cheese is a huge component in the soft food stage plans I've seen, but my body is already rebelling at the thought.

There were several things I looked for. First was a TEAM to help and not just a surgeon. I need a whole team of people from NUT to psych to surgeon. I also need them to be friendly. Even in bariatrics you find some surgeons and doctors who are very condescending and look down upon overweight people, like they think they are your super man saving you from your bad choices and you should be grateful to them for your existence. UH UH that doesn't work! I also need a surgeon who is honest and open about the not good sides. Like for instance, and this is probably why a lot of people don't like me, at my seminar, I asked the surgeon what was his death rate. I think I phrased it something like "how many patients under your care have you lost as a result of complication after surgery" and he was open and honest and told us about the numbers. That kind of openess is very much needed if you want the pleasure of rooting around inside my body one day making new express lanes and tole bridges. LOL They obviously also have to be able to handle my odd personality that only gets weirder the more they know me.

Have fun at the seminar! I didn't really want to go to it, because I figured I had researched everything and knew the in's and out's and for the most part I did. What I REALLY got out of the seminar was that I got to meet the lady who will be my face to face for the whole process and scheduling appts and dealing with insurance and everything and we hit it off great. She's a great lady and I got to meet my future surgeon Dr Chae and our personalities seem compatible which for me is a huge thing! If I perceive that someone is judging me or being rude and condescending, I can't cope and I am totally out the door, but after meet them both I was very much at ease and know I chose the right office. Plus my hospital where I'll have surgery is only 6 miles from home so I won't even have to stress a long car ride when the day comes and work myself into the Cowardly Lion by the time I get there! hhaha

Yeah, healthy and skinny I need.....sexy I've already got going on! LMAO

Good luck! I don't know about the risks of operations with only 1 1/3 lungs, but I'm sure your surgeon that you talk to would be able to tell you off the bat if that's a risk he/she would be willing to undertake or if they would have you get more testing to see if you meet the minimal requirements for lung function.

Oh gosh so many things....not having to lift my hanging belly up when I go to the bathroom to make sure my bladder empties, not having to rub gold bond medicated power under my fat belly and in my thigh creases to keep them from cracking and bleeding, not having to pull my back fat forward when putting on a bra to avoid back humps, not having to lay down in the bathtub with my feet in the air to shave because bending over makes me lightheaded, not asking my daughter to trim my nails because I keep pulling my side muscles when I do it myself from the contorted positions I have to get in, not having to buy shirts that go to my knees so people can't see how far down my fat belly hangs, not having to tuck said fat belly into my pants and try to make it not look like I'm smuggling a roll of Bologna down one leg or the other, not having to wear bike shorts under my skirts and dresses so A) the thighs don't rub and because I can't find underwear that fit properly and I'm afraid my poise pad might fall out of the other sizes leg holes and oddly shaped crotch as I walk????, not holding up my arm fat when I reach over a hot pan to turn the burner off, because I always burn my flabby arms, being able to walk into any store and KNOW they have my size and it's not one rack of granny clothes near the maternity section that sadly still won't fit right even if they are big enough because I'm too tall and they are too short, no sucking it in to put the seatbelt on, no sitting in my desk chair in the kitchen to cook and roll around to do dishes because standing for long period hurts too bad, and absolutely no looking into the mirror and crying. I promise myself when this is all over and done(probably after the plastic surgery) I will look in the mirror and be proud of all that I've accomplished and not focus on all that brought me to where I am right now.

My scale is a lying sack of crap. It's digital, but when I get on it the first time I'll get one reading, step off step back on something totally way off different, get off zero it out again and step on and get a number nowhere near the other two! I HATE that thing! I'm hoping to replace it soon, but the hubs is still mad that I spent nearly $100 on this "never fail" scale that is suppose to weigh without error up to 450lbs. It isn't and it doesn't.

OMG ADD LOL yeah that would totally be something that would happen to me. I took my daughter for her Autism eval once and they asked me if I knew I had Aspergers. I was like,uh no I don't. LOL

Yeah, we got this! I just wish I had done it earlier, but hey, 40 is the new 30, right? At 38, I'm just 28 so I've got a lot of living ahead of me....we can support each other! I'm excited for what the end of this year and 2016 will bring!

This I can really relate to. I quit smoking literally overnight with no problems. Same with alcohol, but for me, sugar and junk food, especially salty chips, are really my addiction. I salivate just thinking about it. If I get nothing else out of surgery, but some mastery over that painful hollow hunger feeling that hits when I'm about to "go off the wagon" then that will be well worth it.

Hi! I'm fairly new too. I've been here less than a week. I think if you've made the decision to go to the seminar your foot is halfway through the doorway. I actually contemplated getting a gastric bypass when I was in my 20's, but I wasn't in the right place yet. I wasn't "there" I still thought I could do it all on my own and I didn't want to give up Mt Dew and a big ole honkin' steak. fast forward here I am 38, and I'm over 100lbs heavier than when I first contemplated it and backed out. My knees are bad, my back hurts all the time, and I'm losing my mobility. I can still stand and walk, but by the end of grocery shopping, I'm winded, and my feet, legs, and back are killing me. My kids don't get to enjoy having their mom active in their lives, because I'm always having to sit down and put an ice pack on the pain of the moment. I WISH I had had the courage then to do what I hope I have the courage to do now. Does that make sense? It's scary and all, but I wish my older kids could have the mom I'm trying to get for our 1yr old, an active, fit, healthy, energetic, fun loving person instead of the moaning, tired, always in pain me that I am and have been for the others. I don't know if that influences your decision at all, but I wish someone could have shown me my future if I didn't have it then so I would have gone forward and regained those years I've spent just miserable and unable to be happy in my own body.

Good luck on your big day! I can't imagine how good it feels to know that by this time tomorrow you will be well on your way to a better life. Kinda jealous but very excited for you!

Congratulations! How exciting! I have to admit, the psych eval is the one that troubles me most, because I'm a bit of a quirky personality and either people think I'm crazy or incredibly funny or they hate me from the moment I say hi. I don't know why.....I just elict strong emotions from people! LOL I'm hoping I don't go in there and say something totally assanine and end up getting a referral for my "obvious" mental problems. LOL

I don't envy you at all. I did a whole cabbage soup diet only it was cabbage soup and more cabbage soup with a side of cabbage soup and for dessert, MORE cabbage soup! It was the WORST diet of my life and put me off cabbage for a good 10yrs. Seriously nasty stuff. I think I'd rather have to eat Jello, mainly because I hate jello anyway and I won't feel bad not wanting to eat Jello for the next 10yrs! haha

I think each office must really run things differently OR I'm greatly unprepared for my first appt! My coordinator told me that my first appt will be roughly 1 1/2hrs and that is split between the dietitian and the surgeon. I assume scales will be involved, because well, it's a doctor's office and they love that sort of thing and it's for weightloss so they can't tell me how much to lose if we don't have a starting point, but *gasp* no one has mentioned the psych eval, EKG's or anything else. I hope I'm not in for a surprise.

Thank you all for such a warm welcome!

I'm definitely planning on at least a 6 month wait, but I guess I'm more afraid that it'll be done and ready to go in 3 months and I won't be ready. I have 7 kids and I home school the older ones, so I really need to plan my surgery around my down times in the school year. If I miss Christmas break(which I am totally expecting to and ok with) then our next break is April when we get out of school which is what I want to aim for. The idea of homeschooling through the operation recovery or worse yet, letting my husband run the school, really aren't appealing. LOL

The one I get from whole foods isn't sweetened at all or flavored which is nice because I can make it my own way with either fruit or Splenda and cocoa powder for a chocolaty protein smoothie I can stomach without headaches. It's just a whey protein powder, but not sure if it meets the needs of the pre or post op diets yet.

So I'm just starting out on my journey and have my first appt Fri. My insurance is aetna and I read my plan and it said in the details that there was a 6 month supervised diet or a pre-operative surgical plan at a Center of Excellence at least 3 months prior to date of surgery...so does that mean that I might not have to do the 6 month thing if the office I chose has some sort of regime? I'm not fully understanding since everywhere I see the 6 month wait on the supervised diet. Has anyone out there done the surgeon's office pre operative thing in lieu of the 6 month diet and been fully approve for surgery?

My plan is Aetna and they prefer at Center of Excellence but will pay at a greatly reduced rate for a non center of excellence per my plan(it varies so check your plan specifically). So basically, I'd pay more out of pocket for less assurance (in theory) that my surgeon is capable, culpable, and able to meet my needs. That's how I look at it. I chose a center of excellence because I want to know that I'm getting the best for my money and hopefully can avoid un wanted complications from a less experienced surgeon.

It's normal to be scared. Honestly, I briefly looked into Bariatric surgery in my 20's when I first hit over 300lbs, but I was too scared to move forward and too unwilling to let go of my comfort blanket of fat that has safely kept me from having to awkwardly interact with people. It's all I've ever known and it scared me to consider losing that wall of protection. Now here I am, a mom with 7 kids and a husband I love beyond the world, but I'm now super morbidly obese and my body is failing me. I've got bad knees, bad back, can't breathe when I walk, and yes, after 7 kids and being huge, I pee when I sneeze, cough, jump(if only I still could). It's embarrassing! My life is deteriorating. If I could go back in time and talk to myself 10yrs ago, I'd say hey! Soda and steak is not worth the misery in your future. Just do it and unzip the miserable fat suit so you can enjoy your life with your kids. They grow up way too fast and I regret not being able to be more active with my older kids. I'm hoping if I lose the weight now, my baby, who just turned 1, will have the mother my other kids deserved, but I was too afraid to let out. Don't make the mistake I did out of fear. If you walk away from surgery, let it be because you solved the problem without the need, but don't not do it out of fear, because the years inbetween will be wasted in a pain riddled body like they are for me. I can't get them back. I look toward 40 and think it's time to be free.

Thank you!