Apples2

My friend is a director at a home for head injury clients. It's not so much our friend that is getting to us and having her stay here. And it's not that we don't have the room. We are empty nesters with a five bedroom house and a full basement not being used. :tongue::cursing: It is the fact that she is letting that ass, who broke her world into a million pieces, collect money from her because he cannot pay is mortgage. He's 61 for F___ sake. She's 45. There was not one thing that bothered us until we found out two weeks ago that she is still paying him that $450 a month. She is basically easy to have around but a person really does start noticing someone's quirks after a few weeks! Glouchester...it really is difficult sometimes to say exactly what a person wants to in a situation such as this. It is great to help people out but you don't want to walk away feeling used either. I guess I would hold onto the desk if I were you and wait until your roomy comes up with what she owes you. We learn from our mistakes. We did in our situation also. We won't be so quick to let someone move in next time.

You have a better way to pass the time, Kathy?????? I leave in an hour for the hospital. Surgery at 1:30pm. I am actually feeling very calm and was yesterday also. Slept pretty good. Only thing left to do is jump in the shower, shave my pits, grab my comfy capris and I'm on to a new life!!! Oh yeah, better find my cute sandals and then I'm ready to get into band life. I am so psyched for this. I have vowed to follow every band rule, take this day by day and have a positive attitude. Thanks to everyone for the well-wishes. Again, to all you having the procedure today and tomorrow...Blessings and a speedy recovery. Please....everyone keep us informed on how you are doing. It helps so much to know how each and everyone of you are doing. I know that there are going to be some great friendships that come together with our June Jazzies. I soooooooooo look forward to taking this journey with all of you. Karen:eek:

Kizzie...things will be fine. Just try to calm yourself. Wising you luck tomorrow. It will be good to have it behind you. You will be in my prayers tomorrow along with all the other 18th people. I am getting done today. I leave for the hospital in about an hour. Just keeping busy doing housework, etc. and just focusing on the end result. Loves and hugs

Glouchester...in a similar situation at our house. Have a good friend that found out her SO was cheating on her. She called me as soon as it happened and asked if she could move in with us for two weeks. That was March 12th. Today is June 17th. After finding out about her cheating ass SO, she made a payment on a house. She actually came up with 1/2 of the purchase price and signed a contract for deed for the other 1/2. Well, the biggest mistake she made was not insisting she get into the house to inspect it. It is unliveable. She had rented this house two years ago b/4 she moved in with SO and it was so cute and clean and neat. The last renters had 4 dogs (lease said no pets) and three cats. The owner lived right across the street and never knew they had pets. Needless to say, all the floors are urine soaked, they took off with the appliances and air conditioner. This thing will most likely go to court because it will take at least $5000 to get the place to where she can live in it and here we sit with a roomy that is still paying $450 to her SO to help him with his mortgage and says she cannot afford to pay us rent. She eats two meals a day with us, does not pay for tpaper, laundry soap, etc. When she moved in she brought 3 trailers of furniture, etc. with her so my garage and basement are full. She is depressed ALL OF THE TIME because of her situation with the house and with her SO. We felt so sorry for her when she moved in (and thought that it would only be a couple of weeks) that we told her we didn't want rent when she offered to pay. Now we wish we could collect enough just not to feel we are being used but she says shehas no funds because she is helping dumb ass with his bills. We do have some sympathy for her situation but it's wearing thin and we are starting to feel used. I don't want her to have to sign a year lease on an apt., move all her stuff and then have her house available in two months and move all of her stuff again. My DH and I decided we would sit her down and insist on $100 for the next months that she is here. Reasonable and should cover the cost of food, supples, etc. Biggest problem for me is that her and I have been so close and really good friends. I have a feeling if this goes on much longer I will suggest her get an apt. instead of ruining a friendship. My DH and I figure we can go till Sept. and that's it. What gets to me most is not reimbursement it's just putting up with someone for that long in the house. I just want my house back!

Hey Divamom...how ya doin'? Anxious to hear from you.

MacMadame...Pretty difficult to MYOB when you feel someone is out there hurting themselves three days out of surgery. Two ham sandwiches and a candy bar? Go see a psych. Not a lot of sympathy can come from me in a situation like that and I do not respond to a post like that. On the other hand, someone three days out of surgery who just does not know how to read their symptoms, I don't want to MYOB. I want to respond even if their post is just common knowledge to most.

HURRY!!!!!!!!!!!! GET OVER THE SINK.........NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Best of luck, Shome. Wishing you a speedy recovery and a successful band life!!!! Hugs

Sending luck back at ya! Keep us informed!

Looks like we are about an hour apart. Mine is about 1:30pm. Good luck to you, ITeach! :sad:

Thanks for the words of support and encouragement, Cathy. Happy to hear you are now back and work and doing fine. I am looking forward to this time next week. I am one of those that cannot take pain meds but have a feeling I will do just fine. Came home from having hernia surgery (six inch incision) and did pretty good without meds. I have liquid Tylenol on hand (night time also).

Tomorrow is the day. Want to wish my fellow June 17 banders the best of luck and also wishing you an uncomplicated band life. I thought I would be nervous. I must have gotten all of it out of my system in the last few weeks. A certain calm came over me last week and I know I am ready for this. The plan I have set in place is to follow the band rules to a T and to go into all of this with a positive attitude no matter what my pop up down the road. I am so ready for this lifestyle change. Karen

Hi to all the Fifties gang...I have not posted on this thread for awhile. Guess I just kind of got hung up in my Jazzy Junes. TOMORROW IS MY DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I thought I would be more nervous but a calm came over me last week and I know it's because I am truly ready for the band and my new life. I have researched everything inside and out and am going in to this with a positive attitude. Janet...your photos are impressive. I need to connect with you ladies on this thread a bit more than I have been. I check it each day though.

Attention all Jazzy Junes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Heading out to the lake until the day b/4 my surgery on the 17th. Want to wish all who are having their procedures in the next few days good luck, a speedy recovery and a great band life! Hugs! To all the Jazzy Junes b/4 the rest of us: Hope things are going well. I love it that you are all sharing so much. Hugs to all of you, too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everyone have a wonderful weekend.

You're one day behind me, Kathy. 8lbs! Great! I haven't stepped on the scale this week. Going to stay away from it for about a month if I can help it. Been kind of at a plateau since losing my 50lbs and don't want to get down about it. Aren't we a great group of Jazzy Junes? Take care and good luck!:teeth_smile:

I would make a call to her dr. and let him know of her symptoms.

Hey Cathy, Can relate to the smell of food and the hunger kicking in. I am on day 8 of my pre-op diet. We live on a farm and I cook three scare meals a day for the hired help. Yesterday I was cooking something that smelled sooooooooooo good. My stomach started talking and I started to drool like my black lab when he is offered a treat! Happy to hear things are settling down some for you. You have the right attitude about sharing your story. We all need to hear what we might be in for.

Wasa...good luck adjusting to your change. Hope everything goes smoothly for you.

Shiny and Kat....thanks for sharing. Just walked in the door from my last visit with my surgeon b/4 my surgery on the 17th. I was choked up and nervous and thinking "Well, this is it...my life will never be the same again". It was somewhat a negative thought. Reading your posts re-instilled in me the reason I am doing this surgery. I want all those things that you both have experience. I want my life back. I want the confidence I once had. I want to go all the way and get that TT. Thanks girls for making my day! Sending the love your way

Isn't it amazing how much energy comes from even 10lbs of weight loss? Wishing you and your husband continued success!

Thanks Terri....I appreciate your concern but it is what it is. I have to hang on to that little bit of not forgiving. He ruled me for so many years...it's my way of having the upper hand and in some way I feel like I am protecting myself. I cannot let him off the hook totally.

Terri...I could see where you thought my post contradicted each other. Sometimes it would be easier face to face when talking about a subject that is so intense. I do live with the hell of what happened every day. It's part of me. I have learned to let so much of it go but it will always be there. The point I made of being "truly happy" is because I have filled so many voids in my life and moved on the best I could. I did not say that I have not forgiven. I said I have not done at total forgiveness. As far as the "somewhat functional life" I live...it's the best that I can do with the damage that has been done. I said I was at peace after confronting my abuser and I mean that. I believe I have made great strides in working very hard to live as normal as possible after the trauma that was inflicted on me. I do not walk around with great anger in me. There is just part of me that will never forgive him "totally"

What drew me to this thread was the word "forgive". I can forgive people and myself for certain things. But some deeds just plain don't deserve total forgiveness. Maybe to totally forgive, the other party needs to ask for forgiveness and mean it. I live with the horror of what happened to me every day. I am only able to live a somewhat functional life after 5 years of therapy. My abuser is the mayor of a city and an oh so respected member of society. Nope...I can not forgive until he owns up.

Hey Fanny..great NSV. Cannot wait to have one like that!

Thanks for the updates. Happy to hear you guys are on the road to recovery and doing well.