lauraellen80

No worries, @@BigViffer! I actually wasn't sure where to put the topic, but because this sort of issue seems to affect women more so than men, this is where I ended up posting it.

Thanks for the kind words and the insightful thoughts, everyone. I've posted before about how I was a ballet dancer growing up, which skewed my perception in weird ways. I have definitely internalized a lot of negative ideas about my appearance, femininity, etc. over the years. And now that I'm putting more time and effort into clothes and make-up, I'm spending a lot more time in front of the mirror these days. Like I said in an earlier reply, I have a lot of fodder for my next therapy session! Oh, I normally would have worn more fun shoes (I have some really cute red wedges that'd look great with this dress) and in warmer weather gone sans tights, but this was actually take when I was dressed to go to the funeral of an acquaintance (I had my husband take the pic to show my mom the dress, which I'd just gotten), so I thought red shoes might be inappropriate! Ah, yes... when I think about it, the last time I was at this weight was 20 years ago when I was 15 years old. It really isn't fair to myself to compare to how I looked as a dewy teenager (who even then thought she was fat and ugly, honestly).

Oh, don't get me started on how I look when I smile... my eyes get all crinkled up and I look all wrinkled and squinty...

I have had relationships end, fail to start, or become soured because of my looks, though. From a guy in college who liked me enough to make out with me in my dorm but bluntly told me that I wasn't pretty enough and didn't have big enough boobs and a small enough waist to be "girlfriend material" for him, to a serious relationship that ended because he was "repulsed" by me after I'd gained 15-20 pounds and felt like I'd somehow tricked him into thinking I had myself more together than I really did... ugh. I now have a husband who loves me no matter what and finds me attractive, so I should just let those old experiences go. Well, I've got something to talk about next week in therapy.

Yes, that's me. And my sweet old pup in the background. Glad to hear that I don't fit in with the typical attention-whores. I would like to think that I'm not looking for validation or compliments... rather, I guess I'm posting from a place of frustration that I'm still unhappy with how I look after all this and am wondering if others deal with the same thing. One of the things that keep happening is that I'll take a picture or see a picture of myself now and initially think, "All right, I look pretty good!" But then I look at it again, more closely, and see all these flaws. I avoided pictures of myself entirely when I was at my heaviest, so it may also be that I got used to willfully ignoring how I looked and just assuming the answer was "gross." And now I'm paying a lot more attention to how I look and am now noticing all these little details that didn't seem to matter before. I'm also one of those annoying people who likes to copy-edit, so details that no one else notices and/or cares about are kinda my thing.

I love all cheese, but Kerrygold Dubliner is one of my faves

I'm about 9 months post op and almost 20 pounds below goal. I should be happy with myself and feel beautiful, no? No. So, I was never the fat girl who got told, "But you have such a pretty face!" I chalked it up to the fact that my face is the first place I gain weight, and at my heaviest I looked really bloated in my face. As I lost weight, I guess I was thinking that I might end up being pretty. But if anything, all my facial flaws that were once covered in a layer of fat are now exposed. I feel like now I'm a "butter face"... or worse, a deflated former fat girl with a jiggly stomach, droopy butt, AND an ugly face. I look at pictures of myself and insteading of finding pride in how I look now, I just find new things to pick apart. I've started looking up facial plastic surgery procedures (not that I'd ever have the money to do it) to see if I can be "fixed"--my eyes are really asymmetrical (one is smaller and more closed-looking than the other), the distance between my nose and upper lip is too great and makes me look monkey-like, my lower face is too large gives me this uneven lopsided look, my nose is big and bumpy... and on and on. Has anyone else felt like this? And before anyone suggests it--yes, I'm already in therapy! :/

I don't weigh daily, as I know it would screw with my head! I find that the daily fluctuations don't necessarily correlate to what I ate the day before and can be weird and random. I weigh myself Monday mornings and log it in MyFitnessPal. I might step on the scale another morning or two, but I don't record it. I'm in maintenance now, but I did it this way through the weight loss phase as well.

I briefly had the Mirena IUD about 8 years ago, when I was in my mid-20s. I've never had kids, and I also have a crazy-sensitive vagus nerve. The insertion was painful and crampy, but I also had a vaso-vagal reaction and nearly blacked out before barfing all over the doctor's office. I had cramping, bleeding, and I generally felt like crap for the next couple months. I went back to my gynecologist to have it removed, only to find they my body was already attempting to expel it, and it was partially out of my uterus. I know other people who love theirs, and I think they are a great option, but it just wasn't the right option for me. My body did. not. want. it. in. there.

A big part of still feeling "fat" for me is the loose skin on my stomach. It's minimal, I admit, but it just looks so ugly to me. I also feel like I look older and like I have really dark circles under my eyes. I'm super pale right now--I had my surgery last June and then spent another 2 weeks in July mostly inside a hospital when my dad was sick, so I think that even the minimal tan I normally get in the summer just wasn't there, and I've only gotten more pale over the winter months--so I think that's why it is so noticeable to me. I've gotten comments from other people--both people that I know and from strangers--that indicate that if anything, I look younger now, so I dunno.

I've exceeded my surgeon's average estimated weight loss (60-70% of total excess weight) by about 50 pounds. In fact, I had exceeded it by my 3-month follow-up appointment... what can I say, I've always been an overachiever. I'm 5'2", and I had initially set my personal goal at 145, which would have still put me in the "overweight" category, but it was the lowest I could mentally wrap my mind around weighing. I revised down to 135 (right at the top of the "normal" range) once I realized that I'd easily get down to 145. Then I revised again to 125. I'm down to 116.5 at the moment, and my goal for maintenance is to stay somewhere in the range between 115 and 125.

I live in Montgomery County, and I had my surgery at Einstein in East Norriton with Dr. Dallal. Both the hospital and my surgeon have been great. They offer regular seminars on their bariatric surgery program, and they will give you lots of information to take home. I also have Keystone Health Plan East, and my surgery was covered... maybe it's the specific plan, but you may want to double check. I only had to meet the requirement of a BMI of 40 or above (or 35 with comorbidities) for coverage. The folks in the program at Einstein will look up your insurance stuff for you at the outset to determine if you are covered. Good luck! I'd be happy to answer any other questions you have!

The mint chocolate Quest bars taste a lot like Thin Mints. That is what I hope will get me through!

My surgeon had no driving restrictions, other than that I was no longer taking the prescription pain meds. I don't think I drove for 2 weeks, though, simply because I was off work and didn't need to. I wouldn't recommend driving on a long road trip for a few weeks, until your incisions have healed up some, if you can help it. I did a 3-hour drive to the shore about 3 weeks after surgery, and it was a bit uncomfortable. It's not going to hurt anything, per se, but it's uncomfortable. I take a Centrum adult chewable multivitamin every evening, and a Bariatric Advantage 500 mg chewable calcium citrate in the morning. Technically, I should do two of the calcium supplements, but I had concerns about increased risk of heart disease linked to calcium supplements (my dad has heart failure and recently underwent a triple bypass)--I talked it over with my surgeon, and while he thinks the risk of heart disease is very low, he also thinks that the benefit of calcium supplements for sleeve patients is negligible, and my labs are good, so he OK'ed me just taking one a day. My surgeon had no driving restrictions, other than that I was no longer taking the prescription pain meds. I don't think I drove for 2 weeks, though, simply because I was off work and didn't need to. I wouldn't recommend driving on a long road trip for a few weeks, until your incisions have healed up some, if you can help it. I did a 3-hour drive to the shore about 3 weeks after surgery, and it was a bit uncomfortable. It's not going to hurt anything, per se, but it's uncomfortable. I take a Centrum adult chewable multivitamin every evening, and a Bariatric Advantage 500 mg chewable calcium citrate in the morning. Technically, I should do two of the calcium supplements, but I had concerns about increased risk of heart disease linked to calcium supplements (my dad has heart failure and recently underwent a triple bypass)--I talked it over with my surgeon, and while he thinks the risk of heart disease is very low, he also thinks that the benefit of calcium supplements for sleeve patients is negligible, and my labs are good, so he OK'ed me just taking one a day. My surgeon had no driving restrictions, other than that I was no longer taking the prescription pain meds. I don't think I drove for 2 weeks, though, simply because I was off work and didn't need to. I wouldn't recommend driving on a long road trip for a few weeks, until your incisions have healed up some, if you can help it. I did a 3-hour drive to the shore about 3 weeks after surgery, and it was a bit uncomfortable. It's not going to hurt anything, per se, but it's uncomfortable. I take a Centrum adult chewable multivitamin every evening, and a Bariatric Advantage 500 mg chewable calcium citrate in the morning. Technically, I should do two of the calcium supplements, but I had concerns about increased risk of heart disease linked to calcium supplements (my dad has heart failure and recently underwent a triple bypass)--I talked it over with my surgeon, and while he thinks the risk of heart disease is very low, he also thinks that the benefit of calcium supplements for sleeve patients is negligible, and my labs are good, so he OK'ed me just taking one a day.

I haven't had plastics, but since my weight loss, I've had the same problem. My armpit is like the Grand Canyon!

I love these roasted chickpeas. They make a great snack or addition to my lunch. http://saffronroadfood.com/crunchy-chickpeas/

I also had surgery in June. I eat 2-3 oz of protein per meal. Sometimes as a portion of chicken breast, pork loin, etc. Sometimes an ounce of meat plus an ounce of cheese.

I'll be eight months next week. I did go over 1000 one day, but it was an extremely long, active day.Well, I feel like a pig now. I am at 1300 calories a day at a little over 8 months. Are you still in the losing phase or in maintenance?

I've posted before about my issues with BMI charts and what's considered "normal." At my 6-month follow up with my surgeon, he told me to expect to start hearing people close to me say that I'm losing "too much" weight and to ignore them--they are used to seeing me 100+ pounds heavier, so their perceptions are way skewed. And sure enough, my mom (who ironically was the one who brought up the idea of WLS in the first place) and a couple other people have commented on how thin I am. But people who have just met me seem to just think that I'm a smaller, petite person. I'm still well within the "normal" weight range for my height, and I still want to get more muscle tone. Like others said, I do want to be under my goal weight so that I have room for the "bounce" that is typical.

I typically have 2-3 ounces of Protein, 1/4 cup of veggies, and sometimes 1/4 cup of a starchy veggie

I order mine from charliebean.com I was getting them on Amazon, but they are waaaayyyyy cheaper thru Charlie Bean

I'm only 8 months out, but I'm at about 1300 calories per day, and I'm not nearly as active as you are. I'd say that you could easily add in another 100-200 calories, maybe more. I'm currently trying to figure out how many calories I need to maintain.

I waited about a month... maybe two? I drink 2-3 cups a day (plus sometimes a cup of decaf in the evening). I use Torani sugar-free syrups and 2% Fairlife milk. Or if I'm out, I put in Splenda and vanilla soymilk. Or Splenda and half and half, if I'm at a diner or something.