pumpkin07

Does life suck? Well, my daddy taught me early on "life is not fair". You just cannot expect it to be. But yeah, it can still piss you off, right?. With women, I feel rejection at either weight bc when I am fat I can make friends better with other fat women, maybe cause we eat together. But becoming a more normal weight has changed my friendships. I lost the closeness of a fatty friend I think maybe bc of surgery. There are certainly women that were more comfortable with me fat. But then again I just hang out with my thinner friends. It really doesn't bother me with women - I don't take it personal bc I accept the fact that women want to be friends with people they have stuff in common with. The hurtful part to me is when you want a significant partner and you have a lot to offer, but can't attract a man of true caliber that is your equal in many ways. BC lets face it, excessive body fat is a turn off to many men who tend to be on the healthy side of things. I'm sure there are exceptions. I have a husband who really prefers me slightly overweight but not skinny and not obese. That works for me. But to tell the truth I met him when I was slightly overweight (after losing some weight) and then I gained weight after birth of our kids. He hung in there, but he was thrilled with weight loss. He loved me, but he is healthy and wants me to be the same, and he is more attracted to a more normal weight woman. I see men looking at me now, but I'm 47 so I'm not even sure what they are thinking. Sometimes it is nice to get attention, but sometimes I'd rather be invisible bc there is a peace/tranquility there. There was a time I was overweight and alone. And it was sad, but such a damn peaceful time in my life with lots of time for self reflection, personal growth compared to now married with two kids and a busy career. AGH. Now I have to stay up late to find a thought for myself. But of course I'm happier, not as sad or lonely. But just sometimes I'd like to sink back in for a couple weeks just to get some peace and rest. Hang in there...we're just hotties now and we gotta get the pennies b/c we were obviously shorted a few earlier in our lives....lol

I don't know, seem a bit slow. Slow isn't all bad. I'm almost 11 mos out and I have lost I think 85 percent of my excess weight but I have a pretty low goal. I seem to have started maintaining a bit early, but then I will drop a few pounds. I'll lose 4 then regain 2 and so forth. It makes progress downward but slowly now, very slowlllllly I got scared I wouldn't be able to stop losing, I think to the point that I started adding in too much sugar/carbs I wanted to prove to myself that I could maintain I think bc my doctor scared me a bit I've been struggling to lose 2-4 lbs a month now. You and I both need to kind of push it a bit harder I think with exercise. When I exercise vigorously, even walking all day bc of work or an event I tend to lose weight. Sounds like you are not quite getting the nutrition just right nor the exercise. I can so relate to that as I've just kind of relaxed into this whole thing But I think if we choose one or the other it will jumpstart the weight loss, right? I mean perhaps doing both right is hard but focusing on at least 1 of those should make a difference. I want to start adding in 30 minutes of exercise every day, kind of my New Years Resolution for the Whole Year of 2011.

Wondering if you are feeling better yet...

Sometimes people on the outside can see things you cannot see so clearly. It is obvious from your post you need to not only see your doctor but you need some crisis/psychiatric intervention. Perhaps you need to sort of go through some intensive treatment and advocacy to get adjusted to your sleeve. You are excited to lose weight, you realize you have lost too much too fast, and yet you are so afraid to gain that you will not consume food that your body needs to heal and survive. These are just not rational thoughts in my opinion. You need to realize that to be healthy you need to eat and drink as specified by your doctor. And you are taking a long time to find solutions to your problems!!!. I'm sure there are liquid meds the doctor can give you in place of pills, but meanwhile don't wait too long to GET help. Your doctor is not a psychiatrist though - if you feel like you are struggling emotionally with this adjustment you need to seek help now. I'm sure our surgeon can give you a referral It is tough. I had a hard time too, and people here had to wake me up. But it might not be enough. You have to love yourself enough to really seek out solutions to the physical or emotional problems you are having.

It does sound like she is talking about gastric bypass. And that she is not real informed about WLS in general. This is why I pretty much don't discuss anymore with most people. Very few people have a clue about this surgery. I think we'll be okay. I do know someone that had this surgery like 10 years ago due to stomach cancer and she is thin, but not too thin. She looks good and she feels good. She does take Vitamins and still eats small meals.

I am still sometimes shocked how much people eat. Isn't that funny when I used to be one of them. I have nacho memories myself, bc after my sleeve we went to a party where they had simple nachos w jalapenos which I love. I should have just had one at least with cheese bc I was probably salivating I wanted one so bad. I did have that nacho a few weeks/months later. We went to a place that sells them and I insisted my husband buy me nachos and I ate like 2 and then said okay, I'm done. It was so funny my husband was kinda ticked b/c they were like $3.00 for 2 bites. Now I can eat more, but it was so funny at the time. Best damn nacho I ever had .

I am so happy for you. What a great holiday present to yourself, right? I'm sure last Christmas we were all pretty different. I'm trying to remember last Christmas, and honestly I haven't a clue. Seems like a lifetime ago. But one thing I know is I was FAT lol. It feels good to have done something truly magniicent in one year.

I'm a 34C. Haha just kidding about the C part. But my doctor insisted to use a 34, but I wanted a 40. He said to trust him. But I know other doctors who won't do less than a 40.

When you say zero issues, does that mean you don't have reflux? Just curious. I would say I battle with this and haven't quite figured it out. I don't want to take Prilosec every day but instead take it when I need it. But I'd rather not have reflux. Just curious. I have wondered if it is bc I have a 34 boughie, bc my cousin got a 40 boughie and I don't think she is having the exact problem.

It is just weird. My frame is getting smaller now, and my husband comments. Definitely I've turned a head or two which is totally awesome. People who have known me a very long time now tell me I look more how I used to look which is nice. But I can't see myself. I have to ask my husband to show me someone that is my size. If I see my shadow it still looks big to me. I also have an edgeyness to me that is still that defensive fat mechanism or something. I don't feel normal yet, if I ever will. I am still overweight but in a few more pounds I will be normal weight for my height. Incredible, but no, I don't feel it either. I love the smaller clothes, love love love them. I do think sometimes other people have gotten used to me this way as they rarely comment anymore. I like that, I would like others to forget I was ever fat. This little guy at work, he must be like 22, made a comment to someone that if he hopes when he is married and my age he has a wife that looks as hot as I do. I was like !!!!!!?????!!!!! I mean, he is a bit cross eyed himself, so take it with a grain of salt. But it was still a nice compliment. And I know how you feel about being given the XXL shirt. Someone actually gave me a Lane Bryant gift card for Xmas and I about died. I cannot wear a pair of underwear from there anymore. It really hurt my feelings, bc it was at work and I had mentioned a Brighton gift, and I wonder if someone thought I said Lane Bryant. They were all so proud to get me a gift I couldn't say anything. But it was weird bc they also got me size Medium regular pajamas, so why the Lane Bryant card? The only thing I could figure out is that is what someone thought I said, or that my coworker remembers seeing me shop there before. She has never been overweight, so maybe she is clueless. Actually I'm pretty certain I wear the same size she does now!. I think I'm going to save the card to buy something for someone else like my SIL, or I could send it to my SIL. But then I feel bad doing that in a way. If I find the receipt at work I'm grabbing it and returning it.

I am extremely hypothyroid which started with a goiter at 12 years old. I'm 47 now. I was a slightly chubby but fit child, a slim fit teen, and started gaining weight crazily in my late 20's. It came to a point I could not lose weight, no willpower. I maintained pretty well, but every couple years I would add a few lbs. Just never really lost weight, only a slow slow gain. I am short and weighed 220 when I went to get WLS. As a teen I was 102 lbs for a few years, then 115, then 125...you know how it goes for many women. No longer fit, no longer real high energy. My life is sort of in peaks and valleys. I'm definitely in a valley right now wishing I had more energy. Some people talk about more energy after losing the weight, but for me I have more stamina but still feel a bit tired. I chose this surgery bc I knew the only way I would lose weight was to live with caloric restriction. Bc my metabolism is just low. And I couldn't live on caloric resriction without some help with the sleeve. It is working. Sometimes I think I could manage better with a slightly bigger sleeve, bc it does feel like overkill in some ways. But it is what it is, and my thyroid doesn't seem to have been helped or hurt by this surgery. My blood work has always been fine, it just isn't an issue. ONe thing I did a few years ago was switch to Armour thyroid which is natural. I don't do well on the synthetic hormones.

I think he sounds uninterested. Some people think this is too personal to discuss or are simply not interested. I was very open, but few people are interested. I mean, people comment on the weight loss and are nosey enough to find out how I'm doing it, but once I say surgery that seems to be enough information for them. Even my husband didn't learn all the details of the surgery - just trusted that I chose the right surgery. He doesn't have a weight problem and he just isn't interested in the subject of weight loss. He also wasn't a husband that badgered me about being overweight which I appreciated. Sounds like this person might not be a main support system...hopefully you have a good friend or family member that will step in more.

I like the idea of starting with the 15 minutes and slowly going up from there. I'd like to walk, do light weights at home (we have a small gym here that I don't use), and do pilates. I am going to commit to start with the walking tomorrow. That shouldn't be too hard.

Thank God that I survived this. I want to also become more fit and better at Vitamins. Kind of my goal to get better at this things now so when I'm at goal I'm all done. I want to do Pilates.

Definitely my PMS is worse since surgery. My periods were heavy and more frequent. My periods now are more normal I guess - no clotting at all. But the PMS is such a bitch. It is like by the time I start my period I've already cramped, been a bitch for several days, bloated and come down from that, etc. Then after all that is DONE I'll start my period and it is just sort of flows for a 2-3 days but no cramping, no bitchiness, etc. I guess I never really had PRE MS before, it was cramping and bitchiness during my period. Now it alllll happens before my period. Lovely.

So sorry to hear you are not feeling great. My doctor said to try to get half the Protein in, but he admitted even that can be hard. But truthfully I lived on weak Koolaid, sweet Jello, 1 Protein Drink a day that took a while to get down, and lots of hearty chicken broth that I would sip like tea. My first real food eventually was cottage cheese and I began to puree some of the boiled chicken and put it in my broth. It was actually very satisfying. I just had to get down what I could get down. I too had regrets afterwards, but eventually you will realize its done so its a sip at a time, a minute by minute, hour by hour thing. Try not to think too far ahead. Try to go in survival mode and hunker down into yourself, meditate, pray, read inspirational things or listen to them. No negative influences. Anyone who is not your cheerleader is not allowed. Bc no goin backwards now. You will do well. You will. Your husband sounds like a good support system, but he may begin to get a bit afraid. You gotta stay strong for him too. My husband kind of got scared when I couldn't eat and was crying and stuff. He still remembers that and talks about it.

I would think the hard candy or gum would be BAD idea bc what if you momentarily forget and it breaks and you swallow it? That is why I didn't chew gum, which I wanted to do also. I did have oatmeal and it was nice. You can make it sort of thinish. It has a little chew to it.

Perhaps another consideration for him could be gastric plication since it is reversible but still has restriction. Asking the doctor for suggestions is your best bet. Perhaps the sleeve is too drastic.

Thanks for posting. I realized one day that I had been fat for 20 years...20 years. Almost half my life. And I was like "Ummmm...SELF: let's try something different for the NEXT 20 years". That is what triggered me to finally give in to WLS. Not that I had been dieting or not dieting, bc I was not a good dieter. But whatever I was doing, was NOT working for 20 years already. So what did I need...ANOTHER 20 years to realize that I needed ummm....some assistance with this process of losing weight? I was ready! I went to a reputable doctor ready to strip naked and say here I am, what surgery do you truly recommend especially for ME? Fortunately my insurance did not cover WLS so I think that freed up my and my surgeon's brain to go for the sleeve. A lot of people in his office were getting other surgeries that insurance would pay for, while I was able to choose my surgery. So actually for me that was a good thing. Since that time the insurance companies have slowly been coming on board with the sleeve I guess. And my husband changed jobs so now we have BCBS also...so I think wow, I could have waited a year...but I wouldn't change it actually bc I here I sit typing this with normal blood pressure, lower lipid panel, after sleeping well a night without snoring. And best of all here I sit in my size 8P pants, feeling hip bones and ribs and collar bones long ago forgotten...my hair is curled, make up on - I am actually ALIVE! A friend of mine told me this weekend..."you look like....YOU - from a long time ago"!! So that is what will happen to you...you will get your life! There are risks, definitely. I worry about long term things at times. But I had long term problems before too...they just will be different. My prayer is any long term concerns/consequences of this surgery be manageable. That is my prayer. Definitely removing 85% of your stomach is radical, no question. I wonder if it can be comprehended before surgery, bc for me I honestly did not grasp it fully. But then again I had my surgery within a month of learning about the sleeve. I seriously mourned the loss of my stomach, my organ. It was very scarey to me to live without my comforting friend, my big ole stomach. But living without most of it has been a good thing for me so far, I feel full and satisfied with less food. I did lose weight and have not lost too much weight. That is what I needed...less food intake! The sleeve is a proactive, successful solution to a long term, life-cratering weight problem. I like being proactive, and I was tired of the years of passivity with regard to my weight issues. That is why I took the risk. That said, I thank my surgeon for doing a good job! All the advice here about getting the right surgeon that has been extremely successful in doing hundreds of sleeves is the best advice you may ever get in your life! When I had my surgery there was another man in my area of town that innocently chose the same procedure with a different route, with an apparently less reputable surgeon than I found, and it is also possible my friend might have overdid it too soon after surgery (his words-not sure what he meant but I take that to mean he did not follow all the guidelines for activity or eating post surgery) - and I believe he eventually died from complications of this surgery. It was unfathomable to me that I was right down the road, had the same surgery, and lived. My heart broke into a million pieces for him and his family. So take your time, and do what is best after listening to a lot of smart people here. It is risky, but if done well it can be the beginning of a wonderful adventure.

Congratulations! THat is such good news. It is sad to think you cannot have a biological child, until you think of a baby all alone in the world needing a family. Destiny takes many forms.....I pray your family is complete soon!

That is funny. Treat yourself for Christmas - if I was your coworker I'd be buying you more scrubbies...You deserve to look good. I know it is weird to get compliments, but believe me, you'll get accustomed to it. They've probably been wanting to say something for a while.

So sorry. I'm sure it is very painful and is/was very scarey for you. These complications are quite scarey and make any surgery something to ponder. But thankful you are home and prayerfully on the mend.

I think it is worth looking into plication too though. They didn't have that when I got the sleeve. The fact that it is reversible might be a good thing. I do worry about my little pouch and the fact that my stomach tissue is gone forever except for this little part. If I were you I would wait a year and see how the plication works out for people.

What you are experiencing is normal compared to my experiences 10 months ago. You are still swollen on the inside. You will have less restriction later, and you will come to settle in to a place you are happy. I get as excited to go eat as ever, but truly some days I can eat more than others. Usually I cut the bread in half bc otherwise I fill up too much. I might take one bite or two as a whole sandwich and then after that just eat little bread. Soup is very filling too, at least for a while. I can't say I eat much soup nowadays. I had trouble eating tuna salad that soon bc it is so thick, and you already eat bread? Are you 3 weeks out or 3 months out? If 3 weeks, then that is different than my post op diet. I couldn't handle things that dense for a long time. Especially the texture of tuna or hummus and things like that. But now I can, with the bread. Check with your post op diet and see where you are supposed to be at today and stick with that plan. Otherwise you could injure your insides and believe me, you don't want to have a problem.

No, my understanding from the research I've done is no private insurance pays for VSG, or for any weight loss surgery. Sorry. My second understanding is that once you get VSG or any weight loss surgery they will not accept you anymore on private insurance plans. Of course if you are significantly overweight they won't take you anyway. Basically if they have a hint that you might spend money on medical, they do not accept you. I don't know if that changes soon with Obama, but I believe at a certain point they can't turn you away but can charge you out the wazoooo where it is simply unaffordable. Its nuts.