JustWatchMe

Yesterday I got a call from a female VP on my floor who noticed I've lost weight. (I haven't told anyone except my mom, daughters, husband and best friend about my banding.) In my own department, I work with mostly men, and they don't notice or don't care. Only one male coworker noticed I've been bringing my lunch, and I shrugged it off, saying I had to "get healthy, doctor's orders". That was enough for him. But this phone call yesterday threw me off guard. I guess I should have been prepared for her comment, but I don't see a big difference in the mirror to my own eyes yet. I do acknowledge that I'm wearing my smaller clothes again, but nothing dramatic. I saw my MIL and BIL yesterday after weeks have gone by, and neither of them noticed any difference. My WLS skeptic husband hasn't said a word about how I look. My younger daughter saw me at Easter and said she could see it in my face, and my BFF and my mom have also both been complimentary. But at work, I wasn't prepared. Forgive me for not remembering who said this recently, but I read a post on these boards about two days ago that I needed to see. The gist of it was that in the early stages of weight loss, it's a bit of a thrill to answer folks who ask how much you've lost... 20, 30,..60. But for the morbidly obese, one day that answer can become 140, 150.... and the novelty has worn off, and you can feel people doing the math in their heads. That post got to me. I deliberately didn't tell people at work and extended family about my banding because I didn't want to be watched, to be analyzed, to be quizzed, to be whispered about. But eventually the weight loss itself will trigger questions. And yesterday it did for me. The VP was nice, and asked if I've been losing weight. "Yeah, a bit. Gotta get healthy - ugh!" "What are you doing?" "Walking the treadmill every day, eating less. It's a drag sometimes, but what can you do?" "Well, good for you. You can tell." "Thanks, that's nice of you." I hung up the phone and I was literally shaking. It's started. I need to get a game plan so I'm not rattled and caught off-guard like that. There was nothing bad about it at all, but I felt watched, and now I feel like I'm being observed. My instinct was to downplay it and end the conversation. I feel good about that, but it's a matter of time before someone else mentions it I guess. Interestingly, I have no guilt about not mentioning the band, which I never intend to do, because this 52 pounds all came off before my first band fill this week. So I feel like my band has only been helping me out for the last couple of days. I do walk my treadmill faithfully and I do eat less. That wasn't what unnerved me. It's that somebody noticed my body. As an obese woman, I lived in denial for years that even though I was large, I was somehow invisible. Yet yesterday somebody reminded me that no, they can see me. And if they noticed I'm smaller, they earlier noticed I was pretty big. So my first compliment from a stranger left me a little shaken. Can anybody relate?

Hang in there. People can be such oafs. Glad your port site is better.

Thanks, everyone. We're going to Italy, but I'm more excited to reunite with my daughter who's been studying abroad since January in Madrid. I miss her so much. Two more weeks!

Today I had my first real meal after my first fill two days ago. If you had told me a year ago that I would feel "done" after eating 3oz of steak and a boiled egg, I would have laughed in your face. The dog even got the last bite of meat. He's been hanging around the kitchen when I sit down to eat lately. *hiccup* *burp* I'm so happy that my band is really in there and really doing its thing. I was hesitant about this fill before traveling in two weeks, but I think all will be well. I'm going to be very careful, not eat an hour before, an hour after, or during the 6-hour flight, but still stay hydrated. But no soda! The two days back on liquids wasn't bad. I was even grateful for it today because I had no time for lunch outside the office, so my Atkins shakes are always there for me when I need them. I was too scared to try chicken, but maybe later this week. The steak was actually leftovers from my first solids meal nearly a week ago! Even that amazes me. One 10-oz. steak gave me three meals over a week's time. Anyway, I just had to share my excitement about this wonderful little alien inside me, my little E.T. I keep humming the song, "Ooh, child, things are gonna get easier..."

That's amazing. Congratulations! Wow!

@@Nat1234, so good to see you posting! I had my first fill yesterday. 4.5ccs in my 14cc band. They tried five and it was too tight. I'm on liquids for 48 hours. No nausea, but I could definitely feel a difference over the last 24 hours. They told me the sensation should subside as the swelling goes down. A fill makes your stomach swell slightly, so until 48 hours is behind you, the true tightness of the band isn't felt. My doc does a second fill two weeks after the first, but I have to skip that one because of vacation. If you feel really sick or throw up, call the doctor. Otherwise, see how it is in a couple of days. And congrats on the weight loss!

@@lecouch, hang in there. It's easier after surgery, as everyone said. A side benefit of all of it is that you truly will appreciate the next phase more, and the weight loss now will give you a mental and physical boost after surgery. I made it through by telling myself I could do anything for a prescribed amount of time. My protocol was 5 days Clear liquids pre-op (never want to see Isopure again - LOL) and six weeks full liquids post-op. I finally got solids on Thursday last week. Woo hoo! Then got my first fill four days later and back on full liquids for 48 hours. It's a process. We've come so far -- we can do this! Yep

Sharpie, bless you for this post! I never knew a pressure cooker was that quick. I'm going to look into one. I use my crock pots from time to time, but those are slow cookers. Anything that can cook tender meat in half an hour? Sounds good to me! I could have dinner going while I'm on the treadmill!

Disappointed in yourself? Why? You're in a difficult time right now, trying to find the correct adjustment to your band. Frustrated, sure. Uncomfortable and hungry, yes. But don't be hard on yourself. Keep going for your fills and hang on. I'm not speaking from experience, because I've just received my first fill this week, but I've been told it can be several visits and adjustments to get to the greeen zone. Be kind to yourself and stay connected here. We're all in this together. Good luck.

Good to read this, since I leave for a two week vacation two weeks from now. I just started solid foods and had my first fill yesterday, so back on liquids til tomorrow evening. I've been wondering if I would make an effort to exercise while on my trip. I know there will be lots of walking in Italy. We're visiting four cities, and it's the first vacation I've ever taken with my husband where we're not renting a car. I'm thrilled. Today is the first day since March 14 that I'm not on the treadmill or my Water class. How I did it, beats me, but somehow I wrecked my knee in my sleep last night. Woke up and couldn't bear weight without pain. I've been hobbling around all day. Bizarre. Anyway, I'll have a challenge in Italy to keep my exercise going and eat sensibly for two weeks. I'm psyched and feel good about it now, especially since I'll have some restriction for the first time ever. So glad to hear your vacation was a success!

RJ, you're such an inspiration to me. One thing I was thinking yesterday is how this forum is like a sanctuary for me. Other weight loss boards can be so cruel, judgmental and harsh, and although that probably happens here sometimes too, I haven seen too much of it since I came aboard in March. It got me thinking that it's because we all started here as morbidly obese. We have been in a separate category of weight losers all our lives. As WLS requirements become more open to lower weight people, that may change. We may see more and more WLS patients with 40 or fewer pounds to lose. I don't begrudge anyone this lifesaving surgery, but I hope the attitude here never changes to one of judgment or comparison. Hope this makes sense. Anyway, RJ, you're a rockstar, and don't let anybody make you feel otherwise!

Congratulations on the promotion. I think you handled it great. Thinking on your feet!

Congratulations!

Congrats! Take care of yourself and let us know how you're doing.

Love it! I've got a ways to go before I'm anywhere near sexy. My BFF told me at our Aqua Zumba class this week that she could see I'm losing weight because I'm "jigglier than before". Huh? "You're not as solid as you were in the Water a few weeks ago." It cracked me up. Leave it to your best friend to give you the weirdest compliment. My body shape has never been an hourglass, even when I was briefly thin years ago. My mom has always been overweight, but she had a small waist and wide hips. She hated her body, and I hated mine. She always told me I had thin legs, which proportionally, I do. I wanted her shape and she wanted mine. Go figure.

Can I ask why they gave you a fill the same day you got stuck? I'm new at this, so bear with me. Isn't getting stuck a sign that you're already too tight?

I hope they figure out what happened. Good luck and keep us posted. You're not a failure! Hang in there.

@@tmposton, ask your nutritionist if you can puree soups in the blender. Your options are wide open then, as you can buy regular soups and add some exra veggies, etc., as long as you liquefy them. My full liquids stage was six weeks, and that saved me.

@prettyandbrwn, thanks for the tip. I had a Protein shake for lunch so that I wouldn't have any problems. Well, today was GREAT! I'm so excited. I got my first fill of 4.5cc in my 14cc band. She started with 5cc, but the barium swallow went down slower than she wanted, so she removed 0.5cc and retested, and then it was fine. I watched it all on fluoroscope. Pretty cool. My band is exactly where it needs to be, my port site is healing well, and the needle didn't hurt at all. I also found out that I can take the Tylenol caplets I was afraid to swallow, so that will save me the aggravation of crushing them or drinking the cherry-yucko-flavored liquid stuff I got from my pharmacist. My next visit would have been two weeks from now for another fill, but that's right before my trip to Italy, so I'll go back in a month instead. Sounds like they fill every two weeks until you get to your green zone. But the best part of today was that I got on the doctor's scale and hit the "50-pounds-gone" mark today! My surgeon stopped in to congratulate me and called me a superstar! LOL. I told him it was all willpower up until today, and he said, "Now your band is going to start helping you." I came home, walked my treadmill, had Soup for supper, and feel fine. Better than fine - GREAT!

Sharpie, you've been inspiring me since I came on here. Thanks for all your honesty and encouraging messages!

Cccv4, it's so good to read your posts. You've come a long way in a few weeks. Hang in there. We're gonna do this!

Tomorrow after work I get my first fill. I've decided I do want it now. I was told I could wait until after my May vacation, but I'm ready. I enjoyed four days of real food this week and I'll be back to liquids temporarily, I'm sure, for a few days after the fill. Hope it goes smoothly. I'll post tomorrow evening.

My pre-op was five days of clear liquids. I drank Isopure every morning and it was quite unpleasant, but I got into the mindset of "I can do anything for a short period of time." And I did. That same attitude helped me get through six weeks of post-op full liquids. If you do it without cheating, it actually gets easier as the days go by. That said, I hope I never have to do clear liquids again for a long time.

@@redlove1446 Soups: I live in the Chicago area. I went to a few local restaurants in my neighborhood, but also some fast food places. Also, a few grocery chains have some good soups too. The key at lunchtime for me was even If I ordered a soup with chunks, I didn't eat the chunks. At home I could puree anything in the blender, but on my work lunch break that wasn't an option. So I had to exercise self-control and only drink the liquid and discard the solids for fast food lunch takeout. Here were my staples for six weeks, pureeing when possible to avoid waste: Buona Beef cheddar broccoli Subway cheddar broccoli Mariano's lobster bisque (high in calories - be careful) Mariano's potato bacon Jewel (Albertson's) Culinary Circle soups Panera Bread tomato basil Local restaurant's lentil soup taken home and pureed Local Greek deli cream of chicken with lemon Potbelly tomato Progresso New England clam chowder Whole Foods tomato basil Whole Foods roasted corn poblano soup, pureed Local Chinese restaurant hot and sour soup Local restaurant's split pea My NUT said any soup pureed was allowed. Progresso had several more I like. Just experiment!

It's hard but it will be over before you know it, and things will begin to improve immediately. Even before surgery, I was sleeping better. A few weeks after surgery I was off of one of my blood pressure meds. I'm exercising daily. I couldn't walk the one and a half blocks to church four months ago without my knees and back hurting so bad I could cry. Today I walk on the treadmill every day for at least a mile, sometimes two. I'm only six weeks post-op and just started solids a few days ago. First fill is Monday. The weeks up until now helped me build discipline and good monitoring habits. I feel wonderful. Good luck and keep your eye on the goal. It's all worth it!