mmae66

I was on the boards for over a year pre-op, and inhaled all kinds of stories. I was (I believe) adequately prepared for how the VSG would be a tool, would offer a brief time (1 year) to build new skills, deal with surprising upsets about not being able to soothe myself with food. I also realized I needed to be in therapy, during my journey -- I call it my Year of Losing Weight, my Year of Maintaining my Weight, and Boring Real Life. That's my therapy commitment -- three years.
I'm old enough to know that life isn't an endless honeymoon. Boredom, habits and real life end all honeymoons. And then the marriage begins.
So I was well prepared.
I do see those who are starstruck and want to wake up 365 days later and find themselves Cinderella at the Ball being chased around the floor by The Prince. I see some who are, frankly, not smart enough to appreciate what they're doing to themselves and what it will mean. I seem some who thought they were ready, but find it so much harder to adapt than they'd dreamed. Some of those adapt. Some of them don't. I see some who can't be compliant because they're too food-addicted or simply unable to follow directions or those who can't let anyone be the boss of them or those who think they're too special to do it the boring way everyone else does.
I see the perfection puppies, the alcoholics, the ones whose lives are a train wreck with no space in it for self-protection, the wounded adult children, the smart ones who can fix everything but their weight. I see those with bad surgeons and inattentive care. I see those with no support at home or outright antagonism and hate disguised as nagging. People who are desperate enough to have weight loss surgery are not all in mental spaces or physical spaces that are safe enough for them to undergo WLS and its aftermath.
Of course, I see people who do well. A lot of them are older. They know it won't be perfect, but they're patient. They have seen tough times, and they aren't shocked by some tough things about WLS. They're a bit long-suffering and don't bitch about every new food that doesn't thrill their palate. They can tolerate temporary discomfort to get to the easier times two months out. In a word, they're just compliant -- or as compliant as they can be. They don't beat themselves up when they're not perfect and they are resilient enough to get back on the path without being a drama llama about it.
They don't start threads with titles like: "Oy vey ist mir!" or "Will I ever be happy again?" or "Please tell me this won't last forever." They already know they'll be happy again, that this won't last forever, and that ein bischen vey doesn't require a clickbait thread title.