sophiepants

Ladies I'm so sorry to hear about your brothers and sisters!! I too hand out hugs!! I'm not sure I fully understand the passing of a sibling I'm not sure I would be sane if I lost my sister! She is 16 months older than I. She is also a 14 year Marine Corp Vet who did 5 tours to Iraq and Afgan. There was more scares there than I want to remember. Two that gave me nightmares for years! At ages 2 and 4 my sister father and I lost our mother. To a senseless brutal murder. I do not have any memory of my mother. My sister started to have her memories fade as time passed. I have pain in my heart and actions that make up my life. It had a huge impact on my as a whole. I can talk about it openly but deep down I point blank wish I had had a mother growing up. Our dad never remarried. He didn't want to bring women in and out of our lives to confuse us. That and I'm sure our mother was the only one for him. That worked out well for me. I am a one man kinda gal. My sister has found that she has a commitment fobia cant seem to settle down and will run. Umm not sure why I vomited that on you all. Anywho ((HUGS)) to all

RJ you are an amazing woman, mother, wife and grandmother. I understand the presser is weighing but you don't have to let it weigh you down. You already are WORKING your newest journey to it's fullest!!! You are a success in my eyes! Woman you rock!!!

35...happy to report that my sickly monkey was down on the floor with me tryn again tonight. He got 2 1/2.....lmao

30 in the bag...

Perfect plan! I'm going to start with # 4 Wasting energy. I'm so a prime example of this. Things beyond my control really P**** me off. I need to let it go I cant do anything about most of it....mmmm this is probably not the best time of year to try as there are so many Fing people doing dumb things out there right now....or maybe it is the best time ever! I shall find out

We have these days! Don't let it get you down this is our journey. I had to fess up last week with a no loss for the week before. Oh and my TOM "that sneaky fucked" caught me 4 days ago and I ate outta my plan for a day or 2. seen the scale go up 2 pounds for the first time and about puked on myself. GRRRHHH but no reason to dwell on the slip just time to move on and keep striving for better next time! Will look forward to hearing your success next week

I have a lot of these issues! I guess I never looked at it this way. I want to be mentally strong damn it!

SW 190 CW 188 down 2 pounds. Looks like my stall broke! Lordy that was a bitched!!

I'm still struggling with this. I have a few time in these short 3 months kept eating my small plate just because unknowingly tryd to finish my plate. That is going to take some time to get used to.

I went into this "holiday season" with "I want more that just to get by" or "maintain" lol!!! I'll be lucky to hold on for dear life and make it out the other end with only minor scrapes and bruises I wish also!!!

And on days like today I would love it even more! Demons are a bitched!! I have found this time of year "which I love" Is the hardest part of this journey so far. I know I'm new but the comfort food this time of year is the devil. I just want to hide in the closet and eat sweets. But then my almost 3 year old would find me and I would feel like POS!!!

Sick boys are so sad!! He's been laying on me all day

I think this is the hard part about me losing the weight.. Part of me likes being invisible. I don't like entering the potentially attractive world. Last time I lost weight I was picked up on! I was giddy happy I couldn't believe it!! (Oh I'm married so it doesn't matter) He was so handsome! I went home and binged? I hate my fat self but I'm scared of my small self. Is that why I've always regained? This is me!!! Laura I have told you before how much I like you and can identify with your personally. (I don't show it here online much) back to being invisible even on here. I'm a binge eater a sneak eater and am ashamed! Over the holiday I struggled more than I want to admit! The site is a life line in away. I read and post some but still hide. I read and it helps me learn how to deal with my addiction... Here's me..... My sister and I were raised by our Dad. He was a wonderful dad! Never remarried only had a handful of girlfriends in the last 30 years since our mother was murdered back in 83'. Our dad was a great provider for us. He was a hard worker and came to all our sports games. I was never a skinny kid like my sister but I was never fat also. I was a solid kid I played sports I was active. I ate like a pig. In the summers we would go to Nebraska and spend the summers with our mothers side of the family. They spoiled up with treats. I ate like a piggy but my sister not so much. My grandmother cooked A LOT she always made us finish our food. Heaps of bacon eggs waffles with lots of syrup "My fav!!" candy cookies cakes homemade treats ect. I was always the first done and the only going back for more. I remember one summer at our aunts I ate 2 boxes of lucky charms for breakfast with almost a whole gallon of milk. I was cut off then in the mornings at two bowls of cereal. As I grew up I learned to cook for my sister dad and I. I was in control of my/our food habits. I like sweet foods and processed foods so that's what we ate mostly. I baked cakes, cookies, brownies, sticky buns ect.. (as I write this it's raising my demons)!! We ate whatever we wanted. I loved it then. Our dad did cook for us also good meals but he was also working like a dog trying to raise two teenage girls. Anyway.... I gain weight to hide myself. I was always a "thick" athletic girl. Always the bigger girl. I never had or wanted a boyfriend until a few weeks before I graduated high school I never wanted to be noticed. I met my husband when I was 19 and I had lost 40 pounds after high school. I teased him about tricking him with being skinny and then being fat. He has never cared either way after 13 years together 12 married he still rubs my big body with the love reflected in them. I really started to gain just about a year after we married. He was military and we always had party's and hosted huge dinners for the soldiers who stayed for the holidays. The unwanted attention started. I was appalled that "I was getting hit on in my own home" they said it was my fault. My husband never believed it. But in order to "protect" myself I gained. I would wake up 2 or 3 times in the middle of the night and eat cereal huge bowls then pass out only to wake up again and crave more. I always hid it from my husband I was ashamed. I would buy cakes form the store and eat it in my car right after I ate fast food. It got to a point where when asked to get me a piece cake I got a whole cake. He didn't want to piss me off! After gaining a huge amount I lost and gained for years and years after all that been a struggle ever since. I quit caring what I looked like or how I felt. After hitting my all time HW at 278 while pregnant I was ok with it. Weird I know. I lost it and gained again a few times in the 2 years after our son was born via IVF. (that's a whole different thread for me) It also contributed to my weight gain in 2010, the meds messed me up. I hit my HW again this January and realized I wasn't able to PLAY with my son. I couldn't keep up. I couldn't run and chase him daddy had to. I was miserable and I hated myself and resented my husband for being able to move the way he did. I took charge again, I still have good days and bad like I always have. I still want to binge I almost stopped while writing this to look for sweets. Anyway I just went on and on and probably missed the point of the thread but I wanted to get it out. Sorry

As hard as it may be pound the water!!! This too shall pass.

And how many did the little man get in today? None.... today I got watched from the couch with huge blue eyes that blinked slow!! He's feeling sickly today

30 Seconds done!! Yip

30 Down!!

My software is saying 29.7, so it's pretty carb heavy. You can shave off 10 by omitting the PB2 and ground flax though. I'm guessing most of that flax carb is fiber though right? It's the banana that's killing it, but without the banana, no one would want to drink it! Oh these dilemmas I wanna try it but I'll have to play with my day and see what I can do:)

I did! However I was more excited than emotional.....at first. I went through a scared period where I was afraid for my husband and son to be alone with out me. But its all normal I found out. Just before surgery I was just excited focused and a rock." I was gonna do this shitted"!! I was going in with my head in the game and so will you! Good luck your life is about to change for the better!

You are an inspiration! Great job!!

I'm sorry! I know it's tough to push those fluids. I use crystal light I cant drink plain water much. I have heard G2 is a great thing to drink too, cut it half and half with water. Hope it gets better soon

I'm a little higher carb than GG but it's working for me so far. I'm increasing my cals so I'm sitting at... 900 Calories 50 Carbs I try to keep under the carbs but meh some times it creeps over

It's why we're doing it. I have a feeling I will be too!! You my dear are not alone

Just noticed you Staffers!! WTG helping out here!!

Did my 25 sit up's with the help of the boy! He was breathing like me with his hands behind his head. Such a helper