First and foremost congrats on losing 50lbs and getting off your meds! i'm sure you're elated at such a great and personal accomplishment. My surgery is the day after yours and i've got to tell you, every second thought you had came to my mind along with thoughts like " am i going to die", "i've bee so lazy about losing weight that i've resorted to WLS" and the big one " what if i fail at this like i had for everything else weight loss related". Let me tell you after praying about it and seeing that more good than bad can come from this i started to release some of those thoughts from my brain and i feel 100% better about what i'm doing. When i think about how i want to be able to go to the beach and be comfortable in a bathing suit, or, being able to fit into cute non-plus size clothing and many many more things, i KNOW that this is worth it and it will be great.
I cant control your thoughts but know that you aren't alone and me as well as most people on here have felt the very same way. Stay positive! i'll be keeping you in my thoughts as we embark on this journey.