vinesqueen

... cortisol is the determining factor and that cortisol ( a potent steroid)can destroy or affect every organ in your body: skin, hair, heart, muscles, etc etc etc, diabetes, etc. ....and that you want to make sure this steroid does not destroy you ... (Judy from Phg http://cushings.invisionzone.com/index.php?showtopic=15360&hl=) I'm just so out of sorts, out of time, out of place right now. I'm leaving school for now anyway. I just cannot handle school, being away from my family, and my health right now all at once. Perhaps it will be different by the fall, perhaps it will not. I just don't know. And the not knowing is what is so hard on me right now. --sometimes I know that I am the very definition of patience, and other times I know that I'm the most impatient person on the face of the planet. The waiting for results right now is so very hard. I had my first round of tests 11 days ago, the DHEA, LH FSH and serum total testosterone. On the 11th I did the 24 hr urine free cortisol test, the famous pee-ina-jug test. Part of me thinks that I should be happy that the restults are taking so long, because it means that there isn't a problem with them, that they are all normal. But the defeatist in me says that the results were way out of normal, and they don't believe the results. I've been feeling like I have early onset of alzheimers, even though it doesn't run in my family. It is so hard to find the words sometimes. I notice it most when I'm talking, the words elude me, or are just flat out wrong. Sponker told me that he thinks I've always been a little scatter brained, which is probably true, but he said he has noticed that it is getting worse. We were trying to find cheap gas (as opposed to saving the money driving and just going to a near place, but that's what he wanted to do... ) and he kept pointing out to me that my words were wrong. We were driving past Park Place ltd, that car place with the exotic cars, when I pointed out the orange car. But the problem it wasn't orange, it was yellow. I sure feel like a hypocondriac sometimes. I know I've been one in the past, but usually it comes on after I've had something that they missed. I know I panic after something goes terribly wrong, and I worry about every little symptom. I know that many people with cushings are accused of making it up. Mike is worried that I'm going to end up making myself sick if Im not sick now. "the mind body connection." but I don't think he gets it. Someone had posted a very interesting thread on the Cushing's board about whether PCOS was a red herring, very interesting, and it's gotten me thinking about it.

... cortisol is the determining factor and that cortisol ( a potent steroid)can destroy or affect every organ in your body: skin, hair, heart, muscles, etc etc etc, diabetes, etc. ....and that you want to make sure this steroid does not destroy you ... (Judy from Phg http://cushings.invisionzone.com/index.php?showtopic=15360&hl=) I'm just so out of sorts, out of time, out of place right now. I'm leaving school for now anyway. I just cannot handle school, being away from my family, and my health right now all at once. Perhaps it will be different by the fall, perhaps it will not. I just don't know. And the not knowing is what is so hard on me right now. --sometimes I know that I am the very definition of patience, and other times I know that I'm the most impatient person on the face of the planet. The waiting for results right now is so very hard. I had my first round of tests 11 days ago, the DHEA, LH FSH and serum total testosterone. On the 11th I did the 24 hr urine free cortisol test, the famous pee-ina-jug test. Part of me thinks that I should be happy that the restults are taking so long, because it means that there isn't a problem with them, that they are all normal. But the defeatist in me says that the results were way out of normal, and they don't believe the results. I've been feeling like I have early onset of alzheimers, even though it doesn't run in my family. It is so hard to find the words sometimes. I notice it most when I'm talking, the words elude me, or are just flat out wrong. Sponker told me that he thinks I've always been a little scatter brained, which is probably true, but he said he has noticed that it is getting worse. We were trying to find cheap gas (as opposed to saving the money driving and just going to a near place, but that's what he wanted to do... ) and he kept pointing out to me that my words were wrong. We were driving past Park Place ltd, that car place with the exotic cars, when I pointed out the orange car. But the problem it wasn't orange, it was yellow. I sure feel like a hypocondriac sometimes. I know I've been one in the past, but usually it comes on after I've had something that they missed. I know I panic after something goes terribly wrong, and I worry about every little symptom. I know that many people with cushings are accused of making it up. Mike is worried that I'm going to end up making myself sick if Im not sick now. "the mind body connection." but I don't think he gets it. Someone had posted a very interesting thread on the Cushing's board about whether PCOS was a red herring, very interesting, and it's gotten me thinking about it.

Hi Kt, welcome to LBT. Thanks for the smile. I'm not in denial, not by a long stretch. And neither are my Turtle Tribe. But that equation does not work for us. I have been diagnosed with Cushing's, and I suspect some of our other Turtles have it as well. Some of us might end up with a diagnosis of metabolic syndrom, other's find untreated PCOS is having an effect on their weight loss journey. I was on 700 calories and less for a month while I was too tight. That month I lost 1.5 pounds, even working out as I was. When I finally was able to get to my clinic to get an unfil I gained 10 pounds in one week at 1000 - 1200 calories a day. Being physically active, I gained 10 pounds at that caloric intake. It doesn't make sense, not unless you have researched Cushings. And then that is quite a common story.

I'm so very sorry to hear about your sick little baby. I'm so sorry.

I'm in the process of dismantiling my life in Idaho. *heavy sigh* I still don't have any test resutls back from a week and a half ago. I don't know when I'll get the results. I was told by the nurse to not call and ask for the results. They will be mailed out when they are mailed out. I spent an hour crying tonight in frustration. I'm not here very much right now. I'll be doing a bit of lurking, but I just don't have anything encouraging to say. I feel angry, and petty and pissed off in general. I'm not dealing well with the rabbits or the winded wabbits either. Not well at all. I just feel like I can't be supportive of anyone here right now, so I'm just going to concentrate on packing up my apartment right now.

uhm, woot? :eek: great work Kathy!

Yup, 35 pounds in 15 months is definatly a Turtle

Please be sure to check the slow losers thread on the support forum. Please do a search for Turtle titles for more support. Unfortunately, for some of us, the 3500 calories in/out equation doesn't work for some of us. It doesn't make any sense on any level, but it is our reality. It is my reality.

Hi Magic, my seat belt doesn't come near my port since it's up high under my right ribs. It might be an issue for folks with a sternum placement (mid chest) though...

Ok, I spent a month at 700 calories and less and lost 1.5 pounds total. Please please please find another surgeon! Being too tight like this is not healthy nor is it helpful. For him to insist that you stay too tight is nothing short of curel and inhumane! I don't know if any of our UK bandsters can help you, but you need help fast. This isn't fair for him to do to you, and you desperately need an unfil. I think some bandsters want to be too tight, but you obviously do not, and I think you need to demand an unfill. Make a deal with him and tell him for every day that he can stay at that amount of food, so will you. Fair's fair. I am so very sorry you are being treated so poorly! You have my deepest sympathy!

I tired weight loss hypnosis. I had even less success with that than I have withthe band. Or Atkins. or the grapefruit diet. Or the cabage soup diet, or any of a number of failed things.

Okay, I'm not sure if I should get another fill or not. I'm at 1.5 in a 4cc band. I have some good restriction, but lately I notice, espeically being home this week, that I'm able and wanting to eat more than I was a few weeks ago. I don't have any illusions that a fill will help me lose weight, I'm mostly okay with it. Well, that's a lie, but we will go with it anyway. Should I get a fill for the psychological need or should I just not bother, since it won't affect my weight one way or the other.

Wow, I'm going to guess your mom isn't a wolf. Congrats on that. I wouldn't try to decieve her into beliving that you'd "won" a surgery, who would belive that any way? (wait, i just got finished reading "the things we've believed thread...) I like the idea of giving her a journal or letter, telling her exactly how you feel and what you want to do about it.

But that's just it Donna, not everyone has done the soul searching they need to prior to being banded. Some folks are just not ready for this step, not really. And some folks have unrealistic expectations about the band. Some think that they will never be able to eat again, other people expect to lose an unrealistic amount of weight in an unrealistic amount of time. Some folks expect too lose like a by pass patient and while some people do in fact lose that way, most people lose 1-2 pounds a week, not faster.

it can take a bit of finess to find the right fill spot, but I know you are not going to like hearing this. You NEED AN UNFILL. as much as .1 ccs can make a big difference, and you might find that a small unfill is what you need. And NO you are not supposed to be "tight as a drum." As Jessie likes to say, the band is NOT surgically induced bulimia! Please have your fat free body mass measured. It might help you with your journey.

I'm late to the thread as well. I'm so sorry Kelly! being dehydrated is no fun , and it sounds like the last little while has just been plain sucky. ((((((hugs))))

Congrats on your first 4 months, here's hoping your next 4 go as well!

absolutely Bermy, absolutely! I lost 25 pounds once, and I was completely unprepaired for the response from men. I was in a large program, with group counceling and the whole nine yards, but never once did they mention anything about being mentally prepaired for the weight loss, and more importantly, the reaction we would get from others. And if we've used our weight as a shield and armor against the world, it can be increadibly difficult dealing with the world once we are naked.

Oh dear, waiting is so hard. One of the most important lessons my mother ever taught me was don't wait on your weight. She spent all my life waiting to lose weight, waiting on one thing so she could do other things in her life. I saw how miserable she was, waiting for something that would never happen. She's been MO my entire life, and has really let that stop her from doing so many fun and interesting things. I'll do X when I lose Y pounds. But she never really lost those Y pounds, be they 10 or 100 pounds. Sure she'd been on a diet of one sort or another but diets don't work. When I was 18 I determined that my weight was never ever going to stop me from doing anything I wanted. It wasnt until I was at my highest weight when I physcially couldn't do the things I wanted, like amusement park rides. Saftey first! A few weeks after I was banded I was taking horseback riding lessons. The only hard part was cleaning their feet because the incisions were still fresh and picking up their feet to pick them was difficult, but do-able. As big as I am, I belly dance in public. Yup, I'm a professional belly dancer. All 235 pounds of sexy me. Please don't wait do life your life! Do not let your weight hold you prisoner!

You aren't kidding P'nut! My first spring everyone kept commenting on how beautiful the green hills were.. and I kept looking at the hills wondering what they were talking about... but I've learned to appreicat that shade of green that is mostly brown. When I came home for my first summer after being in Pokey, I was shocked at all the green driving into my neighborhood, I felt like it was almost austentatous, like the Good Mother was flaunting how green it is here. ...

I'm usually in Pocatello, but I'm taking a medical leave from ISU in a week, so I'll be returning to the Seattle area.

I think it is a very good idea to have a psych eval before you have WLS. I don't think the analogy for WLS is similar to a nicotein patch. The patch isn't surgical intervention, if you don't like it, you take it off. You can't take off your WLS in any easy way. The thing is that we need to understand that this is a life changing, life altering path we are taking. Not everyone is ready for that sort of alteration in their lifestyle. And a lifestyle change is what we are in for, whether we are ready for it or not. I really think for this to be success for in the long term that we have to change our heads as much as we change the way we do things. For some of us this is easier than others. Sure, we are committed to losing weight, we are letting someone cut our bellies open for crying out loud. But sometimes our head or our heart isn't ready to make that same commitment. That 4 year old child that lives in us doesn't want to give up Cookies or ice cream or doesn't wanna do anything that we need to to be successful. Our 4 year old self just wants to watch cartoons and eat candy. Does not want to go to the gym, does not want to count calories. I think it's weird that they did the eval over the phone. That would sort of like be doing one over e-mail.

yay! But i guess this means I have to change. I'm currently dressed in a cream sweater, with red jamma bottoms with pink velvet ribons on. not a hint of green on me. But on the plus note, it's spring time in Seattle, and I'm sitting in my kitchen looking out at my backyard, and maveling at all the different shades of green--from pale green mosses on the trees and in my lawn, a green that is almost yellow to darkest green that is almost balck in the distant ceder and fir trees. I don't want to go back to Pocatello tomorrow.

Any word from the clinic Kim?

Great job Joe! Keep up the good work.