vinesqueen

GeezerSue pissy???? No, it couldn't possibly be true (you KNOW I love ya' Sue! he he) And then there is me. The band won't help me lose weight, and I'm sure that a bypass/malapsorption type of procedure would not help either.

oh Lisa, honey, I wish you were having an easier time. I really, really wish that. It is so hard when we are raised by insane parents. The damage it does lasts forever. It is flat out amazing that we are as functional as we are. I'm astounded that my son is not damaged beyond repair, he's got his own issues, but he is not damaged. And that is my miricle I suppose. He is kind and strong and wise beyond his years. I look at him and know that I'm not as damaged as I could have been. I have seen you with your animals Lisa. I have seen the love and devotion you have for those in your life. I know that you love deeply and passionately. I know your love for your daughter, even as she is in the EU with her father and other family. I know that while you didn't give birth to her, she is as much your daughter as your own flesh and heart. Because she does have your heart. Lisa, my dear, I wish you could love yourself just half of what you love others. Because you must love yourself to survive and heal your physical damage. And you must because there are so many lives, people and animal, who need your love and energy. But you must heal more than your physical, you must heal your psyche, wounded as it was by the insane wolves we were forced to live with as children. I know that I protected myself by building armored shields around my core, I wouldn't make a noise while my mother would beat me, even though I knew it would anger her. But at those moments, I had power, she couldn't make me cry no matter how hard she hit me, no matter how much she made me bleed, she could force no sound from me. Lisa, you had the same power. You still do, you know. You were able to not only survive your childhood, but you thrived. How do I know this? I've met you, I've felt your energy. You did not let her destroy her then, you must not let her destroy you now. I was going to send this as PM, but I decided it would give your more strength, the more people who read your thread adding their positive thoughts and energy, helping to heal your heart

I wanted to be an astronaut, but they made fun of me because girls couldn't be an astronaut. So then I said I wanted to be a doctor like my Aunt, but they said that girls could only be nurses, that there was no such thing as a lady doctor. I think that was the closest I ever came to wanting to hit anyone as a child. In school (fourth grade I believe) we had to draw a picture of what we wanted to be as an adult, and since they wouldn't let me draw a woman astronaut, or a woman doctor, I drew a picture of a beautiful woman who's job hadn't been invented yet. A job that was nothing like a nurse, or a teacher or a secretary, the only jobs they said a woman could be. I am a security consultant. A job that didn't exsist when I was a child. And I'm beautiful. So there!

I know we've had this conversation several times. Some people have who were not hungry in the mornings, too tight, etc., yet wide open at night tried an experenment where they made sure they were eating breakfast, lunch and afternoon snack reported that they were less hungry and less "wide open" at night than they were if they basically only ate dinner. Several bandsters took experimented with that and discovered that they had more evenly restricted throughout the day. And I have no doubt that blood sugar levels have something to do with this as well

Okay, I just got a phone call from OHSU, and they've moved my appointment up to 4/24! Woot! I also was thinking about how much I hate to wait for my life, so today I decided that I wasn't going to wait. I just sent an IM to one of my old bosses and basically told him to schedule a job interview for me. I'll see him next week.

Well, we have one at the Bandster bash in Vegas, but other people just post what they have available. Some folks have suggested setting up a freecycle sort of forum, which would be pretty cool. :scared:

:scared: May the cities in your wake burn like candles on your cake!

I'm so sorry. I know the real heart break of losing a cherrished pet. He was about the same age as my dear Raskle, a grey tabby I had while I was preggers with my Spudboy. I still miss that great big pussy cat. You are in my thoughts.

I don't know if there is an answer to your question. Everyone loses at different rates. You might end up a rabbit and lose more than 100 pounds your first year out. You might be a normie, losing 50-70 pounds a month, still amazing. You might be a Turtle, and not lose 40 pounds. There just is no way to predict what you will lose.

I'm one who sees the bandsters around her apperently melting away. Many of the folks that were banded at the same time I was have lost in the range of 70 pounds, and yes, from my view point, that sure appear easy, especially when I've been walking the walk, talking the talk, and yet since last April I've lost 15 pounds. Sure seems like its easy to me. For others anyway. But I do not think there is any harm in viewing this as "the easy way" because I don't see any virture in suffering. Magazines and tv shows are constantly touting "so and so lost 8 million pounds without surgery!" like that is better than folks who've chosen WLS, like they are more worthy of losing weight, like WLS is cheating. If you are faced with that question, smile your sweetest smile and say "at least it is a way out."

Way to go Sheryl! Welcome back! and congrats on only gaining 55 pounds. I know it does seem a lot, but when you put it into context with what you would have gained without the band, I think it does call out a lot

Oh Butch, I feel like I watch part of your journey watching my DH's. You two started out with very similar weights, very big guys you. I know how frustrating and hard life has been for my husband, being too big for life it seems. I think you had every right to have your money refunded, since they were not able to provide the service you contracted. It sounds like it could have been handled a little more sensitively, but we go with what works for us. Or seems to anyway. It sucks that you have been dealing with inexperineced people who cannot seem to do a fill right. I had experences with an intervential radiologist who let out more fill than he put in, all while leaving a bloody mess of my tummy. I'm so very fortunate to have amazingly experinced fill people at NWWLS. They don't need fluro and they are ultra-professional. But they are here in the Seattle area, so of no use for you. So, you can work with the unskilled fill people, and hopefully increase their skill level, (which is a sucky option), you can try to appologise but it's never fun eating crow. Or you can schedule fills in NY, which is a big hastle. You might call the NY office, and see if they can refer you to someone local. I know that band surgeons are starting to provide referals for other surgeons, on a recipical basis, are finally understandingt hat people live mobile lives.

I don't care what my BMI says, it is a scale and so it lies too. I could be 190 and wear a size a 12 and I would sink like a rock in a pond. Not fat, but solid.

you would EXPLODE!!!!! Leaving the mess of exploded bandster all over the walls and celings... I don't think anything would happen, but I love the pop rocks! I haven't had them in forever....

skin tabs are these little nubs of extra skin that grow, they can be any size from small like the end of a ball point pen to the size of a pencil erraser. As far as I know, they usually grow round the neck and shoulders, but they can grow anywhere. Some people just get a couple, and they will get irritated and have to be removed. If you are a he-man like my dad, you will take a pair of nail clippers and cut them off, or you can have them removed by a doc. It also depends on how many of them you have.

True love, how do you know? I've been thinking about this since you posted, thinking and meditating on it. I think all love it true, but that there were many different types of love. The love I hold for my son is different that the love I hold for my Husband, which is different from my family and friends and co-workers. All are true love, but not all are romantic love. I know you are speaking of questioning romantic love, so I will try to focus on that. I think that for each person, it really is different. I thought I had true love with my ex-husband, it hit me like a bolt of lightning hard, fast, and total. But that wasn't love, it was lust more than anything else. Not good for long term relationship, but fun when it was good. I think Alex said it very nicely, that is is more like a searies of flash bulbs going off, instead of a one giant brilliant flash. When my husband describes his experiences, he knew he was in love with me when every single song he heard for weeks were love songs, he just couldn't get away from love songs! but he says he knew it was true love when he discovered that I had better and more camping equipment than he did. I personally fought falling in love with my DH. I didn't want to fall in love with this great big fat man. I couldn't see myself living for the rest of my life with a big fat man. With skin tabs. I'm shallow, what can I say. Mike was my boss, and there was no way I was ever going to let him know how I really felt about him. Our product shipped, and we moved to different teams. I had the option to go to his new team, but I decided for a varity of reasons that a different team would be the best thing for me, and ulitimately, us. We started dating shortly after movingto different teams, and he knew within a month that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. And the rest, as they say, is history. but that brings us back to the question, how do you know? I know that it is all the small pieces, all the small flash-bulbs, and the little kindnesses. I've been looking for someone like my Mike for all my life. I believe that I've been looking for Mike specificially all my life. I would be frustrated when men I was dating, was was married to, would not behaive the way I wanted, would not or could not give me thing immatierial things that I needed and wanted. My exhusband told me he loved me, but his actions spoke otherwise. He was controlling and abusive, jealous and distrustful, mean and petty. He words did not match his actions. And of course, as a child of abuse, this disconnection between words and deeds was familier and what I was used to. After all, my parents would tell me that they loved me even as they were beating me hard enough to make me bleed. That isn't love, or if it is, it is sick and twisted, the poisoned apple of abusive relationships. I have spent the better part of the last 3 years living in exhile in SE ID where I was attending University. I was there alone, my husband and son stayed here in the Seattle area, while I went off on my little adventure. My relationship with my husband and son, while physically distant, was never emotionally distant. And I think that is a key, to never being emotionally distant. When we argue, we never ever fight dirty. When something is bothering me, I wait until we are both in a good place to discuss it. I always start by telling him that something is bothering me, I never accuse, I try to never blind side. Landscape take a lot of work to keep it beautiful. You could move into a house that has perfectly manicured lawns, that has beautiful anual beds, and perenials that are perfect for the effect you are looking for. But if you do not take care of that landscape, then it will stop being beautiful. It will become overgrown, flowerbeds die and whither, weeds and pests will flourish. Kellie, you said that he completes you. I think that is one indication of true love. My sweet, you have just gone through a major metamorphsis. You are now a butterfly where you were a cute fuzzy catapiller once before. You now have irridencent wings and the desire to test those beauties on the winds of change. It is only natural that your man, who's been your steadfast and sturdy branch for all this time, is in a panic. He is afraid that you will fly away, never to return to his embrace. He is worried that some fancy flower will capture your interest, and you will never return to your home in his tree. I would strongly recommend some premarital counceling. Of course, I always recommend it, even when people don't have issues. You have suddenly and dramatically changed, not just from the plastic surgery, but I really thing that banding does a number on our heads, forcing us to look at issues and deal with them in different ways than we used to. Many of us used to use food as a coping mechanism in ways we can no longer use. I think the whole process just changes us. Please make sure you spend extra time holding his hand, letting him know that while you are different, you are the same. That paradox must be addressed.

Okay, don't do it again. That simple. I'm so sorry you had such a PB

I'd like to be a 14, but would be amazing in a size 12. I started 24, (should have been 26 in some sizes) and am now 20/22

Ok, yesterday I had my Wednesday bellydance class, and it was my second night/class with this new group. The intermediate class is also the solo class, and the instructor asked me if I was ready to solo. Well, I'm game for just about anything and told the instructor to pick out a slow veil piece for me. My NSV is that I went in cold to the class, not expecting to do a solo, and blew the class away. One of the drummers asked me after class if I understood the effect my dance had and whether I'd meant it to be that way, and the instructor laughed and said, "of course she did, she's a dancer!"

Last night was my Wednesday night bellydancing class. It was my second class with this group, and the intermediate class is also the solo class. So I thought I'd be doing a solo next week, but as it turns out, we didn't have a soloist this week, and the instructor wanted to know if I was ready to go. So, I haven't got anything prepaired, all my music is still packed up, and well, I told her to pick a slow veil piece. So there I am, in front of every one and the new music starts, music that I've never heard before, and I dance. It was such a beautiful piece, so sensual and flowing. When the instructor announced that I'd be the soloist that night, I was greeted with some curiosity, because here I am, my second night, being the featured performer. I started with my back to the audience and started with beautiful arms and the slowly unwound myself from the veil. It was a 5 minute solo, and I rocked their worlds. At the end of the dance, the soloist sits in front of the troupe, and they critique the dance and dancer. Last week, there were two soloists, and this week just me. The combined critique time from lastweek took about as long as my single critique. I knocked their socks off! One woman asked how long I'd been dancing, and I said, 'I've been taking lessons off and on since I was 18, and now I'm old." At which point they all started laughing. After the class one of the drummers made a point of telling me how much he liked my dance, and wanted to know if I understood the effect it had, if I had done it on purpose. The instructor laughed, and said "of course she did, she's an experienced dancer!" It was such a great night last night. Just great. I still feel rather unsure in the regular class, but that comes with being new to the group. Every group does things differently, and I just have to get used to the way the group does things. I sure need work on my zill work!:faint: The instructor really wants me to dance at the hafla next week. Its an "alternative hafla" where it was described as a any music, any costume with a bellydance flair dancing style. It doesn't have to be strictly bellydancing, and I think it will be a while lot of fun. I'm thinking one of the pieces from Southern Culture, new bra, gold belt and jeans. I think that would be a whole lot of fun! I think a shimmy/fast piece would be nock-out! Espeically since I am a fat gurl. :kiss2:

Last night was my Wednesday night bellydancing class. It was my second class with this group, and the intermediate class is also the solo class. So I thought I'd be doing a solo next week, but as it turns out, we didn't have a soloist this week, and the instructor wanted to know if I was ready to go. :girl_hug: So, I haven't got anything prepaired, all my music is still packed up, and well, I told her to pick a slow veil piece. So there I am, in front of every one and the new music starts, music that I've never heard before, and I dance. It was such a beautiful piece, so sensual and flowing. When the instructor announced that I'd be the soloist that night, I was greeted with some curiosity, because here I am, my second night, being the featured performer. I started with my back to the audience and started with beautiful arms and the slowly unwound myself from the veil. It was a 5 minute solo, and I rocked their worlds. At the end of the dance, the soloist sits in front of the troupe, and they critique the dance and dancer. Last week, there were two soloists, and this week just me. The combined critique time from lastweek took about as long as my single critique. I knocked their socks off! One woman asked how long I'd been dancing, and I said, 'I've been taking lessons off and on since I was 18, and now I'm old." At which point they all started laughing. After the class one of the drummers made a point of telling me how much he liked my dance, and wanted to know if I understood the effect it had, if I had done it on purpose. The instructor laughed, and said "of course she did, she's an experienced dancer!" It was such a great night last night. Just great. I still feel rather unsure in the regular class, but that comes with being new to the group. Every group does things differently, and I just have to get used to the way the group does things. I sure need work on my zill work!:faint: The instructor really wants me to dance at the hafla next week. Its an "alternative hafla" where it was described as a any music, any costume with a bellydance flair dancing style. It doesn't have to be strictly bellydancing, and I think it will be a while lot of fun. I'm thinking one of the pieces from Southern Culture, new bra, gold belt and jeans. I think that would be a whole lot of fun! I think a shimmy/fast piece would be nock-out! Espeically since I am a fat gurl. :kiss2:

Most of the Turtle tribe are missing as well. Candysmooches, live2canoe, and the most of the rest, are gone too. It is just too hard to be a turtle.

WHAT??????? "fat people don't know how to control their food well enough to try to relearn how to eat. " WHAT????????? Did you hit him? I'm so sorry you've been so sick. I don't think your band is making you sick, I think you are probably depleted, and need to take a break and build up your reservers. You didn't say how many calories you are getting in a day, but it should be more. You are not getting enough calories in to fight off the bugs. And don't listen to his diet advice. He's a surgeon not a nutritionist, obviously. You need fresh veggies and wholesome ingreedients, someting you won't find at McDondalds. A sandwich for lunch isn't a bad idea, if you can handle the bread. Some bandsters can, most cannot.

I have my confirmed appointment to spend a week near Portland, at the OHSU. I'll be there for a week mid-May. They will be doing everything from taking an MRI to a CT to test after test after test to determine the best treatment course for me. So I feel like I'm closer to an answer, yet I'm still in limbo. I feel like I can't move forward, like I'm stuck. I hate waiting for things. I hate waiting for my life. I watched my mother wait for something else to happen, waited for someone else to take action before she felt like she could get one with her life. When I was 18 I decided that I was never going to wait to live my life, but now I feel I have no choice but to wait. I cannot register for classes, I cannot look for a job. I must sit at home waiting for others. I never made a good stay at home mother. My steroid level feels really high, I have been picking fights with my son. I NEVER do this, and yet here I am doing it. I don't know how many of you hve bever been on steroids, but the way I'm feeling is after several days at a high dose, and there is no hope for me to get off them, since it is my body producing the steroids, not a pill from the pharmacy. But the thing that is keeping me going right now is that i have a doctor who really understands, who really believes what's going on with me is real. I think i need a prescription for valium until I can be seen in May. Yikes!

You only gained 7 pounds over winter? Wow! that's terrific! Think back before banding and how much weight you would have gained to give it some perspecitive.... And Gratz on getting back up and moving.