Norma

I showered the day after surgery and every day since. Hop to it! Can't swim or immerse in a tub till the incisions close due to infection risk but showering has been allowed since day one.

JudyJudyJudy, I had three overhanging stomach areas when I started. I am sure that I will have some excess skin and have started a plastic surgery fund to tackle that in a couple of years. However, so far my skin is not getting loose. I had a triple chin that is almost gone and people are telling me that I have lost years in my appearance. I am quite amazed at how easy this has been so far. I have not even been able to exercise like I want to as my knee is so sore from being bone on bone. I walk a little each day and have only been focused on getting the 70-80 grams of protein in and doing 3 "meals" a day. I have had no hunger issues and no trouble with the diet or with pain from the surgery. I am taking the Nexium 2 x a day since I have to take pain meds for my knee and I have added Colace and a vegetable laxative due to the costipation issues of the pain meds for the knee. My favorite thing about the surgery is that I no longer obsess about food all day long.

You want support and you live in Raymore, Mo. We're neighbors! I live in Olathe, Ks and I have battled my weight for 50 years. I am a therapist by profession. Any assistance that I can be with your parents, I would be happy to help. I had the sleeve surgery done Oct 30 and have already lost 42 lbs in 24 days. I can explain the whys of surgery in a manner that they will understand. PM me if you want and I will give you my cell number.

joon and Newmom, You are in excellent hands with Dr Aceves and Dr Campos. Anything you need, just ask. Sending healing energy your way. You are about to change your life for the best forever. Goodbye stress about eating and always feeling hungry!!!!!!!!

I also had surgery with Dr Aceves. I was on the same diet as Vegas. I however would say that I didn't have anything that even resembled pain either in the recovery room or thereafter. I would say that my pain level was a 2 except for day 2 when it was a 3. Once they took the drain out and I could sleep on my side again, I didn't have any pain. The only pain I had was caused by the gas used to inflate the stomach for surgery. I used a heating pad to help with that and walked a lot.

I like RTD 51 and Oh Yeah shakes. I still use Isopure by pouring it over shaved ice and adding a crystal light powder packet to it. I have never been hungry since surgery. I eat 3 meals a day (usually 1/2 cup of Soup or 1 sf pudding and a tablespoon of cottage sheese or applesauce). That is all I need to fill me up. I do not think about food 24/7 like I used to. I am only 24 days out right now but it is the best thing that I have ever done for myself and I do not understand why anyone would try the band when the sleeve is available.

I do not crave sweets at all like I did before surgery. I could not even think of eating a whole cookie or a piece of cake or a regular sized candy bar. I think that food has finally become something to keep me alive rather than something that I have to have every 2 hours because I am starving. I am not worried about food and I don't crave it or think about it ever waking moment anymore. The sleeve is a miracle for me.

I was originally look at the band and then saw so many people having problems with their bands after 2 years that I am glad I didn't. I had the sleeve Oct 30 2009 with Dr Aceves in Mexicali Mx. He was the best surgeon and the experience was wonderful. I was self pay which is why I went to Mexico but I would recommend everyone I know to go to him even over US doctors because his stats are so good and because I had better care there than I have had with multiple surgeries in the US over the last 45 years. I have no idea why your general surgeon would suggest not to go with the sleeve--was he or she speaking about the experience of your surgeon on that surgery or what? The band requires way too much followup with too many complications down the road. The sleeve is a much better surgery than Gastric bypass as it doesn't mess witht he intestines and thus you will not need to take boat loads of vitamins and mineral to stay healthy. Really, what was your gs's problem with the sleeve?

I had no pain at all due to Dr Aceves' great pain management routine. I do have to take pain meds for my knee pain being bone on bone without any cartilage but am taking a stool softener and vegtable laxative to avoid constipation issues brought on by the hydrocodone for the knee. Sleeve surgery is the best especially if you pick a great surgeon like I did.:confused1: I have not had even one second of regret and am doing great.

Really, I do believe that the surgery will work. I believe that we should exercise on a daily basis but only for 30 min to an hour and at the pace that is good for us. If you were a food addict, then the chance that you can develop addictions to other things (shopping, the gym workouts, dieting, weighing, etc etc etc) is high as well. The key toa happy life is to maintain a balance in work , in food, in exercise, in being with friends and family, in all things. Sometimes we will need professional help with this and that does not mean that we are crazy or weak or less than anyone else. It means that we are taking good care of ourselves and recognizing and fulfilling our needs. Keep reaching out and communicating.

I think that your surgeon will probably give you written diet plan which answers your questions. I could have sugar free jello and popsicles starting on day 5 after surgery. Color won't matter once you are home although in hospital they usually avoid red coloring in case you vomit they won't mistake it for blood. Good luck with your surgery!

Lan2K, This sounds like obsessive thoughts again from your anxiety and depression. My recommendation is to go on the anti depressant med or anti-anxiety med prescribed by a psychiatrist, not a general family doctor. Stop weighing yourself. You did not become obese over-night and you will not lose overnight. Your body is adjusting to surgery and trying to heal. Tell your family and friends to stop putting doubts into your brain about surgery because you are too anxious to hear them right now. If they can not say something positive about your progress to shut the hell up. Have someone you trust measure you (neck, upper arm, chest, waist, mid thigh, mid calf, ankle) and record the date and your weight. then put this paper away for 1 month and then repeat. Record all your food,water, supplement in a notebook while trying to minimize any salt use. You need to trust that the surgery is going to do its job if you do yours. Quit obsessing over this on a daily basis. Plan activities that you enjoy besides going to the gym. Your focus should be to avoid the emotional overload of obsessive negative thoughts reagarding yourself, your weight, the surgery, the diet. Do this for 3 months. Give your medications a chance to take care of the anxiety and depression. It will get easier. Feel free to call/post me if you want.

Sweetie333, Please list your doctor's full food program--I don't understand what you are allowed to have if you haven't been allowed a protein/ water supplement until a month out. I have no idea how he would allow mashed potatoes, a carb, before he would allow protein water. That being said, I would not be following what I consider, as a person who has followed diabetes diets for 35 years, to be really sucky nutrition advice from a doctor unless I had a great understanding of the why's behind his diet choices. Some doctors have no real knowledge of diet issues/nutitrion. I would be questioning him about the diet immediately and then be researching this issue and seeing someone else. What kind of experience does he have as a sleeve doctor? Does he have a support group for patients and can you check with them as to their experience with his diet? Sorry for the rant, but I can't understand his reasoning at all.

You will be able to stick to the post op diet because you will have just had the surgery which takes away the hunger hormone and allows you to once again make informed decisions about what you put in your stomach without having your stomach tell you falsely that you are starving. Of course the pre-op diet is hard. The carb cravings alone until day 4 or 5 of being off carbs were enough that I had to really think hard (and I am a trained therapist) before I responded to mistakes that my employees were making without just lashing out and chopping off their heads. LOL In reality, I am one of the most patient and empathetic people I know and the hunger pains and carb cravings were making me a road raging maniac from hell. You will be fine. I would keep your carbs down to under 30 grams and allow yourself to eat all the meat and green veggies you can stand. The purpose of the pre-op diet is to shrink the fat out of the liver--it is not to prove you can stick to an eating plan or to lose weight. It just helps the surgeon move the liver without it being too slippery and too rigid. Just take each meal at a time and don't stress about the entire week of pre-op. It is not giving up food for life--after surgery and it's recovery (one month) you can eat all foods that you want--you will just be SATISFIED with a few bites rather than the whole pan.

I suggest that you check out Dr Aceves in Mexicali, Mexico. It will be much cheaper than here in the States and much better care and service than here as well. You will also not have to jump through hoops of psych consults and other issues.

Ditto Tiffy's response for me. I did not want a host of new issues to get used to (dumping, inability to eat what I chose to eat, having to take mulitiple doses of expensive biaractric vitamins and suppliments every day for life due to malabsoprtion issues of RNY). The sleeve was my only choice after I had done my research. I am able to eat like a "normal" person for the first time in my life.

I had sleeve surgery Oct 30 with Dr Alberto Aceves in Mexicala, Mexico for $9,000 which included all pre-tests, consult, 3 days in hospital, all surgeons fees (including anesthesialogist, internist, primary surgeon and secondary surgeon) all hospital costs (OR, recovery room, medications, food, IV meds, take home meds), transportation from San Diego airport to Mexicali and back, 1 night in hotel, 3 leak tests after surgery) 4 visits in hospital per day with surgeons, pre surgery consult and review of my medical history, all letters needed for Flex spend reinbursement and letter of medical necessity from Dr Aceves. The only expense not covered was the roundtrip airline tickets to get me to San Diego. I would suggest you tell your surgeon to meet that price and that level of service if he wants your business. I would go back to Dr Aceves for surgery in a heartbeat. His service and that of the hospital was the best care I have received in my 50 years and 17 surgeries. I did not have to have a psych consult or jump through any hoops either. It is really a no brainer that Dr Aceves is the best.

Joon, You are not the only one awake at this time of night. My pain medication for my knee wore off at about 15 minutes ago and my pain woke me up. My cat is annoyed with me for waking her up to move her out of my way so that I could get out of bed. You will be doing so well in a few days that all the stress about the surgery and getting the time off work will seem like unnecessary overkill anxiety. I am 21 days out and have had no pain, no problems with adjusting to the sipping and continuous drinking of water. I have had no hunger and feel great. My blood sugars have been easy to control. Life is great. Enjoy your time off.

Thinoneday, I am not offended by what you said. I would hope that many people could say the same things--that they like themselves, that they rise above the difficulties of insults and criticism about being obese, that despite their weight they have a well balance life with relationships, dating, intimacy, independent thinking and live life to the fullest. However, my experience as a therapist is that you and your daughter are not the norm and that many people are truly bothered by the taunts, the discrimination, the feelings that they "should be able to control their eating and weight and that there is something wrong with them because they are fat". My postings are only to give people who want it an idea of what type of therapist might be able to help them with these issues. If it doesn't apply to you, don't pay it any attention.

Good Luck. I know you are excited. Post when you can.

Sorry that you had such a bad experience. (((((Hugs))))) I will keep you in my thoughts and send healing energy your way. Glad that you are with your kids and starting to feel more like yourself.

Hang in there, Daisey. I know all about trying to hold off surgery for the new year. Hope you feel better soon.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a psychotherapy treatment that was originally designed to alleviate the distress associated with traumatic memories. Basically, it was used with war veterans and rape victims to process the traumatic events and the emotional responses of the events to separate the emotional overlay the memory of the event caused in the client. During a trauma, what we think, hear, see, experience gets connected in the brain and then anytime we experience something similar, we tend to share that original emotion with the new event. For example, in junior high home economics class, we made a peasant blouse and skirt. Mine was a bright yellow solid blouse with a black and yellow striped skirt. On the first day I wore it, while I was enjoying an ice cream sandwich in the cafeteria and at the exact moment that ice cream fell on my breast, some teenage boys laughed at me and called me a "fat bumblebee". I was humiliated and connected the color yellow with being unattractive and ashamed. For years, I unconsciously avoided the color yellow in clothing and hated sewing and wearing skirts/blouses and did not want people to see me eat. This is a very minor example but, I hope that you can see how isolated incidents can be imprinted with emotions and affect how we live. I feel that the highly charged emotions of shame and guilt relate to a lot of food issues and the importance that we have placed on food. EMDR is a method of separating out the emotions from the events.

I will break down the two types of therapy. Hope this is not too technical. Will do EMDR in a separate post. DBT stands for Dialectical Behavior Therapy--this technique was developed by Marsha Lineham to work with people with Borderline Personality Disorder. (I am NOT saying that obese people have this disorder, but many obese people CAN benefit from this type of therapy). It is based on the following ideas: Mindfulness is the capacity to pay attention, nonjudgmentally, to the present moment. Mindfulness is all about living in the moment, experiencing one's emotions and senses fully, yet with perspective. It is considered a foundation for the other skills taught in DBT, because it helps individuals accept and tolerate the powerful emotions they may feel when challenging their habits or exposing themselves to upsetting situations. The concept of mindfulness and the meditative exercises used to teach it are derived from traditional Buddhist practice, though the version taught in DBT does not involve any religious or metaphysical concepts. Interpersonal response patterns taught in DBT skills training are very similar to those taught in many assertiveness and interpersonal problem-solving classes. They include effective strategies for asking for what one needs, saying no, and coping with interpersonal conflict. Individuals frequently possess good interpersonal skills in a general sense. The problems arise in the application of these skills to specific situations. An individual may be able to describe effective behavioral sequences when discussing another person encountering a problematic situation, but may be completely incapable of generating or carrying out a similar behavioral sequence when analyzing his or her own situation. The interpersonal effectiveness module focuses on situations where the objective is to change something (e.g., requesting that someone do something) or to resist changes someone else is trying to make (e.g., saying no). The skills taught are intended to maximize the chances that a person?s goals in a specific situation will be met, while at the same time not damaging either the relationship or the person?s self-respect. Emotion regulation: Identifying and labeling emotions Identifying obstacles to changing emotions Reducing vulnerability to emotion mind Increasing positive emotional events Increasing mindfulness to current emotions Taking opposite action Applying distress tolerance techniques Distress tolerance Many current approaches to mental health treatment focus on changing distressing events and circumstances. They have paid little attention to accepting, finding meaning for, and tolerating distress. This task has generally been tackled by psychodynamic, psychoanalytic, gestalt, or narrative therapies, along with religious and spiritual communities and leaders. Dialectical behavior therapy emphasizes learning to bear pain skillfully. Distress tolerance skills constitute a natural development from mindfulness skills. They have to do with the ability to accept, in a non-evaluative and nonjudgmental fashion, both oneself and the current situation. Although this is a nonjudgmental stance, this does not mean that it is one of approval or resignation. The goal is to become capable of calmly recognizing negative situations and their impact, rather than becoming overwhelmed or hiding from them. This allows individuals to make wise decisions about whether and how to take action, rather than falling into the intense, desperate, and often destructive emotional reactions that are part of borderline personality disorder. Skills for acceptance include radical acceptance, turning the mind toward acceptance, and distinguishing between "willingness" (acting skillfully, from a realistic understanding of the present situation) and "willfulness" (trying to impose one's will regardless of reality). Participants also learn four crisis survival skills, to help deal with immediate emotional responses that may seem overwhelming: distracting oneself, self-soothing, improving the moment, and thinking of pros and cons.

I would tell her what you told us. You want to be in charge of your daily meals and are looking for guidelines not a script. She should be able to accommodate that and if she is not--find yourself someone who will listen. My doctor gives us permission to eat solid foods (as tolerated) anytime after 31 days. Let her know that she is being too restrictive and too prescriptive for your needs.