mumof2boys

Well, it looks like your anniversary is coming up (not a good anniversary though). I'll be thinking of you on that day. I hope that you get through the day alright. Luckily I will be knocked out on mine. It truly is amazing at how I am these days. I have people wondering what has happened to me. I am full of life and don't worry about things anymore. In fact, I "pushed" my husband to go out with his friends the other night. I wanted to see how I would feel about it while I was sitting at home and he was out. Guess what...I didn't care. I have found inner peace within myself and to be honest...I don't know if I will get past everything that he has done but I do know that with or without him...I'm going to be just fine. I finally love myself and I am excited to wake up in the morning. I have great friends and family to help me and support me no matter what comes of this. On another note...this morning I weighed 147. Can you believe it...147...I was probably in the 9th grade the last time that I saw that. Boy oh boy...I can't believe it. Keep up the good work everyone...thanks for being here for me...continue to pray for me and keep me in your thoughts...you guys truly ROCK...

Just three short months from yesterday and I go under the knife...I'm nervous as hell and excited!!! About the breast lift...that's what I initially went in there for with my second consultation. Let's just say that by just doing a lift, it took me from a C cup to an A. I cannot have that. So....I'm getting the lift with implants. I want to remain the same size that I am...a C but I want a full C...not a skin filled bra C cup.

:laugh::thumbup::ohmy::thumbup::wink2::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup: I'm just on a high today and I am feeling like I will never come down!!!! I'm loving it...I can't explain what has come over me but I figure...I can't change the past and I really can't change the future...he's gonna do what he's gonna do, therefore...I gotta take care of me and that's exactly what I'm gonna do (and my kids). You guys rock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:w00t:

I just wanted to say..."I LOVE 2009"...I feel like a different person and I'm diggin it!!! Whatever happens, happens!

Well, I went yesterday for my second consultation...I added some things that I want done. I initially wanted a tummy tuck and inner thigh tuck. I'm going to have a lower body lift and breast lift with augmentation. I'm scheduled for April 14. The total for everything, including hospital stay, fees, implants, everything is just about $19,000. I will be paying for everything myself but I know it's so worth it. It also includes all follow-up visits forever!!! Good luck (and wish me luck).

Thank you...thank you...thank you....I have such a different outlook for 2009...I'M A NEW AND IMPROVED TINA!!!

Let the countdown begin...yesterday I scheduled my surgery for plastics. I'm getting a lower body lift and breast lift with augmentation. The big day is April 14, 2009...7:30 am...first surgery of the day. I am so excited, yet scared as hell. I know that I'm going to be in some serious pain but I figured it will all be worth it. I never thought that this day would come. I never thought that I would look the way that I do now and I can't wait to have an end result. Yesterday was my second consultation. I went to see how much it would be to add on a breast lift. Well...if I just did a lift...I would go from a C cup to an A. Oh...hell no!!! That goes to show you that it's all sagging skin (GROSS). Anyway...the butterflies in my stomach have already arrived. Anyone out there have these procedures done at the same time? How was your recovery? Give me all the details.

Well hello everyone and Happy New Year. 2009 is going to be 1,000% better than 2008...that's my promise to myself. I have told myself to accept the things that I cannot change. If my husband cannot change, I'm moving on with my life. I feel so good about myself right now I just can't explain it. I have so much confidence that I now hold my head up high. I love who I am and just because he saw fault in me, that's not going to stop me from being me. So...here's the latest news in my world. I have scheduled a surgery date for my plastic surgery. I am so excited I could just scream. Guess when I'm having it done???? April 14, 2009...that is my one year anniversary of finding out about his affair. I figured...make a horrible memory (the day of finding out) into a good one (changing my appearance forever)...plus, being out for about 7 hours and on some serious pain meds will be great too. Anyway...I'm having a lower body lift and breast lift with implants. Can you say "hello dump truck just hit me". I'm going to be hurting big time but it can't be any worse than April 14, 2008, right? I'm going to start the paperwork today for my loan and I'm going to use our tax refund money. Oh my goodness...I can't believe that I'm actually going to get this nasty skin cut off. So...what do you guys think? Have I made strides? Don't get me wrong...I still have my moments but the thing that has made me feel better about myself...I get so many compliments from people (men) now that I'm not afraid of being alone...I'm not afraid of living life for me and my kids...if things cannot be made right in my marriage...I know that I can make it. :thumbs_up: Thanks so much guys. You guys rock. Make sure that you check out the plastics thread to keep track of my progress and wish me luck!!!! Woo Hoo 2009!!!!!

Thanks for everyones support. It is an especially difficult time right now. I truly love the holidays but this year it's totally different. I'm really not myself. I want to be, but I just can't be. I don't know if it's because I know deep down that I will NEVER get over this and my marriage is over or because I'm just not ready to move on. The hurt is just too much for me to handle right now. He is doing everything and I mean everything right but I can't get the images out of my head of him and her (and she's one ugly dog too). I am feeling so much better about myself and I don't think that I'm scared to be alone anymore but I also don't want to give up on my marriage. I just hope that after the holidays I can refocus and start moving forward. I'm so sorry to hear that many of you have been through the same thing. It's not right, it's not fair and it's not what marriage is all about. Maybe one day this world will understand the true meaning of being faithful. Until then, many of us suffer.

It is very hard and I have always been that person that said that cheating was a "deal breaker" and then I'm faced with it and I looked into my innocent kids eyes and I couldn't give up without trying. I have learned things about my husband that I had no idea about. He has issues to work through and so do we as a couple. Believe me...It was not an esay decision to make.

Thank you for your prayers and thoughts. You are right, it is the most difficult thing that someone can go through. I don't wish it upon anyone (except the other woman). I really don't think that spouses understand the true pain behind it all. They say that they do after the fact but in reality, there is no way that they can understand it to the fullest. I am sorry to hear that you have had to deal with a similiar situation. I hope that you got through everything alright.

The rabbit? LOVE IT. However, my favorite is the Decedent Indulgence. It is my new best friend and I recommend it to anyone and everyone. When you're in a hurry and don't have much time, all you need is about three minutes and you are good to go. I love it!!!!

Thanks everyone. I just can't wait for the day that I can go through an entire day without thinking about it. It truly does consume me. I'm no longer obsessed with what she looks like since I have finally seen her picture...I'm just obessed with thinking..."This time last year he was..." Plus...with the holidays coming I can't help but think that the last couple of years have been a lie and it's killing me.

Hello everyone. I know it's been a very long time. I have been trying to get my life back together and I haven't been on the site much lately. My weight is the same...I have about 7 more pounds to go until I will be absolutely beside myself. Right now I'm fitting into a size 8/10 and loving every single minute of it. Anyway...back to the topic at hand. Let me tell you all about the last month. My husband has been the most wonderful person on this planet. I have no idea who he is. He has completely changed and of course I'm scared to death that it won't last. We have been going out on dates and we have been getting along very well and communicating regularly. We still go to counseling and have a lot to work out. The bad thing...I cannot get the past out of my mind for one second of a day. I have seen a picture of the other woman and let me just tell you...YUCK!!! Looking at that picture, I realize that it would have been ANYBODY. She is not cute at all and I'm not just saying that. Believe me when I say that I have NEVER said anything like this before, but...I am sooooo much hotter than her. lol So...not only is she a low-life, no good for nothing home wrecking whore, she's ugly on top of that. Don't get my wrong...my husband is a home wrecker too. I just get to remind him everyday of it and I don't get to remind her so I just get to say it to make myself feel better. I hope that everyone is doing well and surviving through the holidays. I'm not ready for Christmas at all this year. Usually I am completely done shopping and wrapping by now. I'm very far behind...I guess you could say that 2008 wasn't the best year for me. Well...thanks for all of the well wishes. I will continue to keep you guys informed as this soap opera unfolds. Take care everyone!!!

Thanks guys. I appreciate everything that everyone has said. I have been really struggling these past two weeks and I am actually worried about myself. I feel myself falling deeper into a depression and I'm getting scared. In discussions with my therapist and just "thinking" in general to myself, this is what I come up with as to why he "may" have been telling HER personal information about me. From what I understand, she was asking questions about me and he would answer. I truly think that she lives her life having affairs and she knows how to get out of them when she's done because she knows so much information about the wife. She knew where I worked and the particular office that I worked in, which gave her the power to contact my immediate supervisor at work after I called and cussed her out. (I work for the federal government...a law enforcement agency). Also, I think that when she was done with my husband she knew so much information about me that she could simply say, "If you don't leave me alone, I'm going to call your wife". Now...I could be WAY off with that, so...here's my other thought....I think that my husband was telling her these things to give himself permission in his mind to have the affair. I think that he was making himself believe that it was alright because by saying these things out loud to another person about me made it justifiable for him. In his mind, he was justifying the affair..."I got fat...I was mean to him...I didn't trust him..." Cheating has ALWAYS been a deal breaker for me, that's what makes this even harder. I am struggling so much. I can say, however, that the person that my husband is right now is the husband that I have always wanted. He is so attentive to my needs, surprises me with things (he just got tickets to Cirque du Soele and reservations for dinner...he WOULD never go there before). He calls me all day from work and he waits on me hand and foot. He is also much more patient with the kids and is just a totally different person. I really and truly feel that he is completely embarassed, ashamed and remorseful. I understand that nobody can make this choice for me but I truly thank you guys for letting me vent in "your room" and for your suggestions/comments, etc. Please continue to share anything that you would like with me. Also...thanks for saying that I look good now...I'm not used to that AT ALL!!! It's a real ego booster and right now is the best time to boost my ego. Thanks.

Hey there guys...I know that this is your room but I thought that you might be able to help me. I was banded on April 30, 2007 and I'm down 125 pounds. I have gone from a size 22/24 to a size 10. Not bad, huh? I feel great, look great and finally have confidence. Here's the thing. Approximately six months ago I discovered that my husband of 10 years had been having an affair for the past year and a half. He told this girl (no one like her deserves to be called a woman) everything about me. She knew when I was having surgery...she knew when I had reached "45" pounds down, she knew about my childhood. So...what the hell is all that about? I know that cheating isn't just a mans thing but I'm wondering if any of you have done it and if so, did you share such personal things with your significant other. Also...from your view...do you think that someone can change? I'm still so up in the air about all of this. I'm in so much pain and hurt every single day that I don't know if I can cope and then again I have no guarantee that someone else won't do this to me. It seems to be accepted in today's society. So...anything that you guys can give me would be much appreciated. Thanks for letting me into your room and thanks in advance for any information that you want to share. If you don't want to share personal information but do want to give me a little insight but not on this thread, feel free to PM me. Thanks, guys!!!

Hi everyone...just thought that I would give a quick update as to where I'm at these days. I'm still on this roller coaster called "crazy". One minute I'm great and the next I'm crying. My doctor has upped my dose of anti-depressants in hopes of helping me to stop crying so much. My husband and I went to his 20th high school reunion this past weekend and I must admit...we had a fabulous time. I was feeling hot in the dress that I was wearing and I was just beaming with confidence. I didn't think about my "reality" at all. We didn't get home until 7:30 am Sunday morning. So...needless to say, I partied like a rock star (and gained 7 pounds from the White Russians). So...that's where I'm at right now. Still going up and down. I'm slowly still learning information about his affair and whenever I learn something new, it sets me back and I feel the hurt and pain all over again. I'm trying to cope and I'm trying to stay strong and I have to admit that he is certainly doing everything in his power to make it better for me. Unfortunately we cannot erase what he has done so I have to do my best to deal with it, get past it and/or move on. Thanks to everyone for all the PMs, prayers, suggestions and for letting my vents. You guys rock.

We are in counseling together and he is in individual counseling. I just feel that there is so much that he is still hiding. I also feel like I don't know the full story...when I ask questions, he simply says, "I don't know". WTF? How can you carry on an affair for almost two years and you don't know why? How can you not tell me what SHE had that I don't have? How can you not tell me what me her so special that you treated me like crap and your kids. I just get very frustrated. I get to the point where I don't want to talk to him at all because looking at him just sparks up anger in me even more. I'm a weirdo, I know. I get so angry. I yell at him, call him aweful names, tell him that I'm done with him. You name it. I don't know what will happen right now. However, it is good to hear that this sounds normal (as horrible as it is). Well, my friends...keep those hugs coming...they are starting to make me feel a "little" better.

Good luck with the walk. I did the 3-Day walk in Washington DC on October 3-5. It was a total of 60 miles and it was the best feeling in the world to have participated in it. I can't wait to do it again next year. I wish that I could join you this weekend but I'll be having a much needed weekend away. Best of luck to you and your team.

Hi everyone. I'm back and need some hugs. I'm having a really bad week and I'm not quite sure why. Tuesday marked six months since I found out about his affair. I'm in a bad slump and unfortunately it seems to really be taking a toll on me. I have been eating everything in sight and in fact I gained 13 pounds in two weeks. Reality hit and I lost six of them but I can't stand that this is getting the best of me. I used to feel strong and now I am feeling so weak. I don't know what I want. I don't know if I can do it myself or if I even want to. If I don't continue with my husband and find someone else later in life, who says that he won't do the same thing to me? I'm scared that I'll make the wrong decision and I'm shutting down. I didn't speak to my husband at all yesterday and didn't answer any of his calls. We emailed all day and I was a complete bitch to him. He didn't do anything to deserve it yesterday, it was just one of those days for me. I'm going away this weekend for a mother/daughter weekend at the beach and some shopping at the outlets (even though I have NO money). I think that the time away will do me good but I was just away two weeks ago for the walk and here I sit in a terrible mood. For those of you who have been through this...when am I going to start feeling better? Am I ever going to feel like the same person again? Will I come out of this a better person? Did you go through the same roller coaster that I'm on? I just wish that I could close my eyes and have all of this go away. I hate dealing with this. I want to crawl into a hole and not come out. I sound so pathetic. Well...thanks for listening guys. I'm hoping that I can come out of this funk rather quickly. I'm not letting my children see me in a funk. I'm in a good mood when I'm around them but when I'm at work I just want to shut my office door and stare at the wall. Damn...this sucks. Take care, everyone.

Thanks guys!!! I can't tell you how great it felt to go across that finish line. I was sobbing!!! I posted some pictures in an album in my profile. You can check them out if you like. You guys are the best...you keep me going when I am down and I can't thank you enough. I'm so ready to do the walk again next year. Anyone want to join me?:eek: