TLL

Weight loss surgery is difficult, to say the least. The operation takes place after years or a lifetime of being obese and after months of research and preparation. Recovery can be anywhere from “not too bad” to riddled with complications. Nearly every aspect of your lifestyle changes, from your diet to the way you look to your relationships to your mental state. The entire experience is long and challenging, no matter how rewarding.


BariatricPal recognizes the challenges of being in the weight loss surgery community. You need every bit of support and information you can get to choose the best surgery for yourself, prepare for surgery, lose weight, and get healthy for the long term. The peer-to-peer support that BariatricPal members provide can be among the most powerful tools you have to help you achieve your goals. So please, help build the community up instead of tearing it down.
Potential for a Powerful, Unified Community
Our weight loss surgery communities began as WLSBoards, with four separate forums: LapBandTalk, VerticalSleeveTalk, RNYTalk, and SleevePlicationTalk. Each forum was dedicated to a single type of weight loss surgery. Members could discuss surgeons, diets, complications, and anything else related to weight loss surgery in general or the specific type of weight loss surgery in particular.
Then we merged the four WLSBoards to create BariatricPal, which is geared toward all types of weight loss surgery. This decision was based on the following beliefs.
We are all in this together. We have the same goal of fighting obesity through weight loss surgery.
The surgery types share many common characteristics and BariatricPal members can therefore benefit from having more input on topics such as the post-surgery diet progression, choosing a surgeon, ways to get more protein, and dealing with head hunger.
As a single community, we have greater potential to be a unified and strong voice for weight loss surgery than we did as separate communities.
Some topics are surgery-specific, and there is a need for surgery-specific subforums for certain topics such as fills for lap-band patients, experience with protein shakes for sleeve patients who may not be able to eat enough on a regular basis, and dumping syndrome for gastric bypass patients.

Has BariatricPal Become a Divisive Arena?
Unfortunately, BariatricPal members have had some regrettable experiences that contradict these principles. Rather than being supported, encouraged, and assisted, some members have felt attacked or belittled by other members who do not believe in their choices, whether in regards to type of surgery, food choices, or other lifestyle choices. Rude behavior, while unacceptable in any circumstance, is especially damaging in our community.
It weakens our collective voice.
It prevents some weight loss surgery patients and potential patients from getting the information they need.
It discourages WLS patients from pursuing their healthy lifestyles.

Avoid Destructive Posts
Most BariatricPal members are polite, helpful, and encourage. Occasionally, though, members post inappropriate and potentially hurtful posts that put down one type of weight loss surgery or another individual’s choice. In general, a poor post is one that makes a person feel bad and does not offer any useful information. These are examples of unacceptable posts.
“I didn’t even know they offered the lap-band surgery anymore because it’s so dangerous.”
“Weight loss is easy with the gastric bypass surgery. The rest of us have to work harder.”
“You shouldn’t be asking if you can eat that. If you even are thinking about it, you shouldn’t have gotten WLS.”

It’s okay to offer your opinion, but do it kindly. If you’re not sure if your post is okay, think about it before your post. The rule of thumb is to always err on the side of caution. Think how you would act if you were face-to-face with a good friend who had an opinion with which you disagree. You would listen to his or her position, then acknowledge the reasoning for that opinion. Then you would state your opinion and explain why you feel that way. Remember that feelings are harder to convey in written online conversations, and gentle words of advice can be interpreted harshly.
What We Have to Gain (or Lose)
When we all support each other, regardless of type of weight loss surgery, we have a lot to gain.
Positive atmosphere where everyone feels welcome, so those who need it feel comfortable to come and ask questions
Unbelievable wealth of experience and knowledge…among people who are kind enough to share it
A place where open discussions can lead to brainstorming and generation of ideas and strategies for success
A sense of pride that we are all here, with the same goal through the same means. Let us celebrate!

When rudeness and disrespect take over, we have just as much to lose. Just think about what would happen if you had a question, asked it, and got told that your question is dumb or that you are doing something wrong in your weight loss journey. Maybe you would leave BariatricPal or, worse, you would be afraid to ask your question anywhere else because you didn’t feel comfortable anymore. Nobody deserves to be treated like that.
Take a moment when you are on BariatricPal to appreciate the warm community, and think about what it means to you. The next time you post, ask yourself: are you helping to build a stronger weight loss surgery community, or are you tearing it down?