Penni60

Typically there would be moldy food from left overs, but thanks to Christina's thread challenge I emptied all the bad food out and cleaned it. I hope to go shopping on Monday to fill it with nice fresh foods, veggies, fruits, and healthy stuffs.

I have been weighing (Pun intended) all my options. I still am not sure what I will do. The contract sitpulates that you must be available to travel between Feb and June. So if I get picked for BIggest Loser then France is definitely OUT. Unless I of course get voted off immediately which we all know I won't. LOL!!! THe deadline for submitting via mail is Jan 31st so I have to decide fast. The struggle is on-going with NO band. THanks for asking. I started my Nutrisystem foods and so far so good. I weigh in tomorrow for Lisa's challenge. I am hampered somewhat due to my back attacking up AGAIN!! It is my sciatica. Or as John calls it my "psychotic nerve". LOL!!! So Flexiril and Lortab are my friends right now. I am getting better but this slows down my exercise routine ALOT. I can't get out of a chair without it hurting. I can't sit on the potty without it hurting. I can't lie in one position for too long or it hurts. Get the picture? I HURT!! This is only the second day for me to suffer so I hope by Monday I will be better enough to go for a walk. Keep your fingers crossed. I think I will make my decision soon regarding this dilemma. I will keep you guys posted.

Most times Insurance will cover the band removal. My doctor is Dr. Helmuth Billy in Ventura. He just removed my band due to erosion on Dec 6, 2005 about a month ago. I don't know the cost as we treated it as an emergency. Most insurances will cover if treated as such. I can't guarantee all will. I can't recommend him highly enough.

Heard back from Don Mills as well. His comments are as such: Thanks for bringing this to my attention. Naturally, we cannot have patients buying restricted products that have expired and possibly used by untrained surgeons. We will have this stopped. At least they don't want it to continue.

Yes it is scary seeing all the other items the one bidder bought. I placed a bid on it just for fun and also sent a rather desparate email to the seller. This could get really interesting. What if I actually won the bid? LOL!!!! I have a band to place in 6 months. Cause you know what? I will sell it back to Inamed for $3000. LOL!!!! Too funny. Who knows what will happen if I win the bid.

Ok this is a long story but I will try to keep it short. As some of you may remember I am involved with this guy John who is a singer songwriter. We went on tour in 2000 doing House Concerts and had an L.A. based film crew follow us around and do a documentary. We finally got a distribution deal signed sealed and delivered last month. WHOO HOO!! The distributor is taking the film to Cannes Film Market in May. Guess who has the opportunity to go to the French Riviera in May? YUP! ME and John of course. So what does this have to do with Biggest Loser auditions? I am getting ready to tell you. GEEZ you guys are impatient. LOL!! Anyway, the Biggest Loser contract was downloaded and filled out two weeks ago. I re-read it last night and discovered I would need to be available for filming, because you know I would be picked, from Feb through June. SIGH!! So Biggest Loser or South of France??? HMMM!! Hard decision!! Thoughts from you guys?

Just got a response from Larry Fulton and he said he found it last night as well and is bringing it to the Corporate Council. Impressive? Maybe!! Time will tell.

This should get interesting cause I just sent the Ebay listings of both the port and the band to Inamed. Let's see what they have to say.

DOING THE HAPPY DANCE!!! :Bunny :Bunny :Bunny :Bunny :Bunny :Bunny :Bunny :Bunny :Bunny

I paid $450 for my daughter's wedding photos. I LOVED the pics. It was a husband wife team and they were awesome. THey are in Clarksville of course and yes they do it for a living. He did both color and B&W and some digital. Very professional and they were dressed accordingly. He was never obtrusive and seemed to blend into the background. I didnt' even know he was there except when we did the posed shots. He was awesome.

My starting weight is 244 My BMI is 38.5 (considered Obese) Will update my measurements later today. Not sure what my Body Fat % is so have to skip that one. I may not want to know either. LOL!! Today is Thursday, Jan 5, 2006 - I, Penni Merrick, Unbanded, do hereby make a committment to MYSELF (cause that is the only person that matters) to get healthier and happier by exercise, diet, and water intake. I commit to STOP beating myself up if I fall off and have to jump back on the wagon from time to time, because it will happen. I commit to finding alternative ways to keep busy instead of looking for something to eat. And most importantly, I commit to being a better all around person for the rest of my life and to understand there will be times I will be a bitch and to give myself that right. IT IS ALL ABOUT ME THIS YEAR!!!!!!!!!

OK as most of you know I was unbanded due to erosion on Dec 6 - almost a month ago. In that month I have lost and then gained back some of the 10 lbs post banding. This is frustrating more so now than before I was ever banded. I have more knowledge now about food and the nuances of calorie counting, portion control, exercise, water intake, etc and it is driving me crazy. I know all the bad things I should stay away from. Do I listen to my knowledgable counterpart? NO! I rebel. I feel like a teenager and rebelling against my mom. Then I feel guilty if I don't eat the right foods and then I feel like a failure all over again. I know I know one day at a time. How easy it is to say but so hard to do. AT some point you just need to let go of the yesterdays and deal with the todays. AGain easier said than done. I don't know what I am gonna do. I have ordered the Nutrisystem foods and just waiting for them to be delivered. Hopefully they will come this week. I am trying my best to eat healthier. I have apples, pears, carrots, oatmeal, eggs, and lean meats in the house for me to eat. I also have NON cream based soups. I have NO desserts in the house. I told John to NOT bring any in period. I can't have them in the house or I will eat them. I did have one PBV (post band victory). I went to OUTBACK and had a chicken breast - bandster portion, steamed broccoli, and a salad. I had three bites of a cheese cake with chocolate sause. The Victory here is I only had three bites of the cake. I could have eaten it ALL. John had the rest. I am struggling and there are days when I just wanna lie down and cry and scream and throw a fit and say WHY ME. But I don't. What good would it do? SO I focus on making my jewelry and getting the biz up and running. At least it is keeping my hands busy while I work. I don't have something shoved in my mouth every few minutes. Christina called me on the phone last night and suggested "Biggest Loser" to me. I have the application already filled out just have to do the video then I am submitting. Thanks for listening

Hello anyone out there?

Thanks Jess and Diane: I am just so frustrated right now. I wanna eat healthier but it seems my head wants something totally different. So I have this constant battle every day with every meal. I am getting tired of the fight. Alice the good demon wants me to eat healthy and stay away from all the bad stuff. Buffy the bad demon encourages me to eat all the wrong foods. Yes I call them both demons cause when it deals with food they are demons. I hate and love food. Alice and Buffy are fighting constantly and it is driving me nuts. LOL!! As if I aren't already giving names to the battling demons. LOLOLOL!!!! Nope not nuts here. Calgon take me away!!!

Hey there: I will be in town Feb 12 through March 5 visiting family and playing with my new grandson. I would love to meet some of you if you would like. Wanna plan something?

Hey all you Tucson people, I am coming to visit for the Bead and Gem Show starting Jan 31 through Feb 10. I will have some time to visit or meet up with some of you nifty people. Wanna plan something?

I would LOVE to be a penpal. Hey CasinoGal: I am gonna be in Tucson at the end of Jan through Feb 10th. I am going to the Bead and Gem show there. Wanna try to hook up? I am not sure how far you are from Tucson.

Zoe, thanks for the post. Quick Update: This has been and is the worst time in my life. I am a basket case but yet put on this smiley face for everyone. I can't stand this. I am hungry ALL the time. I hate food I love food I am hungry ALL the time. I hate food I love food Get the picture? I am gaining weight back. THat is the scary part. I guess I am gonna have to talk to my therapist again. UGH!! Just more money. But if I don't do something I will balloon back to 300 and then I will withdraw from life again. I don't want that to happen. I had a good friend call me today and be very sweet and kind and offer her genuine support and belief that I can get through this and I will win the battle. THis touched me so much that I was on the verge of tears. I just don't have that same belief and trust in myself. She asked me to promise (commit) to doing 30 min of exercise tonight. I couldn't even do that. How sad is that? I love you friend. You have touched me deeply. I have ordered Nurtisystem food and just waiting for it to arrive. I am trying desperately to be GOOD but man is it hard. I envy Lisa her restriction. I can eat anything. I do mean anything. This is almost worse than when I was before banding. Before banding I didn't realize just how much I was eating. Now post banding I see and understand almost everything I eat is bad for me. Knowledge can be a bad thing. LOL!!! Anyway, thanks for listening to me rant. I will get through this some way. I have been praying for the courage to face my demons every day. Some days I win and some days they win. And so it goes. Hugs!!

Knowing my luck I will channel the lady next door that is doing laundry. SIGH!!

MUST be nice to have restriction. I came out of surgery with ZERO. I can eat a horse and if one meanders by me all bets are off.

I was banded at SANOVIV Medical Center in Rosarito, MX -- I believe I was the only one banded of the four of us at this facility. I have talked to Inamed till I am blue in the face. I have emailed them and spoken with them on several occasions. Craig Arthur, Don Mills, Larry Fuller all from Inamed will talk and talk and like Lisa said never say ANYTHING. SIGH!! So frustrating. Even if the Mexico docs aren't proctoring US Docs anymore so what?!! They did in the trials and some docs are still using the techniques taught to them by the MX surgeons. What difference does it make now? I think the stats are just too coinky dink personally. The two surgeons mentioned were partners at one time. They supposedly used the same technique, same facilities. Wouldn't it be an accurate assumption to conclude that the technique used could be a factor here? We can speculate all we want and do the dance and guessing game, the bottom line is we lost our bands. THis sucks!!

I DID I DID I DID I DID!!!!

Aww, guys you make me tear up. It has been a struggle and battle of late to come here and post. I will come as often as possible and offer my opinions and comments. As Michele said, I need you guys as much as you need me. I need the support since I am flying blind now. HUGS to you ALL!!

Penni Here. LOL!! I am recuperating just fine. Thanks! It has been a struggle so far to eat healthier after the band was removed. I fight it every day.

I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SIGNED and committed. THANKS dawlin