shouser331

Thank you, my husband supports my journey and its true that my worse in the better or for worse is my weight. He never had weight problems and can eat basically what ever he wants but with me trying to get ready for this life changing journey, he is cooking healthier options for me (i dont cook well) We agreed last night that we would walk the dogs every night again like we used to and he is going to help me join the Y next to our house. I seem to get jealous easier and when we are around pretty skinny girls i just feel worse but he assured me last night he does not want that and he wants me...just me happier and healthy.

So im feeling more sensitive lately about my weight than ever before and im about 50 days out still for my surgery! I was doing really good and lost 3 pounds in a week and now im eating for all the wrong reasons again. I questioned my husband on him being faithfull and broke down crying cause i cant understand why he is with me when im not a skinny beautiful wife. I dont know if this is normal before surgery or not but i guess im putting a lot of pressure on myself to get healthy and i have a lot of accountability to live up to. Im scared about failing i guess but then the next minute im excited and looking at all my old clothes and getting ready to be able to wear them. Im a hot mess right now i guess and hope these feelings get easier to deal with. Ive heard a lot of people talk about how emotional this journey is and i never realized it until now, and i havent even had the surgery yet! UGH....Any advice??

Thanks, im gonna need it!

Well all my medical/psycological testing is done and now I have to wait for the insurance to be notified about everything. Im not sure how this all works but Im praying they dont make me jump through more hoops before surgery April 25th!! I went to my family Dr today and her page printed out saying that im Morbid Obese so if that doesnt make them cover this, i dont know what will. Im more than ready for this, if only they knew how much i need this. Im sure it will work out and if i have to pay out of pocket, I will cause this is to save my life. Im not the kind of person that handles waiting very well and I just want this done tomorrow if you know what i mean. I cried on the way home cause I feel like ive done everything i can to get this surgery and now the decision is in someone else's hands. I have 57 days to get ready for this and Im just going to use that time to make new healthy habits and get my life organized so that when it comes im with out excuses. My 8 year old daughter thinks im going to be skinny when i get out of surgery but i explained that i have to still eat healthy and excersize and its not instant. ( I wish it was!) Gotta keep positive and pray it all works out in the end cause its worth it

Im starting to get excited that my body is going to change drastically but i also know that I have a lot of work to do to get where i want to be. Im looking forward to going up the stairs without being out of breath, putting on socks and shoes easily and making excersize a hobby instead of a chore. Im at the begining at 306 pounds but thats ok cause it won't last. Surgery in April is coming and my life is going to be different and better!