shouser331

[font=georgia,serif][size=4]Hi my name is Sarah [/size][/font]

[font=georgia,serif][size=4]So Ive struggled with food and weight my whole life basically. I remember getting made fun of for being chunky in grade school so i stopped eating so much and became anorxic in 8th grade. Eventually i became healthy again and was doing Tae bo everyday and had a 6 pack. I loved working out and being healthy. I got pregnant with my daughter in College and had to have a emergency c section with her so it seems after that my body changed drastically and i could not keep off weight. I tried Weight watchers, Jenny Craig, detoxes and diet pills and my weight went up and down. I eventually got married and settled down and was happy so stopped focusing on myself so much and gradually gained more and more weight. I had to have a large wedding dress which was embarressing. I tried more diets and seemed to gain everything back each time. I just recently realized i have a bad relationship with food and it's never been "healthy". So my husband has a 9 year old son from a previous relationship and i have my daughter from a previous relationship. I really want to have a child with my husband and ive tried gettng pregnant for the past year with no luck. My doctors have hinted that it is cause of my weight but ive been in denial. Im a working mom and i often eat fast food and on the run due to my hectic schedule. I dont eat what i should but eat what i can. My husband is recovering alcholic and i put a lot of effort into helping him in his recovery and ive let myself go and havent taken care of myself. I avoid the scale but when i faced it 4 weeks ago i was at 306 pounds. I cried for two days and even had friends emailing be saying they remember how i used to look basically like i dont know how bad its gotten. I mentioned the lap band to my husband and he told me its time to take care of myself and this is his turn to help me like i helped him. I made my consultation appointment cried the whole way home cause i realized there might be hope. I cant do much without being out of breath, i wear the same shirts and pants cause jeans are too uncomforable and im so tired of it all. My daughter asked me the other day if i was going to be skinny again and it broke my heart. I want to be a better mom, a better spouce and bring an addition to my family someday. I refuse to give away my skinny clothes cause I WANT to wear them! I told my family and friends my plans for the lap band and they surprisingly are behind me on this, even my mom who is very conservative about everything. My surgery is schedled for 4/25 and i cannot wait for it to be my turn to get help. I know its a tool and not a cure, but im ready and willing to save my life and be the person im meant to be. I have goals now and i feel hope again. I cannot wait to see where this journey brings me and IM READY!!![/size][/font]