Well, I don't have a lot of advice except to tell you that you certainly have been through a lot, and I'm 38 and it stinks to have all those health issues and lack of energy. I'm exactly in the same boat. My BMI is 38.7. I personally have chosen the band because statistically as presented to me, it is very safe. That was key for me. The weight may not come off as fast as with gastric, but you're not on a sprint here, it's a marathon. And losing it slower is more beneficial to your body.
I'm only a pre-bander so I can't tell ya how well it works, but I can tell you I'm excited I'm doing it and my advice is to find a seminar for the band in your area and get as much information as you can.
Good luck and health to you!!!!