mimi81082

I'm sorry to see no one responded to your post! Let me begin by telling you my own father always told me that no man could or would ever love a fat woman.....so I share your struggles with how men perceive us to be. I also have many male friends who joke that large women give better oral sex. (sorry if that's too graphic, but I'm being honest and direct here....ladies, if that's news to you, step back and watch what they want from you!!!) Because of both of these reasons, I've had a really hard time trying to figure out why a man would want to go out with me----until I had a few tell me. The results were surprising, and might be helpful for you! They enjoyed my company. They think I'm cute and want to get to know me better. Ummmm hello?! Yep. It's hard to hear and even harder to believe, but I'm still working on digesting it.
I've struggled with dating. I started this journey with a live-in boyfriend. He encouraged me to do this and was the only person whom I confided in when I decided to do it. Needless to say, when my eating habits changed, it became painfully apparent that he and I had little else in common, other than eating.
I starting dating a few months after moving out from our house. The first few dates were hard primarily because I wasn't emotionally ready. Then, once emotionally ready, I had a tough time eating. I started making dates for the strange time after meals so I wouldn't be expected to eat. I go out for coffee even though I don't drink coffee! I'm still working on digesting this whole transformation. Mine has been slow but I'm a work in progress.
I've been on a dating website and still worry that when men see me, they won't find me attractive. My pictures on the site are all recent but I still have that fear-----that rejection awaits when they finally see me. At my support group we talked at length about being intimate and whether or not you tell the men you've had surgery. Honestly, I've asked my guy friends about this---if a man is naked with you, he's definitely NOT looking at skin, stretch marks or scars. He's just so damned happy you're naked with him that he's hoping to have a good performance!
Little by little, you'll grow to respect yourself more and feel better about yourself when you've heard it enough times. I'm still working on it, but it's a struggle worth winning....I hope your dating is going well. It's been a while since you originally posted.

I had my first fill yesterday, and had no idea that they do fills in baby steps. I have yet to try "normal" food after this first fill, but I know that in the last week leading up to the fill, I was also feeling like I was eating too much and feeling like a failure. I wasn't focusing on my successes at all though. I love how you pointed out to remember our successes. For me, that would be not eating any sort of chocolate candy bar since prior to July 31. I didn't know I could go that long without dying!!! or at least feeling like I was gonna die or hurt someone. I am enjoying feeding my body with quality food instead of whatever I feel like eating. I get a strange sense of satisfaction by not eating near the quantity that I used to, and eating healthier. Makes me feel much better emotionally!