Saltmistrose

Veruca, bottom line, life is not fair and no one should have ever told you it would be fair. I know it is hard, but we all have our **** to bear and endure. Life does try to balance itself out, but we often don't get the opportunity to see it happen. I am a survivor. I get through things and other people's ****, but I don't do it pretty. I can't tell you how often I have had to dry my tears, take a deep breath, dust myself off, and start all over again. I think you have to have a positive attitude to remain in good condition to meet the challenges that life throws at you. I know struggle builds my character, and makes me more able to empathize with others. It is good Karma to pay things forward in life and practice, patience and tolerance for others. Nothing is to be gained by being envious of others or curse the darkness in our lives. It cripples us and and we have to overcome our emotions to think clearly and to come up with a strategy to get where we need and want to go in our lives. However, when we win the battle, we have only ourselves and god/the universe to claim responsibility for the victory. Of course, just imo. :-) Shalom my friend.

Well on Monday, November 26th, 2012, Federal Blue Cross Blue Shield Overseas, agreed to cover the cost of my gastric sleeve surgery. Surgery was scheduled for Thursday, November 29th, 2012. God is good and wonders never cease! For months I have had to call everyone involved in this process and see what was needed, what was sent, what was recieved, and what still needed to be done. It was like hearding cats! I was sure it would crash and burn, but yet it didn't. On Thursday, I showed up at Ascot Hospital for my surgery as planned! I was delighted. I wasn't worried in the least. I guess was practiced enough at surgeries, but the time I arrived. My last surgery was only about 10 weeks ber fore the gastric sleeve surgery. I had a huge hernia repair down earlier at Auckland City Hospital under the public medical scheme. This surgery had to done under the private pay scheme, because I was too old to be put on the public scheme list (over the age of 50). Thank God I kept my private health insurance, even after I became a New Zealand resident. I came to my WLS through the back door for sure. Less than 2 years ago, I had an emergency removal of my gallbladder and a golf balls sized gallstone. Upon awakening from surgery I sneezed. I felt something pop, like a suture pulling. I was told that I was wrong about what I thought had happened. However, in December, while sitting on the toilet, my resulting hernia made it's first appearance. I named her Helen. Helen developed into a nasty b***h! My bowel was pinching more and more through the ever growing hole in my muscle wall. I did a lot of research into hernia repair surgery. Low and behold, I found out that post operative hernias were very common place. Additionally, I became convinced that I would have a very poor prognosis of having the hernia repaired long term, if I did not loose weight and the pressure behind the repair would reopen the repair. LIght bulb moment went off during this time. I am 56, have been overweight forever, didn't have diabetes "yet" or high blood pressure "yet". Diabetes on both sides of the family, large polycystic ovary syndrome women in my gene pool, and an overweight younger sister (like me). Knew I was unable to do the very hard work it would take to loose even a small amount of weight, and keep it off. Had givien up talking about and thinking about ever being able to loose weight. Had suffered believing that WLS was the easy "cheater's" way out of a problem I had made for myself, because I was lazy. Blamed myself almost to death. Somehow relized that if ever I was going to do this at a time without all the complications that were looking me straight in the face, it was going to be now. It might me my last chance at a good quality remainder of my life. I took the plunge on this "ah ha" moment. I was never more sure that I had made a good decision in my life, than I was when I made this one. However, I had to prove that I was a "good candidate" for this surgery to my surgeon of choice. I have clinical depression as well. I had to improve my very poor mood and make a go at a trial diet (Optifast), develope and exercise plan (cross trainer 5X week for 30 min.) and develope a mental health support plan that worked. I did it. I got the consent of the surgeon to operate on me. He did my hernia repair 1st. 10 weeks later I had my gastric sleeve surgery on November 29th, 2012. I just got home from the hospital today, December 3rd, 2012. I am doing very well. Amazingly well. Decided to start this blog off today. So this is my first entry. I will come back again to tell you about how my first 4 days post op have gone. I have been keeping a diary and some photos too. I have a lot of thoughts about how big a deal ths surgery is going to be for me. Maybe I will process this with blog. Stay strong and be well. Saltmistrose